Even Easy Has Problems
by Crimson1
Summary: The Epilogue of the sequel to If It Were Only This Easy. With relationships having formed, where do the boys go from here? SEX! Ahem. YAOI! 58, 39.
1. New Beginning

EVEN EASY HAS PROBLEMS

* * *

There is only gold.

Gaze locked forward on eyes he has known for so many years, and even longer in his dreams, there is only gold for Sanzo. He has felt many emotions in response to such steady looks from these eyes—annoyance, helplessness, devotion, passion—but nothing like what he is feeling now. He feels trapped. Guilty.

Gold is staring back at Sanzo with a look of accusation, and suddenly he sees that there is more than merely gold, there is also crimson. Not crimson from the hair or eyes of a certain half-breed, but the too true crimson of what so many people see represented in that hair and eyes.

_Blood_.

Not like this. Never like this. Goku _has_ his limiter. No one has been hurt. And yet…Goku is staring back at him with a look of betrayal, blood staining his lips and pouring too rapidly from a wound in the boy's stomach that Sanzo had at first missed.

Looking slowly down at his own trembling hand, Sanzo can see the weapon, his own weapon, still smoking from use. But why? Why does it have to be this way? Why does Sanzo have to be the one responsible for yet another life lost? He doesn't even remember pulling the trigger.

Everything is gold again when Sanzo looks up, but there is no spark to meet him this time. There are only the remnants of hurt and blame left to stare back at him just before Goku's body begins to crumble, not falling forward or back, just down, _down_ at Sanzo's feet.

For the briefest of moments, Sanzo remembers why he first chose his Smith and Wesson—for its size. The perfect size. Just the right size for him to at any point put to his own temple.

For the first time Sanzo is thankful for his choice as he raises the gun to his head.

-----

There is only blue.

The sky above, blindingly bright as Sanzo opens his eyes, is bright blue and endless. As something near a gasp leaves his lips from waking so suddenly, he remembers where he is and why the sky is so directly in his line of sight. He is laying flat on his back, though his legs are too long to be straight. He would not be able to lay flat if he was sitting up front, but then he has not been in the front of the jeep for several days. Genjou Sanzo is in the back, his head lying comfortably on his charge's legs, while the monkey remains blissfully slumbering.

Or at least Goku _had_ been slumbering until a certain monk's sudden waking managed to wake him too. And once again, since Sanzo is still looking up…

Gold.

"Sanzo?"

"Stop hovering."

A quick rustling of robes has Sanzo sitting up again. He pushes a hand through his hair as if to comb out his thoughts, keeping Goku behind him despite the intensity of gold he can feel on his back.

He should not be so upset. He should not be so short with Goku when the boy is only concerned. But that dream…it had not been the first time he had seen it. In fact, he has had that same dream since first coming back to the real world. After almost a week, it is starting to get on his nerves.

"Sanzo…are you…okay?"

Sanzo sighs. He has been trying to be more tolerant and patient with Goku. More…nice. But it isn't easy. "I'm fine." He says simply. The fewer the words he uses the easier it is to keep them from sounding terse.

"Oh, okay then." Replies Goku in a mildly hurt voice that betrays the pout Sanzo is more than certain must be sitting all too cutely on the boy's mouth.

Turning back with some reluctance, Sanzo feels his mouth twitch when he takes in the sight of Goku—eyes cast down, mouth tight, brow furrowed with worry. It makes him want to tackle the boy back into the seat. "It's nothing. Don't worry so much." The monk manages, not any more used to his softer tone than any of the others are. When it comes out, caressing his words with something he has never before possessed, he seems like a young man of 23 (as he should) rather than a world-weary monk aged by an endless journey.

Goku lifts his eyes from being cast down in concern. In a moment they are filled with their usual light again, a smile stretching his mouth to each end of his face. A few words only, but hearing them spoken with something near tenderness is more than Goku could ask for after only a few days.

A few wonderful days, Goku recounts, filled with comfortable conversations and jokes among them all, and snuggling by the fire of their campsite at night that somehow didn't have Gojyo and Sanzo mumbling teasing remarks at one another.

The one town they had passed allowed them to spend the night in some sense of luxury despite being a shared room with four beds. While the older men were perfectly fine with this, Goku had seemed rather put out. Not one to forget the boy's telling behavior, Sanzo is understandably anxious in regards to reaching the next town, especially if there are enough rooms for the monkey to demand a double. Actually, a double would be fine; Sanzo is expecting a shared room with one bed, speaking of more than he is ready to deal with right now. Unfortunately, if he decides to desist, he already knows what Goku's response will be.

_It's not like we haven't done it before._

For a moment, Sanzo forgets he is trying to be nicer. "Wipe that stupid grin off your face, monkey. You look like an idiot."

Everything that had recently built Goku up summarily deflates. "Hey!" he protests, used to these sudden mood swings since Sanzo is having a rather tough time adjusting, but still quick with ready comebacks. "Just coz I like it when you're being semi-nice to me doesn't mean you have to be such a prick about it."

"Yeah, bouzu," Gojyo puts in, peering back at the pair through the rearview mirror, "The monkey might start holding out on you if you're not careful."

There is a barely contained but still polite chuckle from Hakkai.

Goku fights a blush.

Sanzo finds his harisen.

WHACK.

"Damnit, you shitty monk!"

"Mind your own business or shut the hell up." Despite the common words, Sanzo does not sound quite as venomous as he might have a week prior, and—though Gojyo knows not to say so aloud—the strikes of the fan are not nearly as severe as they used to be either. "I don't want you talking about my sex life any more than I want to hear about yours." Sanzo affirms. Then, with a grin forming as he places the harisen back into his robes, "Or lack there of." He adds.

Gojyo growls, but doesn't have a comeback.

Emerald eyes flash in the rearview mirror indicating that Hakkai is not very pleased with Sanzo's addition, seeing as how the issue has not been brought up between himself and Gojyo and he would rather like to keep it that way. At least for now. The last thing he needs is for the hanyou to feel unmanly. That can only lead to a need to prove said manliness and _that_ can only lead to chaos.

Noticing the flash of emerald, Sanzo shrugs his shoulders in as much of a sign of apology as he would ever offer and settles back into his seat, trying to focus on the horizon ahead. Having to see around a certain redhead, however, is not something he has grown accustomed to yet.

Goku, noticing the scowl on Sanzo's face and the sudden quiet, tries to remember that they really have been bonding a bit better since their strange adventure a week before, but in moments like this it is easy to forget that.

Luckily, he knows the perfect way to remember again.

"Just ignore the kappa, Sanzo." Goku whispers, hoping his voice is low enough so that the others can't quite make out what he is saying. He scoots close to the blonde, slinking an arm around the too thin waist and leaning his mouth up to dance his breath along Sanzo's ear. "I'd never hold out on _you_."

Sanzo swallows, his eyes closing against his will at the feel of a wet tongue along his inner ear. He fights to keep his voice steady even while his stomach is filling with a steady stream of warmth only Goku can surge up within him. "Knock it off." He hisses. "We talked about this."

There is a clear huff of frustration. Yes, they have talked about this, about how Sanzo doesn't like vulgar public displays of affection. Napping close together, like with his head in Goku's lap or the boy curled against his chest, he will occasionally allow without a fuss. There is even the very rarely allowed peck on the lips or slightly deeper kiss if Hakkai and Gojyo aren't looking. But anything else should and must be kept more private.

The problem Goku has with this is that even when he has managed to get Sanzo alone, say in the shared room while Gojyo and Hakkai were bathing, or out in the trees when the others are making camp, Sanzo always shies away after more than a few heated kisses and caresses.

And it is starting to piss the monkey off. "What's your deal?" he asks, a little louder than Sanzo would like this conversation to be. "I mean, I get the whole privacy thing, coz it's you, and…you don't even like others to touch you let alone have them see you being touched, but…this is me, and…ya know, we've already--"

"That was different." Sanzo growls, his words holding quite a bit of bite despite being very hushed. He turns to face Goku, eyes narrowed even with their faces so close. "It wasn't the same as if it…really happened. Our bodies had nothing to do with it."

Whispered so low and so quickly, Goku is definitely the only one who could have heard that, and having heard it as clear as the day around them, Goku is stunned. This is something Sanzo has not mentioned before. It has only been a few days really but still, Goku cannot believe Sanzo just said that.

As if to say—for Sanzo—what they shared never happened.

Goku's silence and horrified look have spoken for him, enough for Sanzo to be painfully aware just how well the monkey has taken his finally admitted outlook on their…excursion.

"Look," Sanzo says, his voice even softer yet, "I'm not saying it didn't mean anything so stop looking so freaked. But it wasn't the same as _really_ being together. Our minds thought it, believed it, and…probably made it easier than it might have been, but--"

"Than it _will_ be, you mean."

Sanzo tries to keep his eye from twitching. "I'm not denying anything, but get it through your head that I am not going to jump into bed with you as soon as we're in a room alone together." Goku's look of sure protest forces Sanzo to continue. "That doesn't mean it will _never_ happen, just…quit being so impatient. We're here to do a mission not play house. Our love life is the last thing that should be on anyone's mind right now."

Once more, Goku looks about to protest, but his open and ready mouth quickly closes. He knows Sanzo is right. There are more important things to be worrying about. Like how they still haven't heard back from Kougaiji. How they still don't know who caused their little side trip to the dream-world.

And how Goku has been hinting that he is still curious about practicing without his limiter. Sanzo almost shudders at the thought, even if he does firmly believe that Goku is powerful enough to conquer his other self in the end.

"I'm not planning on wasting the time we have," Sanzo says, his voice taking on that strange tenderness Goku is learning to adore more than he ever imagined. A pale hand reaches up to cup Goku's face, the words unspoken—that what time they do have could end at any moment with the danger of this mission—hanging thickly between them. "You keep telling me you're strong, that I shouldn't worry. I won't worry. I know you're strong. And so am I. Strong enough to know what I want. And I'm not about to forget any of it."

Goku all too willingly melts into the kiss Sanzo offers then, loving that it is gentle and light, whispering as Sanzo's voice has whispered, and as tender as the monk's tone. Tender. Something about Sanzo being tender sends goose bumps to crawl onto every inch of Goku's skin.

He loves it.

When Sanzo pulls away, this time both of them are feeling content and satisfied, at least for now. Goku doesn't entirely agree with the idea of waiting, but he will allow Sanzo to have this small win, even if he still plans to pull off a mighty victory in the war ahead.

"Are you two done with the pillow talk yet?" Gojyo asks, never one to learn from past mistakes it would seem despite receiving the occasional bump on the head.

Hakkai chuckles, wisely adding nothing.

Goku grins.

Sanzo…grins a little too.

-----

"Four singles, please."

"You're in luck. We happen to have exactly four available. Please enjoy your stay." The young and rather pretty hostess hands Hakkai four keys. She bats her eyes shyly, her gaze moving around Hakkai to stare at Gojyo who has been grinning at her since they walked in.

Trying not to notice this blatant flirtation, Hakkai gives a small bow and turns around to hand the individual keys to each of his companions. Gojyo is still grinning at the hostess when the key handed to him unmistakably stabs him in the hand as it is pressed into his palm.

Gojyo gives a small yelp, his attention suddenly on his friend with a look of pained indignation.

Hakkai avoids making eye contact, moving quickly to excuse himself for the night since they had stopped at a restaurant before entering the inn and have all been looking forward to calling it a night. As he makes his quick exit he tries very hard to ignore the redhead he can feel tailing him for some time until he can ignore it no longer.

"Something on your mind, Gojyo?" Hakkai asks, coming to a slow stop and peering over his shoulder past the little white dragon perched there. Crimson eyes blink back at him and he offers them an impressive smile—that would fool no one. "If there is anything you need…?"

Gojyo fights a grimace, keeping his distance of about a person-length away from his friend. "I'm not gonna say anything about the singles." he says.

"I thank you--"

"Though I _could_."

Hakkai pauses. "…Yes, I am most certain of that, Gojyo."

"What I _am_ gonna say…is why the hell am I suddenly getting treated like good 'ol friend Gojyo again?"

"Excuse me?"

An urge to take action—and possibly violent action since he is used to such things when dealing with Goku—rises up in Gojyo and is very difficult to curb. In the end, he refrains from stepping any closer to Hakkai but manages to look thoroughly disgruntled. "You wanna call it quits already?" he asks sharply. "Huh? Coz it sure seems like it with the way you just blew me off. If you have a problem with us being more physical then just say it."

Skilled in unreadable expressions, Hakkai remains impassive as he replies. "If you feel you can finally admit your reasoning for seeking more of the physical then I suggest _you_ speak first." he counters, smiling very slightly in a way that is far from amused or pleasant.

Gojyo gapes. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Hakkai sighs. "Not a thing."

"Hn. Right. I know what this is about. You think I'm competing, doncha?" Gojyo says in an accusing tone, sneering as if highly offended. "You think I care if the monk and monkey fuck around? To hell with them. They have nothing to do with us."

"I'm glad you understand that."

"Then what's your problem!"

Hakkai's expression drops, all the fight and feigning flooding out of him. It takes only two long and purposeful strides to bring him and Gojyo closer together. "Please do not see my unwillingness to further things as a sign of disinterest, Gojyo. Have we not discussed our feelings? Are they not the basis for what we feel, the reason behind what we are attempting to build?"

"Of course." Gojyo jumps in, face scrunched with anger and fists clenching tight at his sides. "I told you right at the start this isn't about sex. I care about _you_. If I wanted sex I'd be--"

"Spending the night with that lovely clerk at the front desk?"

Suddenly, the world makes sense again. "Ah, shit." Gojyo grumbles, a hand nervously lifting to scratch at the back of his head in his usual 'hand-in-the-cookie-jar' gesture. Although he can feel emerald continuously locked on him, Gojyo does all he can to avoid meeting them. "I didn't say anything, ya know."

"You never need to, Gojyo. Actions speak louder than words, as they say, and looks speak volumes. Perhaps…we have rushed into things."

Gojyo's head snaps up. "What? Hey, hang on a second here--"

"I'm only saying, perhaps we should not so cavalierly consider ourselves a…couple."

"But I thought--"

"Old habits are hard to break, Gojyo, and I know how much you enjoy your female companionship."

"Hakkai, hold on!" Gojyo nearly shouts, reaching out to grasp Hakkai's forearms and finally get the other man's attention. As Hakkai quiets and meets his gaze directly, Gojyo knows he has finally been successful. "Listen, I'm gonna look at girls once in a while. Can't help it. Been doing it for almost 23 years. If I seem to flirt or look too long, I'm sorry, it _is_ a hard habit to break. But that doesn't mean I wanna end things or slow down."

"But--"

"No. No buts. I am not trying to replace my 'need for female companionship' with jumping in the sack with you. I just…I just want to be able to slip up behind you and kiss your neck a little without you flinching. I know it's only been a week. I'm not asking for sex here. Just…don't act so spooked. This is supposed to be the fun part."

Hoping he has successfully calmed Hakkai now, Gojyo moves the smallest bit closer and leans in, grinning the whole way to the finish line. He almost expects Hakkai to pull back before he can claim a kiss, but when their lips meet, slow and soft and simple, he is not at all disappointed.

They part, both a little tingling, their senses dulled. Hakkai blushes at Gojyo's constant stare and pulls away first, taking a small step back. He tries to collect himself and appear…calm.

"Mmm…I hope that means we understand each other then." The brunette says.

Gojyo cocks an eyebrow. "Do we?"

"I…believe so. Though I hope you know it will never be easy for me to see this 'accidental' flirting, hard habit though it may be. I can be…somewhat…possessive."

"Heh, no shit."

Hakkai's eyes find a comfortable place on the floor. "I…apologize."

"Don't." Gojyo replies without the slightest hesitation. He raises a hand to Hakkai's face, resting it on the paler man's cheek only a moment before letting it slowly slide away. He winks, turns, and says with a wave over his shoulder, "Night, Hakkai. If you do get a little lonely, I'm not far away."

For a few minutes, Hakkai barely moves, watching the door Gojyo eventually disappeared into. The hall is empty, Sanzo and Goku in rooms on the other side of the inn. Eventually, sleep sounds very appealing and with a shadow of a smile, Hakkai turns to find his own room.

-----

I miss you Sanzo.

Goku blinks up at the ceiling, that same thought running through his head more often than he would like. Normally, he would be out like a light the moment he found a semi-comfy surface, but tonight he may as well be sleeping hanging upside down by an ankle.

Since this is the first inn they have stayed at since their trip to the dream-world—other than that shared room between the four of them—Goku is feeling more than a little antsy. The last time he was this alone, Sanzo was with him. And they were definitely not sleeping.

It isn't that Goku doesn't agree with Sanzo's reasons for waiting, but…he really doesn't understand them as well as he should to agree completely. As far as Goku is concerned, there is nothing to wait for. They know how they feel, they have been intimate already whether or not it was truly physically done, and waiting would only be tempting fate to part them before they have really had the chance to enjoy their time together.

And frankly, Goku hasn't been able to stop thinking about the way Sanzo's body had felt since their encounter ended.

He debates dealing with this pent-up energy quick and dirty by his own singular power, but doesn't really have the stomach for it. And for Goku, when his stomach really does rule all, that's saying a hell of a lot.

Rolling onto his side to stare at the door, as if by looking at it long enough he might somehow will it to open and for a handsome blonde to come walking through, Goku doesn't even try to take his mind off of Sanzo. He knows too well how unreasonable that would be; he is always thinking about Sanzo, even when the only thought on his mind is how the monk can sometimes be a real prick.

Besides, there are so many other things he could be thinking about that he would rather ignore right now. Like Kougaiji and what might happen if the prince finally shows up tomorrow. Or what if he doesn't? What if he never does? What about bringing up the whole limiter issue? Sanzo said he would allow it, but were the others just humoring him? And then of course there is the age-old question about reaching west and completing the mission.

Goku snorts. Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.

Feeling a little better, Goku flops onto his back again and closes his eyes, wondering if Sanzo is thinking about him as much as he is thinking about his keeper. He guesses probably not, but it is still nice to imagine.

-----

"Kou? You heard what he said, right? We heading east or what?"

"I think that might be the best course of action, Lord Kougaiji."

"I'm with Doku and Yaone! Let's get going already!"

"Quiet, Lirin." Kougaiji says dismissively, only half paying attention to her since his mind is still reeling with what his subordinate just reported. He almost can't believe it, but the youkai was certain the group had indeed been the Sanzo-ikkou and he swore up and down that Genjyou Sanzo himself really did request an audience.

But what could he want, Kougaiji wonders. Looking to his companions, all anxious and excited, he knows even without their words what it is they are hoping he will command. The question is does he want to risk giving in when there is no way to be certain this isn't a trap?

Knowing the ikkou as he believes he does, he can't imagine they would seek to trap him in such an undignified way, but he also knows never to underestimate an enemy. Especially not one this powerful.

"I will go. The three of you will remain here."

"What!"

"Lord Kougaiji, is that wise?"

"You mean you're not taking me with?"

"I will go alone." Kougaiji restates, violet eyes flaming with resolve none of them would dare challenge, though Lirin does produce a rather prominent pout.

Kougaiji spins on his heels, the white of his long shirt billowing with the motion as he heads for the door out of their shared chambers. He speaks again without turning back, knowing that seeing their worried and pleading faces would weaken his resolve.

"I will return soon. Then…we will all know just what it is they are planning."

tbc...

A/N: I HAVE RETURNED. After Christmas, a really bad flu bug, and moving back to campus in the states, I am back with the sequel. I hope you will all enjoy it. Forgive me for not responding to many questions in reviews. I have many saved and will hopefully get back to you. I would foremost like to explain to dear Diva Urd that even though I would probably benefit from your beta-ing, I don't think I have the patience. The excitement for me comes in that moment when a chapter is finished, knowing right then that I can post. The quickest beta-reader in history couldn't appease my lack of patience. So I thank you humbly, but just don't think it would work for me.

I will tell you up front that I do not know how prompt I can be with updates now that I am home and the US is much harsher with homework. I will try to be good. I will definetely be better now in January than when 2nd semester kicks in in Feb. Anyway, good to be back, I hope all of you are back with me, and PLEASE let me know if you are and what you think of this new beginning. Oh, something I never mentioned is that the dream-world will play a role in this new fic. I couldn't possibly abandon characters I adore so much, after all. I hope you all enjoy the ride and bear with me. Love you all, and...get ready for a wild time indeed. ;-)

Crim


	2. Dealing With Demons

Dealing With Demons

* * *

He has been thinking about it all day, ever since rising—ridiculously early, of course—to leave the inn that morning. It has now been a full, complete week since the Sanzo-ikkou left the dream-world and as far as Goku is concerned he has given the others more than enough of a grace period.

Still, coming right out and saying, 'hey, guys, remember how we talked about practicing without my limiter?' just doesn't seem to be happening. Mulling over this issue has succeeded in keeping Goku quiet for some time actually, to the point where even Sanzo is a little worried, though he would never admit it.

Amidst the quiet, however, Goku has been able to witness a few things he hadn't noticed before. For one, Gojyo and Sanzo are both smoking, something they quickly picked back up by the end of their first day back. Whatever had stolen the flavor of their cigarettes at first had been overridden by their addiction's insistent craving. To his credit, Sanso has been smoking considerably less than usual, and Gojyo never smoked as much as Sanzo anyway, but Goku can't help thinking he really enjoyed those brief hours when not a whiff of smoke filled the air.

Other little things have slowly been coming to the monkey's attention as well. Hakkai seems quite a bit less tense, he thinks, Gojyo almost never makes comments purely to rile Goku up anymore, and Sanzo has this strange little tendency…to smile. Oh, nothing as blinding as the smile Goku remembers Koryuu wearing, but something much more pleasant than the monk's usual smirk. These subtle smiles haven't been directed solely at Goku either, but at Hakkai and even Gojyo.

Many old and pointless arguments arise on occasion, but a camaraderie Goku always hoped for has finally taken root. Sometimes, he would almost swear Sanzo is actually being one of the guys, the four of them palling around as friends instead of being four hellions on a mission west.

And, after all, if they are friends, he should have no problem coming clean and telling the others what he wants. Having come to this conclusion himself, Goku sits up a little straighter in his seat, looks fleetingly at Sanzo who is giving him a questioning look, and with a bolstering breath he speaks.

"Guys," he says, determination overshadowing anything left over from his mulling. "I want to practice taking off my limiter."

Silence. Red and green eyes look through the rearview mirror, their owners hesitant to speak. Violet, locked on the turned face of Goku, tries very hard not to narrow. They all knew this would come up eventually.

"You said you wouldn't have a problem with it," Goku goes on, staring at some indefinable spot between the front seats rather than look at any of his companions directly. "And it would be really handy for us if it worked, ya know. If I can learn to control him, Gyumaou won't stand a chance or anyone before him if we stop the resurrection completely. So…can we…be extra careful and try it the next time we stop?"

A small part of Goku feels very small, asking for this like a child pleading with his parents. Deep down, he doesn't feel he should have to ask at all.

Judging by the look Sanzo is giving him, though, he is quite happy he has asked first.

"We have no right to tell you no." the monk says steadily. "You know how dangerous this might be. But if it's really what you want…" Though Sanzo trails off, he gives no indication he will speak again, instead turning to look up front, silently asking for Gojyo and Hakkai to speak as well.

"We will support you in whatever ways you need, Goku." Hakkai says with a heavy smile.

Gojyo gives a short, humorless laugh. "This is gonna suck if things go bad, but…I believe in ya squirt. No way to know unless we try, right?" He laughs again. "Should've figured you were thinking about this. Not much else could shut _you_ up this long."

The initial swell of antagonistic juices that rise in Goku dry out rather quickly and a very relieved smile takes their place. Goku recognizes that his friends look and sound a little anxious, but they are willing regardless and their support is all he could ask for.

Having dealt with the difficult subject of his limiter and feeling rather triumphant about the whole thing, Goku is just about to initiate some more jovial conversation when he is rudely interrupted.

A ball of fire erupts just off of Hakuryuu's left front wheel, causing Hakkai to swerve sharply to the right with a gritting screech of tires. Goku lets out a shout, Sanzo and Gojyo curse, and Hakkai does his best to keep control until bringing Hakuryuu to a quick and careful halt. In a flash, weapons are readied and summoned with all four looking for the source of the attack.

Sanzo is the first to look up and see the green dragon hovering, but Goku is the first to speak.

"Kougaiji!" the boy shouts, looking perhaps a little too pleased.

Seeing as how this isn't exactly the welcome he is used to, Kougaiji looks down from his higher position with a furrowed brow. Having succeeded in stopping the jeep, the prince flies his dragon lower, circling, until finally making a careful landing just in front of the attentive Sanzo-party.

He leaves the dragon, his face blank, all business, as he takes a few steps closer. When no one from the ikkou speaks, all of them regarding him with varied but equally strange expressions as far as he is concerned, Kougaiji grows impatient.

"It was _you_ who requested _me_, Genjyou Sanzo. If you are not going to speak, I will be on my way."

"No!"

Kougaiji turns to look at Goku who has shouted so desperately. His eyes narrow in suspicion.

Goku sighs. "We're not gonna ambush you or anything. This is about good stuff. Really good. Right, Sanzo?"

Sanzo is clearly not pleased with Goku acting so familiar and chummy towards Kougaiji when—despite the diplomacy intended in this meeting—the monk does not in any way wish to lose the upper hand. "That will depend." Sanzo says, purposely cryptic.

Still with his gun in his hand, Sanzo climbs out of the jeep, noting that Kougaiji is watching him intently as he moves a short distance form the jeep and sits down in the sand. He does not put his gun away put looks to Kougaiji as if it must be obvious that the youkai prince is meant to join him.

Trying not to overdo their grins, Gojyo and Hakkai climb out of the jeep as well and move to sit by Sanzo in the sand. Goku goes last, tossing Kougaiji a reassuring and damn near friendly smile that only proves to unnerve the youkai more. Still, in the end, with the entire Sanzo-ikkou sitting in a semi-circle in the sand waiting for him, Kougaiji eventually walks over and sits himself down as well.

Kougaiji tries to pretend that Goku isn't grinning at him like an excited child.

-----

"You expect me to believe your intentions are honorable?"

"I expect you to believe we are as honorable as we consider _you_." Sanzo says with a near-sneer. As far as he is concerned, the mere offer he has given the prince should be enough incentive. "I also have never thought of you as being as stupid as you seem to be." He adds, ignoring Kougaiji's scowl. "It is a fair trade. Equal help for equal gains."

Kougaiji is still skeptical. "And what is to stop you from simply leaving with the sutras as soon as the castle falls? How can I trust you to keep your end of the bargain?"

"Because it's us!" Goku puts in, thoroughly frustrated that Kougaiji has not jumped all over this idea as the boy hoped he would. Kougaiji turns a skeptical eye on him, but Goku is adamant, sitting on his heels to better deal with his anxious nature. "Have we ever played dirty? Huh? Not _once_. If anyone has, it's you. Using that bracelet thing to get all powerful? _That_ wasn't fair."

Kougaiji bristles. "And unleashing the beast inside of you _is_?" he snarls back.

"That was different!" Goku defends.

But Kougaiji is just as quick to uphold his position. "We are enemies!" the prince roars, his patient having long since run out. "_Fair_ has nothing to do with this."

"Then you should be content accepting our offer on _faith_ since playing fair is not an issue." Hakkai speaks, smiling broadly.

Gojyo, beside him, tries not to snicker.

Sanzo rolls his eyes at what he believes to be the collective stupidity of his companions.

"The offer stands as it is." The monk says sternly, catching Kougaiji's glaring gaze. "It is up to you whether or not you trust us enough to accept it. But believe me, you are a fool if you refuse. I _will_ have the sutras back whether you help us or not."

There is the briefest of pauses before Kougaiji speaks again. "Then it seems I am a fool." A flurry of white and the red from Kougaiji's ponytail is seen and suddenly the prince is on his feet. He bows stiffly, "My answer is no," and turns abruptly to head for his dragon.

"That's it? _No_? Just like that?" Goku is near hysterics despite the control to his volume. He scrambles up from the ground. "We want to help you! We know you don't care about Lirin's mom. You wanna free _yours_. That Nii guy is an evil bastard and Gyokumen-whatever-her-name-is is just as bad. _Please_, Kou."

Still facing his dragon, a visible ripple of tension moves down Kougaiji's spine. He slowly turns, his expression incredulous and wary.

Goku realizes he probably shouldn't have addressed the youkai so informally when they have never quite gone that far before, but he hasn't been able to keep memories of the dream-world-Kougaiji from filling his head. It had been so easy to imagine the prince as a friend and he hates being back in a world that forces them on opposing sides.

"I don't want us to be enemies." Goku says softly, his body sagging somewhat as his saddened eyes stare across the sand at the youkai prince.

"I gotta say, I tend to agree with the monkey on this one." Gojyo is more nonchalant than Goku had been as he gets to his feet, but his expression is serious despite the constant smirk. He nods his head at Kougaiji. "You know who Doku is to me, right? Even if he hasn't told you."

Kougaiji remains still half turned towards his dragon, but nods in response.

"I'm sure you of all people can understand that the last thing I want is to repay the brother who saved me by stabbing him in the back. Or the front. Or anywhere. The reasons we're on opposite sides here is stupid. You know it as much as we do."

"And I certainly have no desire to injure Miss Yaone. She has been so very helpful over the months." Hakkai says, rising from the ground with his usual grace and just as much feigned ease as Gojyo. "I especially would not wish the dear woman harm when so much has been left…unfinished."

The tendons in Kougaiji's neck shift in the waning sunlight. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Hakkai gives a gentle laugh. "Wouldn't you be a better authority on that than I?"

Kougaiji is perplexed by this answer but says nothing.

Sanzo, annoyed to no end, especially with his own companions, finally gets to his feet and dusts himself off. He places his gun back into the folds of his robe at last and captures the youkai prince's attention with a small grunt.

"Still a no?" the monk asks.

While Sanzo keeps a look of disinterest and Gojyo and Hakkai try to remain casual, Goku alone displays a clear sense of eagerness.

Sanzo considers it a small miracle he can refrain from smacking the boy.

Kougaiji, however, does not appear upset _or_ swayed. "I am sorry, but I cannot answer otherwise. Not now." Thoughtful, violet eyes look to each member of the ikkou, lingering the longest on Goku for how hurt the boy appears to be. Resolute, Kougaiji climbs back onto his dragon. He looks to Sanzo. "I will consider the offer, but I make no promises. The situation is…complicated." He turns to Goku. "If there could be another way…"

Whatever ideas of his own dream-world may exist, Kougaiji leaves them unspoken, soaring up and out of sight before the ikkou has had time enough to register his departure.

Goku makes an angry kick at the ground.

Hakkai sighs.

Gojyo shrugs.

Sanzo, in a flurry of robes, turns on his heel and heads for Hakuryuu.

The dragon, who had long ago turned into his animal form to 'rest his wheels,' turns back into a jeep upon seeing Sanzo's intent form coming his way. Usually, he is not so accommodating to those other than Hakkai, but some people are not to be messed with. In a moment, Sanzo is settled once again into his spot in the back.

Hakkai and Gojyo exchange a look of shared acceptance of the inevitable and soon follow.

Goku, kicking once more at the ground, comes last. "This _sucks_."

-----

The ikkou travels for some time in silence, a few of them content merely with the knowledge that things were not truly finalized with Kougaiji, meaning there is still the possibility of a truce. Goku, however, is in a mood sour enough to rival one of Sanzo's.

This is something _Sanzo_ is not at all fond of. "Snap out of it, monkey." he commands, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring sideways at his seat partner. "You're acting like a brat who didn't get his way. It's annoying and childish. Cut it out."

Feathers significantly ruffled, Goku mirrors Sanzo by stubbornly crossing his arms and gives a loud, angry huff. "Geez, can't I even be mad without you turning pissy on me? It's not like I'm angry at _you_. I just…urrg! You know, I almost blurted it out and told Kougaiji what we saw, what it would be like if we were friends. Maybe I should have. I mean, if he just _knew_…"

The growing and rather taunting sound of Gojyo's laughter causes Goku to trail off. The hanyou shakes his head, turning in his seat to look back at Goku in amusement. "Think about what you're saying, chimp. Telling Kougaiji about our collective dream of a better world when we don't know shit about it? He'd think you were even crazier than he already does. The way you were eyeing him the whole time he was here, you probably have the poor guy thinking you wanna jump him or something."

Sanzo's foot 'accidentally' kicks Gojyo's seat a little harder than necessary.

Goku at first looks horrified, but, seeing as how he is still irritable, quickly recovers. "I _like_ Kougaiji, okay? He's cool. And I hate that we're enemies. It's just so…stupid."

"He may yet change his mind, Goku." Hakkai offers, eyes always wisely focused on the road ahead. "He looked truly sorry for having to leave things as he did. At least now he knows of our position and another option has been opened to him. With time, perhaps he will return."

Goku's mouth opens and closes a few times while the boy tries to weed out just what it is he wants—or doesn't want—to say. Finally, eyes cast down while his arms remain tightly crossed, Goku speaks. "What if the next time we see him and the others…we have to fight again?" His question is softly spoken, betraying none of the anger he had shown moments before. Silence follows the question and Goku finds himself clenching his eyes tight, hating the sound of nothing that is swelling up around him. "See, we're all thinking it. None of us want to fight them again. Not after what we saw. I mean, no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking of Yaone as pregnant." Adding this forces Goku to scrunch up his nose at the thought. "How do you fight a pregnant woman?"

Hakkai gives a slight chuckle, but it is difficult for him to maintain it, especially seeing as how he is the one who will have to fight that woman if their parties meet again. He knows as well as they all do that Yaone is not actually pregnant in their world, but as Goku has put it, most things about the dream-world are proving difficult to forget.

Sometimes, they wouldn't want to forget the things they saw for anything in the world.

Fully drained now that he has voiced his anger and concerns, Goku decides that an escape from it is the most desirable thing right now. Without a single glance or word of warning, he scoots closer to Sanzo, lifts the monk's arms apart so he can snuggle inside of them, and lays his head in just the right spot so he can hear the lullaby of his keeper's heartbeat.

The fact that Sanzo tenses only briefly and says nothing to make Goku feel unwelcome has the monkey feeling supremely better, and soon he is producing contented little snores as he sleeps.

When Gojyo peers back over the seat, Sanzo does all he can to quell his smile so the redhead won't be 'forced' to comment on it. After all, Genjyou Sanzo is not undone by his charge being adorable. He is much stronger than that.

Goku's arms unconsciously wrap tighter around Sanzo's waist, burying the boy deeper against his side. Sanzo feels heat flood to his face. Gojyo, still watching, grins widely but says nothing. When the hanyou turns back to face the front, Sanzo feels himself relax. He thinks he could rather get used to this silent agreement between him and the kappa. It saves him the effort of having to smack Gojyo upside the head.

-----

"We're really doing this then?"

"After dinner, yes."

"And Sanzo's sure he can control things?"

"He is rather adept at mystical wards, Gojyo. I am sure there is nothing to worry about."

Gojyo is not so sure.

Helping Hakkai set up camp while Goku is off collecting firewood and Sanzo is busy preparing the wards they will need against Seiten Taisei, the redhead is more than a little on edge. In fact, several times he has dropped something on his friend's foot due to his distracted attention. The first time it was only a clothes pack, but just a minute ago he dropped the cooking supplies—meaning, the bag with the frying pan in it. He figures he will be apologizing for that one for quite some time.

"I want this to work. I do." Gojyo says, plopping himself down beside what will soon be their fire now that makeshift beds have been made and the supplies are out. He looks up at Hakkai who soon joins him. "I mean, if it _does_ work, we'll be near invincible with that thing on our side."

"Gojyo," Hakkai chides, close enough to nudge his friend with his shoulder in reprimand. "Please do not refer to Goku's other half as a thing. Especially not in front of Goku himself. This is a touchy subject as you know. And I do not believe even having him on our side would make anything about us invincible. Everything has a weakness."

Gojyo barks out a laugh, nudging Hakkai just as he had been nudged. "Yeah, and we got the _weakness_ on our side too," he says, gesturing with a nod at Sanzo, who is thankfully out of earshot.

"Be that as it may," Hakkai replies, "this Seiten Taisei within Goku may prove untamable. At least at a level that can be useful without him turning on us. Even if we do make a certain amount of progress, there is no way to know if he will be of help to us in the final battle."

"Well then, we'll just have to count on someone else's powerful form."

"Excuse me?" Hakkai turns his head to regard Gojyo with a large amount of warning in the look.

Gojyo pretends he doesn't notice it. "Goku told me back in the dream-world that he got to see you all demoned-out. That's twice on this journey, you know. Maybe you're not so afraid of it anymore."

The tenderness on Gojyo's face is enough to crush any resentment Hakkai had at first tried to have. Still, he finds his gaze drifting downwards and has to close his eyes to keep from staring at his hands. "Gojyo…it was never that I was…afraid. If there are no other options, of course--"

"Maybe you need a little practicing too." Gojyo jumps in, far too thoughtful on the subject as far as Hakkai is concerned. "I know you have a helluva lot more control than the chimp, but you might feel better about things if you stretched your claws _not_ out of necessity for a change."

Hakkai's eyes are very much open again and are staring disbelievingly into the confident face of his longtime friend—who has clearly lost his mind. "Gojyo, I have no need nor desire to 'stretch my claws.' Goku and I could not be more different."

"I know. I just think it would be good for you."

"Kyuu!"

Hakuryuu, whom the boys have been forgetting a little too much lately after being without him in the dream-world, waddles over to nose Hakkai's leg. Hakkai promptly picks the small dragon up, sets him in his lap, and proceeds to stroke the white scales out of habit.

Gojyo watches this with a half-smile, admiring the strange little father-son relationship that seems to exist between master and pet.

"Tell me, Jiipu, what do _you_ think about Hakkai learning to live with himself a bit better?" Gojyo asks of the dragon, totally ignoring the look of reproach on Hakkai's face. "You think it would be a wonderful idea, don't you?"

"Kyuu?"

"See, he agrees with me."

Hakkai shakes his head in disapproval. "Gojyo, that is not what he said."

"Oh?" Gojyo says with a smirk, "then what _did_ he say?"

Hakuryuu's head tilts curiously, his attention switching back and forth between the two men. Hakkai seems stumped for an answer but will not admit so, and Gojyo looks rather pleased with himself. Seeing as how whatever is happening between the pair probably doesn't concern him directly, Hakuryuu decides to make himself comfortable on his master's legs and take a nap.

Hakkai doesn't mind at all.

When Goku comes back with the firewood, quite obviously avoiding Sanzo and the place where the monk is setting up their 'testing ground,' Hakkai manages to start a fire and begin cooking dinner without disturbing the sleeping dragon on his lap. Goku thinks this is terribly impressive. Gojyo just laughs.

With the group soon gathering around the fire to eat, Gojyo leaves the matter of Hakkai's limiter's alone. Unsurprisingly, the matter of Goku's limiter also seems to be out of the conversation, despite the fact that things are all setup for after dinner and that what they are soon to do could prove more dangerous than any of them are willing to admit.

Goku tries to break up the obvious tension by joking, even going so far as to initiate a food war with Gojyo as they used to have so often. Lately, the pair has proven much more 'mature,' as Hakkai put it, and 'not like brainless animals,' according to Sanzo. Goku's regression is therefore quite obviously fabricated, but Gojyo and the others play along. Sanzo even makes the sacrifice of using his fan on the both of them.

For the first time, the monk does nothing whatsoever to try and hide his smile.

All too soon, however, the absence of food and any juvenile distraction becomes chillingly apparent. Still, Goku, for all the boldness he has found of late, is the first to rise and look to the wards Sanzo has made for him.

"Well?"

tbc...

A/N: Man, you guys are spoiled. Hasn't even been a week and I feel guilty for taking so long. :-) Oh well. Hope you liked. Sorry to keep up my 'Queen of Cliffhangers' title, but oh well. Things shall get so nicely interesting, and stay interesting by making you wonder. I hope no one is too disappointed Kou didn't go, 'sure guys, sounds great,' but that just didn't seem like him. He'll need some time and some convincing. I will have plenty to keep the ikkou occupied while Kou thinks, don't you worry. I also had an epiphany about the ending the other day, so I know just where this is going. I don't know everything about how to get there, but I sure am excited. Thanks for sticking with me, everyone. Don't forget to let me know you're out there.

Crim


	3. Not So Best Laid Plans

Not So Best Laid Plans

* * *

Goku cringes as Sanzo tightens the bindings on his left wrist. They aren't the strongest of fastenings, but with the aid of Sanzo's wards the monk is certain they will be enough to keep Seiten Taisei from escaping. Gojyo and Hakkai, weapon out and chi at the ready, bookend the area Sanzo has set up. 

While Goku breathes slowly and evenly to keep himself calm, he is not oblivious to Sanzo's complete apathy, and it is not making any of this easier. Normally, he wouldn't be so surprised; Sanzo is often apathetic. Violently so in some cases, but more disinterested than anything. Lately, however, Sanzo has been so much more _feeling_ towards him.

The way the monk won't quite look him in the eye, even while he is tightening the bindings and checking the wards, is a little too unsettling. "Sanzo…?" Goku says.

"Aa?"

"You think I can do this…right?"

Coming to a noticeably abrupt stop, Sanzo's arms lower from where they had been securing the last of the bands keeping Goku in place. "This is the first try. Even you aren't stupid enough to think it will come easily."

Goku scowls. He hates that Sanzo's expression is so unreadable, leading him to read into it however he wishes. "Yeah. I know that. But you looking _that scared_ is not helping."

Sanzo's look turns sour. "Think about which one of us is tied up right now and _then_ say that to me. Damn monkey," he adds under his breath, the smallest hint of amusement grabbing hold of him after Goku produces a very prominent pout. But remembering the situation at hand has Sanzo quickly looking serious. "You ready?" He turns out before Goku can respond, looking individually at Gojyo and Hakkai. "_You_ ready?"

They nod, each clearly anxious but sensible enough to offer Goku friendly and encouraging smiles.

Sanzo turns back to his bound charge. He does not speak again, but his expression says enough. When Goku nods once, resolutely, Sanzo wastes little time before reaching up and—as never before—willingly removing Goku's limiter from his brow.

Goku's cry is immediate, painful but in an unspecific way. The boy's companions have never once thought to ask if the change is honestly painful, but they are almost certain Goku would not remember even if it were.

The change _is_ painful, memorably and unbearably painful, but not for Goku.

Though the others may not realize it, this is the first time Sanzo has actually seen Goku change. Certainly he was there when the older Goku changed in the dreamworld, but that was different. Sanzo had felt removed then because he could never quite see the other Goku as being _his_ Goku. This time, he knows it is his Goku—his on more levels than he has ever admitted before.

Sanzo has been unconscious and simply not present the other times Goku changed, but this time, for the first time he is watching it happen. The shock of it, the reality of it is indeed painful, enough so for Sanzo's greatest anger to rise up and be directed with full force at the source of all his truest, greatest fears.

Seiten Taisei Son Goku.

Slit gold eyes look up slowly, Goku's head having gone limp moments before. But it is not Goku who stares out—longer hair framing his now malicious face, with fangs that grin and claws to adorn the hands straining at his bonds. It is not Goku who growls, who howls, who lurches forward with a lust Sanzo could never recognize in the boy he has known these many years. No. Seiten Taisei is a wholly different creature.

"Stage one: complete. Stage two…we realize what dip-shits we are and put the damn thing back on. Right?"

Sanzo and Hakkai choose not to respond to Gojyo's comment.

All three are focused intensely on Seiten Taisei pulling at his bindings. No one knows what else to say. There is no precedence for this. They discussed things, they remember how things went in the dreamworld, but to come this far, to actually attempt it themselves…has all of them more than tongue-tied. Even Gojyo fails to add any following comments.

A particularly vicious lunge from the creature before them has Sanzo snarling in Seiten Taisei's face. He has no patience, not with the anger he feels and not when finding a solution to this means so much to Goku. Especially not when the imp-with-fangs is daring to challenge him so openly with that _look_.

It is a look that speaks of hunger far beyond that of Goku's want for meatbuns. It is a look of smug confidence, believing that whatever it is he craves, he can acquire it easily, despite the ties on his arms and legs. It is a look that dares. A look that taunts. A look that knows nothing of fear.

Sanzo pulls his gun.

"Sanzo!" Hakkai calls instinctively, a string of panic clear in his tone.

Sanzo ignores him. He points his gun—cocked—into the face of the snarling beast. "Shut up or I'm firing a bullet down your throat." He promises.

A low growl, deep and threatening, begins to grow within the beast as Seiten Taisei stares down the barrel of Sanzo's Smith and Wesson. He lunges again, calling the monk's bluff.

Sanzo fires.

Hakkai gasps.

But Gojyo, used to the firing of that gun, is not quick to flinch when he knows only too well that a bullet from Sanzo's gun will never find a target unless truly seeking one.

The released bullet, having lodged itself in the tree behind Seiten Taisei—though not without grazing the beast's cheek—failed to cause any true harm. Feeling the small wound so mockingly dripping blood upon his face, however, has Seiten Taisei looking furious. His growling and lunges forward stop, but his eyes burn with promised revenge.

"You can save the silent threats for someone who gives a shit," Sanzo says without sympathy, lowering his gun, but not putting it away. He meets that heated gold and matches it for every wave of intensity given, "I don't like you. In fact," he sneers, "I couldn't hate you more. You act like you own that body. You _don't_. You pretend to be tough and unyielding, but even the smallest look from _me_ has made you falter."

Seiten Taisei hisses as if to dispute such an accusation.

Sanzo does not pause. "You're _not_ the owner of that body. You're _not_ the one who matters. You're a _front_. A _fucking shield_ to protect the real you. Are you really that weak, Goku? Do you really need this? No! You're stronger than this!"

The subtle, silent growth of fury on Seiten Taisei's face is more than a warning or a promise. It is preparation, as if the beast is only biding his time before making some calculating move.

"Yo…hey, monk…maybe you should lay off a bit." comes Gojyo's very warning voice, seeing this danger in Seiten Taisei while Sanzo apparently cannot.

"I agree. I do not believe this is the best route to take, Sanzo." Hakkai adds, his voice also holding a fair amount of warning.

But Sanzo, whether he can hear his companions or not, ignores their warnings. "Maybe you _are_ weak. Maybe you're nothing but a stupid monkey who can't do anything for himself so he has to hide behind a shit-for-brains tank to feel powerful. Is that all you are!"

The splintering of wood and a great rip from the bindings on Seiten Taisei's right arm sounds suddenly like an all too late omen of bad tidings. Hakkai and Gojyo both push forward, each still flanking the area where Seiten Taisei is bound, but still somewhat behind Sanzo, who is just in front of the now enraged creature.

Enraged is the only word to describe him. He looks more feral than either Gojyo or Hakkai can ever remember. They do not quite understand why Sanzo has chosen such a dangerous route for this experiment, but then again, perhaps they do. Sanzo has just as much to lose as Goku does if the beast ever takes full control, or if a bullet is ever the only thing capable of stopping it. It wouldn't surprise either of them if Sanzo actually does hate Seiten Taisei even more than Goku.

"Sanzo, we must replace the limiter. We cannot risk him getting free." Hakkai stresses, raising his hands in warning at the snarling beast as crackling chi begins to build between his palms.

Sanzo, staring only forward just as Seiten Taisei is staring at him, is barely moved or shaken at how the beast is breaking his bonds. "You…are everything I _hate_…and I can't even have the pleasure of shooting you."

Sanzo's arm is swifter than his feet as he moves forward. While one hand still holds his gun, the other clings to Goku's limiter. In a moment, the coronet has been placed back where it belongs, and Seiten Taisei gives a great, angry cry before going inevitably limp.

Gojyo and Hakkai breathe in unison as if both had been holding every bit of air in.

Sanzo remains impassive.

Carefully—and rather gently, Gojyo and Hakkai observe—Sanzo releases Goku from his bonds. It takes a good minute or more, but when the smaller man is indeed free, Sanzo scoops him into his arms, walking past Gojyo and Hakkai without a word or glance at either of them.

Gojyo allows Shakujou to zap itself back into oblivion and pulls out his lighter and a fresh cigarette. He lights it immediately. He figures he's earned this one.

Stepping up beside Hakkai, who has since diffused his gathered chi and is now staring mournfully after Sanzo and Goku, Gojyo throws an arm around his friend while taking his first few puffs. "No sweat, babe. We knew this first time would be shot to hell no matter what we did."

Hakkai's mouth twitches into a half-hearted smile, "Perhaps. But that does not change how Goku will wake up feeling disappointed," he says. Sighing, he turns slightly to tilt his head towards Gojyo. "We will have to be more careful with his bindings next time. Also…Sanzo…he worries me a little."

"Heh. No shit."

"Seriously now, Gojyo. I know Sanzo has been much more pleasant lately--"

"Towards the monkey maybe."

"But that does not mean he is all right," Hakkai finishes, "The dreamworld affected all of us. For Sanzo, what he has gained must feel almost entirely like something he will one day lose. Seiten Taisei is the source of his conflicted feelings because that creature will most likely be the cause of Sanzo's loss."

"_Might_ be, Hakkai," Gojyo corrects, uncharacteristically stern despite his smile, "Not will be. _Might_. And _never_ if I have anything to say about it."

Hakkai leans his head into Gojyo's shoulder, his own smile turning wholly genuine. "But of course, Gojyo."

Gojyo's smile returns to being more genuine as well, and in moments he has thrown his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. He really is trying to cut down.

Deciding it would probably be best to head back to the jeep—Hakuryuu having been purposely asked to remain behind in case Seiten Taisei got loose—Gojyo and Hakkai see it as in everyone's best interest to save the poor dragon from Sanzo's wrath should the monk choose to direct any of his anger outward.

Glancing back at the failed practice area, both Gojyo and Hakkai secretly wonder if 'might' really is the right word.

-----

Several hours after the attempt with Seiten Taisei, the sulking monkey is awake and about as moody as the others expected. He hasn't acted out, but his silence, a silence that could never be customary when he is usually so talkative and boisterous, is a clear enough sign of his sullen mood.

Sanzo has spoken just as little as his charge, leaving the explanation of events to Hakkai, with the occasional supportive word from Gojyo that—after the millionth, 'I'm sure you'll lick this thing next time, monkey'—had Goku anything BUT convinced.

What Goku is most concerned about is a more thorough explanation of Sanzo's reactions since Hakkai only briefly mentioned that Sanzo's choice of words and encouragement did not go over very well with Seiten Taisei. For Goku, however, it is far easier to blame any failures on himself, especially when the only eyes he longs to meet right now are insistent on avoiding his gaze.

Sanzo's disappointed, he thinks.

What Goku doesn't realize is that Sanzo is thinking quite the reverse.

It's my fault he's acting like this, the monk thinks. It's my fault we failed.

But neither would readily admit their feelings when the response they are imagining would only verify their beliefs, wrong as those beliefs may be.

Hakkai, attuned to his friends better than any out of the four, watches the lack of interaction in the back of the jeep critically. The subtle flits of his eyes to the rearview mirror is almost imperceptible, but it is more than enough for him to guess just what his friends are so wrongly thinking of each other.

He would laugh at their juvenility if times weren't hard enough and the plight at hand so serious.

"How much longer 'til the next town, Kai?"

"Less than an hour now, Gojyo, if I have gauged correctly. We'll have beds, a roof, and a good meal tonight, don't you worry."

Even this fails to perk Goku's mood.

"So…uhh…how long we waitin' before trying again?" Gojyo asks, knowing the awkwardness of his words make the statement even harder to swallow this early after failure.

No one responds.

"Sounded like the chimp in the dreamworld had too much time between tries, if ya ask me. I'd say we should keep at it 'til something gives. Don't you think, Goku?" Emphasizing his backing of the issue by using Goku's name rather than 'monkey' or 'squirt' is quite the offering of affection on Gojyo's part, and he dearly hopes it is enough to at least capture a hint of the boy's attention.

Goku does indeed stir at this, his head lifting from having been curled closer to the door rather than towards the center of the seat and Sanzo. He doesn't even try to smile, but he nods resolutely, "I don't wanna waste any time," he says, his voice a little hoarse from not having spoken until now. "We're getting closer to the west everyday. I want…I want to be ready."

There is a frustrated grunt from Sanzo and violet turns to meet gold across the space separating them, "This is not a make or break the mission task, idiot. Stop looking at it that way," the monk commands, arms crossed as stiffly as his tight and rigid position. "We'll try again, as soon as you want, fine. But if nothing comes if it, that's the end. We can try a hundred times, but if we reach west and you're still wearing that thing, we're done with this, you understand? It _doesn't matter_."

"Of course it matters!" Goku is practically on his feet, uncurled like a flap of parchment about to be read, tense and crisp and alert. He looks at Sanzo with all the strength left in him. "It doesn't matter for the mission, we can still get by without it for the mission, okay, I'll buy that. But it matters for _me_, Sanzo. I want this. I don't wanna be dependent on a fucking headband all my life! I'm not that weak! I'm not!" Tears at the ready, filling Goku's eyes with shimmers, he struggles to hold them back, seeing it as the last sign of weakness, the last sign Sanzo would need to believe he really is weak.

But Sanzo surprises him. I know you're not weak, the blonde's eyes seem to say, even though the words never come. The tenderness in him cannot always come through as he might wish, but it exists there in his eyes, telling Goku all that should be necessary.

Goku sees and understands Sanzo's look, the sorrow there as well as the confidence in Goku's ability to succeed, but it is still not enough somehow. It is enough to quell his fears of weakness in the monk's eyes, enough to let his tears fall freely, but not enough to stop him from seeing himself as weak and hating himself for it.

He has to be stronger than this, he has to, or Sanzo is the one he will hurt.

"I have to do it for you, Sanzo…" The words have barely left before Goku pitches forward, falling easily against Sanzo as the monk instinctively opens his arms to catch him. Goku pushes his forehead against the crossed fabric just above Sanzo's breastplate, feeling the smallest bit of skin at the spot where the 'V' in the robe is made. "I _will_ do it," he swears, "I'll beat him for you, Sanzo. I promise I will…"

"Idiot…" Sanzo whispers, the word holding an affectionate lilt more than it ever did in years past.

Ignoring that there are others in the jeep—as he always must whenever such moments come up—Sanzo holds Goku in place, angry for letting this get the better of them both and for feeling so helpless. Angry for getting angry and for being so stubborn, as he always is.

This should be easier. He and Goku are not supposed to seclude themselves in their own little corners of the jeep; they're supposed to be able to talk, to overcome anything and everything together.

Sanzo shakes his head, surprised at his own romanticism. Of course he knew this wouldn't be easy. It has to be complicated because giving in this way makes things complicated. And as much as Sanzo hates it…he cannot deny the warmth it has brought him, even over just a short span of time. He finds himself hugging Goku closer just to feel more of that warmth against him.

"If this is for _you_ then do it for you. Not for me," he scolds, though his tone betrays the tenderness present even against his will. "If you're doing it for me then I say we stop the whole mess right now, because I don't care about you beating this one way or the other. It's just one part of you that's annoying. Having dealt with more parts than I can count, _one_ is sure as hell not going to drive me away."

"I know that. I'm not stupid," Goku sniffles, head turned just enough so that if his eyes were open he would be looking at the seat rather than up front at the two friends he wishes weren't as close as they are. "I'm not worried about driving you away, Sanzo. I…I just…I know you don't want to…have to…hurt me, and…if something happens and…_he_ takes over, and…and…"

"Goku."

A flood of relief fills Sanzo and he is internally praising Hakkai's ability to say one word, even just a person's name, and have it be infused with more comfort than the monk could ever come up with in a hundred hurried phrases.

"Just the same as with Gojyo and myself, I am sure Sanzo wants nothing more than your happiness," the healer continues, eyes seeming to never once leave the road, though Sanzo would swear he catches flashes of emerald several times, "If what you seek can be attained, we will all be happy for it because it will ease your mind and make _you_ happy. If not…then we will be content with how you are."

Goku shakes his head, digging further into Sanzo's chest, still turned away from the pair up front. "But…but what if--"

"Enough, Goku," Sanzo says sternly, squeezing the boy with more force than before, and frustrated enough to speak again even if what he says is not what Goku needs to hear, "Why do you have to make everything so difficult? I am not going to hate you for failing at this."

This final line keeps Goku silent for a long time, the words sinking in deeply for the monkey, deeper than anything Sanzo has said on the matter, because it is indeed a fear he has.

Finally, Goku lifts his eyes, glittering with the tears that are finally stilling.

"You won't hate me…even if I make you kill me?" he whispers, all his shattered attention focused solely on Sanzo. "Even if I'm…Koumyou all over again…?"

Sanzo's throat closes in on itself and for a moment he wonders if he might indeed choke.

The monk's own words are being thrown right back at him, used as a question he should have a more ready answer for…but doesn't. He does not know how to address this. He begged, he pleaded, he warned Goku that he could not bear to have something like what happened with Koumyou happen again. To have this question asked…how can he respond? Does he even have a response to give…?

Pulling away from his keeper, the look on Goku's face clearly says he believes he has been given an answer. "That's why I have to do it for _you_, Sanzo…because it'll be for me too."

Forgotten or not, Sanzo can feel crimson and emerald through the mirror, reflecting back on him with more heat, more intensity than if the pair up front were turned around. He knows they are both silently telling him that he had damn well better say something more, but even while he knows that himself, no words are coming. They aren't in him to speak.

"It's okay, Sanzo," Goku says, not showing his hurt, though the pain must surely be there. His eyes remain steady though, with his tears at last dried completely. "I _will_ do it. I'll win, Sanzo. I promise."

-----

"So tell me. Do _you_ wanna hit the monk as much as I do right now, coz somehow I doubt it."

Hakkai, washing his hands in the restaurant's bathroom sink beside Gojyo, merely shakes his head. This is the first time they have had alone since the discussion in the jeep an hour earlier. "Gojyo, as much as I sympathize with Goku, and as frustrating as recent events may be…"

"It just makes you wanna hit him more. Right?"

Hakkai refrains from commenting.

"Knew it." Gojyo chuckles, following his companion towards the bathroom door.

Hakkai hides a rather devious smile. "I think it would be best if I refrained from hitting Sanzo twice in two weeks."

Gojyo chuckles again, "Yeah…" before his crimson eyes are suddenly thrown wide, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. _Twice_? As in you hit him once _before_ in the past two weeks?"

Reaching out to push the bathroom door open, Hakkai again refrains from commenting.

"In the dreamworld?"

Still nothing.

"You sly little…and you didn't even share!" Gojyo says with mock indignation. "Hitting Sanzo is share worthy material, Kai. Topnotch kind, for crying out loud."

Hakkai's devious smile remains, but he keeps himself a step or two ahead of Gojyo in order to keep the brunt of it to himself. "Gojyo, if you would please contain yourself as we approach the table."

"Oh, I could have so much fun with this…"

"Gojyo."

"But I won't."

"I should think not."

"But I _could_."

Hakkai sighs. He turns to give Gojyo one final look of dire warning before hurrying ahead to rejoin Sanzo and Goku at their table.

Thankfully, Gojyo does not bring up any mention of Hakkai hitting—or slapping—one Genjou Sanzo, despite the incredible allure to do so. Hakkai is thankful. Gojyo, of course, makes a number of perfectly innocent comments about how Hakkai might show said gratitude later, which Hakkai naturally laughs off.

But when the ikkou arrives at their chosen inn for the night and the establishment proves to have only two rooms available, Gojyo feels supremely foolish. He would not have joked if he had known such dangerous comments would be coupled with the truth of having to share a bed.

"Oh, don't worry. Only one of the rooms has a double bed. The other has two singles." Saying this with a bright smile, the hostess is apparently oblivious to the fact that one pair of young men will still have to share a bed.

Gojyo tries not to look devious.

Hakkia tries not to look nervous.

Sanzo tries not to look anywhere.

Leaving Goku…to raise his hand excitedly into the air and proclaim, "Thanks, Miss, we'll be fine. Sanzo and I can take the double bed," Upon which he whisks the key for the double-bed room out of the hostess' hand, grabs his pack, and says with a grin over his shoulder, "Come on, Sanzo, I'm exhausted."

The only thought Sanzo can successfully form is one praying that Goku means those last words more than the boy's look let on. He turns a glare on Hakkai and Gojyo as he passes them, as if the other pair could have done something to prevent this.

Gojyo just grins, while Hakkai, trying to look impassive, smiles warmly and offers a goodnight. Both are still fantasizing about decking the blonde into next week.

Hakkai—once he can get the blonde alone—plans to have another long chat with Sanzo, this time about what _should_ have been the response to Goku's quarry.

As for Gojyo, he keeps himself busy mulling over the strange little glint he had seen in Goku's eyes, especially since the monkey has every right to be angry at Sanzo right now. Knowing Goku though, nothing could get the boy to look negatively on Sanzo. Still, the monk's lack of response to such a question, a question of 'will you hate me if a repeat the past for you,' should be pretty damn near unforgivable as far as Gojyo is concerned.

It makes that glint he had seen bother him even more, especially if Goku is looking to replace what he isn't getting emotionally with something a little too physical.

After Hakkai has taken the key for his and Gojyo's room and thanked the hostess, Gojyo pulls him aside. "So…you think those two have already had a go, or is the monkey just frisky to try things the first time?"

Having tried not to think about this as Gojyo has, Hakkai most definitely refrains from commenting this time.

tbc...

A/N: My frustration for getting this chapter up cannot be weighed. I humbly ask your forgiveness for taking so long on this part, which I don't even think is all that impressive, but here it is. I have been ill and busy and...consumed by WOW, World of Warcraft for those who don't know. Also, I have...roommates now. I love them. I do. But peace and quiet does not mean to them what it means to me and I need silence to write. Hopefully, things will get better. Much love, let me know if this sucked or not because my confidence is a bit shot tonight.

Crim

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	4. Knowing Just What NOT to Say

Knowing Just What NOT to Say

* * *

The thought that he has made a very large mistake keeps running through Kougaiji's head, but he refuses to take back his decision. At least for now. The Sanzo party's proposal might be sincere, but there are still dangers to consider. Kougaiji cannot trust anyone in the castle but his own men and women. Anyone else could be under the thumb of his stepmother, or worse yet, under Nii.

The term 'speak of the devil' has never been quite so appropriate.

"And how is the good prince?"

Kougaiji comes to a quick stop, not having registered the doctor's presence. He turns his head just slightly to the right and sees Nii leaning only too casually inside a doorframe. The man's stuffed bunny has its usual place under his arm, and the common smirk Kougaiji will never trust graces the malicious face.

"Running errands, were you, dear _Prince_?" Nii asks with a slight tilt of his head. His voice is knowing—too knowing, "I was not aware our Lady had sent you out."

"Where I go is not your concern," Kougaiji barks back, "_Our Lady_ has instructed me to continue my search until we have all five sutras in our possession. That does require leaving the castle on occasion."

"And you do so want to see your own mother free."

Kougaiji tenses, the tendons in his neck becoming visibly rigid. His indigo eyes narrow, seering like wisteria fire. "Keep to your section of the castle and stay the hell out of mine," the youkai prince growls, "I don't trust you and I don't like you. I have told you before. You stay away from me and mine, or Lady Gyokumen be damned, you'll be dead on the spot. Understood?"

The smirk never even flickers from Nii's face. He lowers his dark eyes, a soft chuckle forming, and raises his bunny from beneath his arm to speak on his behalf. "Do be careful, little prince," says the bunny, in a tauntingly high and childish voice, "While you are off plotting one never knows what might happen to…you and yours." The bunny is lowered, Nii's own voice speaking over the top of the stuffed animal's head. "And try to remember just who it is you will need when the time comes to revive your mother. I may be disinclined to offer my assistance should the day ever arrive. Hahaha. Though I am certain we can work something out."

Kougaiji tries very hard to ignore the leer Nii sends his way before departing. He swallows back a shudder. He will never give into that man, regardless of the price. He will revive his mother however necessary. Perhaps the perfect way to do so without requiring the doctor was already suggested to him earlier in the day.

There are still too many questions and concerns, Kougaiji reasons. He turns the final corner towards his chambers where his three companions are surely awaiting his return. He will seek counsel with them before deciding anything further. Part of him already has some idea what they will say, but even the most proud of men sometimes want nothing more than to be convinced.

-----

"It creeps me out, man," Gojyo says, turned towards the wall as he undresses for bed, "Sanzo and Goku being all…naked and…yuck. I better not finish that thought without clear sights on the bathroom." Gojyo flips his shirt off over his head, disrupting his headband. He pulls the cloth off the rest of the way and tosses it down by his pack. With a great shake of his now slightly mused locks, he turns around to face Hakkai, who still has his back to him.

Hakkai laughs, his head moving amusedly from side to side. He is already dressed for bed, carefully folding his tunic to lay neatly with the rest of his clothing. "Assuming is a very dangerous thing, Gojyo. There is no reason to believe Sanzo and Goku are being…anything of the sort. For all we know Goku could be sleeping on the floor tonight."

"Heh," Gojyo scoffs, raising an eyebrow at his friend even while the brunette is still tidying his pack, "With the looks they've been giving each other and all that…cutesy shit Sanzo's allowing, there's no way the monk's not getting some. He'd never allow crap like that unless--"

"He was in love?" Hakkai supplies, peering over his shoulder to smile innocently, though the expression misses his eyes somewhere along the way.

Gojyo chokes out a laugh, "Yeah. Love. Right," the hanyou says, "Look, I hate to have to break it to you, but chances are a good fuck is the only thing powerful enough to get Buddha-boy acting _nice_. Newsflash: love and lust are not the same thing."

"And when has Sanzo ever given over to things such as lust?"

"Don't even try to pull that shit with me," Gojyo replies. Tired of watching his friend's turned back, he moves to sit on one of the beds and get a better view of the healer from the side. He prefers having at least half a face to look at when talking to someone. "I never would have thought of _you_ as the lustful type, either, and that's sure been shot to hell."

Hakkai pauses in his tidying, slowing straightening from his hunched position and turning just so to better address the redhead. He raises both eyebrows, his expression looking the kind of polite and dangerous combination that only he can master. "And what, dear friend, has given you the impression that I am in any way lustful?"

Normally, Gojyo would be a little frightened of this particular look from his friend, but due to the subject—one of his favorites—he is willing to gamble a little more than usual. "An impression from you? Not a thing," he says, pausing just long enough to draw his audience in a little further, "Impressions from _Gonou_, however…"

Hakkai's folded clothes are forgotten. Hakuryuu uses this to his advantage, moving to make a little nest on top of the tunic his master recently folded. Even this deviant behavior goes unnoticed with Hakkai's attention focused so intently elsewhere.

Walking with very purposeful steps towards his companion on the bed, Hakkai's face washes over like a blank slate, devoid of any clear expression. He stops just in front of Gojyo, but though the redhead knows this countenance in his friend is often quite dangerous, he makes no move to mend his recent words. Instead, Gojyo leans back on the bed, resting on his elbows so that the muscles in his stomach tighten and add a few more layers of sinuous tone.

As a final bit of icing on the cake—or perhaps the last stroke to his death warrant—Gojyo sends Hakkai a wink. A come-hither wink. An 'I-know-just-how-to-play-you-and-I'm-going-to-do-it-till-you-crack' wink.

Hakkai stands resolute, a wall of willpower. "Gojyo…"

"Yeah, baby?"

Hakkai ignores the recently adopted pet-name. "Contrary to what you may think…I do not find any of this behavior cute."

"Course you don't."

"Even if the Gonou you saw was similar to the Gonou I once was—which he wasn't—I am no longer Cho Gonou."

"Nope. That you are not."

Hakkai takes a breath, fully aware that Gojyo is mocking him. "Cho Hakkai is not the Gonou from the dreamworld, either. Not even remotely."

"Uh huh."

"_Gojyo_."

"Yeah, baby?"

Hakkai holds back a huff. Such a thing would be far too childish. "You are trying my patience, Gojyo. I am merely explaining to you some things you need to understand before we continue as we have been. I am not Cho Gonou in any form, and I am certainly not the sort of sexual…deviant that dreamworld version appeared to be. It is important you understand this."

Gojyo nods as if taking to heart every word Hakkai has said. But his eyes betray him. "Oh, I understand. The mother-hen of the group is all shop, no fun, and certainly never gets a _boner_ over…trivial matters," he says, speaking more condescendingly than he would usually ever allow, especially when addressing Hakkai. His next words are the biggest gamble, but he figures…what the hell. "I'm sure that hard-on I helped out a while back was just a freak occurrence."

For a brief moment Hakkai's growing anger is overshadowed by a raging blush, his pale cheeks turning nearly crimson. But despite the tell-tale hews that remain, anger is quickly found again. "Gojyo…" he says warningly, no longer amused on even the smallest level, "the circumstances surrounding that incident were entirely unique. As you said, seeing someone who looks so much like oneself being…pleasured…is a hard thing to ignore. I highly doubt I will ever again have such an opportunity."

Red eyes flick momentarily towards the dresser on the other side of the room. "We got a mirror."

"Gojyo!"

A burst of laughter erupts from the kappa, signaling just how much Gojyo had been holding back. The scowl and near-murderous intent on Hakkai's face has the redhead sitting up quickly and reaching to gently take his friend's arm. Hoping to appease him, Gojyo pulls Hakkai into a sitting position beside him. Hakkai complies, but his sour disposition remains. This is not a matter to be laughed at.

Still, there is laughter in Gojyo's eyes even as he quiets the exclamation of it. Never before has he had the opportunity to tease Hakkai quite like this. The prospect and the truth behind some of his jokes are just far too appealing.

"Listen…I'm not trying to make you mad, I just…I don't want you thinking you have to be this stiff, asexual, ridiculously gentlemanly gentleman around me." Gojyo pulls Hakkai's hand, still clasped in his own, to rest in his own lap. Idly, he strokes the soft skin, keeping green locked on crimson as he speaks. "You're a great guy, a sweet guy, and I love that about you. But I know there's a wild streak in you somewhere and there is no reason for you to hold it back. If you want to be lustful, you won't hear any complaints from me."

Another blush rises to Hakkai's cheeks. Already his risen anger is beginning to wane as he listens to Gojyo.

"If you wanna keep things to little kisses and sweet nothings…that's fine too," Gojyo says, a little softer. He lifts Hakkai's hand from his lap to his lips and kisses the back of the brunette's fingers. When Hakkai shudders, he has to try very hard to hold back a smirk. "But…if you wanna…move on…" Gojyo continues, the heat from his eyes intensifying as he stares full on back at Hakkai, "You being a raging sexpot would not turn me off. It would not have me thinking less of you. And it would not be a sign of weakness, either. I know it's not a contest, but…if the monk and monkey can get it on--"

"Gojyo…there is no reason to believe--"

Gojyo gives Hakkai a knowing look.

Hakkai pauses.

Thinking back to the way the other pair has been acting lately, especially in relation to Goku, Hakkai questions just how much he believes his own argument. He hates to concede, but Gojyo does have a point.

"Fine, perhaps they have progressed." The brunette admits, "But I know both of us believe it could be a very hazardous mistake if they do not work out certain issues before turning intimate."

Gojyo rolls his eyes.

"The same could be said for us."

Gojyo's eyes narrow.

"I am only saying what I feel, Gojyo. Please…I don't feel comfortable--"

"What, being _yourself_." Gojyo snaps, Sanzo and Goku forgotten in favor of addressing the more personal issue of himself and his dear best friend. He releases Hakkai's hand, managing to pull his body far enough away, even without truly moving, to put a few hundred metaphysical yards between them. "It's the same as with those damn limiters," Gojyo says, "You'll do anything to keep the rest of us from seeing _you_."

Gojyo's quick temper is noteworthy and really shouldn't surprise Hakkai, but the kappa's eagerness to address issues they once danced around is still a little shocking. Hakkai keeps his expression stern. "You as well as the others know that my limiters are as little of a choice as Goku's are for him. Without them…I could kill you."

"But you didn't. Remember. Three years ago. That fucking mess I got myself into with Banri. You took your limiters off to save me. And you did."

"Because I was quick. Because I was smart. I kept you out of my sights the entire time, Gojyo, and put the limiters back the moment the enemy was destroyed."

"Goku said you took them off in front of him."

"Yes, and I kept him at my back, out of sight, just the same as with you."

Gojyo almost screams. "It's still twice you've taken them off on this journey. Twice, Hakkai. Willingly. To me that says you have to be at least a little more confident in your control."

"I'm not in control!" Hakkai yells, eyes wide and face pale the second the declaration has left him. He stands, his pulse running away on him as he tries to back away from his friend with some sense of dignity. He cannot look at Gojyo, not with the kappa staring at him with something too close to sympathy. "I…I only meant…I don't…I don't want to risk…"

"Hakkai…"

Hakkai closes his eyes, fists clenching at his sides in anger at himself. He feels the presence of Gojyo's approach, the kappa standing and stepping closer. He gasps when he feels a warm hand touch the bare skin between his shoulder and neck, and for the first time he wishes his bed-shirt had a higher collar for how the contact makes him tremble.

"Hakkai…take a breath, huh? I didn't mean to get into all this. Hell…I was just curious about the stupid chimp and shitty priest. And…and I know I'm being a real dick here, but…but I worry sometimes…that even after all these years…maybe you've kept your real self hidden so well…I don't know you at all."

Emerald eyes spring open. "Gojyo, please don't think such a thing! I have always done my best to be honest with you. You more than anyone." The healer says earnestly, his eyes finding a harbor in crimson. The small contact of eyes and lingering skin with Gojyo's hand on his shoulder doesn't seem quite so unwanted. "Maybe…maybe I am afraid. Of the monster. Of the things he can do. And before him…of the things Gonou _did_. I never want to be like that again. To kill so…indiscriminately…in the name of vengeance. Killing anyone in my path, even those who stood no chance. Even…innocents. Children…" Hakkai's voice becomes a whisper, his wide eyes glossy and red, though no tears fall. Although he seems to be looking back at Gojyo, his gaze is distant now, lost somewhere in the past.

Gojyo feels a wave of guilt and reproach for how he has pushed. He too feels suddenly distant, having never heard Hakkai speak of the deeds Gonou committed other than to say it happened, that he killed, and that he did it for Kanan. Hakkai has never mentioned killing those who may not have deserved death. He has never mentioned children.

Gojyo wishes Hakkai would get angry again and hit him. Right now he feels he deserves nothing less.

"I don't want you thinking you need to hide from me," Gojyo says softly, squeezing Hakkai's shoulder through his grip and recapturing his friend's attention. "I didn't mean to bring up any of this shit. I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot."

Brought out of his brooding reverie, Hakkai finds it is only too easy to smile, a genuine smile. It is him this time who reaches out, touching Gojyo's face and smoothing his thumb along the twin scars. "I'm the one being a fool, getting caught up in such things. I don't mean to worry you, Gojyo. I do hide, and I shouldn't be so dependant on it. You have said only too often how much my smile upsets you when it is forced. I assure you, this one is real. You are so good to me…I…I should be more open."

"You don't…have to practice with your limiters if you don't want. I…I just--"

"You make a good case. I should have no reason to be afraid. And I have long ago grown up enough to realize…a hatred for youkai is foolish and selfish. After all, there are plenty of youkai I consider worthy of attention and friendship. Such as Miss Yaone."

Gojyo grins. "And Dokugaku."

Hakkai's smile flickers. "I have my own problems with your brother."

Gojyo's grin falls. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I simply have a few issues with a man who could leave an 8-year-old to fend for himself."

Tonight seems to be designated for comments neither have dared make before. Gojyo pulls just enough away to force Hakkai's hand to fall from his face. "Hey…I probably deserve a few shots after bringing up all that mess for you, but…you weren't there. I don't blame Jien for a damn thing. He saved my life. He felt he had to leave after that and it was tough for me, fine. But he was young too. It couldn't have been easy…killing his own Mom…"

Hakkai's heart wrenches like being twisted in half. The pain on Gojyo's face admonishes him more than the color red ever could. "Gojyo…forgive me. I didn't mean to upset you," he mends, stepping forward to reconnect and lift a hand this time to grip Gojyo's arm. "Perhaps there are things about one another we know too little about. With such a long journey yet ahead of us, we could use it to better understand each other rather than bicker. I would certainly be honored to know anything about you I have yet to learn. If you so desire."

Gojyo's grin returns easily. Though they may travel down a rougher path at times, things always seem to end up right where Gojyo originally intended them to go.

"Also…if it would ease your mind, and I know it would probably ease mine as well, I could consider…perhaps…testing my control without these cuffs."

The grin on the kappa's face falters the tiniest bit, half of him very dearly wanting to stretch it wider. Gojyo reaches out, gripping Hakkai's free arm just as Hakkai has a hold on him. "Don't do it just for me. Do it coz it's important to you. I just…think it might make things easier if you're not worried over those things, ya know?"

"Yes. I know."

"So…as far as tonight goes…you wanna further the fun stuff or…stick to this emotional crap."

"Gojyo…"

"Kisses and sweet nothings, right? So…does that mean we're starting with Gonou, the early years?"

Hakkai laughs lightly, taking a few steps closer to Gojyo and moving both hands to reach up and take hold of Gojyo's grinning face. "You know…I think I felt more comfortable when you were propositioning me for sex." He leans forwards, stealing a quick kiss.

Gojyo's grin takes over the rest of his face. He grabs Hakkai around the waste and pulls the brunette closer. "Well…in that case, Mr. I'm-never-lustful…"

Remarkably fast, Hakkai releases Gojyo, pulls away, and is sitting back down on the edge of the bed. He pats the space next to him. "Early years, was it?" he says with a slight smirk.

Gojyo laughs. He would protest if he didn't find everything about Hakkai, especially his light teasing, incredibly adorable, loveable, and just plain perfect. Before long he sits himself down and both young men forget all about their companions, along with any possible concerns regarding the dear monk and monkey next door.

-----

Sanzo can honestly not remember the last time he felt so tense. For someone who for most of his life has been nothing but a bundle of on-edge nerves, this is saying quite a lot. He recognizes that and right now it is really pissing him off.

"Man, I feel like I'm still making up for that whole 'not hungry in the dreamworld' thing. I'm _always_ hungry now." Goku says, munching on the last of a pack of meatbuns Sanzo willingly purchased for him earlier. "It sucks. I keep thinking something will happen to put us back in the dream. I wouldn't be able to eat again! It's way too scary. So I keep eating just in case. I can't stop thinking about it."

Good, Sanzo thinks. Maybe the monkey will be so distracted, he won't think about any other types of hunger.

This thought has several new tendons stretching taut in Sanzo's neck. Since retiring to their room he has been sitting by the window, robes up rather than down just to be safe, and to keep things as seemingly normal as possible he is smoking.

Goku does not seem to understand this concept of normal. He has been talking non-stop, moving about the room and switching topics fast enough to have Sanzo very nervous. Sure the monkey has been a lot more open since the fear of being hit or yelled at has at least been marginally reduced, but this is ridiculous. Sanzo can tangibly feel that Goku is up to something, and whenever his eyes drift to the solo, large bed, he gets a pretty clear image of what that something might be. And it is not helping his nerves.

Especially when Goku is taking his sweet time licking each of his fingers of the last few traces of meatbun. Taking his time while looking at Sanzo with that same strange sparkle in his eyes that seems to be saying very inappropriate things without even using words.

"If you don't knock that off right now…I'm shooting you."

Goku pulls the last of his fingers from his mouth with a small smacking sound that very much resembles the sounds of meeting lips. He tilts his head, playing innocent. "What's up, Sanzo?" he asks, his gold eyes glittering, "If nothing's up…I'm sure we can think of a way to change that."

"Knock it off."

"Knock what off?"

"These damn tactics to seduce me. You're annoying and I'm not interested."

A shadow crosses Goku's face. Sanzo almost doesn't notice, but the slight darkness to Goku's smile, how the smile seems to be entirely missing his eyes, is only too easy to spot. "You were interested once." Goku replies, "And until today you were pretty gung-ho about a lot of things. Like kissing. Getting close. Getting _real_ close." Too accentuate his words, Goku moves closer to the window. He stops when only a few inches separate him from his keeper. His smile twitches. "Gee, Sanzo…I wonder what changed. Coz the only thing I can think of…has to do with this fucking crown on my head!"

Sanzo flinches at Goku's outburst, something the chimp accompanies with a mighty kick at the wall that just barely misses Sanzo's legs. "What the hell is wrong with you," the monk growls, putting out his cigarette on the window ledge. He leaves it there and turns to face the unpredictable monkey before any other near-misses occur. "You want to hit me? Aim better next time."

"Shut up, Sanzo," Goku snaps, retuning every bit of the monk's glare with all his recently acquired confidence—confidence Sanzo is starting to hate. "I'm not stupid, ya know. Everything was fine before we tried practicing. And now…you won't even…look at me."

"I'm looking right at you, idiot."

A corner of Goku's mouth twitches as if he might sneer. His voice is softer when he speaks again. "Are you?" he asks.

Sanzo feels his walls crumbling. They never quite fell before, not even when Goku found his way into Sanzo's heart, but the monk has tried his best to install a door for a select few. When Goku looks at him with all that pain, hurt emotions directed at him _because_ of him for the first time, those walls feel like they might crumble after all.

And if they do, Sanzo fears he might crumble with them.

"Stop it…" the monk says, his voice a forced whisper. All he can see is gold with Goku standing so close. Pained gold. Angry gold. "First, it hasn't even been an entire day since we took off your limiter. If you think I'm going to fawn all over you every second of everyday, you fell in love with the wrong man."

This admission keeps Goku from throwing out a comeback. Love hasn't really been something they have discussed since returning from the dreamworld. They haven't really talked about anything. They have simply existed, trying to be more comfortable in each other's presence. Trying to get used to being closer.

Hearing Sanzo mention love has Goku rethinking his outburst. He is still upset, believing his fears to be justified, but he does not yet speak again, waiting to hear what else Sanzo might say.

"Second, it is not because of you I've been acting strange. It's because of me." Sanzo continues, his violet eyes narrowed and intense, though honestly more angry at the situation and his own feelings than at the boy before him. "I failed you. I blew up and got angry. Not because I see you differently. Because I hate _him_. I hate how much he hurts you. I could care less if he hurts me or those other two idiots, but I see it on your face every time how much it hurts you to know the things he's done. So shut up about things you don't know. I'm angry because I fucked up dealing with him, because I lost control. I should never be the cause of your pain…" Sanzo's voice fades, barely loud enough for Goku to hear the end. "…I've been that long enough."

Any trace of anger has faded from Goku. Even being more intimate and kind has not gotten Sanzo to open up this much before. Goku feels he might cry. "Sanzo…" he whispers.

But Sanzo shakes his head, not yet finished. The monk reaches out too quickly for Goku to counter and grabs the boy by the arm, pulling him closer. "And third…I was a complete asshole for not saying anything when you asked if I'd hate you." He says, his voice low but clear and honest. "I've tried to hate you, you're so fucking annoying. But I can't. As much of a fool as _you_ are, I'm worse, because _I_ love you back."

A pair of silent tears race each other down Goku's cheeks, reaching his chin together where they meet just before falling to land on Sanzo's thigh. Goku hadn't realized how close Sanzo had pulled him, but with all the different hews of purple he can see in his savior's eyes now, he doesn't think he'd mind drowning in them.

With a large smile forming on his face, Goku dives forward, enveloping Sanzo in a hug almost too tight for the monk to take.

"I love you too, Sanzo…"

Goku pulls out of the hug just as quickly as he started it, scooting up onto Sanzo's lap as much as his balance will allow before going back in for a kiss. Since this is their first kiss in some time, Goku is truly desperate for it, and he seeks out Sanzo's tongue hungrily.

Whatever Sanzo might have been hoping for to quell Goku's other appetites doesn't seem to be coming. Within the kiss, however, Sanzo forgets he is anxious concerning their soon to be shared bed. He kisses his charge back with enthusiasm, apologizing all the more within their liplock as if a little extra passion is his penance for being such a dick.

Goku recognizes the desperation in Sanzo's affection. He pulls away, still somewhat up on the monk's lap. "I really do love you, Sanzo. And if you say you won't hate me…then I'll try not to worry so much. But I still wanna keep trying with the limiter. I want to make it so you never have to worry. I wanna do it for both of us."

Sanzo hesitates at first but seeing the determination in Goku's eyes and the pure intent there has him soon nodding his assent.

"Oh, and in case you haven't noticed you're doing it…" Goku adds, "If you don't stop apologizing for loving me, you're really gonna piss me off."

"What? I haven't been--"

"The way you say it," Goku cuts in, "The way you talk about what's happening between us, you act like it's the worst thing that ever could have happened. I don't like that, okay? I think you and me is a good thing. I think it's a great thing. I…love loving you, and I want you to love loving me. If you don't…then I almost don't want you to love me at all." Goku thinks about that for a moment. "Almost." He says again.

Sanzo allows a small smirk. "I'm easing into this, chimp. Don't push me."

"I know, I know." Goku concedes, grinning. He adjusts his position for better balance on Sanzo's lap, purposely rubbing certain areas of his over certain areas of Sanzo's.

When Sanzo unintentionally gasps, Goku remembers his original intentions for the night and feels even more focused on carrying his plans out than he had before. Goku shifts himself a little more so that his bent knees straighten, allowing his legs to wrap back around Sanzo's waist. The window seat is almost too small to accommodate this bold move, but the feels of Sanzo between his legs has Goku thinking he can make anything work tonight.

Goku gives a small buck with his hips, "Now that we've gotten all the heavy stuff out of the way…" he leers, licking his lips to capture the lingering taste of Sanzo on his tongue. He starts to lean forward again.

"Hey," Sanzo stops him, pulling his lips out of reach. He wants to move but fear that even the slightest shift might brush him and Goku against one another again has him staying still. He isn't entirely sure he could survive another buck like the one Goku just gave him. "I said I wasn't interested. I meant it. You wanna share that bed tonight, you better keep to your own damn side."

Goku holds back from laughing in Sanzo's face. He contemplates giving another buck with his hips, but thinks of something better. Holding Sanzo's gaze, he rolls his hips instead, brushing them very firm and slow against Sanzo. "Bet I can change your mind…"

tbc...

A/N: I know I suck. I'm taking so long now that I have real work keeping me busy. I hate to tell you all this, but it really can only get worse. I will try my best to dedicate part of my Saturdays to writing just for you. You deserve it. You're all wonderful. I like this chapter alot, soI hope you do too. Don't forget to let me know. It brightens my day. Here's to extra time to devote to this story!

Crim


	5. Persuasion Pays Off

Persuasion Pays Off

* * *

Sanzo can feel his resolve weakening as Goku grinds into him again. The small space of the window has his back pressed tight to the wall, his legs dangling from the ledge while Goku remains in his lap. The little monkey's ankles are digging into Sanzo's back as Goku uses them to pull his savior closer to him, as if just the right amount of pressure could fuse them together through their clothes. 

At this point, Sanzo wouldn't be all that surprised if Goku managed that somehow.

He has to think clearly. The last time he allowed such distractions, Goku beat him at this vicious little game, and Genjyou Sanzo does not lose to chimps. "I told you to knock it off," the monk warns, his voice low due to the strain it takes to hold back his lack of breath. He grabs hold of Goku's hips, stilling the boy's movements as best he can. "We already talked about this. _Not yet._ If you're really so desperate for a fuck, go find someone who cares."

"You are so full of shit," Goku replies, grin just as prominent as ever.

The smaller man uses his advantage in strength to move his hips even while Sanzo is trying to stop him. The force of his grinding sends a shock running through both of them and Sanzo releases a long, unbidden moan.

Goku chews his bottom lip to keep from doing the same. "Yeah…I know you like it," He says, his own voice willingly breathy and dim, "You're so sexy, Sanzo…do you know that?" Goku continues his slow, hard grinds, overpowering the monk easily now that the older man seems incapable of action other than helpless staring. "So…sexy. And damn…damn it!" Goku's head tosses back. The contact between him and Sanzo is such a tease, building pressure low in his stomach like hunger never could.

Sanzo is cursing himself for his negligence and inaction, especially when Goku ceases his erotic motions and is scrambling off the blonde's lap to pull him towards the bed. Sanzo remembers then that he is supposed to be strong.

He snatches his arm away from Goku, remaining alone in the window.

"Go to bed. You've had your fun, now leave me alone."

A disbelieving and very predatory grin is his reply. "That was nothing. If you really wanna have some fun…I got plenty of ideas cookin'."

"Are you deaf, monkey? I said no."

Goku reaches out a hand quicker than Sanzo can react. He grabs a handful of the pulsing bulge between the monk's legs and squeezes, impressed that Sanzo's only reaction is to grit his teeth. "You're also as hard as Nyoibou in cold weather," the monkey mocks, "And you're sweating. And your breathing's all funny. And…" he leans closer to Sanzo's face, "I think your eyes are dilating."

"Fuck off!" Sanzo says with a great kick at Goku's knees, freeing him of the boy's dangerous hold and almost sending Goku to the floor. He tries to glare when Goku looks at him, hurt finally finding its way back to the surface to stare at Sanzo with the promise of a coming fight. "I don't want to hear another word of this crap." The monk barks, "You're creeping me out. I told you how I feel about doing this shit. Kissing, napping in the jeep, that's different. The stuff you want? It's--"

"It's exactly what we did a week ago!"

Goku's pain wraps itself protectively in a blanket of justified anger. He steadies his footing, fists clenching, and faces off against his keeper. A few feet may separate them after Sanzo pushed Goku back, but that does nothing to lessen the building tension between them.

Using both hands to gesture emphatically at himself, Goku speaks rapidly, too furious to keep his words from running away with his anger. "I know what you said in the jeep, Sanzo, and it's stupid! We _have_ been together! It felt real, what does it matter if it was just our minds? It doesn't! It doesn't matter! To me…that time…it was more real…than you've ever been with me before. I could…_feel_ you. Every bit of you that you keep hidden. And…and I…I just want to feel that again…"

Even now that Goku is trailing off the monk can only stare, body trembling just enough to be noticeable. Goku doesn't understand, the monk reasons. He doesn't know how…scary all of this is.

"If you're scared, Sanzo…"

Sanzo snaps to attention, shaken by Goku's ability to always read into his thoughts.

"I…I get it. I do. I mean…our real bodies…maybe it'll be different. But that doesn't mean it has to be scary. I'll be real careful, Sanzo. I'm prepared this time."

"Prepared…?"

In sheer amazement Sanzo watches Goku casually walk over to his pack. After careful rummaging the small brunette eventually produces what looks to be a palm-sized tube. Even if Sanzo couldn't make out the label it would not be very difficult to figure out what his charge is holding.

"Where did you get that?" Sanzo almost doesn't want to ask.

Goku shrugs. "Well…I figured we might…need it, so…I picked some up in that bigger town we passed a few days ago."

Sanzo's trembling threatens to rise up, but his indignation at this development forces them back. He takes a few moments to breathe, slowly, before speaking again. "You…picked some up."

"Yeah. I keep a little money for myself, ya know. So…when Gojyo and Hakkai were getting supplies, I…kinda snuck away for a bit. They thought I was going to grab some meatbuns. Coming back without any didn't look all that suspicious."

No, it wouldn't, Sanzo thinks. The little monkey can down a whole plateful of meatbuns before the waiter has even set the dish down. Still, the monk indulges in some internal relief that Goku was at least smart enough to be discrete. How things may have played out in whatever store Goku found the small tube…that Sanzo can only imagine.

"It's okay, Sanzo," Goku says, taking a few steps closer to the blonde and trying to smile reassuringly despite the strain left in the wake of his anger, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'll be real careful, I swear."

A few latently triggered impulsive snap into place in Sanzo's head. "You arrogant little shit." Two strides bring him nose to nose with Goku. Sanzo reaches out, grabbing his charge by the wrist attached to the hand that is still clutching the tube. He squeezes hard, hoping to force the tube to fall to the floor, but Goku does not let go. "I'm not your fuck-toy." Sanzo growls, "Whatever's between us, it's about us, not for you to bend me over whenever it suits you."

"Damn it, Sanzo, I didn't say any of that!" Goku protests, "All I did was buy one tube of--"

"Don't even try to play innocent, monkey. You bought that expecting something. Even you can't deny that."

Goku remains silent, lip trembling in his frustration at having nothing to respond with.

"I said I wasn't going to jump into bed with you."

"But--"

"And I'm not. Sex complicates things. I think our lives are complicated enough right now."

Goku rips his wrist out of Sanzo's grasp so fast it almost appears he might strike out, but instead his arms merely cross tightly while a pout plays along his lips. "But we've already done it." He says, "No matter what you say, you can't change that. So…so…if you really hated being with me so much, why don't you just say it instead of telling me to wait for something I've already had."

Sanzo is too stunned to speak.

Goku's eyes begin to water, believing Sanzo's silence to mean confirmation. "Then…then go fuck yourself if you don't want me!" Goku yells, winding his arm back before hurling the small tube with impressive force at Sanzo's head. The monk barely moves to the side in time to avoid it. "Bastard…" Goku adds before stumbling away and turning for the door.

A quick grip takes hold of the boy's arm before he can leave and the room spins as he is turned back to face his savior, pulled in close with the force of Sanzo's tug.

This action on Sanzo's part was almost entirely unconscious, making him equally surprised when his and Goku's eyes meet. Sanzo regains himself quickly, though, his features softening. He does not mean to say all the wrong things, or even more often to refrain from saying what he should, and yet again and again he disappoints himself by being the very bastard Goku is screaming about.

Releasing Goku's arm, Sanzo allows his own to fall to his sides. He remains close, his and Goku's bodies just out of contact. Looking deep into gold, he drops as many of his shields as he knows exist. "I never said I hated being with you," he says, that new tenderness winding its way into his words, "I could have stopped it, but I didn't. That time…it wasn't…bad."

Goku opens his mouth to speak.

"But…" Sanzo continues quickly, "That only makes it worse. Worse because it was…too good. Too easy. I'm sure I don't even want to know why you knew how to handle the situation," he says with a slight sneer, "But even with that…"

Goku shakes his head, halting Sanzo's next words. Anger stilled, Goku reaches out, grabbing Sanzo by the front of his robes with a gentleness he has never gripped them with before. "Listen to me, Sanzo. You're talking about fear. You're afraid, just like I was saying. But you don't have to be. I won't hurt you. I know what I'm doing."

Sanzo motions to speak.

"And if you really want to know why I know what to do, it's not coz I've been screwing around. I've just been doing…research."

This sends Sanzo's mind to very unpleasant places. "Research?" he asks, pulling back enough to strain the grip Goku has on his robes.

Goku blushes faintly. "It wasn't…hands-on experience, so don't even think that," the monkey assures his keeper, "I just…looked up stuff. You know…in books, when the rest of you weren't paying attention to me. And…once in awhile…I'd…ask about stuff too."

"Ask who? The cockroach?" Sanzo asks with a glare at the door.

"Eww, no way!" Goku retorts, "Can you imagine how _he_ would've acted if I'd asked him about sex between guys? He'd have blurted it out to everyone! I asked other people."

Goku's answers are not nearly satisfactory for Sanzo. "What people?"

"Just…people! Does it really matter?"

"It does if one of those people was a fucking arrogant demigod."

"…what?"

Sanzo guesses by the look on Goku's face the monkey isn't entirely sure what 'demigod' means. Goku isn't stupid, but when it comes to things he doesn't have an interest in he usually refrain from learning about them.

Being rather quick-witted, however, Goku quickly figures out who Sanzo is referring to anyway. "Not more stuff about Homura," he says in exasperation. Tightening his grip on Sanzo's robes, he tugs the blonde as close as he can without coming to any true contact. "No, I didn't ask Homura about sex. And no, I didn't sleep with him. I haven't slept with anyone other than you. And the people I asked…were just people at…those kind of stores, okay? Do you have to make me say this stuff, geesh."

Although Goku does not loosen his grip, he glances away as a deeper shade of red flushes to his cheeks. All in all the expression is ridiculously adorable, and the whole combination of Goku's blushing and the things he has just said have Sanzo laughing before he can stop himself.

Now, it is not at all uncommon for Sanzo to laugh, only uncommon for him to laugh when it is not sardonic and at another's expense. This time his laughter is wholly genuine.

With gold eyes glittering like twin suns, Goku looks up, positively struck dumb by the expression of honest amusement on Sanzo's face. The monk tries to cover it up by forcing a blank expression, but the damage has been done. Goku has seen his in, and he is not going to miss out on it.

Before Sanzo can think to move away or continue his protests, one of Goku's hands slithers down the front of his robes and grips once again between the monk's legs. "You know, Sanzo…in the end…I think you are just afraid. But you don't have to be." Goku presses the heel of his palm into the base of Sanzo's still half-formed erection. "And if there's nothing to be afraid of…what are we fighting about?"

Sanzo tries to glare down into the confidence filling Goku's eyes, but the moment his own eyes meet gold, he knows he is already beat. "Damn…stupid…" He lets out a long sigh when Goku presses with the heel of his palm again. Sanzo's eyes close of their accord. "Shit…" the monk gasps, "You…I…god damn it…" Sanzo shoots out an arm, grabbing the back of the monkey's neck so fast it has Goku momentarily frozen. "You manipulative little…brat."

Feeling Sanzo's lips on his reminds Goku that this kind of spontaneity from the monk had been exactly what started things the last time.

Manipulation never felt so gratifying.

-----

Gojyo laughs deep in his chest, so deep he can feel it shaking the base of his spine. Laughing always feels different while laying down, and since he is currently flat on his back on the bed, scooted down low enough for his legs to hang comfortably over the edge, his laughter shakes him from his head to the bend in his knees.

Hakkai's soft chuckles carry a very different tamber than Gojyo, but he too feels movement throughout his body.

Their heads are turned to face each other, eyes half-closed amidst their humor. They might as well be drunk as far as any picky neighbor might imagine. For both of them, however, life couldn't be more blissfully sober.

"I can't believe you were such a punk." Gojyo says at last, laughter still making his words sound like barked shouts. "You…with long hair and a nasty temper? Getting into fights? _Starting_ them?"

"Only occasionally." Hakkai assures his friend, though the wide smile on his face tells of his amusement over some of the memories. He allows the last of his own laughter to trail off, noticing that Gojyo is doing the same. "I was a bookworm as a young child, yes, but as an adolescent…before Kanan…I was really quite deviant." The healer admits, smiling all the while as he stares across the few inches between his and Gojyo's heads. "I rarely started a fight, but I would defend myself quite violently against those who thought to tease the studious, frail, and effeminate young orphan."

The mild seriousness of the conversation strikes Gojyo, and his smile flickers. He has very much enjoyed hearing of some of Gonou's wilder moments before meeting Kanan and settling down, but he knows this sharing is not all about fun and games. "But…weren't the other guys around there, ya know…orphans too?"

"Most of them, of course, but for those who were simply there for the education the nuns offered it was one more reason to hate someone different from them."

"Guess getting a bad temper out of the deal is pretty expected then."

"Perhaps. But I always had trouble controlling my emotions, even when I was very young and stayed away from everyone. The smallest thing could set me off sometimes. Back then I didn't handle such moments nearly as…carefully as I do today. I prefer not having such moments at all of course. I would much rather have reason to smile."

Gojyo blinks a few times without speaking, allowing his face to fall into a thoughtful expression. "And…the only thing that made you smile…was her," the kappa says, his voice dim and gentle, testing the waters of this touchy subject.

"Yes…" Hakkai answers with a sad smile, his eyes looking straight back at Gojyo but as if he might not really be seeing him at all. "When I was eighteen the orphanage had no choice but to send me out on my own. One of the nuns, one kinder to me than most despite my demeanor, had heard my sister was looking for me. I did not remember her, of course, we were separated too young. I still do not know what took our parents from us, or why it was we were separated from each other. But she remembered. She sought me out. That kind nun told me as much as she dared and Kanan and I…found each other."

"As much as she…dared?" Gojyo asks, a little hesitant in interrupting.

Hakkai focuses a little clearer on Gojyo's face, smiling again. "Orphanages have certain policies about giving even the orphans themselves information concerning where they came from. Technically, she was breaking several rules when she told me of Kanan."

"Then how did Kanan find out about you? I mean, she remembered, fine, but…she still would have needed some sort of lead, right?"

A broader smile overtakes Hakkai's face. He remembers the Kanan from the dreamworld and the words his own likeness had said. "She can be very persuasive," he echoes, thinking that his own Kanan did have some similarities to the dream persona after all.

Gojyo laughs. "Yeah…if she was anything like you, that don't surprise me at all." He reaches his hand over the mattress, seeking Hakkai's without looking. Calloused fingers brush the smooth, unmarred skin of the back of Hakkai's hand. Gojyo knows Hakkai sports plenty of imperfections, but the back of the man's hands always manage to remain flawless. "So she was persuasive, you got tipped off, the two of you met up, and…you couldn't stop grinning."

A tenor laugh echoes Gojyo's. "Something like that," Hakkai says, "The nuns used to tell me about love, how love would change my dark heart one day. I didn't believe them. What did I know of love?"

Internally, Gojyo starts, but keeps his reaction to himself.

"I was angry and lonely. I didn't believe in their God if he could cause the pain I lived with every day. But then…there was Kanan. My own flesh and blood, my own face staring back at me, with such a kind, _loving_ smile. I was mirroring it before I realized, and the ease with which it came to me, the lightness in my heart caused by simply…looking at her…well, I didn't want to be that dark little boy or that angry young man. I just wanted the feeling in my heart to remain, and…it did not matter that she was my sister. She was my everything, my first love in every sense, and she felt the same about me. She taught me to smile, to laugh, to care, to love. And…I suppose…our love expressed itself in ways it…perhaps…should not have."

This time Gojyo's start cannot be repressed. He grips Hakkai's hand, forcing his friend to look at him more directly. He is no longer smiling. "Hakkai…" Gojyo says, "You and I…have way too much in common. Neither of us knew what love was, maybe both of us tried to find it in places we…shouldn't have. But you know what's different? Whatever you and Kanan had, whether it was wrong in some ways or not, _that_ was love. Real love. Sister love that got confused? Maybe. But it was love, and you fought for it. That's more than…" Gojyo bites his lip, but his impulsiveness already has the words leaving his mouth, "…more than I could ever do."

When Hakkai seems about to protest, Gojyo shakes his head, not simply dismissively but pleadingly. So the brunette turns his hand over rather than speaks and locks his fingers with Gojyo's.

Several minutes pass without words. Hakkai, drawn to the vulnerability he can see on Gojyo's face and spurned further yet by his own vulnerable state, scoots a little closer to his friend. The needed silence has blanketed them, and now he longs for another form of therapy.

Gojyo is not in any way against having Hakkai's lips press to his or having the brunette's free hand rest on his partially naked hip since Gojyo's pants always seem to hang lower than they should.

Light pressure quickly succumbs to gentle nips and seeking tongues. Gojyo is still marveling at how Hakkai's kiss is unlike any woman's, but that its difference makes all the difference in the world. Hakkai's tongue is forceful and yielding at once, never giving up control but never demanding it. Gojyo finds himself reacting in kind, giving more than he ever gave to a woman, and getting more than he ever could have imagined.

When the kiss starts to heat up, Gojyo can feel his skin warming, and he can feel the heat beginning to rise up in Hakkai's body as well, even through the man's nightshirt. Just when Gojyo thinks he might be courageous enough to start lifting Hakkai's shirt, the brunette pulls out of the kiss.

Both men are gasping at the sudden disconnection, eyes hazy and half-lidded as they look at each other, their faces now much closer than they had been before. Hakkai's smile is a little lopsided but as genuine and welcome as Gojyo has ever seen it.

"So…" the healer says, still somewhat out of breath, "Shall we move on to Gojyo-chan, the early years, or would you prefer we went to bed?"

Gojyo tries not to look too lascivious as he grins back. "Now when you talk about us going to bed…"

"I mean sleep, Gojyo, in our very separate beds."

"Damn."

Hakkai chuckles. "Well…I suppose I might be open to some amendments."

Gojyo's eyes widen in hope. "Such as?"

"Staying like this," Hakkai replies, tilting his head into the mattress beneath him. "Although it may be a little crowded since these beds really are made for one person."

Gojyo climbs quickly up the bed so that his feet are no longer hanging over its edge. He reaches his arms down to grip Hakkai's shoulders and starts to pull. Hakkai laughs, but is soon helping Gojyo in his task so that both of them are lying on the bed as comfortably as possible. Once they are both settled, Gojyo sits up to grab for the crumpled blanket he kicked aside earlier and pulls it up around them.

"Does this mean Gojyo-chan shall come tomorrow night?"

At the risk of sounding truly perverted, Gojyo glances down his body before looking back up into Hakkai's eyes. "He'd certainly like to." The kappa grins.

Snuggling closer to Gojyo in the small bed, Hakkai's laughter fills the room for several minutes. Eventually, more than content on both their parts, the pair falls blissfully asleep.

-----

"Ow, watch what you're doing!"

"I am!"

"No, you're distracted and impatient. And will you make up your damn mind already!"

Goku sits back on his hunches, considering the possibilities. "Well…I know I wanna face you, so…can't we just stay like this?"

"Whatever." Sanzo answers, choosing a noncommittal rather than frightened tone.

He is laying flat on the bed, completely naked except for his arm covers, which Goku had requested he keep on. Sanzo had blushed at the leering look Goku sent him when making the request but grudgingly complied anyway.

Impatient and nervous now, the monk lies rigid beneath his companion while the monkey sits on his chest—thinking. "Well?"

"Oh! Uhh…right." Goku shakes himself out of his thoughts and leans back down, his legs still straddling Sanzo's waist as he lays his chest upon Sanzo's and grins. "So…you're gonna participate this time, right?"

"Fuck off."

Goku's grin widens. "Well…"

"And shut up already."

The smallest movement on Sanzo's part is enough to meet his lips to Goku's. He has had enough of Goku's blatant disrespect and overconfidence. Damn it, he is Genjou Sanzo, this boy's _master_ in every sense of the word, and his kiss tries desperately to prove this, raging a war of dominance that Goku is more than ready to fight.

Considering Goku's disadvantage in height, being in this position forces him to remain rather high up on Sanzo's body in order to kiss. Meaning Sanzo's erection has no place to go but up, prodding the slightly moving rear of the excited monkey. Goku lets out a squeak, breaking from the kiss and falling flat atop Sanzo's chest. Crushing his own erection between their bodies, Goku immediately squeaks again.

Both young men freeze. Gold eyes look up timidly into violet and Goku sports a pout. "Hey…I thought I got to be seme again."

Sanzo tries not to laugh, something that is actually rather easy since the look on Goku's face makes him seem several years younger. The thought makes Sanzo shudder before responding. "It's not my fault you're short." He says, banishing the images of a much younger Goku from his mind. He prefers the adult version damn it!

"So…I can still--"

"You can if you shut up and get on with it." Sanzo growls in frustration. Maybe he does prefer it when Goku acts confident. "Stupid monkey." He adds.

Something in the pet name reminds Goku that being top—in both senses of the word this time—carries with it a lot of trust…and a hell of a lot of power. His pout fades into a smirk. "Put your hands over your head."

"What!"

"Just do it, Sanzo."

The intelligent part of Sanzo's brain wonders when he became stupid enough to listen to a demand like this, especially since Sanzo is actually listening.

Goku lifts himself up, staring ravenously down at the man spread out before him. The smooth pale chest, the thin but well-muscled arms covered in black silk and lifted up to make the ripples of Sanzo's stomach even more taut, the stern but beautiful face looking up at him with drooping eyes that betray the slight fear in them, and the crown of golden hair haloing the monk in sunshine.

Goku licks his lips.

"You're so sexy I could _eat_ you."

"Try it and you're dead."

Goku dips down to kiss Sanzo's cheek. "You might like it if I did," he whispers in the monk's ear, feeling the shudder he forces from the man beneath him.

Oh yeah, Goku can definitely do this.

"Guess we can save that for next time then."

"Next time?"

"Shut up, Sanzo."

And amazingly, Sanzo listens again.

The night moves forward at a crawl. A delicious and very welcome crawl. Goku decides that nothing is going to keep him from mapping out every inch of Sanzo's body, not when he has been given permission, and especially not when Sanzo is reciprocating this time.

When Goku finally reaches over to the nightstand for his palm-sized tube, both of them are tingling and close enough to the bursting point to _need_ the deeper connection they have been avoiding.

Sanzo obeys when Goku asks him to raise his hips and spread his legs. He feels the strain of his inflexible body trying to bend in ways it didn't have to when he and Goku did this before. Being bottom _on the_ bottom while still facing one's lover is like being a pretzel, Sanzo decides, like being folded in half.

When Goku has stretched and teased and coaxed him just enough, however, sudden heat as the monkey enters him erases all thoughts of their position being awkward.

At first, Sanzo can focus only on the pain because he keeps expecting it to sear and sting worse than he remembers from the dreamworld. Nothing is searing or stinging when Sanzo feels the first pump of Goku's hips though, and the movement finds that particularly marvelous spot inside Sanzo's body.

Head thrown back and eyes closed, Sanzo gasps, but not in pain.

"Keep your eyes open, Sanzo. I wanna see you this time…"

Again, Sanzo obeys, and despite how Goku is hovering over him, Sanzo still has to look down a little to meet the monkey's eyes. And when he takes them in he isn't thinking about gold. In Goku's eyes…

There is only _love_.

"I love you, Goku."

Goku's rhythm falters and a too wide grin spreads the length of his face. He presses his hips deeper into Sanzo's body to bring their faces level. Both of them shudder in the depth of the connection, lips trembling only breaths apart. "Do you…love loving me, Sanzo?" Goku asks with a lopsided smile.

Half of Sanzo's mouth twitches, making up for the half Goku is too afraid to finish. And then, instead of answering, Sanzo allows the other half of his smile to lift and meet the first.

tbc...

A/N: You're lucky none of the books I'm supposed to be reading this semester have arrived yet. :-) Okay, I think I like this chapter, full of lots of giggles and fluff and some good growth for the guys. Of course you realize that the sweeter the couples become, the harder they'll fall later...hehehe.

This chapter is dedicated to mith-maulin at DeviantArt for the AMAZING picture she drew of a moment in the last chapter. Go to DeviantArt and look her up. The picture is called saiyuki - horribly tease. It's wonderful. :-)

Thanks to all for continuing with this story and for those of you who are passing it on to others to read (it seems I even have some sisters out there spreading the love). It just makes me happier to work for you guys. These chapters seem short to me...and I'm sorry, but I believe the first twist shall be appearing in the next chapter, and those are always...fun. Be ready. ;-) Love you all, and please remember to tell me how I handled the smut. Rest assured that Gojyo and Hakkai will...get their turn. Till next chapter!

Crim


	6. When It All Starts Going Wrong

When It All Starts Going Wrong

* * *

Nothing could mar this day. Nothing.

After waking to the warmth of another's body pressed tight to his, a warm breath on his neck and smooth skin in contact with every inch of us own, Goku has moved beyond thoughts of Heaven. That boring place in the sky has nothing on Sanzo.

Riding in the back of the jeep, Goku lazily turns his head, lolled back on the seat, to stare at the profile of his sun. The celestial sun is directly above them, striking every inch of Sanzo's golden hair and illuminating the monk like a holy icon. Goku is fully aware that some people actually consider Sanzo to be such an icon, but knowing that and believing it are entirely different things. Sanzo is anything but the normal, pious priest, after all. He smokes, he swears, he drinks, he kills, and recently he has learned the fine art of true submission.

A brief wave of power rises up in Goku, but he quickly shakes it off. Having Sanzo at his mercy can be very nice, the monkey admits, but when Goku watches Sanzo the way he is right now and sees all that gold framing the face he has loved for so long, he knows how the power play really works. It goes both ways. Sanzo is his, but he is also Sanzo's. And when it comes down to it, Goku wouldn't want it any other way.

"Tell me, monkey, enjoying your eye-candy back there or just reminiscing about last night?" Gojyo calls from the front, leaning over his seat with a knowing grin.

"Can it, kappa," Goku scowls, keeping his voice to a low whisper since Sanzo looks to be napping, "I don't even have to…dignify that with a response."

Gojyo squints in sheer disbelief at the vocabulary that just came out of the monkey's mouth. Surely, Gojyo must be dreaming if he really heard such things come from Goku. "I'm sorry, but…when did you grow a brain? Coz last I checked you were still a dumb—horny—monkey." Gojyo leans a little further over his seat, careful to avoid getting too close to Sanzo. "So tell me…which one of you's on top?"

Click.

Gojyo freezes, feeling the cold metal of Sanzo's Smith and Wesson against his temple. Oh, how long it has been, he almost forgets to look scared. A slow turn of his eyes to meet violet, however, has Gojyo quickly remembering.

"You want to say that a little louder, cockroach?"

"Uhhh…I'm thinking maybe not."

"Smart choice."

"You gonna lower the gun, Sanzo-sama?"

"I'm thinking maybe…not."

"Now, now…" Hakkai interjects, having remained silent purely to gauge just how foolish Gojyo was actually going to get, "We're all friends here. No need for violence. Also, Sanzo…I think perhaps you and I should have a talk later."

Lowering his gun with purposeful slowness, Sanzo keeps his eyes trained on the stupidly grinning kappa. "What the hell for? Sometimes there's plenty need for violence, especially when some smartass sticks his nose in my god damn business."

Goku muffles a few coughs of laughter in his hands, but the concerned look in Hakkai's eyes from the rearview mirror has him rethinking the situation. "Errr…don't worry, Hakkai, Sanzo and I worked things out if this talk's about me. You don't need to bully him again."

Sanzo snorts. Bully, my ass.

Gojyo snickers, but turns to face front again quickly to avoid revisiting Sanzo's gun.

Hakkai is impressed at Goku's ability to evaluate the situation so accurately, but he still isn't entirely convinced his 'talk' with Sanzo should be forgotten. "You worked things out?" the healer prompts, not seeking a hidden agenda as Gojyo might; he is honestly curious as to what Goku means.

"Well…yeah. We talked about the whole…Seiten Taisei thing, and…it's okay. I know Sanzo won't hate me if something bad happens. It's just tough, ya know. But we're gonna keep trying if…if you guys don't mind. With my limiter, I mean."

There is a short silence. Honestly, Hakkai was certain he would have to severely reprimand the monk before Sanzo would work things out with Goku on his own, and yet there they both sit, saying everything is okay. Perhaps Sanzo is learning from all of this after all.

Hakkai turns back briefly to offer Goku a broad smile, glancing a moment at Sanzo to silently tell the blonde that he is more than ready to bring up the issue of a 'talk' again if the need arises. Sanzo, of course, makes no response.

"We're ready again when you are, Goku," Gojyo says, leaning his head back on his chair to peer upside down into the back seat. "Just say the word and…well…and Sanzo-sama will happily chain you up again. Personally, I think he kinda likes that part."

Gojyo jolts forward after a great kick strikes his seat.

"Professionally speaking, of course," the kappa mends, with as much sarcasm dripping from his words as he dares. Lucky for him, Sanzo isn't in a mood to react further.

"Anyway…" Goku starts with some hesitation, "I was thinking we could…ya know…like Gojyo said, not waste any time, and…try again today." The last three words finish in a rush that is almost too quickly spoken to understand. The silence that follows has Goku pretty sure the others heard him anyway. "I mean…we don't…have to. It's just--"

"We'll do it."

Goku looks sideways at Sanzo, who is looking steadily forward, arms crossed and expression masked.

Slowly, the monk turns to meet Goku's gaze. "It's what you want."

Something in the phrase makes it sound like a question, and Goku nods, feeling a little misplaced, like a much younger version of himself.

When Sanzo looks at him with such penetrating seriousness, he always feels a little smaller, like a child standing up to his father. And yet, whenever Goku really wants something from the monk, lately he has been able to grasp it, and openly. Sanzo is not Goku's father-figure any more than Goku is Sanzo's servant. But Sanzo is and always will be the person Goku most longs to please.

And the ones we want to please are the hardest ones to let down, because it pains us to pain them. We would sooner kill ourselves than them. We would sooner end it all to spare them pain caused by our hands.

Sanzo's eyes narrow. He is confused by the darkness he has just seen pass through Goku's eyes, turning gold into burnt amber. "Goku…" he says, the simply spoken word coming out soft, concerned.

Goku's eyes brighten, their sparkle returning with gusto, and the boy bounces in his seat, grinning. "Yeah, Sanzo?"

"What are you thinking, monkey? I don't like that look."

"Huh?" Goku asks, genuinely confused as if he himself had not noticed his own darkening countenance, "I'm not thinking anything. Just that I wanna do better this time. And ya know…" Scooting closer to Sanzo in the backseat, Goku's grin turns a little predatory. He leans into Sanzo and whispers, "I've been learning _all about_ having more control."

A lump catches in Sanzo's throat. He swallows it. Violet eyes dart towards the front, where Hakkai and Gojyo seem to be either uninterested or simply out of hearing range with his and Goku's voices turned to whispers. "Utilize some of that control then," the monk hisses, gesturing with a tilt of his head to the pair up front, "I don't want that kappa getting any more ammunition than he already has."

"What do you care? It's our business, right?"

Sanzo scowls but doesn't respond.

"And…last night…you liked it, right?" Goku adds with a flick of his tongue at Sanzo's nose.

The monk twitches, his eyes darting constantly towards the front and at the rearview mirror, searching for prying eyes. "Once you finally stopped screwing around," Sanzo replies.

Goku just snickers. "Can we fool around some more?" A swift hand slides up under Sanzo's robe…but is just as swiftly stopped.

"You wanna die?" Sanzo growls, violets barely able to remain on Goku's face he is so concerned with the pair up front, "In private only. Not every time you get excited. And I don't even want to know how often that is."

This time, Goku all-out laughs, finally causing the commotion in the back to be noticed more fully by Gojyo and Hakkai.

Red eyes look at Sanzo and Goku from an upside down perspective.

"Having fun back there?"

Click.

-----

Kougaiji is growing irritated with the gaping expressions on his companion's faces. Even his sister is silent in her shock, mouth hanging unseemly open as she gawks at him. The youkai prince shouldn't find these reactions all that surprising considering his own shock when the Sanzo party explained their summons of him. But seeing Dokugakuji and even Yaone looking dumbstruck is really getting on his nerves.

Thankfully, the vein beginning to appear on Kougaiji's forehead does not go unnoticed by his most diligent observer. "Forgive us, Kougaiji-sama," Yaone says with a small bow, "It's just so…hard to believe. Master Sanzo and the others really asked for a truce?"

Kougaiji nods, his vein slowly fading.

"And?" Dokugakuji prompts further, a vein of his own starting to appear with his tone bordering on anger. Abruptly, he stands from where he had been seated next to Lirin on the small couch. "What did you say to them, huh? What did you say to end up back here empty handed? Get lost? Go to hell? They offered to help us end this, Kou!"

A sudden slam silences Dokugakuji instantly. Kougaiji has brought his fist back into the wall he had been leaning against—hard. "What would you have had me say instead? Please, use our dragons, take our castle, _kill_ our comrades! And feel free to walk out afterwards _without_ keeping your end of the bargain!"

"Kougaiji-sama…"

"Geez, Kou, I didn't--"

"Don't yell at Doku-niichan!"

The three older youkai turn immediately to Lirin, who is practically shaking, her fists are clenched so tight. They hadn't even noticed when she jumped to her feet.

"I love you, Niichan, and Doku and Yaone-chan love you too. But right now…you're being a real dope." Lirin folds her arms over her more-than-ample chest, turning up her nose as if highly disappointed in her older brother. The others don't know what to say, remaining silent. "You should have said yes, Niichan. Baldy and his group wouldn't go back on a deal, no way. 'Sides, none of us _really_ hate them…right?" Green eyes blink with a sudden renewal of innocence, moving around the room.

Yaone smiles, leaning over the back of the couch to pat Lirin on the head. "Of course, Lady Lirin. But liking them does not make them any less our enemies. You know that."

"Don't tell me you agree with him?" Dokugakuji asks, spinning on Yaone with a look of extreme incredulity.

There is another—though less resonant—bang of Kougaiji's fist into the wall behind him. "Dokugakuji," He says in warning, "I don't appreciate being talked about as if I am not in the room. And I don't appreciate my authority being undermined, either."

Rarely does Kougaiji exercise his authority over his companions in explicit ways, so when he does, neither Dokugakuji nor Yaone would ever stand against him. This time is no exception. "Forgive me…Lord Kougaiji." Dokugakuji says in a defeated voice, bowing his head and averting his gaze. The youkai's fists are still clenched tight at his sides.

Lirin looks about ready to protest again.

Yaone looks thoroughly helpless.

Kougaiji sighs. "Damn it," he curses, raking a clawed hand through his mussed red hair. He averts his eyes as well, unable to look up and seek his friends. "Dokugaku…Yaone…" He raises his eyes then, captured instantly by Yaone's reverent but constant stare. He pauses just long enough to return her look before moving to Dokugakuji and then to Lirin. "Lirin…all of you…I didn't turn them down, not outright. I said I would consider it. But I couldn't come right out and jump on the offer. They are our enemies, if some of you forget, and we have been trying to kill one another for over a year now--"

"Like hell we have!"

Indigo eyes turn slowly back on Dokugakuji, meeting the taller youkai's fierce blue steadily despite Kougaiji's recent hesitation.

Dokugakuji falters, his own eyes struggling to stay locked on Kougaiji. "I'm just saying…even with everything that's happened, we never seriously went after them to kill them. We helped each other more times than we fought, for crying out loud. Is that how enemies act?"

"And even when circumstances turn serious, we still greet one another in a congenial manner." Yaone puts in, her demeanor as quiet and submissive as ever, but still willing to aid Dokugakuji's plea. "Kougaiji-sama, I think what everyone is trying to say, is that…if it so pleases you…we would be most grateful to be friends…rather than enemies. It really would be a shame to kill one another in the end when…they are…in some ways…" Yaone hesitates, but the encouraging looks from Dokugakuji and Lirin are enough to spurn her on, "…our friends." She finishes.

Kougaiji almost flinches. _Friends_. Being enemies with friends, with family in some cases, and at the very least with those they all respect. It is not something he would ever wish for.

Three pairs of eyes rest on Kougaiji now, waiting for a response, an answer to the larger question of what the prince's decision will be.

Kougaiji steadies his gaze on those looking back at him. "It will take a lot of preparation on our part to successfully pull this off," he says, concealing the smallest hint of a smile beneath his serious demeanor. Regardless of lingering worries, the mere thought of succeeding in such a plan with the Sanzo-ikkou is exciting, even for him.

Lirin jumps into the air and pumps her fist, shouting happily.

Yaone's smile broadens and she bows politely.

Dokugakuji cracks a sideways smirk and nods.

Nii, standing just outside the door, grins at his discovery and hugs his stuffed bunny a little tighter to his side. With his plan continuing just as he had hoped, he starts off down the hall, leaving Kougaiji's group to begin their futile scheming.

-----

"So we're sure the wards and chains and all this crap will _hold_ this time, right?" Gojyo asks. He stands from where he had been tying down one of Goku's legs to look alternatively at Hakkai, crouched to tie Goku's other leg, and Sanzo, tying the monkey's arms.

This time they have Goku on the ground, bound more securely, with hopefully less leverage to use in straining his bonds. Strangely enough, the change had been Goku's idea. Any thought on how to better keep Seiten Taisei from escaping was something the others were more than willing to listen to.

Sanzo says nothing in response to Gojyo's question, merely securing Goku's arms and standing straight to admire the fastenings and well-placed ofuda.

Hakkai smiles encouragingly once noticing the worried look on Goku's face. "We have taken every precaution that should be necessary. I'm sure everything will be fine," the healer says, nodding down at Goku despite the bulk of his words being directed at Gojyo. After all, it isn't hard to guess who needs the most reassurance right now. "At the very least it will be a safe though perhaps unsuccessful attempt." Hakkai adds.

Really, that doesn't sound all that bad to Goku. "Okay, guys, I'm ready whenever you are." The monkey says, turning his face to stone and his resolution into steel. He tries very hard not to look at Sanzo with an overly anxious expression.

This is significantly harder than it might be since Sanzo's eye is twitching.

"Sanzo?"

"You really ready?"

"Are _you_?"

Sanzo's lips form into a straight, silent line. He turns once to look at Gojyo and then at Hakkai, both in fighting stances with their own forms of weapons at the ready. When Sanzo looks back down at Goku, the monkey nods once…before everything comes in an impossible rush. Sanzo is as brisk as he was the day before, lifting Goku's coronet from his brow with ease. And just like the day before, a great cry rips through the clearing of the ikkou's camp, replaced quickly by fitful snarls and hisses.

Something about the change seems quicker this time, Sanzo muses, wondering if perhaps removing the limiter more often makes the change easier. Sanzo isn't entirely sure if that is a comforting thought or not.

"We're trying a kinder, gentler method this time, right?"

Sanzo ignores Gojyo, staring down at the growling heretic. Despite clearly knowing that Gojyo and Hakkai are also in the immediate area, Seiten Taisei appears to only be interested in Sanzo.

Hakkai looks to Gojyo worriedly, thinking of his own promise to work on issues of control. The way Seiten Taisei is looking at Sanzo has the healer wondering if perhaps a relationship makes things more complicated from the youkai perspective. Such knowledge does not make him very keen on keeping his word to the redhead.

Watching Seiten Taisei closely, Sanzo has a pretty good idea what the beast's new perspective might be. The heretic is staring at him, yes, but also…sniffing. Constantly growling and hissing and struggling, but in a muted way as he _sniffs_, his nose twitching as it breathes in the scents of his own body. Each renewed breath has the creature looking more intrigued with Sanzo, whom he is also trying to more acutely sniff, straining up against his bonds to better reach the monk.

He can smell me on him, Sanzo thinks. Damn those heightened senses, he can smell…

But Sanzo doesn't want to finish the thought. He doesn't want to think about how Seiten Taisei might react to this new knowledge. Sanzo could almost kick himself for not considering it before. The first time he and Goku were together, it was technically in their minds. But now…now they have been intimate in a truly physical sense, and Seiten Taisei might actually understand. He might…_know_.

"What is he doing…?" Gojyo asks, understanding that the beast is sniffing, but having no idea why.

Hakkai is actually somewhat surprised Gojyo hasn't jumped on the answer considering the brunette already has it figured out. It came to him rather easily judging by the look on Sanzo's face and the confusion on Seiten Taisei's.

A meeting of crimson and emerald has the gears in Gojyo's head clicking into place. The kappa snorts, but doesn't say anything.

Sanzo is busy pretending neither of them exists. "Remember me, monkey," he asks, his tone tight but more controlled than the last time he attempted this, "I'm guessing you do. In fact, I think you always remember us, no matter how many times the scenery changes when you wake up."

Seiten Taisei growls, a low rumbling that builds in a very familiar rhythm. He does not appreciate Sanzo's subtle jabs, and he is still confused about having the man's scent on him, and at how his own scent seems to be lingering on the blonde as well. There is something familiar about it, something he should know, something he _does_ know but doesn't quite understand.

"Now…you're going to play nice today, and if you do…" Sanzo twirls the diadem in his hand, holding back a smirk with the motion, "…maybe we'll let you breathe a little before putting this back on. Understand?"

Seiten Taisei gives a small hiss, but stills, occasionally sniffing the air as if trying to decipher further just what the scents mean.

"Good."

Sanzo plops down into the dirt right where he had been standing, close to Seiten Taisei's head. He holds the coronet in full view of the beast, but keeps his gun in his robes. He has decided to forget about the beast's sniffing. Better to keep that subject out of the topics of discussion.

Seeing that Sanzo seems more relaxed this time, Hakkai and Gojyo cautiously join the monk on the ground, Hakkai sitting opposite Sanzo and Gojyo closer to the earth-child's feet. They have Seiten Taisei more or less surrounded, but Gojyo keeps his shakujou in his lap, and Hakkai keeps his hands poised. Hakuryuu has once again been asked to remain out of sight, just in case.

"This is going to be real painless, monkey. I talk. You listen. No one gets _shot_. Got it?"

Seiten Taisei does not respond, his sniffing stilled for now, though his gaze remains locked on Sanzo. Something about these scents still bothers him, keeping him compliant while he tries to sort out their meaning.

Hakkai and Gojyo know to let Sanzo take the lead, keeping their focus on the beast.

Violet eyes lower a moment before rising again and looking over every part of the beast's face. There is nothing of Goku in it. Nothing. "Do you know who I am?" Sanzo asks, his voice even and low.

Seiten Taisei tilts his head.

"I know you're not stupid. Do you know who I am?"

Seiten Taisei's head dips once in the likeness of a nod.

"Let me guess," Sanzo says with a slight sneer, "Konzen."

The same dip of the creature's head responds.

"And just who is Konzen to you?"

Gojyo and Hakkai were not prepared for this direction anymore than they were for Sanzo's choice of yelling and cursing the time before. They remain quite, passing one another silent messages across the space between them.

Seiten Taisei looks confused, unsure how to response, or perhaps, unable to.

"Who is Konzen?" Sanzo asks again, his patience already running thin, "You know him, you think _I'm_ him, so he has to mean something to you. He has to have some presence in your life. What is it?"

The beast still does not respond. Something has started to tug at the back of his animalistic mind. Golden eyes narrow and he leans as close to Sanzo as his bonds allow. He breathes in deeply and hisses at the man as he lowers himself down again. He knows this smell. He knows it…and he remembers its implications.

This man has touched him. This man has been touched _by_ him.

Seiten Taisei stops hissing. A cat-like grin spreads across his face, revealing the glint of his fangs. Something in his eyes darkens. Oh yes, he knows what the scents mean, and if this great golden creature whom he has sought and known and challenged all this time has been with him as he believes, than he plans to claim what is his.

Later, Gojyo and Hakkai only remember the sound of snapping rope and creaking chains, their own distant curses and cries before being thrown aside with ridiculous ease, and the fading sound of Sanzo's gun firing.

-----

"Hahahahaha…"

"Something funny?" Hwan asks, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed crisply across her chest.

Nii is sitting in front of his computer screen, glued to whatever is currently being displayed. "Oh, just taking in an afternoon flick, Hwan-san," the doctor says with a pleased-with-himself lilt to his voice. He does not turn away form the screen, his form blocking it from Hwan's view. "One of the many surveillances of our traveling troupe seems to be picking up some rather interesting footage."

Hwan strains to see around Nii, not wanting to play into his hands by entering the room further. Purposely blocking her this way is probably just another one of his sick jokes. "Are you going to tell me?" she asks sharply. "I am just as responsible for what happens here as you are and the Sanzo party--"

"Is finally learning just how much attachment burns."

"What…?"

Rotating slowly in his chair, Nii looks back at Hwan with a grin more salaciously malicious than she ever remembers seeing. "They'll be handing themselves over by the end of the week. I couldn't have set it up more perfectly."

"What are you talking about?"

Rather than simply tell the woman what he means as any decent person might, Nii gets up from his chair, leaving his computer screen in full view for her to see. He laughs openly at her reaction upon seeing it, laughs when she turns away in disgust, and is still laughing when he walks past her out the room with the sounds of her churning stomach almost loud enough to reach his ears.

tbc...

A/N: Sorry this one was so short, but it's up quicker than expected, and I hope it's...packed with some interesting intrigue. Yeah, I'm evil. Bet you all really want to know just what happened with Seiten Taisei. Don't worry, you'll get to...as soon as I find the time to write the next part, which despite a bit of explaining will also have a nice big chunk of GojyoxHakkai since they keep getting pushed into the background. Oh, and I had no intention of things going this direction, but this is where the boys have steered me. Anyway, thanks for all the swift and thoughtful reviews. You guys are really being amazing. You inspire me. I should have been reading. I really SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Oh well. You better give me lots of thanks (and critique and comments) for all I sacrifice for you. :-)

Crim


	7. “…how’d we do?”

"…how'd we do?"

* * *

Gojyo groans before he even realizes he is waking up. Opening his eyes he has the distinct impression that whatever caused the splitting headache he is currently suffering from, it is something he should take as much time as possible remembering. He knows even as the memories are rushing back that they are flooding to the front of his brain faster than he had hoped.

The one saving grace is that the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes…is Hakkai. A not-quite-smiling but very relieved and _alive_ Hakkai. If Gojyo's mind is choosing this moment to play tricks on him, he wouldn't mind if it decided to continue the tricks indefinitely.

"You still breathing, baby?"

"Hmm," Hakkai thoughtfully raises a hand to breathe against his palm and even goes so far as to check for a pulse along the side of his neck. "It would appear as much, though I'm not a real doctor, you know."

Gojyo would laugh if he thought anything could be funny right now. He tries for a smile since Hakkai is straining so hard to give him one, and moves his head to get a better layout of the room. It is too dark and his neck too strained for him to see much more than the lamp next to him which he assumes must be resting on a table. Hakkai looks to be sitting beside Gojyo's bed, meaning the room at least has one chair. But other than that the hanyou decides to consider further inspection at this point a lost cause.

A silence stretches between them that is instantly intolerable. Gojyo doesn't like Hakkai's not-quite smile. He doesn't like the tension in Hakkai's shoulders. He doesn't like that Hakkai is the only one he can see.

"So…how'd we do?"

Hakkai's smile twitches and he laughs lightly as if Gojyo meant his words as a joke.

"Hakkai…it's…not just you and me, right?" Gojyo prompts further, wanting to sit up in the bed but feeling the stiffness of his neck holding him back. He vaguely remembers his last thought as being the sharp pain of something hitting the back of his head. He remembers from a long-ago lecture from Hakkai that being able to feel pain after that kind of blow is a good sign.

Hakkai still hasn't answered Gojyo, but his smile isn't even holding enough to look faked. Now…it is simply gone.

"Hakkai…?" Gojyo doesn't even care that his voice cracked. "Goku…Sanzo…? Tell me they're still with us."

Gojyo has thought it many times before—he is an expert at Hakkai-watching. For all the emotions fighting for control in Hakkai's eyes and expression, Gojyo cannot read even the smallest hint of an answer to his question, but his friend's silence tells him he might not want to know…

-----

_Sanzo could not remember the last time he felt so angry. He is better than this. He is stronger than this. Damn it, the wards should have held! But they didn't. _

_Seiten Taisei is as strong as Sanzo could ever remember, but the difference in his fighting style becomes immediately apparent: this time the beast is not playing games. The ease with which he descends upon Gojyo and Hakkai is unreal. Sanzo has barely had time to pull his gun and fire warning shots past Seiten Taisei's head before his friends are lying unconscious on the ground. All it had taken was a sharp strike at Gojyo's neck and a swift tossing of Hakkai's body against a nearby tree._

_Had it been so easy before, Sanzo wonders. He thinks it was not. He knows it was not. Oh, it could have been, but Seiten Taisei likes to play with his prey. This time his mission is different. Sanzo is at least thankful that the mission trumps any ideas of killing his companions, but he is less thankful when the beast turns towards him._

_The malicious intent in Seiten Taisei's eyes speaks nothing of death and destruction as Sanzo remembers. The gold irises and slit pupils are just as determined, just as frightening, but they are aflame for a very different reason and Sanzo has a sudden urge to retch._

_Not a fucking chance in Hell._

_Sanzo fires his gun in warning again, singing part of Seiten Taisei's hair. The beast smiles at him, wide and feral to show off his toothy, fanged grin. There are several yards between Sanzo and the beast, and Sanzo knows this is only lasting because Seiten Taisei has no problem taking the time to play with _him_. Gojyo and Hakkai were just nuisances to be rid of. Sanzo is the prey._

"_You take one step and I'm pulling this trigger."_

_Seiten Taisei's expression doesn't change. And then he is gone, leaving the imprint of that grin in Sanzo's mind before it is suddenly in front of him again, only much closer. Sanzo fires on instinct but his aim had been positioned far beyond where the beast is now. In the next moment the gun is gone, to where Sanzo has no idea, and a great weight strikes his chest before his body collides with the ground._

_All the air rushes from Sanzo's lungs. He gasps, forgetting at first to struggle. This shouldn't be so easy. It shouldn't be so easy for Seiten Taisei to disarm him, to pin him, to hover over him and smile triumphantly. The creature must have truly been playing with them all those times before, never quite showing his true strength or power. Sanzo knew as much all along, but assumed—foolishly—that it wouldn't matter. He had always been able to subdue the beast before._

_Only this time Seiten Taisei means to do the subduing, to conquer, to possess. Violet eyes and gold hair is not enough to distract him. This time those things only fuel him._

"_Get the fuck off me!" Sanzo cries. He tries to keep the panic out of his voice. He isn't afraid. He isn't weak. This _isn't_ going to happen._

_Seiten Taisei has Sanzo's legs pinned between his thighs, the monk's arms caught and pressed down into the dirt. The beast lifts those arms above Sanzo's head so that the blonde's wrists meet and it is easier for Seiten Taisei to hold them with one hand. The other reaches instantly for Sanzo's sutra._

"_No!" Sanzo's panic cannot be suppressed this time. He would never have feared the sutra being shredded by mere claws before—it is a holy relic made by Heaven—but after the wards Seiten Taisei just broke through like paper, he fears anything may be possible._

_To Sanzo's relief, Seiten Taisei hesitates. Sanzo uses this moment to begin chanting, hoping it is low enough so that the beast will not realize what is happening until it is too late. He does not know if he has the ability to summon a limiter without use of his hands, but he can still call on the power of the sutra._

"_Makai--!"_

_A clawed hand clamps over Sanzo's mouth, halting the end of the spell. The grip is so strong Sanzo can barely breathe, let alone speak. When the hand is removed Seiten Taisei immediately runs his claws in shallow strokes over Sanzo's throat, just enough to draw blood._

_Sanzo gets the message. Try that again and I'll rip your throat out, the beast is saying. Sanzo contemplates trying anyway, especially when Seiten Taisei once again reaches for the sutra. Sanzo yells for him to stop, but this time he is ignored. _

_When the sutra is tossed, unharmed, from Sanzo's shoulders to land a few feet away, Sanzo is surprised though greatly relieved. He can no longer use the sutra's power, but at least it is at a safe distance._

_The fact that Seiten Taisei seems to have recognized that Sanzo would worry about the sutra's safety has the monk questioning just how simplistic the animal's mind really is._

_Judging from the gleam in gold eyes and the maintained smirk, Sanzo is certain the beast's intelligence is not what he should be worrying about._

"_Get…off me," Sanzo growls, his words low. A threat._

_Seiten Taisei growls in reply, deep in his chest. This is also a threat, a warning. Suddenly, Sanzo's breastplate is tossed away and claws begin clumsily parting his robes. This act drives home what the creature means to do. Sanzo was aware from the very beginning, but the reality of it is too impossible._

_This thing is not human or youkai, it is a monster, and Sanzo is _not_ its mate. Seiten Taisei seems to think differently._

"_I'm not yours to play with, monkey," Sanzo says, straining against the single hand so easily holding both of his arms above his head, and struggling to lift his body and somehow dislodge himself from capture. _

_If he can just get his hands free, one hand, or twist his body away, he might be able to grab the beast's head and summon a limiter. That is the only sentient thought in Sanzo's head. He isn't thinking he has to stop this creature from claiming him; that thought would be too risky, too nauseating. His only thought is on escape._

"_I said let me go!" Sanzo twists and strains as wildly as he can, but the struggle seems only to excite the beast more._

_Sanzo's shifting lifts his hips up to meet Seiten Taisei's and the creature gives a pleasured hiss. In turn, thinking this a truly marvelous game now, Seiten Taisei grinds down into Sanzo, stilling his prey's movements with sheer unexpected force. A new sound rips from Seiten Taisei's throat, a half-growled rumbling cry that is more like something from Goku than Sanzo would ever want to admit._

_Hearing it has Sanzo more desperate to escape than ever. He can't let this happen. He can't. He can't let this happen _to Goku_. The monkey would never forgive himself. "No, you fucking freak! I don't belong to you!" Sanzo's anger borrows him enough strength to force a knee free, a knee that soon finds itself slamming up into Seiten Taisei's stomach._

_The creature gasps, winded and caught off guard, but the blow is not enough to get the creature to release Sanzo's wrists. Instead, much more narrowed and much angrier eyes focus golden fire on Sanzo's face. The look speaks without any need for words._

_Sanzo is going to pay for that._

_A scream cracks its way out of Sanzo's throat, broken by the utter force of it leaving him. Seiten Taisei has moved both clawed hands to Sanzo's hips with more speed than Sanzo could react to. Through the cloth of Sanzo's robe and black undershirt, claws like blades dig deep into the tender skin surrounding his hips bones. The pain is too great for Sanzo to think about lifting a hand to the beast's forehead. By the time he has thought of it, one of Seiten Taisei's hands is back, holding his wrists down._

_Apparently, this punishment is not enough for the creature, for the hand that has remained free rips at Sanzo robes until the top of them are shreds, revealing the black silk beneath. Seiten Taisei finds the tender skin just under Sanzo's left arm and stabs deeply there as well._

_Sanzo does not scream this time, his teeth clenched as he wills it from being voiced._

_Seiten Taisei is not happy._

_Sanzo steadies his eyes on the creature and growls in a way that sounds nearly as animalistic as the beast above him. "I don't belong to _you_," Sanzo repeats, his voice shaky and softer due to his fatigue and the steady flow of blood from the deep wounds his tormentor has inflicted. _

_Perhaps they are deeper and more deadly than the creature intended. Or…perhaps Seiten Taisei doesn't care either way if Sanzo lives to see the end of this. _

"_I hate you," Sanzo hisses—an oath, a promise—with all his hatred clear in his expression, "I don't fuck monsters."_

_A second scream rips from Sanzo before he can stop it. Blood is pouring into his eyes suddenly, blinding him. Seiten Taisei struck so quickly with his claws, Sanzo doesn't even remember seeing the beast move. His head feels fuzzy, his thoughts dim. The force of the blow was almost enough to knock him out and has probably given him at least a mild concussion. Sanzo does not want to think about the state of his face, but he can feel the burns of the many scratches and the blood soaking his skin._

_His thoughts are fuzzier, his head heavier. The blow _was_ enough to knock him out. He's passing out now, he can feel it. But he can't. He can't leave himself to this. He can't leave Goku to this end. All strength is ebbing out of him, but if he lets it, he will have truly failed his charge for the last time._

_Having silenced his uncooperative prey, Seiten Taisei resumes his fun unhindered, shredding more of the monk's robes, shredding the black silk, and all the while grinding his hips savagely with grunts too bestial to be from Goku._

_This is his only chance, and Sanzo knows it. He won't fail to protect someone else he loves, not even if what Sanzo is protecting Goku from is the monkey's own other half. _

_Not even if it kills Sanzo in the process._

_Lack of strength, loss of blood, it does not matter. Sanzo has to do this. Slowly, he starts to push his wrists up from the ground. _

_Seiten Taisei's grin increases but it will not stop Sanzo, not even when the claws he is pressing up on drive in as deep punctures through his left wrist, leaving it all but useless. Sanzo draws on the strength left in his right arm to press further, not stopping, not willing to stop until he has won._

_Grin fading, Seiten Taisei is too shocked at this continued act to move. He growls in warning, but cannot stop the monk from raising his arms._

_Feeling blood wash over his eyes, Sanzo forces them to open anyway, and though all he can see is a haze of red and the dark outline of the beast above him, he looks straight at the figure, "I do not…belong…to _you_." A final surge forward connects Sanzo's limp left hand with Seiten Taisei's forehead, held in place by the power of Sanzo's right. The final push against claws has Sanzo bleeding more than ever. He knows even while he is chanting for the limiter that the blood spilling from his nearly severed wrist will be fatal._

_He hopes Goku will understand. _

_Once, Sanzo would have explained such an act as being because of the mission, because he has to ensure that someone will live to carry on. Though Sanzo knows the others will continue west, he hopes they know that that is no longer the reason he would give._

_Power flows through Sanzo's fingers and he falls back, exhausted. A moment later he feels the weight of Goku land upon his chest. A moment after that…unconsciousness takes him and the only thing he can think of before succumbing to it is how he wishes he could have done more._

-----

"Hakkai, don't just fucking look at me like that. Tell me. Gods, is…is everyone here, did everyone make it? Please…"

Hakkai still will not speak. Before Gojyo's patience runs any thinner, he leans over to the lamp on the table and turns it up to further illuminate the room.

A morbid thought of finding nothing but empty space fills Gojyo, but as his eyes quickly adjust and Hakkai moves out of Gojyo's view to allow the hanyou to see more of the room, the morbid is only part of what Gojyo sees. Oh, it is not empty space, but it is shocking and hard to look at nonetheless.

In a bed next to Gojyo lies Sanzo, barely breathing, heavily bandaged, and unconscious. Gojyo has seen Sanzo wrapped like a mummy several times, but not so much that half the monk's face is covered in white wrappings as well. Another morbid thought races through Gojyo's mind as he wonders what Sanzo looks like under the gauze. His brain paints another picture of emptiness, of Sanzo with half a face.

Hakkai's sympathetic and reassuring expression makes Gojyo more hopeful, but not by much.

"We were lucky, Gojyo," Hakkai speaks at last, "I must have awoken not long after Sanzo passed out. I healed what wounds I could, though I feared his hand would detach completely if I handled it too much."

This description has Gojyo's eyes wide, his mouth dry and unable to form words to express his wonder.

There is a twitch at the corner of Hakkai's mouth. "His left arm was nearly cut off at the wrist. It took the most work, much for tissue rebuilding and repair. If I had woken any later than I did, the loss of blood would have been too much."

Gojyo realizes suddenly that Hakkai has been speaking in a whisper, but with how dead to the world Sanzo looks, it seems a little unnecessary. It is then that Gojyo remembers their missing member because his eyes fall upon a figure far from the beds, curled up tight in a window seat on the other side of the room.

Gold eyes stare back at Gojyo, defending nothing, saying nothing.

When Hakkai turns his head to meet this golden gaze, both he and Gojyo know that despite any discretion, they _have_ been overheard. Gojyo can tell this is not the first time gold eyes have looked on and heard the words Hakkai just spoke. Hearing them a second time, and several times as they are surely playing inside a guilt-ridden mind, must be the worst kind of torture.

"Goku…"

Goku gives no sign to having heard Gojyo. Soon, gold eyes are no longer looking at them, turned to stare out the window.

Hakkai sighs very deeply before returning his attention to Gojyo.

"Do you feel well enough to get up, Gojyo?" the healer asks, keeping his voice as light as he can manage, "It would do you good to eat something, and a little movement would be helpful as well."

Gojyo understands this as Hakkai-speak for 'we should talk in private.' Gojyo is on his feet a second later, to hell with how his head is spinning.

"Goku, I'm going to fix Gojyo something to eat. Would you like us to bring you something?"

Gold eyes do not turn from the window, but Goku shakes his head.

"Are you sure? You haven't eaten since…" Hakkai trails off. Goku's shoulders have tensed though the monkey made no other response. The tension, however, seems to be enough to keep Hakkai from pressing further. "Call if there is any change. We won't be long."

Once the pair is out in the hallway, Gojyo has an instant urge to break into speech, but he holds back, knowing that Goku's senses reach beyond thin walls. He follows Hakkai down a small flight of stairs, through a corridor, and into a kitchen. Judging by the size of the place and the general silence, Gojyo imagines them to be in one of those rentable cottages they have sometimes stumbled upon in larger towns. Given the circumstance, he is grateful for it.

Hakkai begins rummaging through the kitchen for food, as promised, but Gojyo is not interested in eating. He walks over to his friend and grabs the man's arm before Hakkai can pick up the frying pan he had been reaching for. The expression on Hakkai's face when he turns towards Gojyo is of a man sobbing without tears.

Gojyo pulls Hakkai into a hug without even thinking.

Only when it becomes difficult for Gojyo to breath does he try to pull from the embrace. He does not pull away completely, keeping his arms around Hakkai's waist. "You're scaring me shitless, you know that?" Gojyo says with a crooked smile. "Is it really as bad as I'm thinking?"

"I…I suppose…it isn't really," Hakkai says with much effort, his eyes still dry, but his face wholly grave and humorless, "Sanzo…we…we've been through such things with Sanzo before. He is badly injured, but…if he survives the night, he…should…"

"He should make it, but there's no guarantee."

Hakkai nods, grateful enough at Gojyo's rescue to offer a small smile.

"And monkey-boy isn't eating."

Hakkai nods again.

"Hasn't spoken a word, I bet."

Again.

"Borderline suicidal if the kid had those kind 'a urges."

Hakkai stands still, but the shifting tendons in his neck betray him.

"What the fuck _happened_, Hakkai?"

It is not easy for Hakkai to explain what he surmised upon finding Goku and Sanzo, but slowly the healer begins to speak, adding again the again the disclaimer that Seiten Taisei never actually 'violated' Sanzo as one might think. Disclaimer or not, Gojyo and Hakkai both know that 'never actually' couldn't possibly be enough for Goku.

"So the monk hasn't woken up yet?"

"No. His pulse is weak, his breathing shallow. There was much blood to be replaced. The doctor that came, he…he said there was nothing to do but wait and hope Sanzo's fever comes down sometime tonight. If not…"

"Right."

Emerald eyes tilt up, staring straight into crimson, and looking drier than should be natural, even if he wasn't emotionally shredded. "Gojyo…we really should get you something to eat. And you should sit down. You shouldn't be up. I lied about that to get us out of the room, but…you have a concussion from the blow you took, so…please…" Hakkai's words are too disjointed for him to finish his thought completely, but he motions for Gojyo to take a chair at the small kitchen table. Gojyo only listens because he knows it will ease Hakkai's mind, if only a little.

There is a very static silence that overtakes them as Gojyo watches Hakkai heat up the stove and begin cooking. The healer nearly drops something several times; his hands are trembling so hard. The vulnerability displayed so openly, with no hope of being veiled, is more telling than any stumbling words.

Gojyo is on his feet again, ignoring his pounding head. He slips up behind Hakkai at the stove and wraps his arms around the other man's waist, startling Hakkai enough to cause a slight clang as the frying pan is disrupted. Hakkai is only so jumpy, so easily snuck up upon when he is trapped somewhere very far away.

"So tell me…what part haven't you told me yet?"

"I…don't know what you mean, Gojyo…"

"You tryin' to swindle me, 'Kai? You should know better than that by now."

"Gojyo…"

"Tell me."

Still no tears, Gojyo can tell that much, but he wonders if it is only true because too many were shed while Gojyo was still sleeping. "I…shouldn't be so…preoccupied with it," Hakkai begins, his head bent and body still turned towards the stove as Gojyo clings to him from behind, "It was only…that…when I first went to Sanzo…to help him…"

Gojyo may not be known for having patience, but he has all he needs in the world to wait for Hakkai to find the strength to continue on.

"Gojyo…his…pulse. I felt his pulse stop."

Reverence alone keeps Gojyo silent.

"Sanzo was dead. Fully and truly dead. And I panicked. I poured so much ki into his body, with every bit of breath in me, I nearly passed out again myself. I discovered every emotion man can feel in those moments. The last…was anger. So much anger. I must have pounded his chest a dozen times, each time daring to be the last, taunting me that it would never be enough. It's a wonder he came back to us, Gojyo. I don't know how I managed. My strength…there was not even the slightest left in me, and yet…he lived. I closed the last of his wounds, gathered everyone into Jiipu, and…well."

Well.

Gojyo would laugh if there was anything funny about Hakkai having to pick up their battered bodies yet again. Gojyo knows first hand how difficult it is to lift each of his companions into the jeep and somehow find the strength to get to a town, praying all the while that they live. But Hakkai had _felt_ death this time, felt it in his own hands.

Gojyo hugs Hakkai so tight from behind it does not surprise him when Hakkai gasps for air, clutching just as tightly at Gojyo's arms.

This is still not everything, Gojyo thinks. But he doesn't have to ask to know what other thoughts are running through his friend's head. Hakkai is a masochist at heart; he lives off self-pity. Gojyo has been working on breaking him of the habit for over three years, but there has been little progress. Yes, Gojyo knows how Hakkai is tormenting himself just now, not just in rounds of 'I should have done more,' 'It was my fault,' 'I failed those I care for yet again,' but also in a mantra of…'This is why I am a monster.'

This is why I need these cuffs.

"I suppose saying 'let's give it a go' _now_ would be the last thing you'd want to hear."

"Gojyo!" Hakkai says in a scandalized voice, "This is hardly an appropriate time to be thinking about _that_."

It takes a minute for Gojyo to catch up. When he does, he can't stop laughing. "I meant your limiters, wise-ass. But if you wanna talk about fucking, I'm _always_ up for that discussion."

Still having a hold on Hakkai from behind, Gojyo knows his friend is bright red even without seeing the change in shade for himself. He also knows, by the sound of Hakkai's voice and lack of tension in the man's body, that he has done his duty well.

Saying the right thing at the right time is just part of his charm.

"Gojyo…I…I didn't mean to imply--"

"Oh yes you did. You meant very much to imply that I was talking about sex. And it's okay. I usually am."

There is a very small, hesitant laugh. "I apologize."

"No need." Gojyo assures.

"…thank you."

"Now…" the redhead begins anew, his voice holding a bit more seriousness than before, "Don't think I'm gonna let you off the hook just coz you guessed wrong. I _was_ talking about your limiters. Meaning, I'm not a complete dipshit. I know your self-hating little brain is thinking up all kinds 'a reasons not to try practicing for yourself."

"Gojyo--"

"_Can_ it."

Hakkai is spun around so quickly the room is still spinning when Gojyo's grip on him tightens, now with a hand holding each of Hakkai's upper arms. Jewel-toned eyes lock intensely and Hakkai has a knee-jerk reaction to look away.

Gojyo will have none of that, "Look at me. We're talking about this," he says, shaking Hakkai with only the slightest amount of force. The action is enough to lift green eyes up again. "I know it scares you, huh. And I get it. But you're not Goku. You're so different you're not even in the same sphere. You won't hurt me, Hakkai, I know you won't."

"Please, Gojyo…"

"Hakkai--"

"Why do you even want this?" Hakkai presses on. His face scrunches in near-anger, though he does not try to free himself of Gojyo's hold. "Why are you so adamant about this, Gojyo? It doesn't concern you."

Gojyo's face scrunches in _definite_ anger. "Doesn't concern me. Me. Your best friend. Your…whatever the hell else I am to you. It doesn't concern _me_?"

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Hakkai says quickly, only too happy to ask forgiveness, "I just don't understand why this is so important. Even if Goku and I are very different, and I _know_ we are, clearly what we have seen shows us the possible danger of such actions. Your faith in me is welcome, Gojyo, but not smart. The truth is we don't know what might happen, just as we were mistaken with Seiten Taisei."

"But you're _different_," Gojyo breaks in, "And it's important because…because…because damn it I don't want you handing Hakuryuu over to me again, telling me to leave you on your own!" Gojyo's words are so strong in conviction they throw Hakkai off guard, leaving the other man speechless. "The next time that happens it's gonna be a fight even you can't win, Hakkai. I don't want you to send me away. I want you to know you can trust yourself enough to still fight side by side with us even if a fight needs the extra muscle. I need to know I can always be there if something happens. You of all people gotta understand that."

Of course, Hakkai most certainly does.

"We can wait 'til things settle down," Gojyo says more gently, "But let me be a selfish bastard…and at least say you'll try."

A smile born of sympathy, understanding, and the greatest of affections answers before Hakkai even thinks to nod his assent. The healer is not soothed, but he will indeed try. Because his understanding of Gojyo's position runs so deep, he would force himself to agree even if the fear in him was greater than his affection.

Eventually, Gojyo and Hakkai part close company, with Gojyo back in his seat at the table and Hakkai busily making something for them both to eat. They speak little during their quickly shared meal, not wanting to leave Goku alone any more than they have to. When they have finished, sitting in contented silence for perhaps longer than they would normally feel a need to, Gojyo is the first to speak.

"Guess we better go back up there and make sure the monkey isn't molesting his master again."

Hakkai frowns at Gojyo as the hanyou gets up from the table. "That isn't funny, Gojyo."

Only half a smirk manages to work its way onto Gojyo's face as he returns Hakkai's look. "I know. But what can I say. Humor is my defense mechanism."

Getting up slowly from the table, Hakkai quirks an eyebrow at Gojyo's declaration. "Your defense mechanism?"

"Yeah," Gojyo replies, feeling rather proud of his self-analysis.

Hakkai stares on incredulously.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. You're the one I learn this shit from."

Hakkai just shakes his head, but there is a smile, the bare traces of a blooming smile, beginning to form along his lips. Gojyo feels justified in every word he has spoken, because once again its end result has been fruitful. He would take any job if it paid in ways to make Hakkai smile for _real_.

Few words are spoken again as the pair walks up the stairs and heads for Sanzo and Goku's bedroom. Hakkai explained to Gojyo that there is another bedroom for the two of them, and that he isn't entirely sure if Goku will insist on staying with Sanzo or insist on switching rooms to keep his distance. Neither would surprise him.

Quietly, they enter the room, Gojyo carrying a few meatbuns left by the keeper of the cottage when he brought their groceries over earlier. Delivery isn't usually part of the service, but the keeper made an exception.

Gojyo has a feeling seeing and smelling the kid's favorite treat will have Goku forgetting he had shaken his head at food.

Coming upon Sanzo's bed, Gojyo and Hakkai stand a little stunned at first but are soon sharing supportive smiles. Gojyo sets the meatbuns he had brought on the nightstand and Hakkai carefully checks Sanzo's fever. It isn't as low as he would like, but it is better than it had been earlier. Gojyo and Hakkai debate making themselves comfortable in the other bed, but eventually choose to leave entirely and head for the room next door.

Glancing behind them as they leave, the sight of Goku snuggled close to Sanzo's side, his head gently resting on the monk's bandaged chest as he soundly sleeps, gives the pair hope that even the most recent of horrors can be overcome.

tbc...

A/N: How'd I do on the suspense factor with this one, huh? Let me know. Didn't mean to worry you, but...yeah I did. :-) We'll get more with Gojyo and Hakkai and we'll see how well Sanzo is managing with his injuries next time. And don't forget about those at Houtou Castle too. You guys are keeping up with me nicely and I'm glad you seem to be enjoying this. I hope this chapter satisfied all. Let me know, especially if something bothered you or doesn't make sense. Reviewers have been really good about that and I want to keep it that way. Coz I love making sure everyone's on relatively the same page, and I love hearing from you guys too. Okay, off I go. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Crim


	8. Dig a Little Deeper

Dig a Little Deeper

* * *

Everything has to be perfect. A single flaw in the plan could be their downfall and such an outcome is not an option. A misstep in any way could have him and his companions captured or worse. The worst ending up in Nii's grasp, of course.

Kougaiji already suspects Nii is up to something more sinister than originally planned, whether or not the final outcome still centers on resurrecting Gyumaou. The truth is Kougaiji could care less about raising his father, especially if something twisted involving his sister is what the good doctor has in mind.

Right now Kougaiji's goal is to discover just how many troops and middle men would sooner choose his side than his stepmother's or Nii's. It is not easy to gauge a soldier's loyalty when at every turn one may try to prove loyal to whoever is speaking, and is usually distrustful of anyone hoping to trip them up. Kougaiji has to choose his words carefully. He may say "Would you follow me anywhere, regardless of the circumstances?" but if the soldier bows to Nii or Gyokumen Koushu, this one phrase could be the end before Kougaiji and his friends have even begun.

One thing is certain, regardless of risk the prince must do all he can to secure support before retuning to speak to the Sanzo-ikkou. A raid on the castle, even with eight rather than four, may not be enough if the castle's army chooses to be wholly loyal to their Lady's cause.

Returning from a particularly fruitful stroll with a few of the West perimeter's guards, Kougaiji is fairly certain they would turn a blind eye to any actions he might carry out in the days ahead, including letting a few hunted enemies onto the premises. He tries not to smile too obviously, but a devilish smirk is twitching at the corner of the youkai prince's mouth. The thought of undermining his stepmother's plans is too perfect. The thought of undermining Nii, right beneath the doctor's nose, is even better.

"You look especially jubilant today…your highness."

The twitch at Kougaiji's lips dissipates. Nii stands a good distance ahead of him. Although Kougaji continues his forward approach, this is clearly the last person he hoped to encounter.

"Are you well, my prince?" Nii asks when they have neared one another further. The doctor's hands are in his coat pockets nonchalantly, his favored bunny under his arm.

Kougaiji barely even glances at him. "I am better on the days our paths do not cross," he says shortly, eyes trained forward. He clips ahead, each footfall sounding sharply and carrying him further down the hall.

When he comes parallel to Nii, the sinister man speaks again. "How goes the campaign, your highness?" he asks, pausing in his step and pivoting slowly to follow Kougaiji's continued movements.

"Aren't you the one responsible for sending the next assassin upon the Sanzo party?" Kougaiji replies, passing Nii with ease and not once slowing his purposeful pace.

"Mm. But that implies the campaign I meant has something to do with our Lady's orders."

Kougaiji stops abruptly, not even realizing his feet have ceased to move until he can no longer will them forward. A chill like frozen drops of water falling pit, pit, pat down his spin keeps him paralyzed when the sound of Nii's laughter filters back to him. Kougaiji spins on his heel with a ready glare, but the doctor is already moving down the hall in the opposite direction, his laughter echoing ominously behind him.

-----

The world is far too bright the first time a recently unconscious person opens their eyes. Everything is glaring white. Painful white. When Sanzo opens his eyes, blinking to adjust more quickly to the glare of so much white in his vision, he realizes that the room itself is far too dark for so much white to be before him.

That is until he notices the curious snout and attached red eyes to this particular bundle of white.

"What the hell do _you_ want…?"

Sanzo voice croaks out of him, hoarse and unused. Having much experience with this, the amount of disuse in his voice has him guessing he has been out for the better part of a day and most of the night. This realization makes him less agreeable than usual upon waking to a small dragon sitting on his chest, looking curiously at him with a cocked head.

"Well…?"

"Kyuu?"

"I'm fine."

"Kyu!"

Sanzo takes this to be some sort of dragon exclamation of joy judging by the gentle nudge that is added to this. Thankfully, it is the area around his hips that has taken the most damage, so a snout digging affectionately into his chest is generally painless. Painless…if the whole idea of Hakuryuu being affectionate with him wasn't absolutely ridiculous.

Reaching out on instinct, Sanzo's first reaction is to swat the thing off of him, but his hand is gently petting the creature's head before he can stop himself. Hakuryuu 'kyuus' happily. Sanzo shakes his head.

"Don't get comfortable, dragon. This doesn't mean you can sleep with me."

Hakuryuu lifts his head and with a series of bobs appears to nod before gesturing with his long neck to the left side of the bed. Sanzo follows the dragon's line of sight, discovering a tightly curled lump of short limps and muscle, atop of which rests a mass of shaggy brown hair and the glittering gold of a coronet.

Relief floods through Sanzo's tense and nervous heart, and for the briefest moment he wonders if the events before had merely been another one of his nightmares. When he tries to lift his left arm to better pull the boy against him, proving only to fail with his wrist still limp and useless, he knows better than to put too much faith in dreams.

Goku is snuggled close against him, head just off his chest, though he imagines it was probably right there on top of it before sleep shifted him away. Part of the boy's body has contact with part of Sanzo's all the way from head to toe, forming him perfectly against the priest's side. Sanzo wonders why he had not felt Goku's body immediately, but figures his half-numb state is a blessing brought on by pain medication he will not dispute taking.

"He's got the sleeping with me part covered, huh?" Sanzo says to the dragon, interpreting the little creature's message.

Hakuryuu gives a slight flap of his wings.

"Worried about me, is he?"

Hakuryuu flaps again.

"All of them worried?"

Hakuryuu dips his head in another one of his strange nods, as if to mean he too is included in those worrying over Sanzo's health.

Sanzo strokes the dragon's head again, continuing the gesture down Hakuryuu's long, scaled neck. "Like the stupid monkey could ever be the end of _me_…"

The hesitance of Sanzo's words is not the only reason for Hakuryuu looking skeptical.

Before the monk can come up with a more believable comeback, the door to the bedroom opens, creaking just slightly as it allows a sliver of light to enter the otherwise dark room. Sanzo watches Hakkai become visible as the healer slips inside, shutting the door softly behind him. Hakkai looks to the bed a moment later and nearly jumps at discovering a pair of violet eyes looking back at him.

"Goodness. I didn't expect you'd be awake yet," he says, dawning a smile easily with the relief of seeing Sanzo better than he expected. He steps quietly towards the bed, "I merely came to collect Hakuryuu. Forgive me for leaving you, little friend," he adds to the dragon.

Hakuryuu 'kyus' but does not seem overly upset. A flurry of white and rustling of wings carries the dragon to his master's shoulder where Hakkai dutifully pets him.

"How do you feel?" Hakkai asks Sanzo, keeping his voice low for Goku's sake. He moves around the bed until he is standing just off Sanzo's right. A cool hand reaches out to the monks face, finding his skin warm and damp, but not as heated as it had been before. Hakkai looks content at this finding. "Better than I could have hoped. Your constitution is rather remarkable, Sanzo." He smiles.

"I'm fine. Quit fussing." Sanzo barks back, though in a tired and quiet manner. When Hakkai's hand lingers, first on his forehead before moving delicately over Sanzo's face and to his neck, he does not protest or swipe the hand away.

It is then Sanzo realizes why Hakkai is lingering so strangely on the _right_ side of his face. His dulled senses have fooled him again, for until now Sanzo did not notice his left side is covered completely, even blinding his left eye.

Hakkai's touch falls away, but Sanzo's usable hand takes its place, moving quickly from right to left and meeting the coarse fabric of gauze. Vaguely, he remembers the strike Seiten Taisei dealt him and the blood that had fall into his eyes. The panic that grips him now, though he banishes it quickly, has Hakkai speaking almost immediately.

"The eye is fine, Sanzo," the healer says, "In my haste I neglected to leave a place for it in the wrappings. Forgive me. When I change the bandages later, I will make sure to remedy that."

Sanzo is not so easily soothed. His eye is fine, but what of the rest of him? What of the face he cannot see and the arm he cannot move? It is more than vanity that makes him wonder, though vanity certainly has its place. To have a limb of no use would be a handicap capable of costing him his life.

The thought that he had recently accepted oncoming death offers Sanzo little solace.

The bed shifts with extra weight as Hakkai sits on the edge of the bed. Hakuryuu remains perched on his shoulder, ever-vigilant of Sanzo and of the still slumbering boy next to him. "The damage was quite severe when I found you," Hakkai begins, his countenance wholly serious and calm, as if he has had time to prepare himself for the speech to come, "The punctures around your hips and below your left arm should heal easily. The wrist…you will have to regain more slowly."

_If at all_, Sanzo supplies, though nothing in Hakkai's manner indicates this is true.

"As for your face…" The length Hakkai pauses has Sanzo looking up to meet emerald steadily. Once locked, Hakkai cannot look away and finds himself speaking even with the intensity of Sanzo's eyes boring up at him. "I don't know, Sanzo. I honestly cannot say. As I said, I was hasty when bandaging you. There was…much blood. The face, anywhere on the head as I am sure you know, bleeds far more freely than--"

"Get to the fucking point already."

Hakkai pulls back, stealing himself before leaning forward, this time far closer than he had been before. At this range Hakkai can see every spec of lavender in the violet of Sanzo's eyes. "It may scar. Badly. But then…it may not scar at all. I will know in a few days time. I'll change the wrappings in the morning. Perhaps I will know more then. But Sanzo…"

"What?"

Emeralds drift to the sleeping form at Sanzo's side and a smile tugs at Hakkai's thin and straight-lined mouth. "We are well. We are all well," he says, "And that you have found your way back to us, I…I mean _we_, of course…are content in knowing there will still be a party of four in the journey west." Hakkai's smile pushes fully onto his face now, lighting his eyes with a silent and yet more obvious sign of relief and happiness.

Sanzo scowls, feeling honestly sick to his stomach. "Don't give me this sappy shit," he warns, "I'm not your--"

Something in Hakkai's eyes darken to such a deep shade of jade suddenly that Sanzo cuts off of his own accord. The phrase had come to him on reflex, but Hakkai's look coupled with the feel of Goku against him and the knowledge of how far the group has come in so short a time has Sanzo rethinking his words.

What are these men—Hakkai most of all, Sanzo realizes—if not friends?

The smile that graces Hakkai's face now has Sanzo pretty certain his own expression must have given him away, and damn the healer for looking so smug about it.

"You say one word to that fucking kappa…"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good."

"Perhaps one day you can tell him yourself."

Sanzo snorts. There is a higher probability of him wearing a god damn dress than calling Gojyo 'friend' out loud.

"Whether or not you choose to grace us with the honor of speaking such endearments aloud, Sanzo, you can be assured…" Hakkai pauses just long enough to fill his smile with pure, genuine affection, holding not even the hint of his occasional swindling nature, "We feel very much the same about you."

Now Sanzo is certain he feels sick to his stomach. This is way too much sentiment for one day. At least with Goku he can have the comfort of calling the boy 'stupid monkey' on occasion. With Hakkai there has never been a buffer, only their unspoken connection in the rain and Hakkai's perceived debt towards Sanzo.

It makes everything so much harder with Hakkai because the intimacy between them is built on comfort and silence. Could Sanzo ever say that about Goku? Certainly not. And though he would never admit it, he would never wish for such a thing with the chimp. People play different roles in one another's lives. With Hakkai…Sanzo finds a true and easy friendship he cannot embrace the way Gojyo does. He doesn't know how.

Not yet.

"Get out of here already. And take the parrot with you."

Hakkai laughs very softly, if only to keep his voice low and refrain from waking Goku. Hakuryuu gives a slightly affending 'kyu' for being referred to by his most hated petname. The dragon reminds himself to swipe a bit of Gojyo's food next chance he gets for making up the name in the first place.

A simple nod is offered before Hakkai leaves Sanzo, taking Hakuryuu with him. Sanzo stares at the door a few moments, trying not to think about the implications of the words that passed—and those that didn't—even while such thoughts are raging through him, unstoppable.

Briefly closing his eyes against his fatigue, both mentally and physically, he speaks without needing to look at his companion. "You can stop pretending," he says, "I know you're up, monkey."

Goku instantly shifts, hating to admit how Sanzo has so easily pegged him, but knows there would be no point in feigning further. Gold eyes blink open, but Goku barely moves other than his slight shifting. "I…wasn't awake the whole time." He lies.

Sanzo huffs, turning his eyes apathetically towards his snuggled companion. Goku will not look up at him. "Lying now? To _me_?" The last two words are a clear dare.

"No…"

Sanzo says nothing.

"Well…maybe. But I…I didn't mean to listen in. I was just…awake."

"You're so annoying," Sanzo says like reflex, his tone flat, unreadable. The tenderness Goku is used to does not quite penetrate Sanzo's words, but the monk's right hand moves across his chest to find a place in Goku's hair. "What am I supposed to do with you? Always getting into trouble. Always causing me trouble. I should leave you behind for good this time, hmm?"

Goku doesn't reply, but his head bucks up at Sanzo's hand like a cat demanding further attention.

Sanzo complies, stroking the surprisingly soft strands of hair. He sighs. "Couldn't get rid of you even if I wanted. I'd hear your voice no matter how far apart we were. It's my curse, getting stuck with you."

The reaction Sanzo keeps expecting still does not come, and Goku merely nods into his side, digging his nose against Sanzo's ribs. Sanzo tries to move his left arm, wanting to pull Goku closer, if such a thing were even possible, or to at least have that support there to prove to Goku he isn't going to disappear as the monkey seems to fear.

Is that why Goku won't look at him? Is he afraid Sanzo will be gone if he dares look?

The muscles in Sanzo's left arm are still usable, but the near-paralysis that captures it from halfway past his elbow and further down into his hand makes it difficult to do more than slide the appendage along the mattress. Sanzo's stubbornness has him sliding with all the strength in him anyway, until the useless arm touches Goku's back.

The monkey must have been so careful when he shifted the injured arm to make room in the bed, and he flinches when he feels it touching him, as if any contact will surely cause further injury.

Sanzo sighs again. "Knock it off," he commands, his violet eyes narrowed, still trained on Goku though the boy will not look back at him, "I'm not going to break. And just what the hell are you being so agreeable for? This is the part where you yell at me for being stupid and unprepared. Isn't that who Goku is now? Or is he just a little boy from that damn cave again?"

This accusation causes Goku to flinch as if the lingering hand atop his head just smacked him. "I…I don't know, Sanzo…" he says.

"Yes you do," Sanzo counters gruffly, "You know exactly who you are, just as you promised me. You're strong. Aren't you? Isn't that what you told me? What you swore to me?"

"But I…I…"

"You what? You hurt me? You didn't do _anything_. He did. And this time I can't blame you for taking the limiter off or letting it break, because we all played a part in removing it. This is not your fault, Goku." Sanzo knows just how important these words are and he says them clearly. He will not go through the same things again. He will not allow Goku to kick himself every time something like this happens. Not over him. "So unless you're changing your mind about being strong and beating this…then you better start yelling at _me_. I'm the one who messed up."

The narrow shoulders huddled against Sanzo slowly begin to shake, and Sanzo is reminded of a teakettle near the bursting point. "Why do you have to say that!" the kettle cries, exploding into an upright position and knocking Sanzo's good hand from being nestled in his hair. "It doesn't matter if it's him because it's still _me_." Goku says firmly, pounding his hand down into the mattress as quivering, tear-ready eyes stare back at Sanzo for the first time. "Don't you get it? I'm not beating him, I'm beating _me_. _I_ hurt you. I hurt Sanzo…"

Goku's head drops, hanging limp. A few freed tears fall to land on Sanzo's bare chest and slide along his skin towards the wrappings on his hips. Sanzo barely feels them.

"I…I don't ever want to hurt you like this again…ever…"

And Sanzo suddenly gets it. Seiten Taisei has injured Hakkai and Gojyo badly, but never Sanzo, never to this extent. It was always Sanzo who brought Goku _back_. The monk succeeded once again but not without paying a price never before paid.

Somewhere in the back of Goku's mind he always assumed Seiten Taisei couldn't touch Sanzo, not in a way that would ever truly hurt him. To be proven wrong so powerfully, so horribly, has Goku hating more than just the monster inside.

"Fuck." Sanzo rests his head fully back, staring up at the ceiling. He had accepted death. He had expected it. And though he knew it would hurt Goku regardless of the final outcome, being here with the aftermath, seeing Goku suffer, it almost has him wishing Hakkai wasn't as adept a healer as he is.

When Sanzo lowers his eyes again he sees that Goku is crying but looking right at him. There is so much guilt in the expression Sanzo feels a sudden surge of tears rise up in him. He squelches the urge quickly. He can't afford to cry now. Not when Goku needs him to be strong.

"Didn't I tell you to knock that off?"

Sanzo reaches out with his good hand, grabbing Goku by the back of the neck and pulls, causing the boy to clumsily land on top of his chest. The sudden tumble has part of Goku's body hitting Sanzo's hips, aggravating the wounds there. Sanzo forces back a hiss; Goku does not need to know how much that hurt.

"Listen, and don't interrupt," the monk warns, holding Goku's head at the crook of his neck and feeling the boy's uneven breathes strike his bare skin. "_He_ hurt me, _you_ hurt, big fucking deal. We've gotten hurt plenty of times on this journey, all of us."

Goku struggles against Sanzo's firm hold.

"Shut up," Sanzo says before the monkey can even try speaking, "You're _listening_. Now, maybe it _is_ fair to say you and that…other part of you are one and the same. You can't escape him. But you _can_ beat him. That's what you want, what you said you wanted. And we're going to do it. If it happens again that he gets free and tries to…pull something like he did, then we'll deal with that just like we are now. I'm okay. Hakkai and the kappa are fine. You're fine. It doesn't matter. Understand?"

More questions and dissentions rise up in Goku than he can count, but in the end, with the feel of Sanzo holding him close and the scent of Sanzo right in his nose and so comforting, has Goku nodding before he can even think to speak out.

Sanzo forgives him. Sanzo doesn't even question it. So why should he?

"I'm strong…" Goku whimpers, his voice cracking as more tears begin to fall, soaking Sanzo's skin. "I'm strong…I am…I'm…strong…"

A feeling of helplessness overcomes Sanzo, mocking how he is so desperate be the support this time. Hugging Goku as close as he can, Sanzo ignores the strange feel of wetness from the boy's tears, but what more can he do? Suddenly, Goku is indeed the boy from the cave, fragile and in need of him. But Sanzo is not the sun.

He realizes then for the first time that he wishes he was. He wishes he could be the sun and that he could live up to all the glory Goku imagines of him. He wishes he could shine as brightly as Goku has always shined for him. And all he can do is continue to hold Goku, praying that it is enough and that eventually, when Goku's tears still, the strong, confident man Goku has become will show his face again.

"I'm strong, Sanzo…I _am_…"

Sanzo says the only thing he can think of that isn't a lie. "I know you are…"

-----

"I'm not afraid of my youkai self, Gojyo. Just the man that made him."

When Gojyo once again brought up the subject of Hakkai's limiters this was Hakkai's response. Gojyo has therefore been contemplating the meaning of these words for several minutes, lying in his bed with his eyes staring dumbly at the ceiling.

Oh how Gojyo wants to press his friend for more, but on such a touchy subject he is hesitant. He tilts his head down to get a view of his roommate who is currently settling Hakuryuu into a bed on the windowsill made of the healer's sash. The way Hakkai fusses and frets over the dragon is almost endearing, though to be honest Gojyo would much rather have Hakkai dotting on him.

First things first, however. Gojyo braces himself for the worst. "So…when you say you're afraid of…Gonou…do you mean _now_?" Gojyo broaches this carefully, eyes glued to Hakkai's back to detect any sign of discomfort.

So far so good. "Sometimes," the healer replies, apparently content with his tucking-in of Hakuryuu. He turns towards Gojyo and offers a small smile. "Other times I choose simply not to think of him."

"It's funny," Gojyo starts again, lifting his arms back behind his head to support it, "We always talk about Gonou like he's another person."

"He is." Hakkai says, as if no more needs to be said on the matter.

Gojyo follows the healer with his eyes, watching as his friend comes around the other bed and sits on its edge facing Gojyo. "Yeah, but…he is and he isn't, ya know?"

"Meaning what, exactly?" Hakkai presses. Gojyo doesn't entirely like the look that is slowly creeping into his friend's expression, as if the wrong move might signal a very destructive end.

"Uhhh…ya know…just that…how Goku and Seiten Taisei are still the same person but different parts. It's not the same with you, but…it…kinda is. Right?"

The growing darkness in Hakkai lessens but does not disappear. "I…suppose that's true," he says, "After all, Seiten Taisei and my other self have many things in common."

Gojyo turns his head to better study his friend, a single red eyebrow rising in question.

"Both have a rather unhealthy lust for blood that cannot go unnoticed."

Gojyo replies with a humorless laugh, "Yeah…guess I can't argue with that," he says. He pauses just barely a moment, but takes the pause to ready himself. "Still…is it the lust for blood that scares you, or…something else?" He poses this question knowing full well he is continuing to tread dangerous territory. He plods along, though, wanting to find the light at the end of the too dark tunnel Hakkai so often hides in.

Hakkai seems to contemplate this for a long time but does not look as fearsome as Gojyo imagined the healer might. "I suppose…what I fear more…is becoming him again. No," Hakkai says quickly, "Not again, for Gonou is long dead now and will remain so. Only…I fear sometimes that Hakkai might find himself down a similar path one day, only to come to a similar end."

This being the first time Gojyo has ever heard his friend speak of himself in such obvious third person, Gojyo is disturbed by the truth he has managed to draw out. He suspected as much, that Hakkai worries over becoming like his old self, but to hear it and to hear it in such a way…

"I'm sorry, Gojyo, I…don't mean to upset you."

Gojyo shakes his head. He could curse himself for displaying his emotions so openly. Getting up into a sitting position, Gojyo faces Hakkai, their knees almost touching due to the small distance between the beds. "I'm not upset. I just…worry about you," Gojyo says, and all his worry shows plainly on is face despite him having just chastised himself for being so obvious, "I figured you thought about shit like that, and…damn it, Hakkai, _don't_. Even if you did end up in another situation like what happened with Kanan--"

"Do not speak on this matter further, Gojyo."

Gojyo stops his speech instantly. All patience and tenderness in Hakkai's tone has vanished, leaving behind something surprisingly cold. Gojyo almost shivers upon hearing it and can no longer suppress it when his eyes meet darkened jade.

"It need not be spoken that if such a fate were to befall me again…I would surely react just as Gonou did. You know this as well as I, Gojyo. Please do not tempt fate by trying to say otherwise."

Every bit of conviction in Gojyo's body would swear he has never been quite so frightened of Hakkai as he is this moment. It is not a threat Hakkai is speaking but it is much more than a promise. It is warning. A prophecy. And the breadth of it strikes Gojyo like a blow to the head. If anything ever happens to him, Sanzo, or Goku…Hakkai will snap. Gojyo would not have taken such a thought seriously if Hakkai was not just now looking at him and practically swearing it will be so.

How close had Sanzo come to death this time? And Hakkai had been there to feel the life leave him. Gojyo no longer wonders if Hakkai's lack of tears is due to so many falling while the rest of them were sleeping. It isn't a question anymore.

"Hakkai…"

"…yes, Gojyo?"

"I'm an idiot. The biggest fuckup you'll ever have the displeasure of knowing." Gojyo pauses, allowing the hint of a smirk. "But that's why ya love me, right?"

Hearing Hakkai laugh, not darkly but wonderfully real as the sound spills suddenly from his lips is enough to have Gojyo forgiving himself everything.

"Gojyo-chan, the early years?" Gojyo puts forth, deciding offering himself up is the best way to repay Hakkai for how he was so thoughtless.

The cold in Hakkai's tone and vicious light in his eyes is gone. He really does shift like no other man ever could. The healer nods agreement. "You'll have to scoot over then," he says, standing from his perch on the opposing bed. "All must be fair after all, so we really should recreate how things went with _my_ early years as perfectly as possible."

Gojyo couldn't more heartedly agree.

The pair settles into Gojyo's bed, it being the closest to the door and therefore most prudent should something happen with their companions. This time they lay with their heads already on scrunched pillows and with the blanket pulled up so they can drift off as soon as Gojyo's stories wear thin.

"You already know the childhood stuff, so…should I start _after_ Mom?"

"I know everything?"

"Not much else to tell about that time in my life. I was only eight. There was me, Jien, and Mom, and you know how that turned out."

Hakkai nods into his pillow, head turned as Gojyo's is so they can look one another in the eye as the stories unfold. "Aa. And I suppose I am rather curious to hear how an eight-year-old survived on his own. What did you do to get by?"

"Bet you can guess at first," Gojyo says with a crooked smile, "Not much for a little kid to do but pick-pocket. And I'll tell ya somethin' else: I _sucked_ at it," Gojyo laughs, "Worst you'd ever seen."

Hakkai echoes Gojyo's laugh, but there is something tense and false in the sounds leaving the kappa, leading Hakkai to believe there is something sinister yet to come that Gojyo is avoiding.

"Yeah…pretty bad on that front. Moved up to real theft pretty quick. I was a little better at that, but I still got caught more times than I got away. Lucky for me the folks 'round town didn't know the signs of a half-breed. The nicer folks handed me food without me even having to beg, and I could usually scrounge for some kinda shelter most nights. You'd be surprised how fast those first years went."

Laying as still as he can, though Hakkai has several urges to fidget, the healer nods in understanding, "It must have gotten more difficult as you aged to get the townspeople to pity you," he says, "Not that a young adolescent is any less pitiable than a child, but I know how much easier it is for some people to turn away."

Something in Gojyo's expression twitches as if he means to frown but won't allow it. Frankly, Gojyo is kicking himself for willingly diving into all this, even if he feels he deserve it after leading Hakkai down such a dark path.

Hakkai notices the tension beginning to rise in his companion, but sees it as a sign that what Gojyo is coming upon is something he very much wants to know, even if it will be difficult to hear.

"Gojyo...when the townspeople's kindness began to wear down…how did you continue to survive?"

The frowning twitch returns, tugging at Gojyo's mouth persistently. "I'm really gonna have to tell you, aren't I?"

"Gojyo?"

"Don't look too hard on it, huh, I was just a dumb, hungry kid in the end. I didn't know any…better—ah shit. That sounds just as pathetic as I ever thought it would. There was no excuse, okay? I needed cash, I needed to eat, I needed a lot 'a things, and it was the only option left as far as I could see it, so…"

"Gojyo…"

Crimson eyes disappear behind tightly closed lids. Somehow, Gojyo always thought he could keep this last bit of information to himself. He has managed to keep it from Hakkai for so long, and none of the people who would recall his deeds would recognize him now. If he wanted, he could banish it all from his mind as if it never happened. At the time, that is exactly what he had planned to do.

But this is Hakkai, and Hakkai deserves to know everything just as Gojyo keeps pushing to know every last inch of Hakkai—and Gonou.

"You ever wonder how I learned all my tricks to please the ladies…coz I can tell ya, it didn't start by being the charming guy you know now."

Hakkai's eyes begin to slowly widen as Gojyo speaks on, hardly believing this new information to be true, though it makes more sense than he would ever have allowed himself to believe before.

Gojyo's eyes remain closed. "It's not like anyone plans it, ya know? You're hungry and cold and goin' crazy, then someone gives you an offer and you think…if it gets me a warm bed for the night…why not?" Gojyo pauses, eyes still clenched, waiting for an 'oh, Gojyo' or some other sympathetic cry from his companion. It never comes and he is glad for it. "So…" Gojyo presses on, "One time turned into a dozen more and…I thought…hey, I can make good money this way, I can save up 'til I have enough to get outta this hell hole and buy my own place. How did I survive? By thinking in terms of how quickly it would all be over if I just sucked it up and kept going. Soon as I had enough money I was out of that town and buying our little shack. And…that's about it…I guess. Got good at cards from some…some of the people I used to see, and…figured I could make a living off it. Didn't pay as well as what I'd done before, but at least I could stomach it, right?"

Surely this time an 'oh Gojyo' will sound, the kappa thinks, but still Hakkai says nothing. Gojyo quickly finds he is clenching his eyes so tight it hurts and he wants to open them, wants to give them release, but fears the look he might find if he does. Will he find pity or reproach on Hakkai's face? Would either look be the right look, be one that wouldn't make Gojyo feel _wrong_ somehow?

He almost kicks himself again. He really would kick himself if such a thing were possible with the same force a man can kick someone else. He was going to lead into this subject so much…better. And he hadn't planned on getting to it tonight. But then he managed to screw up with Hakkai by mentioning things with Gonou and everything went downhill. If he thought he screwed things up with Hakkai earlier tonight, surely this new information will have Hakkai…

Gojyo could kick himself yet again. He isn't this stupid, is he? He isn't so hopeless and weak as to need anyone's approval, and he knows Hakkai in ways that should prove the healer would never look down on him, never judge, and never stop caring.

Slowly, and feeling very low for very different reasons now, Gojyo opens his eyes.

And finds Hakkai smiling. "You really are too sweet for words, Gojyo," the brunette teases lightly, "Are you blushing? About telling _me_ these things? I cannot say it doesn't surprise me, but it is hardly something to get flustered over. After all…as a young man with so few options…how could I blame you for anything? Have we not all done things we regret?"

Not a word of this should surprise Gojyo, and in truth, it doesn't. Soon he is mirroring Hakkai's constant smile, though his blush remains. "Shut up, you," he grins crookedly, "I'm too sweet for words? That's just a nice way of saying I'm an emotional wreck who worries too much."

"Haha. Perhaps, Gojyo. But then…cannot the same be said of me?"

"Too sweet for words? Definitely."

"Gojyo, that's not what I--"

"Sure it is. And why not? It's true, ain't it?"

A mild blush creeps onto Hakkai's cheeks now. "If you say so, Gojyo."

"So…you're surprised but…not freaked out? I mean, a lot 'a things must be makin' loads more sense to you now."

"Such as?"

"My rep. How I…take all the physical stuff for granted. Why I got so damn angry that time Sanzo called me soiled goods."

Hakkai's smile drops slightly. "I…hadn't considered that part. I'm sure Sanzo wouldn't have said--"

A raise of crimson eyebrows is enough to have Hakkai rethinking his phrase.

"Well…still. And I highly doubt you take the physical for granted, Gojyo. If anything, I think you cherish it more. When it…means something."

Gojyo's mouth twitches _this_ time with the hope of finding a broader smile rather than a frown. "Maybe you're right on that. But you know…there's never been a reason for it to mean anything 'til now." To further his point in the best way Gojyo can imagine, he scoots closer to Hakkai and slips an arm around the other man's back. "How do I love thee? Shall I count the ways, baby?" Gojyo half-jokes.

It takes all of Hakkai willpower not to laugh…and say 'yes, please,' but he forcibly keeps himself in check. "Not…yet, Gojyo. If it isn't too much trouble?"

Too much trouble. Hakkai really is too formal and accommodating for his own good, Gojyo thinks. He keeps his arms around Hakkai and tugs a little tighter, but his smile remains genuine rather than playful. "I can handle that. Nothing could be too much trouble if I get to stay like this."

"Thank you, Gojyo."

"Not something that needs to be thanked. I don't go for unwilling partners."

"An honorable trait."

"Yeah…I guess."

"You are an honorable man, Gojyo, if you do not believe it."

Gojyo chuckles. "Sure, sure. And, uhh…you're sure you don't mind how I'm…not exactly…less than soiled goods? When we get to that point anyway?"

Hakkai frowns. "Haven't we been over this? We are soiled goods together, Gojyo. Always."

Such an absolute has never been spoken before, never between Gojyo and Hakkai or between them and the others. It is a risk that has always been seen as too dangerous when the possibility of separation has too many ways of finding them.

Gojyo does not mind the absolute being spoken now.

"Always?" he repeats, crimson darting up at emerald with a clear look of questioning. It is more than a single question, but endless ones linked together.

The features of Hakkai's face, the look in his eyes, all of it softens completely, leaving the man looking positively serene. "_Always_, Gojyo. I couldn't imagine anything less."

"My soiled isn't quite the same as yours, you know."

Hakkai speaks with a tilt of his head on the pillow, "Isn't it?" he says.

Gojyo could kiss the man. So he does with light pressure and the tip of his tongue. "And when we do get to…other things…at least one of us will have some practical experience, huh?" the kappa says with a half-smirk.

So Gojyo's clients had not only been women, Hakkai thinks, not really surprised but glad to know the whole truth in Gojyo's own skillful way of giving it to him. He almost wrinkles his nose at the thought of Gojyo having 'clients' but refrains, afraid Gojyo will perceive it as meaning something very different. It is the idea of others being with Gojyo not of Gojyo being with others that bothers Hakkai.

Even the healer's adept logic cannot quite figure out how that one works.

"Sleep then?" Hakkai offers instead.

"Yeah…"

"Are you…all right, Gojyo?"

"Are _you_?"

Hakkai considers that for a moment. In the end he responds with a slightly deeper kiss to echo Gojyo's earlier one. "Quite all right, Gojyo."

tbc...

A/N: I'm a little iffy on this part so please tell me it's okay. There were issues I wanted to bring up, but did I do a good with it all? Still keeping everyong marvelously in character? I hope? Please let me know. I have to run eat dinner now (oh how I slave for you all) but I think I like this chapter so post I shall. Thanks for everything thus far minna, including getting to over 100 reviews. Oh, and I forget to thank a reviewer for sending me a link to the funniest Seiten TaiseixSanzo comic I have ever seen. check out the reviews to find the address, listed in a strange but affective way to bypass Enjoy!

Crim


	9. An Overabundance of Evil

An Overabundance of Evil

* * *

"Sanzo, if you would please hold still."

"I _am_ still."

"Of course." Hakkai smiles appeasingly, a spark of light in his eyes betraying his mild frustration. "The medication should be kicking in again soon. If you'll just bear with me in the meantime--"

"I'm fine. It doesn't hurt anyway."

"I'm sure." Hakkai appeases again. Carefully he peels away the last of the gauze on Sanzo's face, revealing the deep welts left by Seiten Taisei's rampage. Hakkai places the soiled wrappings in the small trashcan at his feet. His eyes look intensely at the marks on Sanzo's face, gauging their severity and depth as best he can. "Hmm…"

Sanzo fidgets. And keeps fidgeting. A pull from his lips, a twitch in his cheek, the constant shifting of his shoulders all contributes to Hakkai's irritation. But Sanzo can't help it. The pain medication _is_ kicking in, but the marks on Sanzo's face tingle, feeling unnaturally cold as air strikes them for the first time in hours. The last thing Sanzo wants is to admit he is anxious to hear Hakkai's appraisal, but the darting of his eyes gives him away as much as his fidgeting.

Noticing the increased agitation of his patient, Hakkai meets his gaze with Sanzo's and smiles warmly, hoping the look doesn't appear contrived. "It's still too early to say," he begins, "Various milder ki treatments will be the most affective in reducing scars, but…it is impossible to know whether that will be enough. I'll do what I can, reapply bandages, and change them again later tonight."

Sanzo gives a short nod. He tells himself this information is enough to keep his mind at ease for now. If there is no way to know then there is nothing to think about. "Fine." He says, miraculously stilled as he waits for Hakkai to begin the transfusion of ki.

A warm glow encases Hakkai's hands, the shade of a dulled sun. The warmth passes from expert fingers into the tissue on Sanzo's face and the tingling the monk had been feeling is replaced with the most soothing numbness. Sanzo is reminded of having one's face fall asleep after lying on one side for too long, but he knows the feeling and the warmth will dissipate when Hakkai's hands fall away. For now he merely enjoys the feeling and tries to keep his mind alert despite the fatigue pulling down his eyelids.

Hakkai sees how Sanzo's eyelids droop, his muscles relaxing until all the fidgeting that had been annoying him fades away completely. Soon Sanzo is but a lump of human flesh. Hakkai decides not to mention that ki healing done to someone's head often has certain side affects. Nothing long-lasting or dangerous. Usually just some mild lethargy and an overwhelming sense of calm and compliance as the spiritual energy carries its harmonious nature into the brain.

When Hakkai is content with the amount of ki he has used and the welts look less angry, he pulls his hands away and observes the trance Sanzo is ignorantly under.

The monk looks serene and sleepy, eyes half-closed and mouth just the slightest bit open as he breathe slowly like a person already asleep. Hakkai says Sanzo's name and violet eyes take much longer than should be necessary to look from wherever they are focused towards Hakkai's face. The monk's eyes are slightly glazed.

"Do you feel better now?" Hakkai asks, his voice light and soft with the tone one might use on a small child.

Sanzo dips his head in a slow nod. "My…head…"

"A bit heavy?"

"Mmm."

"That's to be expected. But the pain is gone now and the cuts feel better?"

Sanzo nods again. "What…did you…?"

"I healed you, of course. Here now, I'll put fresh bandages on, and this time I'll be sure to leave a place for your eye. It feels and sees all right?"

"…yes."

"Good." Hakkai smiles, and then reaches to the little table beside the bed for the fresh gauze he set there earlier. Carefully, he begins to place it over Sanzo's cuts with gentle, practiced hands. "Now tell me, Sanzo…" he begins with a rush of delinquency, "…you really _are_ glad to have all of us along on this journey, aren't you?"

Sanzo seems confused by this question, hesitant, but eventually nods, keeping his glazed eyes trained on Hakkai's face.

"Couldn't possibly do it without us?"

Sanzo shakes his head to indicate he could not.

"And why is that?" A devious smirk tugs at Hakkai's otherwise innocent smile. He would feel terrible about doing this if he didn't feel terribly justified by so much more.

"This…journey…because I…need…your help…" Sanzo sounds out of breath, halfway sleeping, and as if his tongue is not entirely under his control. His eyes narrow slightly on Hakkai's smiling face but he can't quite figure out what it is he should be upset about.

"Just our help?" Hakkai presses, smoothing a wrapping over the cut through Sanzo's left eyebrow.

Sanzo blinks several times before responding, hoping to clear the fog in his mind but fails and quickly forgets why he had started blinking in the first place. "Because…I need…you…"

"All of us?" Hakkai adds.

Sanzo nods.

"Why?"

_Now_ Hakkai is really pushing it, Sanzo thinks, and breaching several boundaries as well. But…what boundaries, and…what is being…breached? Why does he feel so tired and heavy now? And why is Hakkai looking at him like that? He…asked him something, didn't he? About…about the others?

Oh yes. Sanzo does indeed need them. Of course he does. He cares so much for them. Life would be positively boring without them around. Even Gojyo is a welcome friend. The kappa's bluntness is refreshing, much like Sanzo's own. Yes, Sanzo likes all of them and cares for them very much. He doesn't know what he would do if something happened to one of them. They're as close as family to him. Perhaps closer, since Sanzo has never really known family. Yes…much closer than friends or even brothers. If he could come up with a term truly fitting, he would coin a new word for them. The men that travel with him are, after all, the dearest treasures in his life.

Hakkai is proud of his ability to maintain a straight face. He vaguely wonders if Sanzo will remember any of this or that the many things the monk probably assumes he just _thought_ were actually spoken aloud.

If Sanzo does not remember, Hakkai is most certain he will not bring the issue up. Not to _Sanzo_, anyway

Eventually, the trance overrides Sanzo's senses so much his loosened tongue slips into mumbling and falls inevitably silent when the monk surrenders to sleep.

Hakkai finishes wrapping Sanzo's cuts with a very satisfied smile.

-----

The smell of food is more than enough to incite Goku further and further down the hall in a desperate search for the source. He has just had a shower, feeling refreshed after his pleasant sleep in Sanzo's forgiving embrace. He cried himself to sleep but woke in arms that never once loosened.

Sanzo woke when he did, instantly demanding the monkey get out of bed and make himself useful, preferably preceded by some form of bathing since Goku had obviously neglected such things for far too long. With a very small smile on his face at how wonderfully things had returned to some sense of normal, Goku had complied.

But now, drawn by the scents of simmering food, Goku can think of little other than how quickly he can find and devour whatever is pulling him towards the kitchen. His conscience is as soothed as it needs to be to have his appetite back in full force. With little thought to what else might be behind the door, Goku heads straight into the kitchen, eyes trained on the wonders cooking on the stove.

"That's for all of us, asswipe. Don't go taking more than your share."

Goku jumps, not having noticed Gojyo until the kappa spoke. He turns his head to the left and spots the redhead seated at the kitchen table with a plate in front of him that is already half-empty of its contents. Since Goku does not quite know what to say, he shrugs a little and shuffles his feet, feeling awkward at having to interact with Gojyo so suddenly.

Gojyo is out of his chair and over to Goku's frozen form before even a few seconds have passed. "Cut the shit already. You're annoying enough without the sob story expression." Gojyo teases, hooking Goku into a headlock-like hug that pulls the smaller boy against him. Gojyo keeps Goku in place with ease, having the best holding techniques of the ikkou. "The Goku I'm used to would have grabbed the food right off the stove by now and had half of it down his throat. You gonna disappoint me?"

"But…you…you just said not to eat it all." Goku grumbles, struggling only half-heartedly to get out of Gojyo's hold and unable to see more than the kappa's bare feet with his neck caught in Gojyo's armpit.

"Yeah, so what if I did," Gojyo replies, "Doesn't mean I expect you to listen. Monkey brains. You should know better."

Goku wonders fleetingly if Gojyo's comment refers solely to the incident at hand. He decides not to ask. "Okay, okay, just let me go and I'll be as selfish and glutinous as ya want. Geesh." The brunette's exasperation is far more like his usual nature towards the kappa and does the trick in getting Gojyo to release him.

A moment later Goku is at the stove filling his plate and Gojyo is sitting back at the table. Gojyo watches Goku carefully, still a little frustrated that the monkey won't make direct eye contact for more than two seconds. "Hey," he calls, as Goku heaps yet another helping onto his plate, "Quit it with the big words, will ya? Glutinous? Creeps the hell out of me hearing that kinda stuff from _you_."

When Goku turns back around and makes his way to the table, a very small grin is pulling at the corners of his mouth. He looks up briefly to meet his eyes to crimson, but as soon as he is seated his attention strays to his plate and remains there as he ravenously eats.

Gojyo wouldn't mind this so much if Goku was _speaking_. Good food or not, the chimp always makes a point to run his mouth off even while he is stuffing it with food. Seeing as how Gojyo's own appetite has fallen by the wayside, he leaves the remainder of his plate untouched and watches Goku instead.

Eventually, the constant attention on him starts to make Goku uncomfortable. He looks up from his plate, gold eyes darting around Gojyo's eyes but never directly into them. "What…?" he asks, fork halfway to his mouth as if the feeling of being watched hit him mid-movement and froze him there.

"Nothing. But if you're trying to creep me out more, being quiet does that a helluva lot better than playing smart." Gojyo lightly kicks Goku's shin, almost like a challenge, just to see how much he can get the boy to react. "Aren't ya even gonna ask if I'm okay? The all-mighty-fanged one got me pretty good, ya know."

Goku lets his fork fall back to his plate. His eyes stare through Gojyo—distant, lost. "I…I guess I figured you seemed okay enough, and…I…I didn't…wanna…geez, Gojyo, do we really hafta talk about this?" Goku finishes in a rush, his eyes diverting further and his cheeks flush from shame. "You know I'm sorry. I'm always sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt Hakkai. I'm sorry how with Sanzo I…almost…almost--"

"Shit, monkey, calm the hell down." Gojyo breaks in, reaching out a hand to place on Goku's arm and finally succeeding in getting the chimp to look him honestly in the eyes. At this progress, Gojyo offers a teasing, sideways smirk. "I'm just givin' you a hard time," he says, and then adds under his breath, "…shit-for-brains."

A flash of anger illuminates Goku's sorrowful eyes, but when it fades, giving way easily to a look of relief and appreciation for the norm, the monkey is soon pushing his plate of food away and leaping out of his chair.

Gojyo's smirk twitches at the realization of practically having a monkey in his lap, but this strange show of affection isn't unwelcome. It's overdue. "Never try playing the tough-guy routine with me, and don't you even dare try pulling that silent act again. I'd rather you be _you_. Even if you are annoying as all hell." Gojyo chuckles, patting Goku tentatively on the back and wondering just how long the boy plans to keep a sniffling nose pressed into his chest.

Goku's hold tightens, small hands clutching Gojyo's arms while a stubborn head turns to press deeper into Gojyo's ribcage. Goku doesn't want to let go just yet, and all masculine foolishness aside, Gojyo doesn't mind nearly as much as he might let on later.

"Now, does this mean you and the bouzu are doing well or shitty? Coz the way you're clinging right now is making me nervous."

As always, Gojyo succeeds in getting Goku to laugh, even if the sound is muffled by the rumples of Gojyo's tank top. "Not…shitty," Goku mumbles into Gojyo's shirt, still hanging on with fisted hands. "But…Sanzo's not the only thing that…matters, ya know."

"Well that's news to me, monkey, with the way you let on."

"I'm…sorry."

"Did I ask for an apology?"

"…no. But…but I'm sorry anyway. I _am_. You should know, you and Hakkai, that…if Sanzo's the sun then…then…you and Hakkai gotta be…I dunno…uhh…clouds?"

Gojyo quirks an eyebrow. He supposes this new metaphor is better than blood at least. "Clouds?" he restates, as sardonically as possible.

Goku sniffles. "Not good?"

"Gee, let me think about this. The damn monk's the sun, Homura of all people gets to be the moon, and Hakkai and me are _clouds_. Oh yeah. That's _perfectly_ fair." Every note in Gojyo's voice betrays his actual humor over the issue, but he knows just how to play Goku and figures riling him up is the only way he'll still have a dry shirt when the monkey finally lets him go.

Goku is silent for almost a full minute. When he speaks again, his voice is timid, "If there were three suns I wouldn't need to think of something else," he says.

The arms Goku is clinging to slip out of his grasp and wrap around him faster than he can think. Gojyo doesn't mention anything more on the subject, but Goku figures he managed to say the right thing anyway.

Seeing as how the masculine side of things still has some sway over the pair, Gojyo releases Goku with a dismissing cough, pushing the monkey none too gently back into his own chair and takes a long gulp of his morning coffee to distract from the red in his cheeks. Goku's eyes are darting around the room again, but there is a true smile on his lips now and when Gojyo finally looks back at him there is nothing awkward or unspoken between them.

To vary this too sweet interaction and prove he is not and never will be a pushover, Gojyo messes Goku hair with a rough hand. "Eat the rest of your breakfast, dork."

Goku is more than happy to comply.

General and common conversation starts up at last, usually made up of teasing remarks and jabs. Once a sense of normalcy has been wholly established, Gojyo breaches one of the old but very important subjects. "So…not shitty, you and the monk. Meaning for once you decided _not_ to be a complete pansy after one of your evil twin's tantrums."

Golden eyes narrow accompanied by a childish pout. "Sanzo and I are fine. He told me to stop being such a…hey, I'm not a pansy!"

Score one for the kappa. Clearly, Sanzo had come to the same conclusion as Gojyo and was naturally just as vocal about the finding.

"I know I overreact," Goku says, his pout still prominent, "But it's good that I do, coz…coz it'd suck if I didn't. If I didn't care that I hurt you guys I'd be just like _him_." Goku is decidedly done with his meal now, even though a few remnants sit on his plate. He faces Gojyo, his elbows on his thighs so that his hands dangle between them. "But things are really good with Sanzo. He yells at me for all the right reasons and listens when I talk. He…he actually holds me and tells me everything's gonna be okay sometimes, like…I always wanted. And he still does all of it like _Sanzo_, which is even more what I wanted. It's really…really…"

"Wonderful?"

Goku is briefly startled by the tenderness in Gojyo's voice, but since the same has been coming from Sanzo lately, it doesn't startle him long. He smiles, looking up into Gojyo's eyes and loving the softness he finds there. "Wonderful," he repeats, "And it scares the shit outta me, coz it'd be so easy to lose."

No reply comes from the kappa. It doesn't need to be said that he feels the same way about him and Hakkai. All of them have more to lose now than they ever would have admitted before.

Nothing can be said to ease worries that will always be with them, and with those worries hanging low in the room like a fog of bad tidings yet to come, Gojyo quickly decides the atmosphere is much too heavy to tolerate any longer. Leaning over the edge of the tabletop, he lowers his voice ever so slightly and sports a devious smirk.

"As for the wonderful…just how wonderful we talkin' here?" he asks, the look in his eyes speaking every last word he isn't voicing, "I got a few guesses but I'd much rather hear from you."

Goku goes flush in his cheeks and all the way down his collarbone. Sanzo would _kill_ him. "I don't…know what you mean," he says, "Maybe you should save those perverted thoughts for you and Hakkai."

"Oh, I am, but I'll be honest, we haven't gone all that far. You and the bouzu though…my libido-sense is telling me you've gone a lot further than the little kisses and snuggles you steal in the jeep." Gojyo leans a little closer to Goku, bringing them only inches apart. "Come on, Goku, gimme _somethin'_ here. You and the monk have screwed at least once, right?"

Goku tries his best to pull out of Gojyo's close proximity. "Wh-why should I tell _you_?"

"You don't have to tell me. Your stammering gives you away."

"I'm n-not stammering," Goku stammers, "Damn it!"

The devious smirk on Gojyo's lips turns into a very wicked grin. "So, twice for sure. Any more than that?"

"No!"

"But it is twice?"

"Gojyo!"

"Definitely twice. So how was he?"

A red collarbone is the least of Goku's worries now; his blush has a hold on the entirety of his face and is surely traveling its way south. "Gojyo…"

"Goku, if you're gonna start fucking regular, as a man it is your duty to offer up the details to your friends," Gojyo explains, taking on a rather Hakkai-worthy, authoritative tone, "All I'm asking for is the basics. You know…who's doing the fucking, how good Mr. Pissy is in bed. These are standard questions, kiddo."

Goku is not convinced. "Sanzo'd kill me if I told you that stuff."

Jackpot. "So you _are_ on top. Who'd have thought, huh?"

"Uhhhnnngg," Goku groans, embarrassed and defeated with a long line of unintelligible syllables to prove it. He flops forward with his head facedown on the tabletop. "Lemme alone, Gojyo. It's too weird talkin' about this stuff." He mumbles.

"Talking about what stuff?"

Gojyo and Goku both instantly tense, though for decidedly different reasons. While Gojyo turns a hand-in-the-cookie-jar expression towards the kitchen door, Goku slowly lifts his head from the table and looks over with a flood of relief.

Hakkai doesn't even have to ask. "Gojyo," the healer says, folding his arms over his chest and raising his chin the smallest bit higher than normal to better look down upon his soon to be scolded friend, "Whatever you may consider decent, times the possibility of indecency by ten and _then_ continue your interrogation of Goku. If you find your questions to thus be indecent after all, I'd suggest refraining from ever bringing such subjects up again."

Now, Goku isn't completely sure he understood everything that came out of Hakkai's mouth, but one thing he knows for sure is that whatever Hakkai said it has just put Gojyo in his place. In short, Goku is saved and the monkey looks to Hakkai with adoration and eternal thanks.

Failing at appearing even remotely innocent, Gojyo shrugs his shoulders and returns to what is left of his coffee. "Don't know what you mean, Hakkai."

-----

The shades are drawn, leaving the room in total darkness even with the sun shining brightly outside the cottage walls. It is a quiet place, the room itself and the area the cottage rests in. Few sounds other than the gentle creaking of settling wood or the chirp of outside birds and insects disturbs the room. When those little creaks and chirps, the rustling or whistling of tree branches in the wind, or the very dim voices of the three men in the kitchen below filter inside the room, its occupant remains wholly unaware.

Groaning in his sleep and shifting uncomfortably within the hold of his dreaming, Sanzo's face contorts, scrunching the muscles as if the monk is in extreme pain. It is not an honestly physical pain, though any movement as Sanzo tosses and turns aggravates the many wounds still healing.

"Nnnnnn…" Sanzo groans loader now and clutches at the bed sheets around him in desperation. "Nnnn…nnnooo…" His eye move rapidly beneath the lids, telling of the horrors he is trying to escape from but is forced to witness anyway. "No…not again…"

Back arching off the bed, Sanzo claws with his hands madly at the mattress. His head pushes back into the pillow as wave after wave of imagined pain lifts him from the mattress in agony. Tears he would never let flow when awake sting at the corners of his tightly closed eyes. Every inch of his exposed skin—the sheet having long since fallen about his waist amidst his struggling—is chalk-white, and beads of sweat race each other down the pours of his skin.

"Not…again…"

Breath flies from Sanzo's lips as he wakes, eyes wide and staring though at first they see only the images of what had been in the dream. That same dream, intensified now to a sickening degree. Goku—not Seiten Taisei but _Goku_—vicious and bruising in his lust until the only option left was the trigger on Sanzo's gun.

Sanzo does not shoot up in bed, but collapses lose-limbed into the mattress. His eyes droop more than they had before. That was not rest. That was not sleep. Nightmares rob us of any peace in sleep, and without peace what rest is there to find? Sanzo had only the nightmare and now he scowls angrily at himself for being glad Goku is not in the room.

He has no reason to fear the monkey or to find relief in his absence. Sanzo is more tied to Goku now than he ever was as the boy's guardian. He is attached. Attachment. Once attachment was something he took an oath never to have, not only as someone once scorned by loss of love, but as a Sanzo priest.

The brief, traitorous thought that he should have been more resistant to Goku's initial advances passes through Sanzo's mind. He is sickened by his own weakness for even thinking it. He was not weak for choosing Goku; he would have been weak had he looked the boy in the eyes and pretended he didn't want the same things as the monkey. Sanzo didn't need a likeness of his master to tell him he needed something to call home before he could be free. He knew it the moment he laid eyes on Goku, no, even before, when he first heard that annoying voice calling him in the distance. He knew then that Goku would always be a marker of home because only with Goku did he feel at home, even in the temple he had lived at for so long.

Sanzo closes his eyes, taking in even, slow breaths to calm his racing heart. Absently, he reaches out to grab at the fallen sheets and pulls them up around him again. His mind is still racing with images from the dream, and also with very fleeting memories from before he fell asleep.

Hakkai had been here, hadn't he? Hakkai had been here replacing Sanzo's bandages.

A tiny nagging voice begins calling for Sanzo's attention. There is something he should be upset about. Something the healer did that should have Sanzo very angry indeed. But he cannot remember what it is. He knows he and Hakkai spoke and that after the healer began placing the new bandages on his face he quickly fell asleep. But what is it that remains just out of his grasp…?

Sanzo resolves to decipher this question later. He is still very tired, still healing, and there is no telling how quickly Goku will be back in the room, proving to be the very best distraction. Though it pains him to admit it, Sanzo hopes he falls asleep before Goku returns. He doesn't think he could face the monkey just now. Not when these dreams keep pestering him, sometimes of him shooting Goku without cause, and other times… of him shooting Goku for causes that could have come about so very recently but thankfully didn't.

Swallowing back a sudden rise in bile at the back of his throat, Sanzo tries to turn onto his side and curl in on himself, but instantly hisses in pain. The punctures on his hips are still tender, worse in the front than behind. Much as he hates to right now, he must sleep on his back.

Risking another nightmare, Sanzo allows himself to drift into the abyss of sleep, hoping that he is not woken by the same twisted and grim nightmare once again.

-----

"Kou, what the hell is going on?"

"Just do as I say, Dokugaku. Grab as many things as you can carry, but be swift. We have to leave now."

"But Niichan," Lirin whines, tugging at her brother's long, sleeveless coat and looking up at him with round, uncomprehending eyes, "I thought we had lots to do. Don't you still need to ask which guards are gonna help us?"

Kougaiji looks down at her in sympathy, afraid to look up at Yaone and Dokugakuji, who, though they are both running about the rooms to gather the party's things, are also intently watching the prince at every chance. "I've asked a few, Lirin, though not enough. But it doesn't matter. We don't have time to worry about it. We have to get out of here."

"But why, Kougaiji-sama?" Yaone asks, whirling past him with a bag over one shoulder and her eyes intent on a half-packed bag across the room, "Has something happened? We are eager to begin this, of course, but it seems so soon."

The hesitance in Kougaiji to speak is obvious. Yaone and the others do not press him further, and though he is always helpful and generous as their prince and leader, they are surprised when he too begins to hurriedly grab what he can, "Explaining would take too much time," he says, almost too quiet for them to hear him, "And we may not have enough as it is."

A few minutes pass in a flurry, with even Lirin dashing madly for the things Yaone and her brother send her to fetch. When the four youkai are laden with as much as they dare take, Kougaiji grabs his sister's hand and heads for the back door. The passageway will take them straight to the dragons, and hopefully, to safety.

"Let's go."

Yaone runs headlong into Dokugakuji, who nearly runs into Kougaiji, when the prince stops, neither quite understanding why he stopped so abruptly upon opening the door. A quick look past the redhead has everything clicking into place, though they are not entirely sure how thankful they are for finally understanding the haste they had been about to leave in.

Kougaiji tightens his hold on Lirin's hand and she tightens hers right back. The glares in like-indigo eyes stare out into the corridor at the lab-coat clad figure blocking their path.

"Going somewhere, your highness?"

tbc...

A/N: I think we all know who the guy in a lab coat is, right? Muwahaha. :-) So, the ikkou remains blissfully unaware and things are getting more and more tense. Hows about I give you a teaser. Next part...Hakkai might just take off his limiters with a bit of prompting from the kappa. If you know me at all, you should expect alot of 'fun' out of that. Not saying what kind of fun, but I get a kick out of all sorts of things. Okay, that's about it. Thanks for sticking with me. Off to get some exercise in and then maybe do the homework I have been neglecting. Boy, I must really love you guys. :-)

Crim


	10. Same Difference

Same Difference

* * *

As uneventful days go, this one is the pinnacle. Sanzo managed to sleep through breakfast and lunch, but now that it is finally nearing dinnertime Hakkai is most adamant about ensuring the priests gets something in him once Gojyo and Goku are finished. Considering the dangers in waiting to bring leftovers when Gojyo and Goku are involved, Hakkai was prudent enough to set some food aside.

Sitting at the kitchen table—with Sanzo's food safely on the stove—the three generally healthy members of the ikkou chat amiably while sharing the meal Hakkai cooked. Throughout the day they found themselves in each other's company very seldom with Goku sneaking up to Sanzo's room, Gojyo being sent out to shop for supplies, and Hakkai fretting like the mother hen they all know him to be. Currently, they are very much enjoying the chance to talk and eat, while Hakuryuu sits on his favorite perch of Hakkai's shoulder and occasionally swoops onto the table to steal a piece of food.

Hakkai, finished sooner than the others since Gojyo and Goku fill up only at great length, pushes his chair and prepares to gather Sanzo's meal…when the door to the kitchen swings open.

The teasing between Gojyo and Goku stops mid-jab and Hakkai freezes, muscles somewhat tense since he had been about to rise out of his chair. Sanzo stands in the doorway, looking disheveled but rested, bare from the waist up other than the bandages on his face, around his hips, and where Seiten Taisei had wounded him beneath his left arm. The monk is barefoot as well and the state of him appearing so fragile and beaten keeps any immediate remarks at bay.

Head held high and eyes stern, Sanzo starts to walk towards the table, meeting any gaze that dares meet his. When he stumbles just shy of reaches the remaining chair, Goku is out of his seat and at the monk's side before Sanzo can even come close to falling.

Once steadied, Sanzo immediately pushes Goku away. "I don't need your help. Do I look like an invalid?" Sanzo grits, wanting to clutch at the wounds on his hips, aggravated now from walking, but unwilling to allow such a blatant show of weakness.

Without Goku's help he eases himself into the empty chair, and hard eyes turn to each of his staring companions before settling finally on Hakkai.

"Well, did you let these idiots eat us out of provisions or what?" he asks, not very kindly.

As is in Hakkai's nature, the healer does not take offense, but promptly rises as he had meant to before and fetches Sanzo's portion from the stove. Sanzo accepts it with little gratitude but that 'little' comes across as a softly muttered, "Thanks," and is enough to keep Hakkai and the others in good spirits.

Slowly, Gojyo and Goku return to eating as well, and Hakkai sits contentedly with a cup of tea, Hakuryuiu still perched on his shoulder though a little more wary now of snatching food. Only when Gojyo and Goku slip into their usual routine of passing insults and stealing from one another's plates does the slightly static atmosphere ease. When they do and Sanzo shouts, "Shut the hell up! If you think I left my gun upstairs, you're idiots," which he then proves by pulling it into view from where he had tucked it at the back of his jeans, everything is clearly back to normal

Goku and Gojyo quiet down but feel supremely justified in warring if only for the response they received. Normalcy. That's all one really needs.

-----

"Ow! If you're going to help me, quit stepping on my God damn feet!" Sanzo growls, barely tolerating Goku's hold on him as the monkey helps him back up the stairs.

With dinner finished, Hakkai ordered Sanzo back to bed, explaining that he would be up shortly for another ki treatment and to change the monk's bandages. Goku had insisted he help Sanzo up to bed and would not hear a single complaint against it. Agreeing to this gives Sanzo full rights, of course, to complain every step of the way there.

"Damn it!" Sanzo curses after Goku accidentally squishes one of his toes on the last step. "You're more hurt than you're help, you know that."

Goku is flushed, angry at himself for fairing so poorly at aiding his "damsel in distress" as Gojyo put it (which Sanzo swore death upon the kappa for saying). He holds Sanzo a little closer against him, being careful to watch where he puts his feet now that they have successfully mastered the stairs. "Sorry," he says, "You're way light but you're bigger than me, and those stairs are narrow."

"Stupid monkey," Sanzo grumbles, though any animosity seems to be forgotten in the petname these days. Sensing Goku's dipping mood, Sanzo tries to force his own to brighten, despite how hard it is with so many wayward and grisly images still flashing in and out of his thoughts, "Forget it. You're trying too hard anyway. You don't need to protect me every second, you know."

"Sure I do," Goku counters, kicking the door open since Sanzo had partially closed it when he left, and helping Sanzo over the threshold.

He would never say so, but the flush in Goku's cheeks isn't only due to self-directed frustration. He rather likes having Sanzo against him, dependant on him, with one skinny arm slung over his shoulder and his own arm wrapped supportively about Sanzo's waist.

"Protecting you's the part of the job you'll never be able to fire me from, Sanzo. You never had to hire it or ask for it, it's just something I gotta do. Coz it's _you_."

Sanzo refrains from commenting only because they have had this argument already and he knows he could never win against Goku-logic. "At least tone it down then. If I have to hear that kappa say one more comment like he made downstairs, I'm shooting him," Sanzo considers this a moment as Goku helps him into the bed. He smirks when he triumphantly thinks of something even better, "Or neutering the idiot. That'd shut him up."

A snicker escapes the back of Goku's throat, "Yeah, and just think how _fun_ it would be dealing with a pissed Hakkai afterwards," he adds sarcastically, looking downright smug with his analysis.

Violet eyes dart upwards in fierce disdain for the comment. "I'll give you one guess who's getting neutered second." The monk remarks.

Just how wrong this comeback is hits Sanzo the second it leaves his mouth. Before Goku has time for his smile to fall into an expression of sorrow and regret, Sanzo reaches out and tugs on the monkey's hand.

"Now shut up and get in here. You'll only make trouble otherwise," the blonde orders, bypassing any of Goku's ideas of him being upset or wary of contact. The last thing Sanzo wants is another angst speech. What's done is done, he figures (his dreams be damned). What more needs to be said on the past?

A shudder of thunder sounds outside.

The irony of the gods knows no bounds, it would seem. Perhaps Sanzo can escape having to call himself a hypocrite if only he can hold Goku tight tonight and think of how he is at least trying to live as his master wanted, even if Koumyou cannot be here to see it for himself.

Although Goku complies and climbs under the covers to join Sanzo, the monkey is restless. He has nothing better to do, of course, and he wants to be with Sanzo, but it is far too early for sleep. Sanzo needs his rest but Goku is—as he always is after a romp as Seiten Taisei—in perfect condition.

Besides, "Hakkai's coming up soon," Goku mumbles into Sanzo's chest, curling in as close as he can while avoiding any of Sanzo's injuries, "You sure you don't mind?"

"What do I care? And since when do _you_?"

"Well…he's gonna be healing you and changing your bandages. Won't it be…weird with me in bed while he's doing that?"

Sanzo considers this, "At least having you here means he won't try anything."

This comment comes across as so strange to Goku he has no choice but to press for more, "Try anything? What did he do before?" the monkey asks, peeking bright golden eyes up at Sanzo from his snuggled position.

"I don't know," Sanzo admits tersely, his own eyes focused straight up at the ceiling, unseeing as he struggles to remember what is still just out of his grasp. He growls, "And that's the problem. I can't remember. Bastard. I hate it when he pulls shit like this, messing with my head."

Goku does not comment, but seeing as how Hakkai almost never uses mental tricks on him—Goku is too open to require any—and how Goku rather likes it when Hakkai uses them on Gojyo and Sanzo, he resolves to ask the healer about this issue later. Whatever it is, he guesses it has to be something good.

"Whatever it is, it's probably private," Sanzo adds, "So don't even think about asking him."

Damn it. Sometimes Goku hates how attuned Sanzo is to his way of thinking.

Absently, Sanzo nuzzles his cheek and chin into Goku's hair.

But only sometimes, the monkey thinks.

-----

Everything feels so strangely heavy and gritty, like trying to breathe through gravel. Kougaiji barely has the strength to open his eyes and at first he does not remember why. He does not remember that Nii had released some strange-smelling substance that had him and his companions on their knees and unconscious before they could even touch freedom. He does not remember the lingering sounds of Nii's laughter as his vision darkened. He does not remember the panic that had risen inside of him only to be crushed when the world snuffed out.

Opening his weary eyes to the sight of a grinning man with glinting glasses and common stubble about his face has Kougaiji instantly remembering all he had forgotten. "You bastard!" he growls, lunging towards the doctor with as much murderous intent as ever. The bonds holding him in place keep him stationary against the wall and sting his wrists for trying to strain them. "What is this…?" Kougaiji says, indigo eyes darting in hazy focus at his surroundings and his state of capture. He does not recognize this particular room but knows it to be somewhere in the castle.

"You and your friends are most safe, your highness. There is no need for you to worry," Nii grins, lazily tonguing the tip of his cigarette to make it gently bob at the side of his mouth, "The painful part will be quite brief, I assure you."

Kougaiji's mind rightly focuses on the word 'pain' and immediately turns to thoughts of his sister and his friends. "You…what have you done with them?"

"You think only them and your dear mother, never of the cost to your own life. How…noble of you." A few clicks on the cement floor echo as Nii steps closer to the bound prince. He grins around his cigarette and leans his face close to Kougaiji's, enough for each breath he takes to consume any fresh air with the smell of nicotine. "Do you ever think on why you are so selfless with your cohorts, hmm? With…the youkai woman in particular, perhaps?"

There is a shimmer of light that passes through Nii's eyes, greatly disturbing the prince, but when it has come and gone it leaves them looking inhumanly flat with no luminance at all. Kougaiji does not response vocally to Nii's allusion to Yaone. Part of his mind does not know what the doctor is referring to. But the other part is terrified of what the doctor might know.

"You have trained yourself well, your highness," Nii says, tilting his head only slightly and finding some impossible way to lean even closer to Kougaiji's face, "You show barely any emotion to betray your feelings. Ah, but I know the feelings even _you_ will not face. Your own data was processed in an experiment of mine recently. It focused more closely on the Sanzo party, as I am so instructed, but the part you and yours inadvertently played…was most interesting indeed."

"What are you talking about?"

A smooth hand lifts, plucking the cigarette from Nii's mouth. He releases the smoke he had inhaled, causing it to waft up in a cloud that descends on Kougaiji at an agonizing pace. His eyes remain flat and black like his hair. "Love is a tricky thing. A dangerous thing. It causes so many to do so many foolish things. An otherwise sound man might…for example…throw himself before an enemy just to protect his treasured charge…but what does this sacrifice ultimately bring to both of them? Only _pain_."

Nii moves too fast, faster than Kougaiji would ever have imagined possible. His hand is on Kougaiji's throat now, not squeezing but applying faint, teasing pressure that warns and taunts.

Kougaiji is too proud to show his fear. He looks beyond it, wondering instead how this man, this human has grown so strong, been so strong without him realizing the extent. It has nothing to do with physical strength—the man's loose grip seems to say that even though Nii is clearly not intending the grip to hurt—but there is power in the man and Kougaiji can do nothing against it.

"Your love for them is noble indeed. But fighting would be so very unwise, your highness. I suggest a more submissive approach this time if you wish to avoid bringing such pain upon yourself."

A far off cry rips through the stale room, bouncing off cold walls and making it nearly impossible to judge where the scream has come from. Kougaiji's eyes fill with anger and fear, unable to hide either emotion. Though he does not know where the sound has come from, he knows the voice.

Yaone.

"I'll kill you…" Kougaiji vows, emotions raging behind the fire of his now illuminated eyes as he stares into the blackness within Nii, "Whatever it may take, however things may end, I promise you that. If you have done anything…"

"Now, now, your highness, don't be so rude. I promised you freedom from _such_ pains if you cooperate, but that doesn't include…_all_ pain," the doctor grins, "This particular experiment is very base, you see, but effective."

"What experiment? What are you doing to them?" And what do you plan to do to me, Kougaiji adds silently, though he would never vocalize such fearful thoughts.

The darkness surrounding Nii seems to swell, emanating from the flat planes of his empty, black eyes. He squeezes his grip on Kougaiji's neck, almost…affectionately, "My dear, dear prince…it will not last long. I only wish to enlist your services. It was you who included the others; your sister, the woman, and that brotherly protector of yours. Haha. But if you want a small bit of solace…before the true experiment begins…"

Nii's hand does not tighten further, but within the gaze of the doctor's eyes Kougaiji feels his throat constricting of its own accord, collapsing in on itself in sheer terror only this vile man could instill.

"Before the _true_ experiment…temporary servitude is all I require to succeed."

-----

Hakkai's voice is close to quaking when he speaks, "Things haven't really settled down yet, Gojyo."

"Close enough." Gojyo shrugs and makes a very casual grab for Hakkai's left ear.

A grip anything _but_ casual descends upon his wrist and stops him before he can reach it. "Never do that again, Gojyo." the healer warns, emitting his occasional darkness in rolling torrents that overcome his recent quaking. His grip is painfully tight on Gojyo's wrist. "If I cannot be trusted to remove them and place them back by my own power, than I am not to be trusted at all."

Gojyo is an entity of submission within the force of Hakkai's glare and grip. He backs off without question. "Bad move on my part, I got it," he says, and gives a light tug to free himself of Hakkai's grasp.

The healer is oddly reluctant but releases Gojyo and pulls back some of his unleashed anger. "I…I apologize. But please…if we are to do this, let me be the one to take each step forward. Belief in my control is slight enough as it is. I would like to maintain at least some semblance of it."

"I get it. I really do. But I'm still saying we should give it a go _now_ while we're hold up here." Gojyo says, able to dismiss Hakkai's minor outburst with ease few others could manage. After so many years together, Gojyo has learned how far Hakkai can be pushed and how wise or unwise it may be to push a little further when the stakes are high. "You've fixed the monk up for the night, Goku's with him and out of our hair, the dragon's out on a romp in the rain…"

Shit, shit, shit, Gojyo curses himself for mentioning that last word. Sure he had noticed the claps of thunder and drops striking the roof and walls, but whatever possessed him to mention the phenomenon aloud must be one of his more masochistic traits.

"I mean…really, Kai, we've got a golden opportunity here." Gojyo starts anew, "It's just me and you. We can even lock the door if it worries you so--"

"The last thing I want is to give you an extra obstacle should I get out of hand. The door will not be locked."

Gojyo feels an oncoming grin before he can suppress it. "So…that means you're willing?"

Hakkai flinches visibly, his brow furrowed with conflicting desires. Gojyo stands before him looking so very confident and supportive, and now that Hakkai understands better Gojyo's reason for desiring this, he finds himself becoming more agreeable towards giving in.

Something in Hakkai's demeanor must have shifted to give his decision away, for Gojyo's smile widens and with a sure, unafraid hand, the kappa reaches out to take Hakkai's arm and pulls his friend into the center of the room. They do not speak but Hakkai motions Gojyo to back away to a safer distance. Only when he is very mildly soothed and convinced that Gojyo is far enough does he slowly begin reaching for his limiters.

Both Hakkai and Gojyo are dressed for bed, Gojyo wearing a pair of pants only, free of even his bandana. Hakkai, as is the norm for him, is in cotton pants and his black undershirt that exposes his neck and clavicle in great contrast to his high-collared tunic. He too is without his bandana, and with sudden resolve he reaches to his right eye instead of his limiters and tosses his monocle at Gojyo, who catches it easily. The kappa even has the gall to supply Hakkai with a teasing wink. But there is nothing funny in this act and Hakkai does not answer with even a smile.

The healer's next movement is so swift Gojyo believes the act to be done out of pure adrenaline.

Hakkai's limiters fall to the floor and bounce lightly on the carpet. He does not call out as Goku would, but releases small, cutoff sounds of painful distress that are dimmed by having to pass through tightly clenched teeth. He convulses only slightly and staggers a single step forward before reclaiming his footing and looking up at Gojyo with an unfathomable expression.

This is not the first time Gojyo has seen Hakkai transform—once before Hakkai removed his limiters to save the kappa's life—but something in the motivation this time makes it so much different. And the look on Hakkai's changed face speaks of that difference. This youkai Hakkai has nothing to overtly attack and its only focus of attention just now…is Gojyo.

Gojyo realizes he is clutching Hakkai's monocle a little too tightly, but can't bring himself to loosen his grip. Hakkai, standing in the middle of the room in all his transformed glory, is something Gojyo's eyes are transfixed with so completely the kappa can hardly imagine moving. The first and only other time Gojyo saw Hakkai this way it passed by him in a blur—literally. One moment Hakkai was changed and the next he was in motion, ridding the room of Gojyo's captors. By the time Gojyo caught sight of Hakkai afterwards the healer was already placing his limiters back where they belong.

This time Gojyo can take his time looking. Hakkai's hair is longer, not quite as long as the dreamworld Gonou's had been, but as long as the real Gonou kept it. It brushes his shoulders and falls well past his eyes, which are iridescent now, with slit pupils. Fangs reveal themselves from within Hakkai's slightly slack mouth, and most notably of all, something Gojyo marveled at even with the brief glimpse he caught that time before, are the many vines wound about Hakkai's form, covering nearly every space of skin. Black vines with black leaves. Hakkai once said there must be 1000 of them to match every life he took.

"Fuck," Gojyo says beneath his breath. When Hakkai tilts his head with a strange semi-smile, Gojyo knows even his whisper was loud enough for the youkai ears to hear, "Uhhh…" he tries, not knowing quite what to say or do since he hadn't given this nearly as much thought as he made Hakkai think he had, "You…umm…okay then?"

Hakkai's head moves awkwardly, turning slowly to look down at clawed hands that appear like pieces of artwork decked in daggers. The youkai turns his hands in the light, catching the contrast of white skin and black vines. Gojyo does not have to ask whether or not his friend has ever studies himself this way before, it is clear this is the first time he has ever _really_ looked.

"Hakkai…?"

Glitteringly dangerous eyes look up and Hakkai flexes his fingers, testing the movement of his long claws. "I…this…" he can barely form the words he means to say, not because his voice and intellect are lessened as one might think of Seiten Taisei, but because he has never thought to speak in this form, nor does he quite no what he should say. In the end he tries his best to smile though the expression is far more devious and frightening than he may intend. "I am…fine, Gojyo. I think you may have been on to something…when you first thought…to have me stretch my claws…" Hakkai does so, momentarily distracted by how they glint at sharp, deadly angles. His voice is like his own but different, slightly deeper and rumbling as if half of it is constantly growling.

Gojyo finally manages to stop squeezing Hakkai's monocle so tight. He walks the few steps to an end table and sets the eyeglass down, careful to never look away from the youkai still standing in the center of the room.

Lifting his eyes to watch Gojyo, since Hakkai could not help noticing the other man's movements, Hakkai tilts his head as he had before, looking disturbingly like an animal considering its prey. "Gojyo…what…do you suppose…should we do…now?" he asks. The initial sense of control Gojyo had felt from Hakkai already seems somewhat lessened.

With all the strength in him, Gojyo does not think any answer would be a smart one.

"Gojyo…" Green eyes practically glow, lowered as Hakkai's lowers his head the smallest bit, grins, and takes the first of many following steps towards the redhead on the other side of the room.

"Shit…uhh…is…this the part where I should be running for the _not_ locked door?" Gojyo says, his voice a mad rush, with pride alone keeping him from stepping back and forming his body into the wall behind him.

"Are you…afraid, Gojyo?"

"Should I be…?"

Green eyes glitter and a feral grin widens further still.

"Hakkai…?"

The barest twitch of the youkai's shoulders is enough to warn Gojyo of the impending attack but still, he moves too slowly when the strike finally comes. There is a clawed hand attached to his wrist before he has even begun trying to escape, but try he does, struggling to get his legs to move and carry him safely…anywhere. His frantic efforts send him tumbling into the end table next to him and he crashes to the floor, knocking the table onto its side and sending Hakkai's monocle to bounce under the bed.

Gojyo's head strikes the wall and he feels an ill-timed haze attack his senses. There is still a clawed hand on his wrist and a very unpredictable youkai attached to it. He tries to focus on that but is distracted when a hot breath hits the side of his face and a gruffer version of his friend's voice speaks beside his ear.

"Gojyo, Gojyo…you aren't running away, are you? I would never attack _you_."

Something in Hakkai's voice makes it strangely untrustworthy.

Gojyo forces his head to clear and he looks towards the warm breath and strange voice, meeting intense emerald. Hakkai is practically on top of him, though Gojyo's is curled on his side with how he fell.

"Not attack me…?" Gojyo repeats with a noise of disbelief, "Sorry to say but…trying for what Seiten Taisei tried with the monk…is not my idea of something better than being attacked."

"Is that what you think I want, Gojyo?" Still Hakkai wears his cryptic, eerie grin as he speaks.

"Just a little," Gojyo replies, debating his options and wondering just how much he is against a little rough play if the alternative means he has to call out to the monk and monkey for help.

Hakkai pushes Gojyo fully onto his back and leans over him, one hand still attached to Gojyo's wrist while the other stays pressed into the carpet near Gojyo's head. "Now, now, Gojyo…do you think I would give into you so easily when _sex_ is so clearly what you have been craving?"

The youkai's movements are so quick Gojyo is aware only of rushing air before he is suddenly on his feet and being pressed painfully back into the wall. He hisses at the jolt of collision, feeling dizzy at being lifted so swiftly. He shakes his head, focusing on green, on fangs, and on the clawed hands holding his shoulders.

The wrong move could end in some very nasty cuts.

"How does it feel to be so helpless against me…" Hakkai asks, pressing his body flush against Gojyo and pushing forward with all his weight. "_Me_…the perfect, submissive, polite and ineffectual mother of our…wayward group. Hmm? Tell me…Gojyo…do you like seeing a side of me you can't _bend_ to your will?"

Now Hakkai is speaking riddles, Gojyo thinks, for he honestly has no idea what the youkai is talking about. "Since when do you bend to my will?" Gojyo says before he has had time to clear his head fully and think better on what to say, "All those things you just called yourself, what a load of bullshit. Mother of the group? I'll give you that one. But you're not perfect…" he stops, moving his gaze over every changed feature on Hakkai's face, "…and I never want you to be."

Hakkai does not reply, but his strange and snarling expression flickers.

"Helpless? Do I feel _helpless_? Hell yeah I do. I got a 160 pound youkai of raw muscle and raw power pressing me back into a wall. I'm helpless. But you know what the really stupid thing is?" Gojyo pauses for effect, straining to smile and meet the gaze that has yet to waver as it watches him. "The stupid thing is…I'm still not nearly as afraid…as I maybe should be. Coz…shit, Hakkai…freaky as you are sometimes…you're still _you_."

That expression of unfathomable desire and animalistic intrigue slips from Hakkai's face. His eyes still glitter, his fangs still gleam within his open mouth, but he looks like himself somehow, so very tentative and aware. "I…would never…hurt you, Gojyo…" he says, his voice quiet and oddly calm, but still with its liberal remnants of gravel. "I would…never…do anything you did not want of me…"

"Yeah," Gojyo says softly, even less afraid and therefore, even more helpless now, "I know you wouldn't, Hakkai."

"Gojyo…" The senses in Hakkai telling him to seek, to overcome, to destroy in some form, any form, rise up in him slowly, trying desperately to take back the control they had so briefly held. Hakkai's hands start to shake and the tips of his claws scratch at Gojyo's skin.

Gojyo sucks in a quick breath. The cuts are small and shallow, they don't matter, he tells himself. But right now what he really wishes is that Hakkai's limiters weren't all the way across the room.

Still shaking, Hakkai removes his hands from Gojyo's shoulders, leaving them only slightly marred, and he stops pressing Gojyo so tightly to the wall. Their bodies are still flush, but Hakkai's hands slowly lower. Before they have gone even halfway, however, one of his more unseemly senses kicks in and they start to move back up.

Gojyo flinches when he feels Hakkai's claws touch his skin again and though the youkai is careful with them it makes little difference when the hands they are attached to are starting to wrap around Gojyo's throat.

Panic rises in the hanyou and a series of images rush through his head. His mother and her axe, Sanzo with his hands—just like Hakkai's—wrapped around his throat, Kami-sama and his damn beads, and a hundred other close calls Gojyo would rather forget.

Gojyo closes his eyes against the rise of images. He knows he isn't helpless. He knows he could still try to fight Hakkai somehow, but the strength to do so is lost somewhere and try as he might he cannot find it.

When he opens his eyes and meets emerald again, he feels the hands on his neck tighten with a sudden urgency, causing him to audibly choke, before the hands, the eyes, and the youkai himself…are suddenly gone.

By the time Gojyo has regained his breath, a very human looking Hakkai is heading towards him, limiters very neatly back in place.

"So…" Gojyo says, a grin on his lips at how he once again escaped the worst possible scenario, "Taking those things off releases your sadistic side, huh? Good to know. I just about shit my pants back there."

Hakkai does not return Gojyo's smile. He says nothing, but walks briskly to Gojyo and raises already chi-filled hands to heal the small cuts on Gojyo's shoulders and neck. The cuts are gone in barely a moment.

Without looking into Gojyo's eyes, Hakkai tries to pull away once he has healed his friend, but Gojyo grabs the man's very skilled and very beautiful hands and brings them to his lips. "Don't you _dare_."

"Dare…what?" Hakkai prompts softly, eyes cast to the floor.

"Don't be Goku."

Hakkai is silent for some time. "That was…not very wise, Gojyo." He says at last.

"You okay?" Gojyo says rather than address Hakkai's very true statement. He kisses Hakkai's slightly trembling hands again.

"Shouldn't I be asking _you_ that?"

"Nah." Gojyo counters, "So we got some issues to deal with. Okay. I can handle that. Apparently I gotta prove to you I don't see you as the submissive woman in the relationship. That should be easy enough."

Hakkai promptly blushes, though he tries to tell himself he has absolutely no idea what Gojyo means.

"And another thing…" Gojyo says, tugging on Hakkai's hands to pull the healer against him in a parody of how they had been pressed together with Hakkai's youkai form holding Gojyo against the wall. "Differences _proven_, Hakkai. You stopped yourself." And for his troubles, Gojyo is rewarded with the sweet sight of emerald green looking up at him. Gojyo grins. "All we gotta do now…is make sure you're always able to."

Hakkai's first thought is to disagree with this or to somehow come up with a reason why this incident means he should never again take his limiters off for such a purpose. But when he thinks back on what happened and how he had felt with his limiters off…somehow he knows he meant what he said when he swore he would never hurt Gojyo. He couldn't. Not really, not in the final, defining moment.

And even with how close things had come to turning as ugly as Hakkai most feared, Gojyo still trusted him and trusts him now. Gojyo's affection is not even the smallest bit changed.

"…agreed." Hakkai answers, smiling and meeting crimson without an ounce of hesitance.

"Good to hear. Now…about you and me and this submissive nonsense."

"Gojyo…"

"Just so you know, you can take me any time you want. I don't plan to be picky."

"_Gojyo_."

"I'm just sayin'."

"Well you can _stop_."

Gojyo sports a pout for barely half a second before his usual grin breaks the surface. "Can I start again tomorrow?"

Hakkai doesn't answer, but in the secret little corner of his mind reserved for racier, uninhibited thoughts, he answers with a very anticipating yes.

tbc...

A/N: Okay, this is another one of those chapters I'm not entirely sure about. The Hakkai limiter thing did not turn out quite how I wanted. What do you think? Anyway, I have some things to explain here, one being that I keep forgetting to give my dear wonderful roommate credit for the "Sanzo waking to Hakuryuu" moment, since I was complaining about forgetting the poor dragon and she said, "Well...why not have him there when Sanzo wakes up." Genius! Also, I am going into Media Deprevation for the next three days so I can't respond to reviews for a bit. This is also why I have stayed up way too late to give you a chapter since I can't go on the internet for a few days after this. And...since I can only do homework and write for three days...you'll probably have another chapter by Saturday. Go me! Love you guys as much as ever. Please let me know how this part went.

Crim


	11. Right Where He Wants

Right Where He Wants

* * *

"Sanzo…" 

"I'm _being _fucking still, god damn it, just take them off!"

Hakkai tries not to snicker at the monk's blatant lack of control. Being the next morning, the healer has dutifully appeared once again to remove Sanzo's bandages after last night's final ki treatment. However the cuts look now, there is little more he can do.

The pair is alone in the bedroom since both Gojyo and Goku, along with Hakuryuu, are downstairs eating breakfast. Goku had mentioned wanting to stay when Hakkai first came in but Sanzo made a big show of not needing the chimp every second of the day and that if he really wants to help he should leave and be productive. Eating is, of course, the most productive activity Goku could imagine.

"There. That's all of them." Hakkai says, tossing the last of Sanzo's bandages into the trash. To Sanzo's extreme impatience Hakkai seems hesitant to look directly at the monk's face, and even when he had been removing the bandages his gaze remained relatively passive. "Would you like my expert opinion then or…merely a mirror?" the healer adds.

"Just tell me, for fuck's sake," Sanzo grumbles, avoiding Hakkai's gaze perhaps even more than Hakkai is avoiding making his judgment, "I'm not a child. It doesn't matter either anyway." With a small huff, Sanzo adds, "If it looks terrible, maybe all those damn perverts will finally leave me alone."

Hakkai laughs good-naturedly, pleased that Sanzo is at least trying to seem at ease. But the monk's adamant display of apathy is quite telling of how he must actually feel, and the last thing Hakkai wants is to be the bearer of bad news. "Well then…" Focusing his eyes slowly, Hakkai turns his full attention to the details of Sanzo's face. He had noticed between treatments that the welts became less and less vibrant, but to be hopeful as to imagine not a single scar remaining is very foolish. Therefore, Hakkai rightly gasps when he looks…and finds not a single one.

Reflexively, Sanzo's fierce eyes tighten at hearing Hakkai's gasp, but he quickly opens them again to dismiss any thoughts of him being nervous. He stares up at the ceiling, saying nothing.

"Sanzo…" Hakkai begins in a gentle tone, "…I honestly don't know how you manage. But someone up there must really like you."

The ceiling is abandoned for Hakkai's kind face in a heartbeat.

Hakkai laughs, "Though I suppose you may not like the idea of someone looking out for you. Still…the skin is smooth, perfect. You would hardly know there had been such deep marks before. Goku will be pleased."

Turning the conversation onto Goku eliminates the need to add, "I'm sure you're pleased, as well, Sanzo," while still alluding to how true it must be.

Strangely, Sanzo is not as pleased as one might imagine. To Sanzo's own surprise…he is quite deeply disappointed.

Looking away from his smiling friend, Sanzo returns his gaze to the ceiling. Instead of finding blank, white plaster he is affronted with coinciding images that he has seen on numerous occasions. One a centipede-like patch of rubbery skin just above a good friend's navel, the other parallel lines that droop slightly beneath another good friend's left eye. He can recall not a single patch or gathering of lines on his own form and against his will it sickens him.

What makes him so pure, so above being marked? What makes him unworthy to carry tokens of mistakes and trials? What makes him untouchable alabaster when those closest to him are truly, humanly (even when they are not) vulnerable in ways he could only dream about?

It is a sick fancy perhaps that Sanzo longs to have some remembrance of Seiten Taisei's rampage, but just once he would like to prove he is not as untouchable as some would think.

He seems to forget that Goku too remains perfectly unmarred in all his lightly bronze-skinned glory. Not even a gash on his leg when he was younger stayed more than a day, each time smoothing out again. But Goku is something unlike all of them, Sanzo reasons, not a man who very likely should have died…over ten years ago.

"Ah, but there is one thing, Sanzo," Hakkai says, perhaps unaware of Sanzo's silent turmoil but pleasant regardless, "I hope it will not wound your ego too much, but there is one small mark remaining."

Sanzo must have heard wrong. He turns once more to face Hakkai.

"Yes, it seems the cut that ran through your eyebrow left a small reminder. It's not surprising really. Injuries there often come out this way. The hair will probably not grow back in that small area, but otherwise it is quite unnoticeable, I assure you."

Brimming with curiosity now, Sanzo reaches for the first time to touch his bandage-free face, running the tips of his fingers over his left eyebrow. Not quite in the center but slightly more towards his nose is a thin absence of hair where the eyebrow simply stops and then begins again a few millimeters later.

Sanzo supposes he can be satisfied with that.

Leaning forward to check Sanzo's temperature with a swift and practiced hand, Hakkai pulls back a moment later with a pleased nod and signals his departure.

"Rest yet today and we can leave some time tomorrow," the healer says, heading for the door. He speaks again quickly before Sanzo can interrupt, "And I know you feel fine and want to be moving, but although the wounds to your arm and hips appear smooth and healed as well, I know they still hurt. We'll leave tomorrow."

Much as Sanzo may want to protest, he knows it will do little good against Hakkai's maternal nature. He resolves to grunt his unenthusiastic agreement and rolls onto his side to rest, pleased that at least his hips feel good enough to allow him to sleep in a different position.

Hakkai smiles to himself before leaving, comprehending the monk's mood better than most could hope to.

-----

Goku remained down in the kitchen with Gojyo and Hakkai well after they finished breakfast. It was only when Gojyo told him to get lost and stop waiting around for lunchtime that Goku figured he could return to Sanzo without the monk yelling at him for being so over-attentive.

Traversing up the stairs, Goku quiets his steps a little more the closer he gets to Sanzo's room. He swells with pride at his self-restraint when he enters his and Sanzo's room to discover the monk sleeping, knowing that he actually did good for once and didn't wake his savior up. He creeps quietly after shutting the door behind him, conscious of every sound.

Hakkai had mentioned taking a trip into town, but Goku said the other two could go since he would much rather be as over-attentive as Sanzo keeps accusing him. Besides, Goku knows Sanzo isn't really upset by it or he wouldn't pull Goku close every time the monkey climbs into bed.

It is a risk to be sure, but Goku does not want to crawl into the empty bed next to Sanzo's. He figures he might as well try and slip in beside the monk carefully, and if Sanzo wakes up maybe he won't be so hard on Goku if the chimp is already in bed with him.

Goku is happily barefoot and in just his pants and T-shirt. He instantly feels more relaxed and off-guard this way, which, since he so often has to remain on-guard, is a welcome release. He still wishes he could be in just his pants and T-shirt without the limiter as well, but his hopes for reaching such a point have almost entirely dwindled. Sanzo is more important, and even if he might hurt the monk later, he would rather not speed the process along.

Settling in beside Sanzo without incident, he gives an internal shout of jubilation. He stays sitting up at first, not touching Sanzo but watching him, watching the small movements of the monk's body in breath and the rapid movement of his eyes in dreaming. He is turned on his side away from Goku but the monkey is enjoying peering over Sanzo to watch him sleep, so he doesn't really mind. Somehow, seeing Sanzo curled up this way makes him look even more approachable, though sleep often is enough to do some of that on its own. In sleep Sanzo cannot wear any of his façades, and without them he looks…

"Beautiful…"

Goku snaps his mouth shut. Even as a whisper he knows he shouldn't have said anything. Sanzo might wake up. But he cannot ignore the thought he voiced for it is very, very true. Sanzo has always been beautiful to him, since the first day Goku saw him with all the sun's light shining behind him as he came to Goku and reached out his hand. Sanzo is beautiful.

Goku gives a little start. The wrappings are gone from Sanzo's face, he sees now. He hadn't noticed at first. Sanzo is turned onto the side that partially covers his once scratched face, so Goku leans further over the monk to see. He releases his breath, not having noticed he was holding it. Sanzo does indeed look perfect and beautiful on both sides, not forever scarred as Goku feared. One thing Goku does notice but is not really disturbed by is the little nick in Sanzo's eyebrow.

Leaning further yet Goku dares reach a hand to touch the mark, only half aware of his actions until he has felt the tiny divot and pulled back. Goku is hovering very close to Sanzo now, barely able to keep from touching him, and still, the monk sleeps on. Goku ponders if Sanzo might be fooling him, but the even breaths and rapid eyes (still closed) seem genuine enough.

A wicked smile is on Goku's face before he can banish it. He leans the last bit closer to plant a very innocent kiss on Sanzo's cheek. When Sanzo fails yet again to wake, Goku plants another. Successful again, Goku begins a slow, soft trail of kisses down Sanzo's neck. He keeps going, his lips tingling with the feel of soft, warm flesh beneath them. Pulling the sheet down just the smallest bit, he reveals Sanzo's shoulders and kisses there as well. The skin on the curve of Sanzo's shoulder is so very sweet, Goku decides, and when the idea of 'sweet' is in his head he really has no choice but to try for a taste.

Sanzo moans ever so lightly and Goku freezes, managing to pull his tongue like a lizard's back into his mouth before Sanzo turns to look at him with a mild glare. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do I look like an entrée?"

All wickedness banishes from Goku's mind, replaced by a sense of utter disgust for allowing wickedness at all. Goku does not want to be wicked. He does not want to be like _him_.

It mystifies Sanzo that Goku does not speak and that the monkey seems to be losing every bit of color in his usually tan face. Soon, Goku even seems to be trembling. "Hey…cut that out," Sanzo commands, barking his words but meaning them at the deepest level.

Goku pushes himself up quickly, rapidly shaking his head and looking paler by the second. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sanzo. I didn't…I shouldn't have…I mean you weren't even…wh-what if…you didn't _want_ me to…"

Sanzo can hardly make sense of Goku's ranting but understands immediately his charge is having some kind of breakdown. Really, Sanzo thought he had dealt with all this shit, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. "Idiot, you never apologized before," he says, already exasperated as he reaches to grab Goku and yank the monkey back down beside him.

For the first time, Goku pulls out of his reach. "I…I'm sorry, I just…after what I…almost _did_…I…I shouldn't do things like that when you don't know, I mean…it's so…it's just like…"

"Goku, enough. You didn't do anything wrong. So you're a horny monkey. Who cares? I'm used to it by now."

Goku flinches. "But…but _he_…"

"God damn it."

Sanzo extends his reach to grab the monkey whether he wants to be caught or not and pulls until a shaking lump of mumbling, ranting, nonsense-talking pile of limbs is lying beside him. He turns Goku in his arms, the boy being only too compliant in this strange mood, until he can best pull the boy close. Goku's back is pressed into his chest and he holds him there firmly, speaking over Goku's shoulder.

"You're really getting on my nerves, ya know that? All this self-loathing crap, I can't stand it. We talked about this already. I'm not angry at you. You can say all you want that you and the other part of you are one in the same. But I'll tell you this. If he would have gotten what he wanted that day…it wouldn't have changed a damn thing between us." Within his tight hold Sanzo feels Goku's trembling start to cease, but the monkey says nothing, so Sanzo speaks on, "If you don't get the difference, then you really are an idiot. How could I be mad at you if I didn't see it as _you_? It was him. To me there will always be a you and a him, because when we're together there's never a question of dominance. Power doesn't belong to just one of us. With him? He wanted to claim something. I don't think you do."

"I don't! Of course I…don't," Goku jumps in, grabbing tight to the encompassing arms Sanzo has wrapped around him.

"So what does it matter to me if you try stuff without permission? Since when do you ask my permission for anything? I don't want you to. I don't want you thinking you have to. You'll piss me off if you try this spontaneous shit too often, but…never coz I'm thinking of you like _him_."

Goku quiets again, huddled in Sanzo's arms and enjoying the feel of the monk at his back, so warm and comforting. He understands his own foolishness but cannot escape it. Every sweet and supportive word from the monk is more than Goku would ever ask for, but in the back of his mind he still sees darkness. He sees that darkness in himself with fangs and claws and no…attachment.

And everyone needs a little attachment, don't they?

Holding Goku as close as he can without causing himself pain, Sanzo accepts the fleeting silence and closes his eyes, breathing in deeply the scents of Goku's hair and sun-kissed skin. Even when the monkey has bathed and been trapped indoors still does he smell of something wild and earthy. Sometimes Sanzo forgets how much he loves the smell before being reminded by Goku's absence, however brief. Only then, only when he can miss it does he recognize its worth.

"Goku…where's your pack?"

Sanzo's whisper is so light that although Goku hears it he is uncertain if he has heard correctly. "My…pack?" he asks.

"Where is it?" Sanzo asks again.

"Uhh…I think…behind you. In the corner."

Cold permeates the bed as Sanzo turns and shifts, leaving Goku on his own. Without the monk to hold him steady, Goku shivers, feeling strangely isolated. He does not turn to see what Sanzo is doing, but he lifts his head when there is the sound of a slight click as Sanzo places something on the nightstand.

But…what could he have gotten from Goku's pack? The monkey is about to turn and ask when Sanzo's warmth returns, along with arms that wrap affectionately around him. He forgets he even had a question, just resting again with Sanzo behind him and nothing but peaceful bliss between them. Like this, Goku can almost imagine nothing horrific happened those few days ago.

"Are you better now?" Sanzo whispers, his breath dusting Goku's ear.

It occurs to Goku as odd to hear Sanzo whisper in this manner, so feathery light. Sanzo can speak softly and even gently on occasion but never in a true, alluring whisper. The feel and sound of it is too strange, and Goku shivers before offering a weak nod.

"This will not come up again, you understand?" Sanzo says, still breathy but with more urgency behind his words, "No more guilt trips, no more sob story. I'm fine. And you and that other part, even while the two of you are the same, you're separate. He wants to claim me. You…want to be with me." Sanzo's whisper becomes so soft and—Goku dares not think it—_sensual_. "And…there is more than one way to be with me…if you want to prove how different the two of you are."

Goku's heart is already racing like a lab rat expecting to be shocked. At times the monkey may be a little slow on the uptake, but when something hits him, it all hits him at once.

Sanzo's question. The pack. Sanzo's tone. The click of something on the nightstand. Sanzo's words. The feel of more than warmth now, the feel of _heat_.

Goku blushes clear down to his toes. "Sanzo…"

"I'll prove it doesn't matter, Goku. It never did."

"S-Sanzo…" Goku hisses, sucking in a sudden gulp of air in reaction to what Sanzo is doing.

The monk's tight hold has loosened, one of his hands traveling seemingly innocent down to Goku's hip and then turning to reach between the boy's legs. The sensation has Goku completely floored. Sanzo has never touched him. It has always been Goku leading with Sanzo either unwilling to respond or returning caresses only fleetingly. The touch Goku is being granted now is anything but fleeting.

"San…zo…"

"So noisy…" Sanzo replies in his sensual whisper, "And if you ever stop being that way I'll never forgive you."

Goku would laugh if he thought Sanzo only meant his words in this context, but he knows Sanzo's command stretches further than the bedroom. If Goku wasn't a noisy monkey who would Sanzo tell to shut up? Who would Sanzo hear even when the rest of the world is silent?

True to form, Goku remains constantly noisy with little whines, yips, moans, and a long strain of muttered "Sanzos". Soon the initial novelty of this as the first time begins to pass and Goku relaxes into the sensation of Sanzo's hand working him.

The sound of a zipper being pulled down strikes Goku's ears before he notices how Sanzo's hand has shifted. He doesn't know what to expect next since Sanzo has shown such little sensuality in the past. Not that Goku would ever call Sanzo a poor lover—and the monk is an amazing kisser—but the novice level of Sanzo's love-life portrays itself far more than Goku's.

Sanzo reaches beneath the elastic of Goku's shorts and renews his hold, surprisingly self-assured. But he must be assured, for if he shows hesitance just now he might disillusion Goku into thinking he is resistant to repay what Goku so boldly gives without thought. Sanzo is not fearful of taking charge, only inexperienced. He means to prove to himself and Goku that if dominance means nothing than there should be an ease to their relationship in every form.

Squeezing experimentally the flesh in his grasp Sanzo relishes in the gasps that spill from Goku's lips. Before, Goku's only sounds of pleasure were by the monkey's own doing, regardless of the role Sanzo's body might have played. The other times Sanzo ran his hands over Goku's naked skin and kissed the boy's neck and chest, but it was such meager acts compared to the full indulgence Goku took in pleasuring Sanzo. Tonight any form of such one-sidedness will no longer have a place.

Sanzo moves his lips to the nape of Goku's neck, kissing there with each movement of his hand. Goku is quickly hard within his hold, still being wonderfully noisy, though not so loud Sanzo's fears Hakkai and Gojyo will come charging up the stairs. Sanzo is hardly the best judge of sexual satisfaction, on himself or others, but he knows what feels good and what can be a tease just on the border of pleasure.

Only when he has brought Goku to the edge, and the monkey is on the brink of falling to a blissful demise, does Sanzo stop. He slides Goku's pants and shorts down the boy's legs in a single, smooth motion, only stopping when the articles get caught around Goku's ankles. Desperate need has Goku madly kicking them off until they get lost somewhere in the sheets.

Impatient monkey, Sanzo smirks, pleased that Goku is clearly aware of what he plans to do and not at all against the idea. It annoys Sanzo how he has to uncoil his arms from around Goku in order to undo his own pants, so he works quickly, sliding his pants off to settle around his knees. The bandages over his hips are gone now, with only faint marks remaining of the puncture wounds that will soon heal. Over-activity still hurts though, and what Sanzo has in mind is definitely over-active. So he tells himself he doesn't care and reaches behind to grope for the tube on the nightstand.

Goku is being so still and silent, left alone to his thoughts while waiting for Sanzo's warmth to return. Sanzo does not like such stillness in Goku and runs a hand down the monkey's arm, slow and soothing.

"Hey…_brat_…I'm not looking for a dead-fuck here so you better snap out of it." Sanzo's words are seldom the type to offer pleasant solace, and besides, Goku is used to a rougher form of being pacified.

The norm works well, "I'm…I'm here, Sanzo…" Goku says, his voice shaky at the height of pleasure, still lingering in his body from Sanzo's touch. He looks over his shoulder, meeting violet for the first time since Sanzo awoke. "Sanzo…don't stop now…I want--"

"What do you want?"

Goku blushes, the intensity of violet searing back at him with something so blindingly sexy and…predatory. No! Not predatory, Goku thinks. Predatory is _him_. Sanzo wants _me_. He wants us to be equal.

And I want that too.

"I want _you_…"

Arching his neck back almost to the point of pain, Goku reaches for that lost touch of lips on lips. Sanzo's meets him halfway and the crick in his neck fades. The way Sanzo kisses him is…different somehow. Slower. Deeper. As if the monk is giving Goku the perfect preview to what he has planned.

The prospect has Goku shivering when they pull apart, and when Goku turns forward again to save his neck the strain, he consciously presses back into Sanzo until he can feel the hardening length of his master against him.

Sanzo fights off a deep shudder and squeezes Goku's shoulder. He can't wait much longer. He has to begin now.

A thorough coating is on Sanzo fingers and the tube is quickly forgotten, knocked off the bed or lost. Sanzo reaches for Goku's opening with hesitance he knows couldn't possibly compare with what the boy must be feeling. Goku is always so confident and sure when topping Sanzo, but this is a different dynamic, with Sanzo playing the game like he never has.

Goku gasps a little when Sanzo first begins to stretch him. It doesn't hurt—Goku's tolerance for pain is quite remarkable despite his constant shouts of 'ow!" whenever the fan comes into play—but the feeling is singularly unique. It makes his stomach feel funny, Goku decides, and he wonders how much of the feeling is due to angry butterflies.

"Sanzo…" _I'm ready._

"Mm." _I know._

Sanzo amazes himself for being able to take Goku as deeply as he does when he first begins to push in, because everything in the monk's line of vision is stars and flashes of light—his senses overrun. Goku is being noisy again and Sanzo can think of nothing better than finding more ways to draw little whimpers from his charge.

The first backstroke causes Sanzo to hiss more than Goku does. He has to be gentler, for Goku's sake and his own. No large sign remains on his skin of his wounds, but he is still sore where Seiten Taisei gripped his hips and plunged deadly claws. Sanzo does not want to be reminded. So he slows. Moving his hands to take Goku's hips in his grasp, he uses the monkey's lighter weight and moves Goku against him to better control each thrust. The ache in his own hips dulls but he keeps the rhythm steady and fluid to the most torturous extreme.

Goku gropes back with his hand to find some hold, some anchor, finally gripping the back of Sanzo's neck and leaning his head against the monk's chest. Sanzo seems to need the grip he has on Goku's hips, so Goku reaches down with his other hand, focusing fully on the sensations of Sanzo in him, around him, and with him, that it almost seems unnecessary when he reaches to touch himself.

Sanzo grunts something unintelligible and one of the hands that had been guiding Goku's hips slips around to knock Goku's hand away, taking the boy's hard flesh for itself. Goku gives no protest, half-smiling around his moans as Sanzo moves like the waves on a river behind him, gentle, giving. Even though Sanzo is taking him, the act is _giving_ and Goku thinks he finally understands what Sanzo is trying to tell him.

It's not about positions or power, and between the two of them they understand that. Seiten Taisei does not. And that makes all the difference.

Therefore, the only remaining thought Goku gives to the other part of him before succumbing fully to sensation, is that he wants more than anything else to teach his lesser half _how_ to understand. If only Seiten Taisei could know this feeling and allow it, everything would be different.

The very fleeting thought of removing his limiter passes Goku's mind…and immediately seizes him with panic.

No. Never. The next time Seiten Taisei is unleashed they are going to be ready for him.

"Ah!" Goku cries, the grip he has on Sanzo's neck tightening to the point of pain for the priest. Goku's prostate has just been given attention it never quite knew before.

"Goku…?"

"Good…" Goku gasps, by way of explaining it had not been a cry of pain, "So good…Sanzo. Don't…don't stop…"

Sanzo nuzzles his nose in Goku's hair, trying to concentrate on so many things at once. Moving the boy's hips with one hand and his own thrusts in a way that does not aggravate his wounds. Pumping Goku in a way that draws pleasure _out_ rather than forces it. Moving within Goku gently to make this easier on Goku's smaller—though honestly stronger—frame. Keeping his own voice from losing control while finding euphoria and hearing the gasps and groans from his partner.

As they near the end, Sanzo decides to hell with pride and holding back. He gives voice to his pleasure too, and the harmony in his deep and Goku's more tenor voice gives rise to quicker movements, to desperation. And then the whole perfect, beautiful mess is over like the crash of a wave, and both young men—aching—collapse against each other's bodies, boneless and limp on the bed.

A few minutes filled only with gasping breaths follow before Goku tilts his head back at that same awkward angle and kisses Sanzo with every ounce of strength in him. "Next time," the monkey whispers against the damp lips of his savior, "You're fucking me on my back." he says. And then grins. "I like seeing the faces you make."

Sanzo tries to scowl, but the smile twitching at his lips and making him forget all about the ache in his wounds makes the word that leaves his mouth sound purely like an endearment. "Brat."

-----

"But Doctor Nii, the treatments are so crude. How do we know Kougaiji and his fellows can withstand it?"

"They'll stand it well enough. The Sanzo party is ripe for the picking just now, my dear Hwan, and I wouldn't want to miss such a perfect opportunity."

"I suppose if I say I'm against this you won't bother listening."

"Against what, my dear? What it might do to Kougaiji's group or Sanzo's?"

"Both."

"Haha. Dear, dear, Hwan, such a sentimentalist. Don't worry that pretty head of yours, hmm? Trust me. This is what must be done. In the end we will have the sutra and isn't that our objective?"

"It is. I just don't understand why you need to resort to such…low acts to get it."

"Hahaha. Well…that part's just a bonus. Hahahaha…"

"I'll never understand you."

"Be glad for that then. Oh…and be a dear and send the Kougaiji group out first thing tomorrow, won't you? I think it's time things were set in motion."

-----

"Gojyo would you hand me that frying pan?"

"You're just gonna use it again. Why wash it?"

A single raised eyebrow is enough to tell Gojyo he should already know the answer to such a ludicrous question. Obediently, he walks over to the stove, grabs the dirtied frying pan, and hands it to Hakkai at the kitchen sink, whose hands are already almost elbow-deep in suds.

Hakkai offers a polite thanks and returns to his washing.

For a moment, enjoying a little domestic quiet, Gojyo leans back against the counter next to his friend and just…watches. He watches how Hakkai's arms are half-eaten by the sink. He watches how the man has to flick his head sharply to rid a piece of hair from his eyes while his hands are occupied. He watches how Hakkai's lips form a content little line and he listens to the very faint humming the healer cannot help produce, despite having absolutely no ear for music.

On principle, Gojyo loves watching Hakkai. How else could he be so good at his Hakkai-watching, after all? Even when he turns away and looks briefly up, wondering what the monk and monkey are doing to keep so busy when he and Hakkai have been downstairs for so much of the day, in the back of his mind he still sees flashes of green.

He stops thinking about Sanzo and Goku, because his mind has just pictured them in several compromising positions and then replaced their likenesses with his own and Hakkai, proving to cause a considerable amount of heat to travel south. He silently chides himself for having such little control over his libido. But really, why should he? Hakkai is the first man he has ever consciously, openly been attracted to, and damn it if the green-eyed beauty doesn't take his breath away like no woman ever has. It makes the pervert in him want to discover all sorts of ways to be deliciously lewd and muss up Hakkai's teacher persona. It makes him want to dig a little deeper for the Gonou that remains so he can find all Hakkai's hidden passion.

But above all, it makes him want to be terribly inappropriate in the kitchen.

"Gojyo, what are you doing?"

"Can't a guy get cozy with the man he loves?"

"Normally I would agree, but your idea of cozy is a rather indecent amount of contact while doing the dishes. Could you please remove your hands?"

Gojyo coils his arms around Hakkai even further, reaching below his friend's waist and grabbing a tight enough hold to pull Hakkai's back into his chest. He leans his head against Hakkai's and whispers, "Make me."

Even with his limiters in place, Hakkai's strength—with the aid of his focused chi—is greater than Gojyo's, and he dislodges himself enough to turn in Gojyo's hold, soaked hands and forearms at his sides now as he presses back against the sink.

Gojyo does not give Hakkai time to offer his next protest. He places his hands on either side of Hakkai, finding a hold on the sick at his friend's back and leans forwards. "Déjà vu, huh?" he says with a grin.

The desired effect is instantly brought out in Hakkai, for his cheeks blush bright red at the reminder of Gonou and the dreamworld Gojyo in such a similar position in _their_ kitchen. "G-Gojyo…" Hakkai stutters. He pauses a moment, trying to find the will to look away from brilliant, hungry crimson. "…that was the stove," he says at last.

Gojyo merely laughs at the discrepancy. "Same difference." He leans further forward, soon flush against Hakkai and able to feel the other man's hesitant breaths mingling with his own.

Trapped within their linked gaze, emerald and crimson glisten and dare and plead with one another. At long last, Hakkai speaks again, "If it's really déjà vu…shouldn't one of us be on his knees?"

The moment these words leave Hakkai's lips his wet hands fly up to clamp over his mouth. His eyes are wide now, looking back at Gojyo's which are positively grinning.

He speaks muffled words through his fingers, "Did that just come out of me?"

"Hehehe. I think I've unleashed a monster." Gojyo leers, bringing his smiling mouth right against Hakkai's cuffed ear. "Good for me…"

"Gojyo…"

"We gotta do this déjà vu justice, right…?" Large, skilled hands roam unabashed down Hakkai's sides and to the clasp of the healer's slacks.

"G-Go…jyo…"

Gojyo pulls back just enough to widen his grin and meet emerald one final time, before he grips the sides of Hakkai's pants and pulls them down level with his own movements as he drops down to his knees.

tbc...

A/N: Falling pants! Falling pants! AGAIN! Hehehe. :-) Gave a little more SanzoxGoku since Hakkai and Gojyo have gotten a good amount lately, and will soon get more. ;-) Nii's plan gets closer and closer and my oh my is it evil. At least to me. The Kougaiji group actually only has a small part to play, but it will be important. Rather happy with this part and adoring you all, as always. I apologize for it being Sunday and not Saturday, but it was a friend's bday yesterday. Also, that damn "Media deprevation" I had for class was hell in a handbasket, but I wrote and wrote and wrote. I also watched some Saiyuki this weekend. Ah, memories. My roommate and I even came up with the cutest humor fic that will be posted eventually. Be looking for that. You're all such dears and I don't know what else to say, so since my roommate is looking rather antsy next to me, I better post and ease her curiosity. Thanks, everyone, and do remember that lonesome review button.

Crim


	12. Not Quite What You'd Expect

Not Quite What You'd Expect

* * *

It may be said that Sha Gojyo is a man who would once have stopped at nothing to dispel people from thinking he was attracted to men. Having serviced a good many men during the less than desirable years of his life on the streets, he is no _stranger_ to sex with men, but admitting that or admitting liking it are worlds away from having been subjected to such things.

Now, for the first time in his life, Gojyo is willingly and happily on his knees, and even more than willing and happy to offer the _male_ love of his life a little of his expertise. Red eyes flash up at Hakkai briefly before taking thin hips in hand and leaning forward.

The moment slightly chapped but amazingly gentle lips descend upon his skin, Hakkai's knees nearly give out on him. He catches himself, reaching instinctively back to grip the sink behind him. He shudders so deeply his entire body shakes. Gojyo is taking him by inches, stroking with his talented tongue and moving lips. Hakkai has not felt this kind of intimacy in years, during years he would rather put behind him.

"Go…! Gojyo!" Hakkai closes his eyes tight, his teeth unconsciously worrying his bottom lip. His first instinct is to overcome the feelings of coursing pleasure coming from below the waist, but the second instinct, the more accommodating and wise instinct, wins over. It tells him to _be_ overcome. It tells him to let go and _feel_.

What Hakkai feels is teasing, wet heat and maddening caresses. He feels Gojyo—_Gojyo_—working him towards frenzy while spikes of pleasure shoot up his stomach. He feels glorious, carnal satisfaction.

Vaguely, Hakkai wonders if this is what Gonou felt, and then he realizes what a silly thought that is. What does it matter what Gonou felt when Hakkai is the one experiencing this? More importantly, what can Hakkai do with these new feelings now that he is the one facing them? What can he do with his _partner_ who is being so selflessly giving?

That accommodating and wise instinct gives way to a third, one that understands fulfilling desire and the basest of passions. Hakkai decides quite merrily to hand control over to this long forgotten instinct and once he has passed on the reigns he soon has Gojyo by the shirt collar and is moving the standing, stumbling hanyou towards the wall.

Hakkai slams Gojyo hard but not violently. Somewhere along the way he stepped out of his fallen pants and is now bare from the waist down, looking at Gojyo from under heavy lids with eyes that speak silent volumes of wanton lust.

A monster indeed, Gojyo thinks with a wry grin, and he is not at all disturbed or uncomfortable with how quickly Hakkai has moved them into this new position or with how Hakkai kisses him fiercely. This is just the outcome Gojyo was hoping for, even if he barely got to show off his talents before Hakkai turned déjà vu into a very new and exciting experience.

It really is unfair that Hakkai is without his pants, Gojyo decides, and within their kiss he begins to undo his own. Hakkai only notices this when Gojyo starts to shrink in height as he tries, somewhat unsuccessfully, to lower his pants to the floor. Gojyo grins stupidly at Hakkai's incredulous expression, but is granted not a chide nor a laugh but an uncharacteristic smirk. Hakkai is gone the next second and Gojyo's pants are gone after that. Hakkai returns to kiss Gojyo soundly and when their half-naked bodies press tight together for the first time the suddenly higher stakes don't seem all that frightening.

Of course, Gojyo was hoping for this too, and now that he has Hakkai right where he wants him—with the brunette thinking he has Gojyo right where he wants _him_—Gojyo very stealthily slides a hand slowly up Hakkai's arm, to his neck, and into soft brown hair. He pets the strands while they kiss and give like thrusts of naked hips, but he does so only until Hakkai is thoroughly drunk on sensation and will not notice…when his hand slips to the turned-youkai's left ear.

With a wicked, knowing grin Gojyo plucks Hakkai's limiters off in a single motion before his dear, occupied friend can offer even a prayer of protest.

"Gojyo, no!" comes the protest anyway, too late, as Hakkai pulls back with wide panicked eyes and claws at Gojyo's tightly clenched fist where the limiters are being held captive.

But Hakkai is not fast enough, not steady enough to pry Gojyo's hand open, and he falls forward, bracing himself on the wall with hands on either side of Gojyo's body. His entire frame shudders, transforming quickly this time, quicker than before.

Fully aware of this more than likely foolish decision, Gojyo opens his hand and lets the limiters clink, clink, clink to the kitchen floor, never once turning his attention from the changing youkai pressed against him so intimately. He is counting on that intimacy being a buffer, a lifeline, but he is not so brainless as to think a good outcome will come without at least some discomfort on his part.

Each of Gojyo's wrists are caught in a stinging grip and pressed back into the wall as iridescent eyes look up at Gojyo from under long, dark strands of hair. Being more confident this time, Gojyo takes the time to really look at Hakkai in his youkai form, not overwhelmed as he was the night before. Hakkai's ears are longer than, say, Kougaiji's, for instance, elegantly pointed, and they are the only flesh on his body not covered in vines.

Looking unafraid into luminous emerald, Gojyo decides Hakkai's monocle looks supremely out of place on such a wild creature.

"That was not very smart…Gojyo."

"Nope. Don't suppose it was."

Hakkai gives a strange little growl and leans his face close enough for his and Gojyo's noses to almost touch. His grip on the kappa's wrists tightens and his eyes speak a warning of dangerous intent.

Therefore, the youkai is rather surprised when his prey responds with a smirk and the deliberate pressing of a naked thigh against hard, heated flesh. The noise that leaves Hakkai's throat is a very different growl this time, more evenly sustained like a…purr. Gojyo decides it must be a youkai thing he never had the pleasure of getting to know on a personal level. Until now.

"Gojyo…"

"We were in the middle of something, huh?"

Hakkai tilts his head, the danger in his eyes coupling with a look of confused pleasure. "Why…?" he says, his rumbling, lower voice hesitant and questioning.

A corner of Gojyo's mouth twitches, debating whether or not to form a deeper smirk or transform it into a more affectionate smile to mirror the feelings he will always have for the brunette. "How else was I supposed to prove I trust you, no matter the form, no matter the circumstance?" he says, choosing a hybrid of his smirk and affectionate smile, "Sometimes a guy has to go all or nothing. As a card shark you should know that."

"Mmm…" Hakkai rolls his hips, pressing Gojyo deeper into the wall, but not uncomfortably so, not with how both men's hips form against one another's curves so well. "So…Gojyo…are you asking for…_all_?" The purr is still evident in Hakkai's changed voice.

Gojyo shivers, partially from how anxious and on guard he must be when dealing with Hakkai's less than inhibited self and partially from the feel of Hakkai's naked lower half rubbing so insistently against his. "Kai…" he says, grinning madly now at his worked-up friend, "I'm asking for everything you wanna give me."

Hakkai takes no time deliberating and has Gojyo spun, face to the wall, in half a second. Gojyo didn't even get so much as a growl as warning before finding himself in this very tell-tale position, but his initial reaction is internal jubilation. He figures he can handle a rough fuck if it means Hakkai's youkai self will get over his issues.

He also figures it gets him what _he_ wants too. Positions aside, Gojyo has really been craving this. He may boast all he wishes, but the truth of the matter is he hasn't had a role in the hay since before they left on this damn mission. He needs to get laid, and if Gojyo knows Hakkai as well as he thinks—which he is certain he does—Hakkai needs it even more.

Unfortunately, the next words out of Hakkai's mouth are not exactly ones Gojyo considers reassuring, "What do you suppose would hurt more…" the youkai says, "a dry fuck…or claws?"

Gojyo wonders which is more disturbing, that question, the answer, or hearing Hakkai say 'fuck.' He is fairly certain he does not want those ridiculously sharp talons anywhere near his ass, but sex without preparation when it has been a long time since Gojyo was on the receiving end is not all that desirable either.

"Gojyo…"

One of Hakkai's hands has a renewed grip on Gojyo's left wrist, holding it against the wall, but the other hand trails the tips of claws down Gojyo's back, careful not to tear the hanyou's favored white tank top but still hinting at danger. Especially when those claws pass the hem of Gojyo's shirt and glide over the revealed curve of Gojyo's rear end.

The most prominent thought in Gojyo's hand is most definitely '_shit_.'

"No…! Uhhh…just…just do it like this, all you, no prep, I can handle it." Gojyo pleads, vaguely thinking just how risky a situation he has put himself in. He speaks quickly, "I'd rather save the claws for a night I'm feeling a tad more suicidal. If it's all the same to you…baby." Even to Gojyo's ears that last addition sounded forced. He hopes Hakkai doesn't pick up on just how nervous he is.

"You're scared, aren't you?"

Fuck.

"Don't be scared…Gojyo," Hakkai purrs beside Gojyo's ear, releasing his wrist at last and gently running both hands down Gojyo sides and back, slipping up the redhead's shirt. Barely at all does he allow his claws to graze Gojyo's skin, adding just enough of a soothing edge to make Gojyo shiver. "Relax, hmm? And perhaps…you won't have to scream right from the start."

Well, fuck again. Gojyo is pretty certain those words were not comforting.

He braces himself for the worst, but instead of feeling sudden pain he begins to hear a strange wet sound he can't quite place. Peering over his shoulder he sees that Hakkai is trying to gather as much remaining water and dishsoap from his arms to better lubricate the process. Hakkai's cock is a little wet already, Gojyo thinks with a smirk. He figures he won't be smirking for long, but decides to bear it anyway. He got himself into this position all on his own, and Sha Gojyo does not run from a challenge, especially not one he set up for himself.

The first feel of pressure from behind has Gojyo sucking in a sharp breath, but he must be calm, relaxed, as Hakkai said. He stares at his hands bracing himself against the wall, both his wrists glistening with water they picked up from Hakkai. He can feel one clawed hand holding his hips and the other he imagines must be helping Hakkai guide his way in. To be honest Gojyo is surprised how little the first few inches hurt.

And then Hakkai slams forward.

"Shit! Holy…fuck!" Eyes watering, Gojyo leans all his weight into the wall, willing himself to adjust to the sudden intrusion of the full length of Hakkai inside him.

A second hand grips his hips, both holding tight now, tight enough for Gojyo to feel the slight prick of claws. He tells himself it doesn't matter. He tells himself he can do this. He tells himself he can _love_ this. Because it's Hakkai, and Gojyo has always loved everything about Hakkai, even when he didn't quite know what the emotion was.

Small, twitchy movements signal just how much Hakkai wants to ravage his partner, but the resistance to do so proves how much the youkai is controlling himself. He is waiting for Gojyo to adjust, to relax, to be ready.

Pressing his face to the back of Gojyo's neck, Hakkai digs his nose into long, red hair and breaths in all the scents of Gojyo—lingering nicotine so much fainter with the lessened amount of smoking, dulled cologne Gojyo has a habit of wearing even when not going out to impress the ladies, and the alluring scent of sweat, seeping with pheromones that drive Hakkai over whatever edge he had been teetering on.

No questions are asked of whether or not Gojyo is ready before the first brutal backstroke comes.

Hakkai's mind is focused chaos in his youkai form and he can only comprehend so much at a time, only control so much of himself. Right now his instincts are screaming 'sex' and sex is all he knows. Sex now. Sex with Gojyo. Full and absolute indulgence in _Gojyo_. And so he pounds relentlessly forward and back, gripping thin hips and digging his head into Gojyo's head, into Gojyo neck, into Gojyo's shoulders. Hakkai wants full contact with Gojyo in every way possible, because his brain is screaming even louder 'sex,' 'sensation,' 'hedonistic bliss,' and Hakkai can do little but obey his one-track way of thinking.

Hakkai manages to get Gojyo's hair off one shoulder, leaving the hanyou's neck visible and open. It looks so beautiful to Hakkai, revealed with so much red to frame it that he cannot stop himself when he leans over Gojyo's shoulder and sinks his sharpened teeth into the flesh.

Rather than cry out, Gojyo's reaction to this brutal kiss is a lengthy moan, his eyelids fluttering against the combining feel of pain and pleasure. He knows Hakkai's bite is more than likely drawing a little blood but not truly hurting him, just as he knows the brutal thrusts of Hakkai's hips aren't really causing him injury. Hakkai is taking him so deeply, the hanyou's heightened pleasure spot is found with each motion. Soon, Gojyo is offering a string of moans, ending only when he takes a breath. The low grunts and strange purrs from behind him only increase how good it feels.

"Fuck…_fuck_…" Gojyo is so close now and he is more than thankful at Hakkai's increasing speed and fervency because he needs release desperately and cannot imagine trying to last a second more.

When he comes it is the most incredible release, blinding him and causing sparks to fly past his vision so that he fears he might pass out. He does not, and when he hears Hakkai give a growling cry, he knows the youkai is right there with him even before he feels his friend release as well.

Panting against the wall, bodies pressed tight and knees shaking, they try to stay upright, but when Hakkai pulls out and away, Gojyo crumbles to the floor. With little ceremony, Hakkai allows himself to crumble as well, landing so that his body is just next to Gojyo and his head is nicely laid on the hanyou's chest.

They breathe, not speaking. Hakkai curls himself in close against Gojyo, a youkai ear tight to Gojyo's chest to hear the rabid beating of his heart. A clawed hand reaches up and begins to lazily scratch over Gojyo's stomach, shallow enough to barely leave a trail in its wake. His brain is currently telling him 'tired,' 'happy,' 'rest now,' and as before he is more than willing to listen to his overpowering instincts.

Gojyo, looking down at the youkai with him, breaks into a tired grin. He closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling of Hakkai's warmth and the gentle claws running over his skin. "Heh…is it weird that I _really_ like how that feels…?"

"Mmm…"

"How 'bout how I think you're crazy sexy like this?"

Hakkai growls softly.

"Not _only_ like this. Just sayin'."

"Well…now…Gojyo…you got your way, didn't you?" Hakkai's voice is even more gravelly than Gojyo remembers it, gruffer in the aftermath.

Gojyo widens his grin, eyes still closed in bliss. "Oh yeah."

"Will you…please find my limiters…then?"

It takes Gojyo a moment to register that the gentle claws on his stomach are starting to press a little harder. As long as Hakkai is focused on a single, specified thing, his youkai self can have some semblance of control, but when you take focus away he knows only destruction as he knew when he first came into being. Gojyo gets that, and thankfully, he reaches behind him quickly and gets Hakkai's limiters too.

Moving to place them on Hakkai's left ear, which Hakkai has to offer him by lifting his head, Gojyo cannot repress his smile in being able to do this. Hakkai grips Gojyo's wrist but does not strain against it, allowing Gojyo to carefully place each limiter back where it belongs. The grip on Gojyo's wrist tightens as Hakkai trembles and shifts back into his human form, shorter brown hair looking damp and tousled.

Gojyo smiles into the emerald eyes watching him so wordlessly now. "Hey there." He says.

"I should hit you for that." Hakkai replies.

"Yeah…probably. But you won't."

"You don't think so?"

"Nope."

"And why not, may I ask?"

"Because," Gojyo winks, "that was one helluva first time."

"Gojyo…"

"And no, I don't have some weird youkai fetish for you to worry about. I just needed to make a point. Next time you can fuck me with the limiters on. Or, uhh…you know…"

"Switch roles?" Hakkai offers, a smirk of his own beginning to form since he really isn't as upset as he might let on.

Gojyo loves how Hakkai reads him so well. "If that's what you want."

Hakkai merely smiles, but it is all the answer Gojyo needs.

The pair lays on the kitchen floor a few minutes more but eventually Hakkai's obsessive compulsiveness kicks in and he has to get up, going immediately for a rag to clean the stains on the wall and floor. He cleans himself off as well and hands a cloth down to Gojyo who does the same.

Gojyo decides he isn't going to get up just yet, and feels pretty justified in that decision. Besides, seeing Hakkai from this angle while the healer looks about the room with a truly scandalized expression, is just too good a show to miss.

"I have to make dinner in this kitchen."

Gojyo barks out a laugh. "So?"

Shuffling humorously on his feet, Hakkai hovers over Gojyo, eyes darting over every surface of the kitchen, not just the place of their unseemly act. "I should…I need to…something." He mumbles.

"It's perfectly clean." Gojyo assures his friend, having watched Hakkai clean, and clean again the places that needed it. "Besides…the monkey's gonna smell it anyway." He adds.

Really, sometimes he adds things just to see Hakkai's reaction. "Oh goodness." Hakkai says, hand flying up to cover his mouth at such a horrific thought. The look on his face screams prude, screams mother-who-needs-to-shield-her-child-from-the-world, despite how amazingly sexy and dominating he had been minutes before.

Gojyo has to admit, he likes the whole dual-nature thing. It makes for a much more interesting relationship.

Later, Hakkai ended up bringing dinner _to_ Sanzo and Goku and the four men ate upstairs. Hakkai refused to consider any other option. When asked about this decision, Hakkai simply shrugged and tossed Gojyo glares if the redhead showed any signs of telling the truth. Throughout dinner, Gojyo and Goku shared conspiratory looks, proving that words are not always necessary for gossip.

All in agreement to leave the following morning, the couples have now parted to their separate rooms. Not everything is solved, of course, but the idea of getting back on the road is more appealing than it has been in a long time.

-----

Blood. So much blood. He doesn't want anymore blood, not more blood, not when there has been so much in his life. Why…? Why does it always have to be blood…

…from those he loves?

Standing before Sanzo is the very image of Seiten Taisei…except it is not. Oh, the form is Seiten Taisei, with fangs and claws and longer hair, but the eyes…the eyes staring back at him with a look of utter betrayal…those are _Goku's_ eyes.

Sanzo's hand is shaking, shaking so much it travels up his arm and soon he is trembling all over. Why is his gun in his hand, why is it smoking from use, why is there a deep wound pouring blood from Goku's—_Goku's_—stomach? Sanzo has feared this outcome for so long, feared it dreadfully, but now, when he has finally been forced to pull the trigger on the dearest of treasures in his life, it is not the monster who has been harmed but the boy.

Like wax melting in the sun the features of Seiten Taisei become fully those of Goku, soon matching the presence of Goku's eyes. There is no mistaking that it is Goku whom Sanzo has shot and as all color drains from the boy's face and he crumbles to the ground, Sanzo can imagine nothing sweeter than turning his gun on himself.

When Sanzo wakes his initial instinct is to push himself up and take a few deep, calming breaths. But, being on his side with Goku curled up against his back, Sanzo is forced to push up with use of his _left_ hand. His wrist, the only part of him still bandaged and sore, throbs at the sudden use. Sanzo grits his teeth and hisses, falling back to the bed. His wrist is pulsing in pain and he remembers Hakkai wanted to give him something to numb it, as he has been, but Sanzo declined. Now that the numbness is wearing off for the first time, it having gone from completely limp to mildly useful over the past few days, it burns.

Sanzo kept forgetting his injured wrist because it is his left and he is right-handed, not needing it to eat his food and reach for a glass of something to drink, not needing it to turn the knob on a door and run his fingers through his hair. Reminded so heavily of it now, he wonders anxiously why Hakkai hasn't said anything about the wrist since the first day.

Pained from the dream and his injury, Sanzo resolves to get out of bed and clear his thoughts. He dislodges himself from Goku's hold carefully, sure that Goku hasn't stirred, and slips off to the bathroom. He flips on the light and closes the door behind him, taking a moment to study—_really_ study—his form in the mirror.

He looks like shit.

The only wrappings on him are the ones on his wrist, but he is still bruised and tired. His face doesn't look all that bad really, and Sanzo is still strangely fond of the nick in his eyebrow, but he looks…thinner somehow and frazzled, on his last nerve. He _is_ on his last nerve, he decides, furious with himself for looking so weak.

Lifting his wrist in the light and turning it to test its mobility, Sanzo is pleased he can move it with seeming ease. He reaches—left-handed—for a bottle of shampoo left out on the countertop, testing the feel of it in his hand and even tossing it into the air a bit to catch it. No problem. Finally, Sanzo presses his left palm into the wall next to him and leans his weight on his left wrist.

Suddenly, the pain is so great Sanzo sees nothing but stars before he is on the ground, having stumbled, falling to the cold tile next to the toilet. His head strikes the floor hard and there is a sound—a sound Sanzo's knows to be only his imagination—like a gong.

Images fly before his open, unseeing eyes. He sees Goku, smiling, laughing, eating, jumping about. Each picture goes by much quicker than real time. And then, suddenly, he is dreaming again, and he sees Goku without the original guise of Seiten Taisei to dull the blow. No, this time it is Goku from the start who looks at him with such sorrow, such pleading gold eyes, and it is Goku who crumbles—yet again, oh, how many times Sanzo has had this vision—to the unforgiving ground. Dead.

Sanzo crawls, moaning, to the toilet's edge, and grips as tight as he can with both hands even while his left wrist is still burning. He hoists himself up and vomits what little food he had eaten that day into the pristine bowl.

When he is through, he wipes a shaking hand across his mouth and feels thoroughly disgusted with himself. Here again he is proving his increasing weakness, his inability to fend for himself as he used to so effortlessly.

In his anger, Sanzo slams his good hand to the floor and howls.

"Shit, man, you fallin' apart in here, or what?"

Sanzo's head snaps to the door—that he never heard open—and sees red, so much red, so much…_red_. Gojyo really does have some of the worst timing. "Fuck off," Sanzo says. It really is the best thing to say to Gojyo when nothing else seems right.

The kappa stares down at Sanzo and crosses his arms, looking all too high and mighty as he stands there. "Pretty tired right now, actually, but maybe later."

Sanzo grimaces and grips the toilet harder to better push himself onto his knees so he can get up.

"Hey…need a hand?"

"Don't touch me." Sanzo growls, swatting the hand Gojyo offers away from him and proceeding to stand on his own. Once on his feet he almost immediately sways, but Gojyo is quick to intercept and catches him.

"Careful now, you're beaten, tired, and about ten pounds lighter judging by the mess in the toilet. And believe me, bouzu, the last thing you need is to be skinnier."

"Shut up. Leave me…alone." But Sanzo's voice is weak, his eyes half-closed as he tries, unsuccessfully, to steady himself on his own power. He ends up leaning into Gojyo more for all his trouble, clutching at the kappa's arms. "Let…let me go."

Gojyo huffs at Sanzo's pathetic attempt to be commanding just now. "Sure thing, goldilocks, and when I do you go splat back onto the tile. You really want that?"

"F-Fuck off…"

"Yeah, yeah, come up with a new one, will ya?"

Maneuvering the monk as carefully as possible, Gojyo steps forward, dragging Sanzo's limp form over to the toilet. He kicks the seat down and lowers Sanzo onto it, sure to keep a hand on Sanzo's shoulder in case he decides to sway again.

After catching a quick breath and feeling a little steadier, Sanzo looks up to meet the crimson eyes watching him so closely. For once they do not regard him with anything smug or teasing.

It almost keeps Sanzo from saying the words he uses next. "Come up with a…new one? How about…your mother was a whore."

And true to form, Gojyo's smug grin returns, and he is more than ready with a comeback. "Nice one. But which mother, man? Specifics, huh, specifics." He says with a wink.

Sanzo almost laughs but swallows it back and swats Gojyo's hand from his shoulder instead. "I'm fine. Don't treat me like…I'm…fragile."

Gojyo stands up straight, looking down at Sanzo again and keeping an eye on the monk should he suddenly swoon. "Shit, _you_? _Fragile_? That damn alabaster skin of yours has gotta be fuckin' titanium the way you get by. Normal standards should have you dead ten times over by now."

"Twenty." Sanzo corrects.

"Thirty-five." Gojyo offers.

"A hundred."

"Maybe a thousand, huh?"

"Don't push it."

And Gojyo laughs, never one to undermine the chance for a good release of mirth. He wishes Sanzo got the point of that. "Yo," he says, bopping Sanzo very lightly on the temple with a closed fist, "Keep your eyes on me. I don't want you passing out. You hit your head, right? Hakkai would kick my ass if you keeled over with me standing right here. What's up with you tonight anyway?"

This is Sanzo's cue to leave. He tries to stand but an insistent and heavy palm lands on his shoulder and holds him down.

"Oh no ya don't. Spill it already. I come in to find you half conscious, puking your guts out, and you think I'm gonna let that go?"

"Get your hands off me." Sanzo growls, trying to shrug Gojyo's touch away, and then trying to pry it off, though neither of his hands is listening to him since his mind is still so hazy.

Gojyo tightens his grip, crouching to better look at Sanzo level. "No evading, droopy-eyes. I want it from ya straight. If you're messed up you gotta let us know. Goku's freaked enough and the stakes are getting a helluva lot higher these days, if ya didn't notice. For instance, you and the monkey getting all cozy is not going unnoticed."

The glare Sanzo offers to the word 'cozy' and its implied meaning is admirable but still not enough to get Gojyo to back off.

"And—though I'm sure you don't wanna hear it—Hakkai and I are getting pretty cozy too."

Sanzo rightly sneers at the comment.

"Meaning," Gojyo presses on, "If something's gonna mess this up for us it damn well better be an outside force. Ya get what I'm sayin'? If you need to work something out, talk already. It'll be a lot more painless in the long run."

"I don't have anything to say to you."

"No? How 'bout things to the monkey?"

Sanzo flinches. Why does Gojyo have to do this, knowing all the buttons to push and pushing them as hard as he can? Why? "Why do you care?"

Letting himself fall to his knees, since his joints are getting a little annoyed with being crouched, Gojyo has to look up at Sanzo now, but frankly, he doesn't mind one bit. "Because, _asshole_, I'm here…and I'm listening." He says, his voice even and his gaze steady on vibrant violet. "Even if your pretty-boy mug pisses me off more often than not, I'm listening. Coz fate is a cruel bitch and she is always looking for new ways to screw me. Making _you_…one of the best friends I got."

Sanzo glares, straight forward, right into the void of crimson red, but crimson is not looking back at him with anything even close to a challenge. Gojyo is looking at Sanzo with sympathy and understanding. That look should make it worse, but somehow, despite all of Sanzo's pride and stubbornness, it doesn't.

Gradually, Sanzo's glare begins to soften, his expression falling blank and his body still very limp as he sits on the toilet with Gojyo of all people knelt in front of him. Sanzo stares down at his hands hanging between his legs. He tries to pretend that it isn't Gojyo, that it is some stranger or maybe Hakkai who is here with him, asking for him to speak what he has told no one. But red is imprinted in his brain now, and when he really thinks about it, he doesn't mind nearly as much as he wants to believe.

"I don't…want…" Sanzo tries, eyes clenched tight now and mouth speaking almost against his will. "I don't want to…kill him." He says, his voice gentler than Gojyo thought it knew how to sound. "I don't know what I'd do…if it came to that. I'd kill him, I _would_, I've said it enough times. What choice would I have? But to _do_ it. Afterwards I'd…I'd…"

"Probably die too."

Sanzo doesn't reply. He remembers clearly the night he and Gojyo first met when the kappa told him that after Hakkai took care of his unfinished business, the brooding brunette would probably die. Because it's just the kind of guy he is.

Was, Sanzo reminds himself, but he imagines Gojyo must be reminded of the same thing.

Hasn't Sanzo always been the one to say dying is just a fool's way out? If you die it makes no difference, but if you _live_ at least then you can do something? So why is Sanzo not saying anything to disagree with Gojyo's assumption?

Leaning forward to catch his face in his hands, Sanzo doesn't have to answer that question. His dreams have told him over and over just what he would want from life if he was forced to kill Goku. The desire is so strong in his dreams. The desire…to bring his gun to his own temple.

Would he do it? Would he actually do it?

"They won't stop…" Sanzo says, harsh and breathy and muffled by his hands. "Every night…the same…thing. He isn't even…always…_him_. Sometimes he's just the stupid monkey and I…still…I…"

"Whoa, man. You start crying and I think I might have to declare the end of the world."

Sanzo releases a strangled half laugh and looks up, not thinking to make his face blank but laying bare all his emotions for Gojyo to see. He would pull them back, pull them in if he thought Gojyo was in any way mocking him or looking down on him. But despite every argument—frequent argument—Gojyo has never once looked down on Sanzo.

Not the way Sanzo looks down on him.

Sanzo feels a knot in his stomach tighten. Gojyo has moved a hand to rest on his knee, offering comfort without asking anything in return. Just how dangerous this is, how dangerous it is for him to accept such affection, flashes brightly in Sanzo's mind. The only thing keeping him from listening to the painful reminder of 'no attachment; no loss' is how he has already given up in so many ways. He has given himself over to Goku. He has been acting nicer to both Goku and Gojyo. He has started to care about all of the men in his party. Well, started to realize he cared all along.

He isn't quite ready to call Gojyo friend, not aloud, but he doesn't think he minds believing it a true statement. And so, to his own surprise, he does not brush Gojyo's hand from his knee, but allows it, and looks unabashedly into the kappa's face as Gojyo speaks.

"Dreams sure can suck. I know. I've had more nightmares than I care to tell." Gojyo says, "And ya know…there's really nothing I can say to make it better. It's possible the chimp _will_ go psycho on us one day. It's possible the only way to stop him might be that damn gun of yours. It's possible…it's _for sure_…that if that happens, it'll hurt like hell. For all of us. But if you do want to kick it afterwards, I can guarantee ya, you got at least two idiots who are gonna try and stop you."

Sanzo huffs. Like he didn't know that already. Nosy bastards.

"So…guess you're just gonna have to tough it out, bouzu. But I'll tell ya one thing, if there is anything I can do to make sure things never come to that…I'll do it. I'll do it gladly. You're not the only one who wouldn't know how to live without that damn monkey around, ya know."

Yeah. Sanzo knows that too. And it scares him to death. It scares him that all of them are willing to admit their affections on all their different levels for one another. He expects it from Goku. He even expected it from Hakkai. But now _Gojyo_ too.

This might be too much.

"Enough already." Sanzo says, abruptly standing and willing himself not to sway. Gojyo stands as well, a little too close for Sanzo's liking. The monk meets crimson and tries to narrow his eyes as best he can. "If you try and hug me or some shit, I'm using that damn gun of mine on _you_."

Gojyo chuckles. Truth be told, he is pleased to hear Sanzo's response and pleased to comply. It just wouldn't be right if Sanzo acted differently. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Sanzo-sama," he says, backing away with his hands held up in mock defense. "Get back to your monkey, huh. I gotta take a shit in here."

"Damn cockroach." Sanzo growls as he heads for the door, turning his back to Gojyo quickly so the redhead will not see the great relief on his face.

Gojyo laughs again, feeling rather proud for solving a situation with Sanzo in a way that didn't result in blows or death threats. Well, only one death threat. "Fuckin' monk," he mumbles, but even as he says it he is smiling. Somehow, though Sanzo is quickly making his retreat, Gojyo thinks the monk might be smiling too.

-----

The next morning, busily working in the kitchen to make breakfast, Hakkai is the first awake. He slipped away from Gojyo soundlessly, hoping to have the pleasant smells of a good meal wake his companions since it might be quite some time before they have the pleasure of eating a home-cooked meal again. Much to his surprise—though perhaps it shouldn't be—Goku is the first to find his way into the kitchen.

Hakkai has a brief moment of reminiscent fear concerning Gojyo's comment yesterday, but since Goku doesn't seem all that interested in anything other than breakfast, he quickly forgets about it.

"Hungry?" he asks the boy.

Goku looks up from the simmering food and nods eagerly, his tongue swiping out to lick at his lips.

Like a good mother should, Hakkai gestures Goku to the table and soon brings over a plate for him to start on. "Is Sanzo awake yet?" he asks, returning to the stove.

"Nah," Goku says, taking a big bite and continuing to speak through his chewing, "But he's…mmm…he made a few noises like he might be getting up. I woke so hungry I didn't wait to see."

Hakkai shakes his head, smiling. "Well, he should be feeling much better today, don't you worry. I'm sure he'll be back to his old self in no time at all once we're on the road."

"Well…not his whole normal self, I hope," Goku adds.

"Quite."

Looking over his shoulder, Hakkai passes Goku a half questioning, half knowing look. Goku takes another large bight but smiles around it, a great happy light sparkling in his eyes that had been so horribly dulled the past few days.

Hakkai decides to leave the remainder of breakfast to simmer until Gojyo and Sanzo come down. He moves to sit next to Goku, not having taken a plate for himself just yet. "Goku," he begins, "I trust you are feeling a bit better yourself, hmm? After all, Sanzo should be fine, the rest of us are perfectly all right as well, and…though I would never pry, I take it things are going well…romantically?" Hakkai almost chokes on the word. Using it to refer to Goku and Sanzo really does seem so surreal sometimes.

Goku laughs a little at the word choice too. "Yeah…really, really well." He agrees, setting his bowl of rice down and taking a brief eating break to regard Hakkai.

Looking at the healer, who is looking at him with such perfect comprehension and affection, makes Goku blush. Sometimes he wonders if Hakkai can read his very thoughts. If he can, Goku figures there are certainly worse people in the world he would want to know such things about him. Besides, Goku has never cared for secrets.

"Hakkai…I…I think things'll be okay now. I mean…Sanzo can actually be…really nice sometimes. Not _you_-nice, or anything, but…still nice."

"_Me_-nice?" Hakkai questions, thinking the term rather humorous.

"Yeah," Goku replies, shrugging as if the phrase is perfectly understandable, "You're like the nicest guy I know. You cook for us and clean up after us, even though we don't say thank you barely ever. Oh! Thanks for breakfast, Hakkai!" Goku exclaims.

Hakkai breaks into a wider smile, "Now, now, no need for that. But I thank you for the gesture. Really, what would happen to you three if I didn't cook and clean a little? I shudder to think."

No reply is necessary; the reality of such a thing is far too frightening to comment on. Goku is just thankful there were monks around the temple for that stuff when he and Sanzo lived there. Sanzo is tidy by nature, when it suits him, but he can be just as much of a slob as Goku and Gojyo if he feels like it.

So Goku just beams brightly at Hakkai before happily returning to his breakfast. He eats with little ceremony or thought on manners, but for Hakkai it just proves Goku is happy, and that on its own is often all the thanks Hakkai needs for the little things he does. Before getting up to grab a little breakfast for himself, Hakkai reaches to ruffle Goku's hair.

Goku stops eating long enough to enjoy the gesture, and revels in how it isn't quite like how Gojyo or Sanzo do it. Gojyo is always brotherly rough, and Sanzo so tentative. But Hakkai brushes back his hair and plays with the strands with open, sure affection that sees no need to be masked. Goku finds himself blushing again and Hakkai takes it as a sign to stop, not wanting to make his young friend uncomfortable or embarrassed.

When the healer rises and moves past Goku to find himself a plate, he doesn't get very far before he feels very powerful arms wrap tight around his waist and squeeze. Goku is practically falling out of his chair with the effort to hug Hakkai. The action is so amazingly sweet to the healer that he gladly moves his hands to Goku's back as well. He doesn't even mind that Goku's face is pressing into his stomach like a nuzzling cat.

"Goodness…what's this for?" Hakkai asks, smiling down at the monkey attached to him.

Goku squeezes a few moments more before lifting his head to look up. "Just for being Hakkai. That's a good enough reason, right?"

Sometimes Hakkai forgets how innocent Goku can be. Such moments are so very precious and just now, hearing Goku say such thoughtful words is almost enough to make Hakkai tear up. "Aa…if you say so, Goku," the healer says, feeling that perhaps he can believe Goku and that being able to believe he is worth anything just for being himself is a very new experience.

But a welcome one.

The morning returns to normal fairly quickly, Goku back attacking his plate, and Hakkai getting a few plates ready for those who have yet to show up and even taking a plate of his own. They eat contentedly, but before either Gojyo or Sanzo make their first appearance for the morning, there is a knock at the door.

Hakkai rises, saying it is probably the cottage caretaker wondering if they will be staying another night. But when he reaches the door and opens it, all smiles and pleasant politeness, his expression wavers with the surprise of who he finds on the other side.

"Kougaiji!"

tbc...

A/N: Oh, I adore this chapter! I hope you do too and that you tell me all about why. :-) There was a bit of a mess on ffnet when I posted the last chapter, so sorry if some of you missed it until now. But please, stick with me, because things are heading towards the long and inevitable climax. I do believe it will be over 20 chapters when it is done, though. Thanks all who are enjoying this ride with me. Oh, and I am so pleased that Minekura-sama and I are on the same page. I wouldn't want to spoil anything but lets just say I know have proof that youkai Hakkai can indeed speak. Hakkai is different from Goku after all. I love knowing the boys as well as I do. Yay. Boy, I can't wait for more of the Reload manga. Okay, off I go. Don't forget that lonely review button now, I'm going through withdrawls.


	13. The Coming Battle

The Coming Battle

* * *

"Kougaiji-san…this is certainly a surprise." Hakkai speaks pleasantly, holding the door in such a way that from his spot at the kitchen table Goku cannot see anything of their youkai guest. "Does this unexpectedness upon our doorstep mean you have reconsidered our offer?"

Straining to see and hear what is going on, but not wanting to appear too eager, Goku leans back in his chair, teetering on only two legs. He almost growls in frustration because his good friend is still blocking any line of sight to the outside. Goku waits as patiently as possible for a response, but patience isn't a virtue he enjoys.

When Kougaiji does not reply, Hakkai clears his throat to speak again. "Ano…Kougaiji-san, if…if there is any way for us to help each other you can believe me that to do so would be our greatest pleasure. We have no desire to be enemies."

At first, Kougaiji still makes no response, and out of annoyance Goku tilts his chair back onto four legs and pushes away from the table. Hakkai may be the group's designated emissary in Sanzo's absence, but if it really is Kougaiji outside then Goku has a few things to say to him as well.

Before Goku can reach Hakkai at the door, the gruff but very controlled and honorable voice of Kougaiji finally speaks. Goku thinks his rival sounds incredibly strange though, as if something other than the words that leave his mouth wants to leap out of him and become known.

"You," he begins, "are a foolish and headstrong group."

At last, Goku gets up on tiptoe to see over Hakkai's shoulder and takes in the sight of Kougaiji outside. He looks as he always has in recent times, with his long white sleeveless coat and those cool earrings Goku has to resist the urge to play with.

The youkai prince's face, though at first stern, now…seems to soften and Goku feels his heart beating faster by the second. "However…" Kougaiji continues, the smallest flicker of a smile on his lips as he steps to the side to indicate the other three youkai with him, "If you will allow it I _have_ come to accept the offer…as long as I am welcome to bring company."

Yaone, Lirin, and Dokugakuji stand a few feet away from the cottage next to four traveling dragons they have tied to various trees. All three youkai are beaming with barely tamed excitement while Kougaiji alone maintains his full composure.

Before any response can be made from Hakkai on behalf of the ikkou, Goku knocks his friend to the side perhaps a little harsher than he intends and attaches himself to Kougaiji in something quite reminiscent of a hug.

"Yes! I knew you'd say yes, I just knew it!" Goku squeals, arms around Kougaiji's waist unabashedly, completely unaware of the clear discomfort written all over Kougaiji's face.

Hakkai tries to stifle his laugh at first, but since Kougaiji's companions break into degrees of giggles and comments themselves, he figures he can allow a good chuckle on his end too.

Goku eventually realizes how awkward it is for him to be hugging someone who was his enemy only moments before and uncoils his arms while looking up into Kougaiji's bewildered face. "Uhh…sorry 'bout that. I'm trying to work on my impulse control but it's not going so well." Laughing a little himself now, Goku scratches the back of his head, hoping Kougaiji won't be too upset over his outburst.

"I'm used to it, actually," comes the prince's humored voice. "And you should know why. You've had the pleasure of my sister's company several times now from what I hear."

Dropping his anxious arm back down and looking up to find friendly violet eyes—even Sanzo's don't quite know how to look friend like _this_ yet—Goku is soon beaming, all shame forgotten. "Y-Yeah. And now…we'll get a little more of _your_ company too. Of…all of yours?"

Kougaiji's subtle smile remains and he nods, extending a clawed hand to Goku who looks at it with marginally controlled glee. Remembering the way those in the dreamworld dealt with clawed handshakes, Goku reaches for Kougaiji's forearm and discovers that the parody greeting comes to them quite naturally. At the moment, Goku couldn't feel more hopeful for tomorrow.

Once Kougaiji and Goku have released one another and things are more understood between those gathered, Hakkai steps to the side and motions all of those in the yard to come in. Leaving the dragons behind—who now have the company of Hakuryuu as well since the little dragon had been out hunting—the three youkai, their prince, and Goku file inside happily, though Lirin, having had a little more time to think about the words her brother used, has to speak up.

"Hey…what did ya mean by that stuff about me?"

Kougaiji resists comment.

-----

It was not long after the Kougaiji-tachi arrived that Sanzo and Gojyo found their ways downstairs at the call of food and loud conversation. Though at first surprised, the two men were rather quick to accept the new development, Gojyo gladly going to sit at the now crowded kitchen table beside his brother, and Sanzo—though somewhat standoffish, as is his nature—saying he had expected Kougaiji would come to his senses all along.

Now, Lirin and Goku are eagerly eating, a bit more zealously than the others around them, and Hakkai and Yaone—the youkai woman having offered to assist her counterpart—take turns cooking breakfast.

The initial interactions are jubilant but mildly tense. The groups have trouble knowing what to say now that "hand over the sutra" and "shut up and die" have escaped their vocabularies. Goku and Lirin seem the least concerned, Hakkai and Yaone mask any awkwardness with politeness, and the half-brothers dance around actually talking to one another in favor of cheap shots. But it is Sanzo and Kougaiji who, as might be expected, are the quietest, casting one another not entirely trustful glances.

When food has been completely served and the overeaters are finally starting to slow down, all eight members of the two groups are crushed together at the table and they have little choice but to find ways of feeling at ease.

Small talk eventually runs its course and Kougaiji, seemingly impatient now that the formalities and initial discomfort has run its course, speaks to the gathered groups. "I appreciate your hospitality and your…friendship. But we have to discuss when we are going to storm the castle and how." He says, his face suddenly a bit more stern and serious. "It wasn't easy for us to get here. We had hoped to get away undetected but Nii made sure that was impossible."

"Nii?" Sanzo presses, though he knows who the man is. In Sanzo's mind he will always be Ukoku. "He knows you've left and why?"

"Yes." Kougaiji does not hold back in revealing this in the slightest, meeting Sanzo's gaze evenly. "He tried to stop us but we managed to escape him. He will be expecting us so we'll have to be careful how we proceed. I don't care what that man thinks he knows of my castle, I can get us in there right under that madman's nose and I will. There are those who will be loyal to me over him and over my stepmother."

Sanzo is not entirely convinced. Something in Kougaiji's tone is too tight for his liking. "Are you sure about that?" the monk asks, narrowing violets on violet across the table. The others seated with them hold their tongues but sense that the two leaders are not wholly trustful of one another just yet.

There is a brief flicker of discomfort on Kougaiji's face but when he answers he is sure and steady in his words. "You can trust us to get you inside. My men would not betray me. Where I come from we fight for more than just our own sakes."

Sanzo is so quick to snap back a retort that Goku almost misses his chance to intervene, but being a very sensitive monkey in such situations he is up on his feet before a retort can be spoken. "Yikes, too much tension, huh?" he says with a weak grin, hands pressing down on the tabletop. "I think we should just cool it for a while, right? I mean, now that we know everyone's on the same side, we can relax a little and take our time deciding what to do."

"No," Sanzo breaks in, eyes still narrowed and challenging. "We don't have time to waste if Ukoku knows what we're planning."

"My thoughts exactly," Kougaiji agrees.

"But Sanzo…we're not up for running off to the castle _now_." Goku protests.

"Hey, who's Ukoku?" Lirin chimes in.

"Hang on, hang on," says Dokugakuji, "Listen, I think I have to agree with Goku. You look pretty well beat up to me." He adds, looking over Sanzo's bandaged and bruised form.

"I'm fine." Sanzo snarls, having purposely avoided saying anything about his frazzled condition, the wrappings on his left wrist, or how he is still a little unsteady on his feet.

"You're not exactly fine." Gojyo says, siding with his brother.

Sanzo glowers at the kappa but says nothing. He does not want the subject brought up, for more than just his own sake.

Lirin bounces in her seat. "Hey, no one's listening to me. Who's Ukoku?"

"Be quiet." Goku says to her.

"Hey, don't treat me like a kid! We're the same size!"

"I'm still older!"

Hakkai feels the oncoming of a headache.

"Sanzo never listens to me." Gojyo says with a feigned sigh, shaking his head and looking to his brother. "And just last night we had such a nice long chat over the toilet bowl."

Dokugakuji chuckles.

Sanzo sits up straighter, wondering why on earth he decided to be civilized for once and leave his gun upstairs. "Shut up, cockroach," he growls.

"But it was such a nice bonding experience, Sanzo-sama,"

"Lirin, be quiet! What's this about last night?" Goku asks, suddenly jumping in on Gojyo and Sanzo's conversation. "Did something happen?"

Sanzo vows to put the kappa out of his misery before the end of the day.

Kougaiji roles his eyes to the ceiling. "Our mission might very well mean the difference between balance and destruction in all of Shangri La and these idiots are fighting over who nursed whose hangovers."

"It wasn't a fucking hangover," Sanzo defends, turning suddenly on Kougaiji.

"Everyone, please," Yaone pleads, hands pressed tightly together. "We shouldn't fight."

"It's taken you how long to reach Houtou Castle?" Kougaiji asks snidely of Sanzo, "Oh wait, you're not even close to reaching it. Why else would you need to bargain with us? Now I think I understand why. You can't even keep control of yourselves or each other."

"I'd be fine with calling the whole thing off if that's how you feel, you arrogant bastard," Sanzo seethes, pushing back his chair as if he means to stand and ready himself for a fight.

By now, Hakkai is quite sure everyone has devolved to primary students. "Goodness." Hand to his forehead Hakkai stands from his seat, though no one at the table seems to notice since several are now bickering and Yaone is unsuccessfully trying to calm them. Hakkai decides to go for a tried and true method. He places two fingers in his mouth and whistles as loudly as possible. "Much better," he smiles when seven faces turn to gape at him, a few rubbing their offended ears. "Now, if you would please listen, I think it would be best if only one conversation happened at a time. There are many of us, and I realize it is difficult to combine strategies when we have different ways of doing things, but as Kougaiji so kindly put it before, there is a level of friendship here, is there not?"

A few listeners feel obligated to speak against that comment but refrain when Hakkai passes a very quick but very dark look around the table. Even Lirin bites her lip.

"I also agree with Goku. We are in no condition to head for the castle immediately." Hakkai says, careful to chose his words and say 'we' rather than 'Sanzo' which the monk is thankful for but still not very happy about overall. Hakkai recognizes this and meets violet eyes with his own calm emeralds. "Please, Sanzo, I ask that you agree as well. We really should give it at least a few days."

"No," Sanzo says firmly, refusing to be undone. "If you want to wait…fine. Tomorrow then. But no more stalling than that. We can't give Ukoku any extra time. He'll be ready for us as it is."

Suddenly, Kougaiji's head twitches strangely, though Sanzo is the only one to see it. It jerks slightly to the right as if he had meant to shout something but was forced to hold it back. Sanzo meets gazes with the youkai prince and silently asks for an answer, but Kougaiji merely returns his look coldly and turns away.

Confused by this and still distrustful, Sanzo is not paying attention when Hakkai speaks to him again.

"You force me to put it bluntly, Sanzo. You are still not well enough to fight a war, which this very well may be when we reach the castle. One day more is not enough for you to be at full capacity."

Sanzo slowly starts to realize Hakkai is speaking to him and that he should not be happy with what is being said. He forgets Kougaiji for the moment and turns his anger onto Hakkai with a ready glare.

"Sanzo, as I am sure you have noticed…your left arm is not up for combat just now."

Sanzo's anger flares up for Hakkai daring to speak of this in front of so many others.

"You are used to being able to use both hands equally, though I know you favor your right, which is fortunate. Still, you will not have your left to fall back on this time. Not if we leave tomorrow. You need more time to--"

"Shut up."

Only due to the strong darkness in Sanzo's tone, bordering on the darkness Hakkai utilizes so effectively, does Hakkai pause and allow Sanzo to speak on.

"If we could risk caring whether or not I can use both hands equally…hmph…even then you know what my answer would be," the monk says, eyes focused on Hakkai but peripherally including everyone else as well. "We don't have time. You think this will slow me down?" To stress his point Sanzo raises his bandaged wrist, daring anyone to comment on it. "It won't. Not against _him_. I only need one hand to pull a trigger. We leave tomorrow. As soon as everyone is ready. Unless you really want to back out of this deal." Slowly, Sanzo turns to look at Kougaiji, watching the youkai prince closely should anything seem out of sorts.

Kougaiji still appears strangely stiff and tight, as he had when he first came inside and even while there was a smile on his face for so brief a time. But when he speaks, his words seem wholly genuine. "We will not back out. This is the best for all considered, and we know that. If you say we go tomorrow, Sanzo…then we will be ready."

A silence blankets the small kitchen. Goku and Hakkai, both still on their feet, look a little defeated, but neither dissents again. Sanzo will not be swayed this time; they can see that and they know when there is little hope in fighting against the monk's wishes. Gojyo looks a little put out as well, though he had tried to mask his concern initially. It was he who told Hakkai just how much Sanzo was favoring his left wrist. Hakkai had known already, of course, but he had refrained from mentioning to Sanzo just how long it might take to regain full use. Sanzo knows a little more now but will not be deterred by it.

The battle begins tomorrow regardless of who is ready.

A series of nods and agreeing words rustle amongst those at the table and Hakkai and Goku sit back down. Sanzo and Kougaiji pass one another contented nods, but friendship certainly seems a bit more strained now. Hoping to counteract that, Goku makes a point to be much more polite and nice to Lirin as the group begins amiable chatting again.

Soon, Lirin breaks away from talking to Goku, and, reminded of her earlier question, shouts to the table, "Hey, no one ever told me who Ukoku is?"

-----

_I was so close. I almost found the strength to warn him. But…damn you, Nii! Why did you have to do it this way, forcing us to lie, to lead them straight to you? With your powers you could easily have acquired them on your own. What twisted things are you planning for them? For…us…?_

Still seated around the kitchen table, even though Kougaiji is outwardly participating in the conversations as they move from semi-friendly chatter to battle plans, internally he is berating himself. He is too weak to fight against the dark spell Nii cast with his taboo use of magic and machines. The harder he tries to speak out, the harder it is to think as himself. What makes it the most frustrating, is how the things he is able to say are exactly the things he would say if this was going as he originally planned. How is the Sanzo-ikkou ever going to recognize that something is wrong?

He knows that his companions must be suffering the same pains, but even as he looks to them, outwardly they seem just as they should be, as they would be…if this wasn't a trap. Sometimes Nii's cruelty comes about in such simple ways that the depth of just how inhuman the doctor's acts are can be overlooked. Being on the receiving end of one such cruelty, Kougaiji knows just how monstrous the simplest of things can be.

He has to watch his dream play out knowing all the while that it will end in terror.

He cannot enjoy that their plan seems well-derived because although it may have worked otherwise, it is now doomed to failure. And try as he might Kougaiji cannot raise his voice against it. He can only continue to act as he would and pray that somehow the truth is discovered by Sanzo and his party before it is too late.

"I suppose we've covered everything, and to be honest…I'm getting a little sore sitting in this hard chair." Hakkai smiles, looking to each of those with him at the table. "Shall we adjourn then for the time being? I'm sure there are…more pleasant things some of us might discuss in private company."

Gojyo notices how Hakkai passes a very fleeting glance at Yaone. Internally, the kappa can't help smirking, knowing full well what his friend probably has planned and almost feeling sorry for Yaone since, really, she stands no chance against the master manipulator. He doubts anyone else understands the hidden meaning in Hakkai's words, other than perhaps Goku who is positively eating up this opportunity to befriend Kougaiji's group.

Goku's interest in making friends dwindles a little, however, when the boy notices that everyone seems to be getting ready to depart from the kitchen. With everyone gathered together, he knows this is the best opportunity for him to speak up, and as much as it scares him to even suggest what he is about to, he feels he has no choice.

"Wait…don't…don't go yet. I…I wanna ask something."

Several pairs of eyes turn to him in question, and everyone stays in their seats. Lirin tilts her head in question. "Don't look so serious, monkey-boy, it makes you look way too old." She teases.

But Goku is not in the mood for banter.

Sensing a serious issue, Sanzo ignores Lirin as well, his attention focused solely on Goku. "What is it?" he asks, matching gaze with the younger man and forcing Goku to be honest with him by sheer force of silent suggestion. Goku can seldom win against Sanzo looking at him in such a way.

Indeed, Goku falters, but he was planning on seeing this through right from the start. He speaks, "I…I know it may sound crazy, but…I…want…" he closes his eyes tight and lets his words come, spilling them from his lips in a mad rush for fear of how foolish he knows they will sound. "I want to practice with my limiter before we go to the castle. One last time. Please, I…I just want to try. I know I can do it."

He keeps his eyes closed as he lets his words sink in to those around him. The Kougaiji-tachi has been very mildly filled in on recent events. Basically, that Goku has been practicing without his limiter—which Lirin had to be explained the need of, never having heard of nor seen Goku's true form as the others in her group—and that a few days ago things went horribly wrong. What Seiten Taisei appeared to be after was not divulged to them, only that he attacked, went most notably for Sanzo, and was stopped in barely enough time. Kougaiji and Dokugakuji, having seen Seiten Taisei in person, look the most wary of this request, but at first, no one speaks against or for Goku's suggestion.

Goku clenches his eyes tighter. He can feel all other pairs of eyes in the room directly focused on him. It was hard enough learning that Yaone had been told about his rampage form by Dokugakuji, and then to have to sit through an explanation to Lirin. Now, it feels as if their cumulative gaze might take on physical form and devour him.

"Goku."

Goku wills himself not to shake. Sanzo's voice.

"If that's what you want…then that's what we'll do."

Goku's eyes spring open and he finds himself instantly caught by violet. All the anger and smugness about Sanzo is gone now, replaced with simple understated empathy. Only Goku understands just how much Sanzo is supporting him with such a telling though seemingly mild look.

With clear challenge in his expression suddenly, Sanzo looks to the others at the table, daring them to question his decision. "Kougaiji," he says, finally resting his gaze on the youkai prince, "I think together we might be able to create bindings that would hold him. If you're willing." The added phrase is a challenge itself, made obvious by Sanzo's tone.

"I agree that together we might be able to do it," Kougaiji says, "And if it really is something Goku feels is necessary…I don't see why not. We could do it later today if we're not planning to leave until tomorrow."

Dissention rises in Gojyo so strongly he almost shouts out something he would definitely regret later, but he bites his tongue. Goku needs his support, he tells himself, much as he thinks this is absolutely insane. He can't believe the chimp actually wants to try again after what happened, but then again, considering it is very possible Seiten Taisei might be necessary in the final battle, having control over him would be the most desirable thing. If such a thing is actually possible.

Gojyo isn't so sure it is, and he looks to Hakkai to silently transmit this thought. Hakkai looks back at him and very subtly shakes his head, asking that Gojyo keep silent but also being sure not to give away whether or not he feels as Gojyo does. Truthfully, Hakkai is just as surprised as Gojyo that Goku is asking this, but he is more supportive. Often he is the first one to wake and deal with a traumatized Goku after an encounter with Seiten Taisei, and he has no desire to go through such a thing again, but the idea of knowing for certain he would never again have to deal with it is very appealing. A controlled Seiten Taisei would ease all of their minds considerably.

Since no one speaks against it—Lirin and Yaone feeling out of their league anyway and Dokugakuji never fond of speaking against his leader's wishes—Sanzo and Kougaiji regard one another with understanding and turn to Goku.

"We'll be certain this time, Goku, that he won't escape. I promise you that," Sanzo assures the pleased but anxious monkey.

One thing the Kougaiji-tachi has not been privy to is the deepening relationships within the Sanzo-ikkou. Sanzo does not want to share such a thing frivolously, and is upset enough that Gojyo and Hakkai know, and that he knows about them. Therefore, he gives Goku the most loving look he can imagine without it looking too out of the ordinary.

Goku, being Goku, understands completely, and beams in response. "I can do it this time, Sanzo. I know I can. I'm strong. And I'll prove it."

_I would be happy for you, Goku, if you were able to succeed. Maybe your true form will be enough to defeat that man. If not, whatever becomes of us…of…all of us…will seem far less appealing than being killed by you in your berserk state. Believe me. I hope…I hope…whatever happens, that you are strong enough to beat this. For your sake, for the others in your group, and for those in mine._

Kougaiji cannot speak his sentiments but he takes small solace in knowing that he can at least help in one final act of friendship before betraying the Sanzo party to the fate of whatever Nii has planned for them.

-----

"Why do I have to babysit?"

"Heh. Try again, kiddo. We're the ones babysitting." Gojyo says mockingly, reaching to ruffle Goku's hair. Goku, of course, ducks away like a cat not wanting to be pet.

They, and Dokugakuji and Lirin, are in the cottage's living room, a place the Sanzo-ikkou has actually spent little to no time in. While Goku and Lirin sit on the couch feeling exhaustedly bored, the two brothers lean against opposite arms of the couch like gargoyle guardians.

Gojyo winks at his brother. "Hey, bro, what say we ditch the brats and check out the town? Not really fair Hakkai and Yaone get to go out and we're stuck with the rugrats."

"Hey!" Lirin and Goku shout together, each up on the edge of their seats and looking all too ready for a fight. Lirin speaks up again, "You're such a meanie!" she says, "Dokugaku, don't let him be mean to me. I'm not a brat or a rugrat, right?"

Dokugakuji tries not to snicker. "Course not, Lirin. You're just a little younger and smaller than the rest of us. But I know the truth. You pack a mean punch, and I certainly wouldn't want to get on your bad side. Better be careful, Gojyo." He adds to the redhead, "Knowing your luck with women it could be pretty disastrous to piss Lirin off."

A small twitch appears above Gojyo's right eye. "Hey now, talk to me when there's a girl on _your_ arm, huh? When's the last time you got laid?"

Gojyo put forth this question on reflex—he would have used the same retort on most people daring to belittle his womanizing skills—but the moment he sees Dokugakuji's smirk fall he realizes just how stupid his comment was. After all, since the brothers haven't really caught each other up on the last 15 years of their separate lives, how does Gojyo know whether or not Dokugakuji has slept with anyone? And if he hasn't slept with anyone in those 15 years that would make the last person he had sex with…

…their mother.

"We're going to pretend I didn't say anything, okay?"

"Gojyo…"

"Nope. Don't wanna hear it. I didn't say a word."

Dokugakuji sighs deeply.

_Damn it, I know there are so many things we need to talk about, but…not like this. Not when I'm only half myself. I don't care if I can talk about most things the way I would, I…I wanna be able to look you in the eye as me, really me and tell you everything. Tell you why things were the way they were, Gojyo…_

"Can we…plan to go over a few things when this is all said and done," Dokugakuji says softly, his lower voice sounding very strange with such gentle affection in it. "I know now's not the time, but…there's so much…I should explain. Or at least…try and make up for."

Gojyo swallows hard. He had basically accepted that some things would never get explained between him and his brother, and had decided that was just fine with him. Now, Jien—sometimes Gojyo really can't think of him as Dokugakuji—is telling him things might just be made a little clearer between them one day.

And really, that scares Gojyo to death.

"Jien…"

"What are you two talking about?" Lirin presses innocently, completely shredding the moment though having no idea how much she had been forgotten only moments before.

Goku, sitting next to her, holds back from smacking her upside the head. He understands what had been going on, and it needs to go on, errr, happen, the monkey thinks with an internal nod. Gojyo is the least angsty amongst them but with some of the best _reasons_ to angst. The kappa needs a little closure.

And besides, brothers should never have to be enemies, and now that they are enemies no longer, brothers should definitely be allowed to be brothers again.

"Lirin, does Kou ever say there are some things he can't tell you because you're still too young to know them?"

Lirin pouts at Dokugakuji's question. "All the time." She grumbles.

"Well," Dokugakuji continues, "When you get a little older, he'll have no choice but to tell you every last detail about all the things he doesn't want you to know. Gojyo here, he's…he's my little brother, and…he's not so little anymore, right?"

Lirin nods.

"Guess I'm gonna have to give up the big brother gig long enough to tell him some of things he didn't get to know when he was younger."

Though Gojyo isn't entirely sure he wants to know some of things his brother plans to tell him, he is thankful that the opportunity will come. He had to miss out on having a brother for far too long. And both of them know it.

Lirin nods again, and suddenly, her face lights up in glee.

"Sweet, so when I get older Kougaiji _has_ to tell me stuff?"

"Well…don't quote me, but…pretty much."

"Good, then maybe he'll finally tell me why he sometimes says Yaone's name in his sleep."

It is a long time before the three men in the room stop laughing after that.

_Well, I guess things aren't so bad…_

Lirin, for all her charm, understands that there is something amiss and that that awful Nii doctor did something to her, but not nearly as much as the older members of her group, so though her thoughts stray occasionally to why things feel a little funny and why she can't talk about everything she'd like to, she doesn't think too hard on it.

Dokugakuji, on the other hand, knows full well just how sinister Nii's plan must be, and wishes more than anything that he could tell Gojyo. Because as much as he wants to be honest with his brother, he fears the opportunity to talk with Gojyo, to really talk, might never come. His brother, when all is said and done, might be dead. And Dokugakuji can't even sport a frown to show how much frustration he is under.

_You're stronger now than I ever thought you could be, Gojyo. No matter what happens, we'll get our chance. We'll get the chance to know each other all over again. I pray to the gods we do…_

-----

Meanwhile, Hakkai and Yaone have gone to town for the extra supplies they will need now that so many plans have changed. Extra food is only one of the many things to acquire.

It was quite unanimously decided that they be the ones to go since they are the most sensible and since Sanzo and Kougaiji are working on bonds for Goku's limiter practice.

Walking down the street of the village, both Hakkai and Yaone are trying not to think about things to come, but on very different fronts. Hakkai, of course, is most worried about what might happen with Seiten Taisei. But Yaone…

_Lord Kougaiji, it must be tearing you apart what this man is making us do. The Sanzo party is so graciously taking us in and accepting our friendship and we are destined to betray them. Is there nothing we can do? Hakkai-san is such a nice man, all of them are really. Why must things always end with such pain?_

"Yaone-san, are you alright? You seem distracted?"

Yaone snaps to attention, not realizing that her mind had wandered—both the one she is in complete control of and the one that speaks even when she would like to speak something entirely different. She smiles brightly at the kind man regarding her. "Oh, forgive me. I guess my mind is elsewhere. There are so many things to consider lately."

"How true," Hakkai replies, his tone increasingly warm and inviting.

They do not have much more to get in town and their arms are both filled with bags. Hakkai has to do everything within his power to allow Yaone to carry her fair share, though the gentleman in him longs to take each bag from her arms. He has found himself far too often thinking of Yaone as the pregnant wife he encountered in the dreamworld

"Yaone-san…I wonder…do your thoughts stray to the issues at hand, or…more to a…person?" Hakkai asks this question very carefully, and expects the blush that spreads almost instantly across Yaone's nose.

"Ahh…ano…a…person?"

"Yes. I hope it isn't too personal of me to ask, but…I have often wondered if perhaps--"

"Oh, look, aren't those the type of bandages you said you wanted?"

Hakkai smiles in amusement as the woman with him dashes ahead towards an apothecary shop. From a distance he realizes even more now how different she looks wearing her limiter. He has seen her in human form before, of course, but it is strange. It would not be necessary for her to wear the bracelet if it were just their two groups, but since the townspeople—like all townspeople of late—have an instinctive fear of youkai, it was necessary.

Hurrying after her, Hakkai enters the shop and they proceed to pick up the first aide supplies he was hoping to stock up on. Sometimes it feels so futile to buy such supplies when during a battle there is never time to treat a wound more than hurried ki healing, but if they manage to survive the battle at hand, Hakkai is certain the items will be a handy resource.

Once the pair is back out in the sunshine and heading for the cottages again, Hakkai tries once more to approach Yaone on the subject of a 'whom' that she had been thinking about.

"Yaone-san…perhaps I really am being forward now, but…considering the battle we are soon to be heading into, I would like to say that it really would be best not to leave any things unsaid. One never knows what may happen. I will at least be comforted knowing the one I love is aware of my love for him even if things end in the worst of ways."

Yaone is temporarily distracted. "For _him_?" she restates, deeply intrigued now and forgetting that the overall statement Hakkai made had been for and about her.

It is Hakkai's turn to have a blush dance across his nose. "Ah…yes, well…I suppose it really can't hurt to tell you, but…" He looks over at her and smiles broadly, wondering if perhaps she will figure things out on her own.

The look in her eyes makes it seem quite possible that she does. "Oh my. Really?"

Hakkai nods.

"I…I never would have guessed, but…you and Sanzo-san?"

Hakkai blanches. He briefly remembers this had been a slight topic of concern in the dreamworld as well. He wonders how on earth anyone could imagine he has romantic feelings for his dear, emotionally challenged friend. "Wrong companion, Yaone-san, but I appreciate how you do not seem overly concerned that my love is a man."

The blush that graces Yaone rivals Hakkai's recent one quite splendidly. "Goodness. I shouldn't have assumed. It is…Gojyo-san then?"

Beyond relieved that Yaone has not gone on to name Goku first, Hakkai happily nods.

"And no, of course I would never think it strange or wrong that your love is a man. We can't control who we love. And what is love but…_love_, after all?" she giggles lightly, having to shift the bags in her arms. "I suppose I have not had the pleasure of your company outside of battle all that much. Forgive me for guessing so wrong."

"Not at all. Though I will have to pass this on to Gojyo. He will find it hysterical, I can assure you." The pair shares a hearty laugh, but Hakkai has not forgotten the original intent of his statement. "Yaone-san," he starts again, seeing that the cottage is coming rather quickly into view. "Again, I…wouldn't want to push boundaries, but…considering the trials ahead, perhaps…if there is someone you love and wish to tell…perhaps you too should tell them and gain the peace of mind I am so blessed with."

It does not surprise Hakkai at all that Yaone falls silent. He patiently waits for an answer, and will not push too much further should she choose to dismiss his suggestion. However, he really is rather hopeful that she will not dismiss him, because he truly cares for Yaone and would never wish for such a wonderful woman to miss out on the benefits of known, reciprocated love.

Especially not when Hakkai is fairly certain her love feels quite the same in return.

"I…I know you are very right in what you are saying, Hakkai-san, and I am most happy for you for being able to admit and enjoy your love for Gojyo-san. You both deserve to be happy. But I…I…"

_How can I wish for such a thing? Kougaiji-sama…I…owe you everything and I am yours, until the end of my life. But to love you…would ask so much of you. What right do I have to want that…?_

"I…don't know if now is really the time to entertain such things," Yaone finishes.

Hakkai sighs, stopping just in front of the cottage door, but does not go in. He stares forward, Yaone at his side, and does not look at her. "Yaone," he says, almost cold in his seriousness, "Now is the _only_ time. And time is such a fleeting, precious thing. The only time any of us may have to say one last time…or perhaps for the first time…that we love the one we love is now upon us. Do you honestly think your love would be scorned even if it were not returned?"

"Hakkai-san…"

"It would not hurt him. But keeping it from him may very well hurt you both."

_Don't say these things. Not when I cannot even be my true self to tell him. I…oh, how I long to tell him, even if it is so selfish of me…_

"I ask only that you consider it, of course," Hakkai says, turning suddenly to offer a very brilliant smile that does not seem like a smile at all. "The decision is always yours. I hope, at the very least, that I have given you something to consider. For you are a very…wonderful woman. And wonderful women deserve happiness in love."

A moment later Yaone is left standing alone on the doorstep, wondering if she can get her feet to move forward. When she finally does, she is still unsure whether or not she would even want to bring such dangerous things up to Kougaiji when circumstances are as they are. She will have to think on it more before knowing what to do.

-----

"Finally, geez," Gojyo says when Hakkai and Yaone—now without her limiter—enter the living room, having deposited their purchases in the kitchen. "I was starting to worry. Yaone-chan's quite the catch and just your type, huh? I was afraid you'd run away together on me."

Hakkai smiles. Leave it to Gojyo to put forth the same truth Hakkai recently told Yaone but in such an open, casual, and untimely way. Hakkai is very thankful when Sanzo and Kougaiji enter. Had they not he would have been forced to explain Gojyo's meaning to a very quizzical looking Lirin.

Dokugakuji looks a little scandalized himself, but Hakkai figures that part of the telling is purely up to Gojyo.

Deciding to forget such things for now, Hakkai gladly turns to the monk and youkai prince as they enter, both looking a little worn but very determined. Goku is watching the entering pair with the most deliberate focus, of course, and can barely sit still in anticipation.

"We think we have things figured out," Kougaiji speaks first, "We finally decided on combining spells that bind humans with spells for binding demons."

"Normally they would contradict one another," Sanzo adds, "But under the circumstances…Goku…you're enough of a contradiction in yourself for it to work. Are you ready?"

A miniscule smile touches Goku's lips. He thinks he doesn't mind being a contradiction if he can just find some way to make his two halves be a little nicer to each other. Judging by the supportive looks from those around him and especially considering the look of complete trust coming from Sanzo, Goku honestly feels he could take his limiter off right now and still be himself.

Well, maybe not quite to that extent.

"I'm ready, Sanzo," Goku says, standing on steady legs from the couch. "This time…nothing's going to keep me from beating him."

tbc...

A/N: Perhaps not quite what you expected? Haha, Nii sure is a twisted bastard, ain't he? Wouldn't it be the worst torture, making you act like everything you want is happening while inside you know it isn't going to work? We'll see how things pan out. As for final limiter practice, Goku may not be as successful as he is hoping. Thanks all for still being out there. Some people have been sick, some out of town, some forced to use school comps, and some just busy busy busy. But still you read when you can and review when you can and that in itself is enough for me. Even if I got one review I'd keep going, because this story means so much to me. Don't take that to mean I don't want your reviews, though. ;-P Alrighty then, off I go to sleep. Sorry if I missed anything since I'm so busy myself, but I'm pretty happy with this part. Let me know.

Crim


	14. So Much to Overcome

So Much to Overcome

* * *

At this point Goku is experiencing the worst déjà vu. Once again he is securely tied—behind the cottage between two large trees where anyone approaching from the village will not be able to see—with many spells and tight bindings in place to ensure he doesn't escape once his true form is released. His only wish is that the déjà vu does not continue any further than this feeling of bound helplessness. He wants to recover himself and prove he can be strong.

Sanzo deserves at least that much for having to tie Goku up yet again, though at least there is also Kougaiji doing nearly as many bindings as Sanzo. Goku would take some comfort in the combined effort, but with more than Hakkai and Gojyo in the background watching—Dokugakuji, Yaone, and even Lirin present should anything go wrong—Goku is feeling a little put on display. And oh, does he not want to disappoint his audience.

"Sanzo…you're sure these'll hold, right?"

It is Kougaiji who answers, checking the bonds on Goku's right arm a final time and looking to Goku confidently. "There is no reason they shouldn't." he says. "We considered every possible angle and judging by your…nature…this kind of combination of spells should do the trick."

Goku looks to Sanzo, hoping to hear a following commentary from the monk. "I'm hearing a lot of 'shoulds.' Is this really a good idea?"

"You're the one who wanted this," Sanzo reminds the monkey, giving a final tug to the bonds on Goku's left arm. He holds Goku's gaze but waits until Kougaiji has turned and headed back to the others before leaning closer and saying, "If you want to chicken out, go ahead. I'll cut you lose right now." Sanzo's eyes flash with a reflection of the sun, making his violets as golden as his hair, if only for a moment. "I don't think that's what you want though. Is it? Do you want to give up when you've come this far? When we're so close?"

Close to the end, Goku thinks, but not close to winning. Not close to beating this. Deep down Goku knows this is more of a foolish dream than a real possibility, but he still wants to try. Because they _have_ come far and they deserve to have something to show for it.

Seeing more than challenge or terse prodding in Sanzo's expression, seeing something akin to hope and true affection, Goku wants nothing more than to live up to everything Sanzo has ever wanted of him.

"I can do it, Sanzo."

"Then _do_ it." Sanzo turns back swiftly to look at the many gathered behind him, spread out for a good area of coverage should Seiten Taisei manage to break free. Several of the onlookers seem anxious if not outright frightened, but this isn't for any of them, Sanzo reasons, this is for Goku. And though he admits it only as a passing thought, this is for him too.

He turns back to Goku and reaches for the shining coronet. The length of time it takes his arm to get there seems impossibly long and Sanzo has a series of flashes strike his conscious mind, varied images and ghost pains from past encounters. He can acutely recall every time Seiten Taisei has been before him, recall every smirk from the beast, every tease. Most memorably, he can remember how it had felt to be so powerless when Seiten Taisei pinned him to the ground with anything but honorable intentions.

He cannot afford to think of the past just now, though, and he advances the last remaining inches, grips the diadem and lifts it like the most inconsequential of headbands.

Goku's eyes, at first remaining wide and determined and so very much _Goku_…tightly close as the boy screams. When they open again, Goku is no longer present. The beast is there now, and he is not happy.

"Shit." Gojyo hisses, readying his weapon at the sight of Seiten Taisei madly lunging from his bonds in an attempt to reach Sanzo. There is such desperation in the creature this time it is truly frightening. Gojyo looks to Hakkai next to him and quietly says, "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he remembers the things that happen when he's free. Coz…maybe I'm crazy, but…that sure looks like a monkey scorned to me."

"I think I have to agree," Hakkai replies, hands at the ready should the need for a chi blast arise. He does not look at Gojyo, eyes trained on the enraged beast between the trees and at Sanzo just in front of it. "I suppose he must be feeling betrayed by his…mate." Hakkai wrinkles his nose at the awkward wording, though it is actually quite fitting. "If those bonds don't hold…"

Suddenly, the pair remembers that they are not the only ones watching, and also that the others with them are in clear hearing distance. Currently, the three youkai with Gojyo and Hakkai are looking rather shocked at what they have just overheard.

Hakkai sports a very subtle blush. "Ano…perhaps we should talk less and pay attention more."

"Yeah." Gojyo agrees.

Deeply curious, Yaone cannot help herself. "So…Sanzo-san and Goku as well?" she asks, sporting her own minor blush.

Gojyo gives a short laugh, but Hakkai, obligated by his gentlemanly nature, is forced to nod in affirmation.

While Lirin maintains a look of deep confusion, Yaone smiles and nods in return. It is Dokugakuji and Kougaiji who simultaneously express their shock.

"_As well_?" the two youkai say together, instantly shameful of their blatant question and how forceful it left them. They pass each other equally uncomfortable looks and have a sudden need to avoid meeting gazes with anyone from the Sanzo-ikkou. Suspicions aside, neither was really prepared to hear such confessions.

Gojyo frowns, a surge of fury rising in him for how Kougaiji and his own brother have reacted, both very flush now and looking anywhere but at Gojyo and Hakkai. Gojyo had assumed a general nonchalance about the whole thing would make it easier, but now that the cat is out of the bag it doesn't seem to be going over as _easily_ as he thought it would.

Before Gojyo can comment, however, there is a very loud and angry cry from Seiten Taisei. The onlookers remember where their attention is supposed to be and snap their heads towards the trees again. Sanzo is still positioned just in front of the beast, but Seiten Taisei is far from calming, looking wilder than ever in his attempts to reach the priest.

"It's dangerous for us to stay so far back." Kougaiji says, his voice near a growl in his frustration at wanting to take a more active role. The prince does not take any steps forward but there is clear desire to do so, his legs practically twitching with an urge to move, to act.

Shaking his head, Hakkai turns to the youkai redhead and is pleased when Kougaiji does not shy away from making eye contact now. "Sanzo asked for us to remain further back for a reason." Hakkai says. "He wants to do this by his own power. Or rather to aide Goku in doing it. I think it would be best to listen to him and give him the chance to do all he can before we intervene. After all, the bonds do appear to be holding and Seiten Taisei is certainly giving his all to break them."

This observation could not be more true. Seiten Taisei's struggling is reckless and savage. He means to get away, to break out and lunge straight for his great tormentor—Sanzo—but the bonds, though strained, are keeping him in place. The onlookers silently agree to keep quiet for now and address other issues later.

Up by the trees, a foot from Seiten Taisei's most accessible reach, Sanzo stands very still. He has no plans to reach for his gun or any other weapon. The sutra is not on him, the monk wearing only a pair of jeans and a simple black shirt he borrowed from Hakkai. He is purely casual, standing before Seiten Taisei with only the Sanzo mark on his forehead as symbol of his status and power. This is about more than physical or metaphysical strength, after all. Finally, Sanzo realizes that it isn't about strength at all.

Slowly, the monk's stern expression crumbles, because the harder he looks—silent—into Seiten Taisei's face the more he thinks he can see parts of Goku looking out through those slit eyes. Oh, they are dulled and trapped and so very angry, but they _are_ parts of Goku. Seiten Taisei _is_ Goku. Sanzo has believed for so long in their separateness but perhaps that has been his downfall all along.

Seiten Taisei's struggling lessens as he begins to realize his attempts are in vain. Instead, he allows himself to hang limp and stares hard at Sanzo, this golden being with violet eyes and pale skin. He remembers well what took place last time. This being that should have submitted to him would not and forced him to lash out. He would not have killed the being, for he finds it very beautiful and always has, but it is easy to become angered by it. By…Konzen. Yes. _Konzen_. Seiten Taisei growls the name, tasting copper on his tongue as it leaves him. Always blood. Always anger. Always _Konzen_.

Sanzo shakes his head. "Wrong guy, monkey. I wish you remembered _me_ for once."

Another growl escapes Seiten Taisei's lips. Why must Konzen say such things? He doesn't understand why Konzen is so changed. There are so many things that seem wrong, different. But Konzen…there is always Konzen. He growls the name again.

"No." Sanzo says, and though part of him may long for anger in his own voice, he keeps it steady. This time things have to be different. "I'm Sanzo. You know I'm Sanzo. Somewhere in that monkey brain of yours you know me, and you know that whoever Konzen was…I'm Sanzo _now_. Okay? Try to remember…Goku." Sanzo adds Goku's name as a softly spoken afterthought.

It does not anger Seiten Taisei to hear the name as Sanzo imagined, but the creature does indeed look pacified if not thoroughly baffled.

"So…do you really want to hurt me?" Sanzo asks.

Seiten Taisei gives an affirming grunt. So much anger. Anger at Konzen.

"Would it matter if I asked forgiveness?"

Golden eyes narrow. Forgiveness? He isn't sure he understands.

Sanzo takes a small step closer to the bound creature. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted." He says, his voice even and genuine, kind enough that he is glad he asked the others to stay back. But his own shields and masks cannot interfere this time. For Goku's sake he must remember that. "I'm sorry for whatever it is I've done that has you so angry with me. With this Konzen." He continues. "I'm sorry you feel you have to hurt others. I'm sorry for how sorry you are when the attacks stop and the only one hurting is _you_. I'm sorry it has to be this way, Goku."

Goku. There is that name again. Seiten Taisei tilts his head. This golden being, this Konzen…no…Sanzo, he's…something is so familiar about all of it. The more he tries to capture what seems familiar, though, the more his head starts to pound. He doesn't like this pain. This pain is persistent and throbbing. But he wants to remember. Why can't he…remember?

"Goku…" Sanzo says, very softly now. He is close enough to Seiten Taisei to whisper, their faces so near to one another Sanzo imagines his companions behind him are on high alert should the beast try and bite off a chunk of his face. Part of Sanzo fears just such a development, but for now he has Seiten Taisei's attention, and he is going to keep it for as long as he can. "Goku…you understood. You always understood but I wouldn't listen to you. This part of you and the part I know, you _are_ both. You _are_ the same person. I don't know why you're split or why this half is so angry and so bent on destruction. I don't know why…or how…any part of you could be so angry that you enjoy hurting others, because the other part…he…_you_…you're kinder than I…could ever deserve."

Sanzo dares to lean even closer. He knows what a great risk he is taking but finally he thinks he understands what he should have been doing all along. Something his dreamworld self knew instinctively.

"I hate that when you're like this you don't understand what you're doing." Sanzo whispers, bending closer to Seiten Taisei's ear and brushing his cheek against the very warm cheek of the beast. He hears a low growl start in Seiten Taisei's throat but the creature does not act. "I hate…that you allow yourself to rampage the way you do only to hate yourself later. I hate that whatever it is you remember of me…you're not remembering _me_. But for all the things I hate…" He trails, closing his eyes. Very gently he rubs his face against Seiten Taisei's again and this time…there is no growl. "For all the things I hate, Goku…I still…love you. Even like this."

Seiten Taisei's eyes widen. He is stunned, too stunned to move when Sanzo pulls away and looks at him to gauge the creature's reaction. These words, the name the golden being keeps using, it is familiar, he is certain of it. But why? Why does it matter? Why does hearing such words spread a warmth throughout his chest that is greater than the thrill of any hunt or attack? He wishes he could understand, he wants to, but the throbbing in his head is as insistent as ever. It will not tell him what he wishes to know.

He wonders if this…Sanzo…_can_.

"San--"

There is a noise like feet shuffling and Seiten Taisei lifts his head to stare past Sanzo. He remembers now. He remembers these _others_. Often have there been others, hoping to stop him, to entrap him. Has Sanzo brought these others along to trick him? That thought becomes prominent in his mind and he turns back to Sanzo with a fierce gaze and an angry growl.

It is a trick. Somehow it must be. Konzen. What of Konzen? What became of Konzen? So much is muddled in Seiten Taisei's mind he becomes angrier still and would lunge at Sanzo again if the man weren't looking at him with something close to…pity.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Sanzo says, eyes filled with sadness and defeat. "You know them too, you just don't remember. I haven't tricked you. I'm not out to hurt you in any way. I just want you to _be_ you. Because that's what you want."

_And because I'll never survive it if I have to kill you._

"Please, Goku…"

But Seiten Taisei does not understand. He growls again and strains at his bonds, not enough to get in Sanzo's face but enough to show how upset he is at being bound, at being caged, at being so hopelessly confused.

Sanzo sighs, deeply. He does not want to face those behind him. But even more…he does not want to have to face Goku when the boy wakes and discovers they have once again failed. "I'm sorry, Goku. You're just not ready."

_And maybe you never will be_.

Seiten Taisei stops growling when Sanzo moves to replace the coronet. But he is not concerned with the diadem itself. What he is most curious over and what had at first caused a resurgence of anger…is how he can hear this golden creature's thoughts like words said aloud, though the monk did not speak them.

And then Seiten Taisei is falling fast asleep with a rush of lost memories and comprehensions flying past him and all becomes darkness.

-----

Knees pulled tight to his chest, attention on the window leading outside and head bent with damp eyes, Goku sits alone in his and Sanzo's room. When he awoke he was relieved beyond belief that everyone seemed perfectly all right but he knew right away things didn't go as he hoped. If they had he would remember more, not just the anger and confusion he had felt. Details always evade him, leaving behind only emotions to fuel his curiosity. He can still remember having the urge to kill his own friends that first time because it had been such a shock to realize he would have happily killed Gojyo, Hakkai, or even Sanzo.

Goku is thankful it did not come to that this time and that his bindings held, but he had been hoping for so much more. He had turned away from the others' encouragement, and the worst of all was how Sanzo wouldn't even look at him. Goku couldn't escape up to the bedroom fast enough.

He isn't entirely surprised when after a good half hour of sulking there is finally a knock on his door. Really, Hakkai is overdue, Goku thinks with a somber smile. But when the figure enters, moves across the room, and sits next to him, he is pleasantly surprised to find it is not Hakkai…but Kougaiji.

The youkai prince says nothing at first, merely sitting, staring at the window Goku had been staring at, as if Goku's presence in the room is of little consequence. When he finally does speak, he keeps his gaze on the world outside. "And here I thought you were strong," Kougaiji says.

Much as he feels there is more than face value to Kougaiji's words, Goku is still hurt. He puts his head back on his knees.

"Goku…Do you remember the first time we fought?" the redhead asks, still facing forward.

Goku huffs a little. Of course he remembers. "You…kicked my ass." He admits.

Given full leave to laugh, mock, or boast at this point, Kougaiji chooses instead to speak on in a completely passive tone. "I won. We barely had any chance to truly fight, but still, I was clearly better. The next time we met though…" At last, Kougaiji looks down at Goku, eyes and head turned to give Goku his full attention. "After that first time there was never a question over who was stronger. In the end you always found a way to beat me."

"That's not true!" Goku protests, lifting his head from his knees and sitting up a little straighter with the force of his indignation. "It was a draw most times. We never really beat each other at all. That time I had my limiter off didn't count."

A small smile cracks Kougaiji's stiff expression. "Goku…you _are_ strong. Form doesn't matter. Seiten Taisei or just Goku, you are strong. So you failed today where you hoped to conquer, that doesn't mean the cause is lost and it doesn't mean you should sit up here feeling sorry for yourself. Only the weak do that."

"But--"

Kougaiji's expression hardens and Goku closes his mouth tight in reflex. "No," the youkai says, "I don't want to hear any excuses. We are only beat when we allow ourselves to be beaten."

_And I will not be beaten. Not by that man. Before this ends I will find a way to regain myself, and if I don't I will do all I can to undo whatever cruelty he plans. The trust and friendship you want, Goku, that…I want too…it won't be thrown away. I have to be strong as well, and I will be. But where I have failed, you will succeed. Nii won't be able to stand up to you, Goku. I know it._

Though Kougaiji cannot speak these last words, his eyes do their best to offer them to Goku in silence. When dissention rises in Goku, Kougaiji's constant stare banishes it. When Goku almost opens his mouth to curse himself again, Kougaiji's faith in him quiets the words before they can be uttered.

As he has so often found with Sanzo, Goku sees how much can be spoken in silences and how much can be gained by listening to the quiet.

Both Goku and Kougaiji are so caught by one another's stares they almost miss the knock, knock, knock on the still open door as Sanzo steps across the threshold. They turn towards the door at the same time, and while Kougaiji manages to keep a straight face, Goku bursts out laughing at the sight before them. Sanzo, arms tightly across his chest, is scowling and with good reason. Atop his shoulders sits a very content looking Lirin.

"If you two are through, could one of you please take the time to remove this offending brat from my shoulders?"

Grumbling with brotherly obligation, Kougaiji rises and looks at Lirin critically. "Lirin…"

"I'm just making friends," the girl defends quickly, wrapping her arms around Sanzo's head as if she has just found the most marvelous doll to tote about. "We're friends now so we should be nice, right?"

"Lirin…"

"Quit trying to steal my boyfriend." Goku finishes, rising from the bed at last and wearing a very large and knowing smile.

Little does he realize the knowledge of the Sanzo-ikkou's new sleeping arrangements has already reached Kougaiji and his group. Of course it still results in a fiery look from Sanzo, who earlier gave Gojyo quite the reprimand with the fan for having let the information slip. Hakkai somehow managed to escape a similar punishment.

Lirin giggles at Goku's use of the word 'boyfriend' but hops off Sanzo's shoulders as asked. She tries to act offended but is so amused by the idea of Sanzo and Goku as boyfriends—Gojyo and Hakkai's slip earlier hadn't been nearly blatant enough for her to understand—she laughs herself silly and has to be dragged from the room by Kougaiji. As for the prince, he has come to accept the development and just asks that he not have to witness anything too obvious. The idea of Sanzo and Goku kissing or something—or Gojyo and Hakkai for that matter—is just too weird for him to handle just yet.

Dokugakuji is another story.

Left alone, Sanzo holds his place in the doorway, glad to be free of Lirin but also anxious since this is the first time he has been alone with Goku since the limiter practice. Sanzo still feels that somehow he has let Goku down, and damn it if feeling that way doesn't really piss him off.

"Goku…"

"I know. I'm being stupid and I should just suck it up and move on." Goku rambles, smile fading and head suddenly bent again as he stares down at his feet rather than his lover. "I'm sorry I'm such a pain and that I'm up here being so…weak, but…but it just makes me so mad that I…" Goku closes his eyes and says very softly, "…that I let you down again."

At this point Sanzo wonders if he and Goku have a direct channel between their brains. Sometimes their connection really is ridiculous. "We're both idiots. I've come to accept that fact." Sanzo moves quickly to stand in front of Goku and lifts the monkey's chin. Goku keeps his eyes closed but Sanzo speaks on anyway. "You didn't let me down. And…since I know you'll tell me the same if I try to say otherwise…I didn't let you down either. It just…happened. Or didn't happen. And if there's nothing we can do about it…"

"Yeah…" Goku nods.

"Goku."

Slowly, Goku opens his eyes. He knows not to mess with this particular tone of Sanzo's. Since his chin has been lifted, Goku meets violet the moment his eyes are open and they look strangely young and very, very lost. "Sanzo…?" Goku says, concerned. But then, he thinks he understands why Sanzo looks so…scared. "Sanzo, if…if something happened and I ended up as _him_…what…what would you do?"

How many times has Goku asked Sanzo this question? Neither would really like to think about it. It shouldn't have to be asked. They wish it never had to be asked again. But it does.

And Sanzo has the same answer he has always had, and always will have.

"I'd kill you."

The words are the same and spoken without wavering, but the tone, the expression on Sanzo's face as they leave his lips is so heartbreaking Goku is afraid he might weep. Sanzo has always been able to say it looking so stern, so serious. Only now does the future scream so much of the possibility of the worst outcome actually coming to light. And what scares Goku most…is leaving Sanzo behind.

Goku doesn't say anything, and Sanzo cannot think of anything more to say on his end either. When Goku leans forward, Sanzo meets him with such a surge of desperation it is a wonder he doesn't knock them both to the floor. They kiss for a long time, feeding off each other's desperate, frightened love.

The final insult to injury is that when they break apart they realize their kiss felt far too much like a goodbye.

-----

"Well, I got the neighboring cottage setup for our new friends. Yaone-san went with me, so as far as the owner knows it is just another group of perfectly tame humans." Hakkai's smile is its usually bright and blinding self, the healer slipping in to his and Gojyo's room with all intention of getting to bed. Tomorrow is a big day after all.

"_Another_ group of tame humans, huh?" Gojyo echoes, lounging back on their bed, sans shirt, headband, and shoes and socks.

He watches Hakkai cross the room and open the window. The healer looks down to ground level a moment and a second later Gojyo understands why. Hakuryuu, who had been lazing about with the other dragons, flies up and in through the window. Hakkai closes it behind him.

"What's with the parrot?" Gojyo asks, following Hakuryuu's flight pattern until the dragon lands ever so gently next to him on the bed and looks as if he means to make himself comfortable. "Hey…does this look like _your_ bed to you?" he asks the small creature.

Hakuryuu chirps in clear affirmation.

Hakkai, changing into his bedclothes now, laughs good-naturedly, but Gojyo doesn't find it all that funny. "Hakkai, what'd you let him up here for? At least make him a bed out of your sash or somethin'. He's getting way too comfy over here."

"Kyu!"

"Shut up, you."

"Now, Gojyo…" Hakkai says, shifting into animal-protector-sensei mode. He has successfully changed his pants and has his shirt half over his head. He lifts it off and lays it carefully down by the rest of his clothes but doesn't bother reaching for his nightshirt. "Hakuryuu is more partial to the cold than Kougaiji's dragons. He is only a little thing, you know. I couldn't very well leave him to the elements." Hakkai heads for the bed, dressed much like Gojyo now, and sits on the edge. He pets his dragon rather than his kappa which causes Gojyo to grumble indignantly.

"Hey…me or the parrot. You can't sleep with both."

"Can't I?" Hakkai's smirk really is quite aggravating from Gojyo's perspective.

"Somehow I don't think he'll appreciate what I plan to do with you before bedtime." Gojyo explains.

Hakkai's expression doesn't even waver. "Oh? And what do you plan to do to--"

Gojyo sits up, grabs Hakkai by the back of the neck and kisses him harshly, cutting off the healer's words. Hakuryuu, between them on the bed and quite upset over this, squawks and ruffles his wings.

Within their kiss, Hakkai moves a hand to gently stroke Hakuryuu's spine, hoping to pacify his pet. It seems to work but when they pull from the kiss Gojyo once again realizes the dragon is getting stroked instead of him.

"He's gotta go."

"Well…I suppose there is that whole other bed."

"Kyu?"

"Get moving, small-fry." Gojyo tells the dragon, who despite being very offended at such a sendoff, looks at Hakkai, seems to think better of protesting, and flutters off to make himself comfortable on the unused bed. "Now…where were we?" Gojyo asks with a grin, turning back to reach for Hakkai once more.

They kiss slowly and happily, trying not to think that this might be their last chance to be together intimately. At the moment they would much rather praise that they have gotten passed the stages of lingering butterflies and can be intimate at all.

Before pushing Hakkai down onto the sheets, Gojyo has a fleeting thought of his brother and how the older youkai had reacted when he calmly explained the finer points of his and Hakkai's relationship. It had been while Goku was still unconscious, at the first opportunity he could get his brother alone.

"I take it you can already guess what I'm gonna tell ya, bro." he had said.

Dokugakuji nodded, only slightly uncomfortable with the whole thing. "Can't deny I'm a bit surprised. What's all this I've heard about you being such a womanizer?"

"Oh, it's all true." Gojyo said with a haughty grin, "But Hakkai and I…what we got…it's…something more than a good roll in the hay. It's a long story how it happened like this, but…I really love him. And I hope you don't have a problem with that."

Dokugakuji said that he of course had no problem with Gojyo loving anyone, and then promptly asked to hear the whole long story of how things played out. Gojyo decided to leave the dreamworld out of his explanation and just told the tale more generally, but Dokugakuji got the point and by the end was nodding his head to the story.

He didn't mind at all that Gojyo had found love with a man, "But that doesn't mean I'll get used to it any time soon."

Now, in the moment, languidly kissing Hakkai, Gojyo doesn't think he minds that things are strange or even different, as long as he and Hakkai can stay like this.

"Gojyo…?"

Hakkai is concerned since Gojyo has slowed and is staring hard at him now like the healer might poof and be suddenly gone. Gojyo decides that rather than ease Hakkai's worries with words, he would much rather act.

Really, Hakkai doesn't mind at all.

-----

_You won't win, you bastard. If it costs me my life, I won't let you get away with this._

At the other cottage, further into the night now and very dark, Kougaiji sits at the window of the group's shared bedroom. This remaining cottage is not as big as the Sanzo-ikkou's, but Kougaiji and his companions don't mind having to share. The girls are curled together on one bed with Dokugakuji on another. Kougaiji had refused the second bed, saying he probably wouldn't sleep anyway, and though Dokugakuji had offered to share it, Kougaiji was too distracted to really listen.

The others are asleep now, but as he expected, Kougaiji cannot follow suit. There is too much at stake in the hours ahead. He has so little time to think of a plan, to try and come up with some way to let the Sanzo-ikkou know the truth before it is too late. But hard as he tries to think of something, anything, nothing seems to be coming to him. He feels so weak, so helpless, and if it is the last thing he does he longs to wrap his clawed fingers around Nii's throat and squeeze the life out of that man for making him feel this way and do these awful things.

In his anger he scratches his claws against the window, finding it is the only release he can imagine that won't make enough noise to wake his companions.

"Kougaiji-sama…?"

Yaone's whisper startles Kougaiji. He had thought he was being quiet, but perhaps not quiet enough. He turns from the window to see that she is standing not far from him, her long nightgown gently flowing and her lavender hair free from its usual style to hang about her shoulders. "Yaone…" Kougaiji breathes, surprised to find her awake, at how she has snuck up on him, and…at how lovely she looks when presented before him so simply.

"Are you…all right, Lord Kougaiji?" Yaone asks, taking the smallest few steps closer to him and expressing her concern with the only words she can.

_I wish I could say more, Kougaiji-sama, but Nii…the spell…oh, I hope you understand how much I worry over these things as well. We are all pained but what he is making us do._

Kougaiji turns away from Yaone to once more look out the window. From here he can see the Sanzo-ikkou's cottage. His new friends will not understand what happens tomorrow. They will think themselves betrayed and there may be nothing Kougaiji or his fellows can do about it.

"You know I'm not. You know why." Kougaiji says, clenching his hands into tight fists. "If only I could…but…I can't even…even…" he cringes at the effort to say his true thoughts, to speak of the deeds they will be forced to do, but the spell prevents it. In his frustration it would be understandable if Kougaiji did not at first feel Yaone's hand gently touch his shoulder, but he feels it the moment it is there and turns to look at her.

She is so close now, lit by the moonlight with the softest of shadows over her face. She does not speak again, but her expression says more than enough. Kougaiji lifts a hand to cover the one on his shoulder. He holds Yaone's gaze a little longer than he thinks he should, but when he looks away again and turns back to the window, he is not at all upset that she remains with him.

All they can do is wait for morning and hope that the worst can be overcome.

tbc...

A/N: And tomorrow begins the downward spiral. Hahahaha. Well, I had to post since I'll be gone all weekend, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If Sanzo seemed at all OOC, he should have. He WAS acting out of character, which is why he had the others stay back. He figured it was the only way to reach Seiten Taisei. He tried to be more himself when he and Goku were alone later, but he just couldn't do it quite as easily as he should have. Things are getting pretty close to scary for all of them. You'll get to see just how scary things get soon. :-) Glad you're all still with me and so honest and wonderful in your reviews. Keep being that way so I can keep keeping things...err...good. ;-) Love you! Be back with the next chapter soon.

Crim


	15. Obligatory Sex Chapter

Obligatory Sex Chapter

* * *

It has not gone unnoticed by anyone in the Sanzo-ikkou that this may indeed be their last night alive. They have full confidence in their abilities but there is always that chance, just as they understood when facing Homura and the night before Gojyo and Hakkai spent their time drinking in each other's company and Sanzo and Goku watched the stars.

Things have progressed a little further than drinking and stargazing for the two pairs, and Gojyo and Hakkai are eager to fulfill lingering desires before getting a good night's rest.

Pinning Hakkai to the mattress, legs tangled and hands interlocked, Gojyo kisses his partner with an urgency he never knew was in him. Yesterday in the kitchen was certainly passionate and exciting but now they have breached the initial stage of butterflies and first times. Tonight they can take all the time they desire and learn every nuance and curve of one another's bodies.

Gojyo pulls away and lifts up, perusing the pale skin and toned muscles of his…lover. He almost giggles. Hakkai is his _lover_. They had _sex_. More than likely they are about to have it again and it doesn't feel weird at all. It doesn't feel wrong or awkward. But…shouldn't it? At least a little? Try as he might, Gojyo cannot come up with any reason to feel his new intimacy with Hakkai is in any way out of place or strange. It feels familiar. Comfortable. Right.

"How long have I loved you…?" he says in a quiet breath to himself. Hakkai catches only the barest hint of the phrase and looks up at Gojyo questioningly. Gojyo shakes his head, squeezing the beautiful hands in his grasp. "Nothing, babe. Just…thinking out loud. You know…I must have had this damn crush on you since the first time I saw those eyes…" Gojyo leans down and gently kisses Hakkai's left eye, meeting the soft eyelid as Hakkai instinctively closes it.

Hakkai shivers, feeling chilly even with Gojyo's body covering so much of his own. It is a thrilling chill that reaches right down into his bones. When Gojyo pulls back to look down at him, Hakkai shivers again. "Gojyo…"

"Yep…since you first looked up at me in the dark. Had to be the prettiest eyes I've ever seen." Gojyo grins wide, pulling one of his hands out of Hakkai's grip so he can brush the longer bangs away from Hakkai's duller, right eye. The healer has already removed his monocle for sleep. Gojyo studies this eye—the artificial one—and though it is slightly dimmer it never looks out of place. "You don't have the same eyes to look at me…but you still look at me the same. Well…maybe not exactly the same, huh?"

A quick laugh escapes Hakkai at Gojyo's teasing. He too feels supremely comfortable even with Gojyo's heavier weight atop him. "Gojyo…I…"

"Hey, you don't have to say anything." Gojyo cuts in. "I know you've been hung up on…Kanan…for…forever, and…I don't need to hear that you loved me from the start too. I'm not trying to compete here. I know I can't ever replace her. I don't want to. First loves are…first loves are real special. I'd never want to take that away from you."

"Gojyo…" Hakkai almost scolds himself for being able to say so little. He can read between the lines. He is _Gojyo's_ first love, but Gojyo cannot be that for him.

Hakkai closes his mouth a moment, trying to think better of what he might say. Gojyo is looking at him with such devotion, Hakkai knows nothing he could say would be as hurtful as he imagines.

"I did love you from the start." He says, speaking quickly as it seemed Gojyo would speak again. "But…but not…as I do now. You were, honestly, the first friend I ever knew outside of Kanan. Others in our village I will never call friend for how they sacrificed one woman to save themselves, but you…you, Gojyo, were…my dearest friend. More than that."

Gojyo's eyes dim, losing a bit of their humor. "I was…admonishment. A reminder."

"That's not what I meant." Hakkai says before Gojyo has even finished his phrase. The healer squeezes the remaining hand in his grasp, looking hard at Gojyo and refusing to allow his friend to turn away. "I could not have accepted you as any more than a friend when our paths first crossed, and yet…you were more than a friend from the very beginning. I can't explain it, but…it's as if I somehow knew there would always be some unspoken connection between us even if I didn't understand it. Perhaps you mean something different when you speculate you loved me from the moment we met, but--"

"No. No, I mean it exactly the same." Gojyo breaks in, smiling again and adoring how he and Hakkai always manage to end up on the same page. "You think me—me—Gojyo the almighty ladies man saw this coming? Hell no. You were just the bleeding guy. You were Gonou and Hakkai, and then you were my friend, my best friend. But lover? Shit…I never would have thought we'd get here. And yet…damn, I must have known something, like you said, even if I didn't understand. Loving you is way too easy, beautiful."

A bright blush rises to the uppermost part of Hakkai's cheeks. He is caught by crimson by his own volition but almost wishes he could look away under their piercing gaze. "Beautiful…?" he whispers, thinking he sounds positively silly but not really caring. Many people have called him beautiful or pretty, even Gojyo has several times before tonight, but something in the expression now seems greater. Stronger.

"Yeah…beautiful." Gojyo grins back, leaning down to claim another kiss.

Hakkai stops him with the gentle brush of fingers against the fine lines of Gojyo's scars. "I think you're the one who's beautiful…Gojyo. In any form." He adds, knowing Gojyo might very well be reminded of the dreamworld and the other Gojyo in all his youkai glory. "In _every_ form." Hakkai stresses.

"Ditto. And hey, we two supremely hot and sexy guys better get cracking. It'd be a waste if we didn't put these gorgeous bodies to some use…doncha think?"

"Ahaha. You rogue." Hakkai accuses with a wide smile.

Gojyo couldn't be happier to return an almost identical expression. "You know you like it..." He purrs, before dipping down without further interruption and claiming Hakkai's lips like devouring the most precious of fruit. He cloys for Hakkai's tongue, searching, needy. Gojyo thinks he has never been this needy for touch, for sensation, despite being granted such blissful release the day before.

No. Once could not be enough. Never enough. He wants Hakkai again and again, for the rest of his life. And the finality in that thought doesn't even scare him. Only the absence of it does.

"G-Gojyo…" Hakkai moans, eyes fluttering at the feel of the kappa's skilled tongue heading for his ear. It sends a shock straight to Hakkai's groin, and if he wasn't already becoming hard, the light flicks of Gojyo's tongue against hyper-sensitive cartilage are enough to have him squirming beneath his friend in sheer bliss.

Gojyo dusts his tongue over Hakkai's ear again, slowly, drawing sensation out. Hakkai is making those little gasps he remembers from that ill-fated day they first found intimacy. Even now Gojyo is angry with himself for how he had forced pleasure on the other man, but how they have come so far since then dulls the heartache. This time Hakkai is producing little gasps and moans oh so willingly and clutching at Gojyo's arms as if the kappa is Hakkai's only anchor to sanity.

This is nothing, Gojyo thinks, imagining so many ways he might send Hakkai into rapture. Deciding to try one possible way out, he starts to descend. He pauses at Hakkai's collarbone a moment, striking wet kisses and laps with his tongue, but moves on, lower until reaching the brunette's slightly heaving chest. He runs his tongue along a nipple, as feather-light as he had attacked the man's ear. Hearing Hakkai hiss in increasing desire is all Gojyo needs to be spurned further.

It must be several minutes that Gojyo spends working Hakkai's hardening nubs, giving each a proper turn. One thing about having more experience with women than men is being able to tease nipples like few men can, and he soon has Hakkai close to thrashing on the bed. All the while their closely met—but just out of reach—groins have been unconsciously twitching, desperate to meet.

Gojyo's attentions on Hakkai have proven to arouse him just as greatly as his friend, and he cannot get rid of their pants fast enough. He kicks off his own first before madly tugging and clawing at Hakkai's. When he has freed them both of the last bit of clothing they had on, he climbs up Hakkai's body and kisses the man soundly, making sure to meet their now naked bodies at every possible intersection of skin. It takes all the strength in him not to moan into Hakkai's mouth at how wonderful it feels to be pressed so tightly together. Especially knowing all the while where things are headed.

Grinning to himself within their heated kiss, Gojyo takes hold of Hakkai's arms and rolls them over until they have switched positions. The bed is barely large enough to keep them from rolling right off, but Gojyo figured the risk would be worth it.

Hakkai is the one who thinks this decision strange and he pulls from their kiss, sitting up so that he is straddling Gojyo's waist, and stares down at the redhead questioningly. "Gojyo…" the healer says, breathless and flushed, "…I…I thought…well…I thought _you_ wanted to--"

"Who says I don't?" the kappa winks in reply, reaching down to grip Hakkai's slender hips and making a point to pull the slightly smaller man hard against him so that their erections touch. Both of them quiver and Gojyo laughs at how good it feels. "I…shit…I just want a better view is all, baby. With you like this…damn. I can't even imagine."

Hakkai promptly blushes, just as Gojyo knew he would, and tries to contain himself enough not to grind his hips into Gojyo's as he so desperately wants to.

Seeing the hesitation on Hakkai's face, Gojyo lifts himself up—not an easy feat with several pounds of grown man on his chest—and whispers beside Hakkai's ear. His grin is apparent even through his words. "Baby…" he breathes, "…I want you to ride me well into the wee hours of the morning…coz believe me…I have never wanted someone this badly."

A shudder trembles through Hakkai's body. Hakkai could never say these things, the things Gojyo speaks of so openly. In his youkai form perhaps, but never as he is. This makes Hakkai supremely grateful that Gojyo is as sexually driven as he is, because then Hakkai's own desires can be called out and fulfilled without him having to ask himself.

It still seems a bit strange when he sits himself up more fully and Gojyo lies back down. It definitely embarrasses him a little when he spreads his bent legs to offer Gojyo access, lifting his hips in the process so that Gojyo can actually get to the place he plans to go. But with how Gojyo is looking up at him with barely controlled desire, Hakkai quickly feels rather uncaring about any butterflies or blushes.

The brunette tenses slightly when Gojyo's large hands slide up his thighs, caressing the smooth skin there and trailing all the way up Hakkai's sides. While one hand remains at Hakkai's hip, the other stars a slow, teasing trail towards the prize. Gojyo feathers over Hakkai's erection and continues straight for—

"Shit."

Hakkai's euphoria is interrupted as Gojyo suddenly ceases. "Gojyo…?" he asks, his voice shaky and timid. He fears whatever has caused Gojyo to stop must surely be a fault with him somehow.

"It's just…I forgot to grab the lube from my bag." Gojyo explains, speaking quickly to quell whatever false assumptions Hakkai might have. "I hate to wreck the mood, but…we should probably get it."

Hakkai is relieved and yet troubled at the same time. He lowers himself again so that he is sitting on Gojyo's chest. "We didn't use anything before. It wouldn't really be fair, would it?"

"Since when does fair give me the right to hurt you?"

Hakkai flinches, his eyes narrowed and his expression worrisome. "Gojyo…did _I_…hurt you?"

Shit. Gojyo really is good at sticking his foot in his mouth. "No. Don't even start down that self-loathing track, you hear me? I was fine. Besides, I asked for everything I got."

"But Gojyo--"

"Shut up already. Do I look like I had a problem with what went on? Hell no. I can't wait to go again," the kappa leers, running his hands up and down Hakkai's thighs again. "So why don't you make yourself useful and grab the stuff from my bag, huh, baby? The sooner we have it the sooner we can get on with things."

Hakkai offers Gojyo a very skeptical and annoyed look, wholly understanding that the redhead is purposely goading him so the previous subject will be dropped. Normally, Hakkai would push and prod further to get at the heart of a matter, but since Gojyo does genuinely seem unconcerned, he figures the least he can do is head for Gojyo's bag.

His own heated libido has nothing to do with his decision, he reasons, despite how difficult it is to lift himself from Gojyo and walk to the pack on the other side of the room with a prominent hard-on between his legs. He sincerely hopes his 'problem' doesn't make his walk look as ridiculous as he feels it is, but since Gojyo doesn't release any snickers, he figures he must be okay.

What Hakkai doesn't realize is that Gojyo is far too preoccupied with a naked Hakkai's backside to pay attention to any trifling details like an abnormal walk.

Gojyo swallows back the dryness in his throat. Hakkai must be one of those Greek statues or something, the kappa thinks, watching how each muscle shifts and moves within the brunette's lithe frame as he walks and eventually crouches in front of Gojyo's bag. The slightly damp hair messed up so adorably, especially in the back, and how every inch of Hakkai's pale skin begs to be touched, makes it very difficult for Gojyo not to leap out of the bed and ravage his friend right there on the bedroom floor.

"Is this it?"

Gojyo does not hear Hakkai, focused on the other man's flushed face, smooth chest, and obvious erection now that Hakkai is facing him again. Seeing as how the healer is still crouched it reveals his body in an incredibly inviting way. Gojyo licks his lips at the sight.

"Gojyo? Is this it?" Hakkai asks again, waving the small tube in the air in hopes of catching Gojyo's attention. It does not pass Hakkai by where the kappa's eyes are zeroed in. Standing from his squat with the slow grace of a limber—remarkably limber—dancer, Hakkai takes very measured steps back towards the bed, still holding the tube. "Goodness, it seems your mind is somewhere else, Gojyo. Should we call things off for the night?"

"Huh?" Now Gojyo is definitely paying attention. "Not even funny," he says with the slightest hint of color overtaking his cheeks. "You know what a short attention span I got. I'm easily distracted by pretty, shiny, too-sexy-to-be-real objects." Gojyo's crimson eyes make a quick perusal of Hakkai's naked, trim, and slightly sweat-glistened body. He reaches out a hand. "Now get the hell over here already."

With a mildly triumphant smile, Hakkai obliges, taking Gojyo's hand and willingly being brought back onto the bed to quickly reclaim his original place atop the kappa's chest. Gojyo lifts up, pulling Hakkai into a long, promising kiss before finally settling down again. He squeezes some of the lube onto his fingers.

Still feeling rather obliging, Hakkai once again raises his hips and spreads his legs, his butterflies significantly duller than his desires. It does not hurt when Gojyo begins to stretch him, though it is the strangest of sensations, Hakkai decides, wondering why his body feels such a need to move against Gojyo's fingers once the kappa has successfully prepared him.

Hakkai absently licks at his own lips, deciding he most definitely _does_ know why his body wants to move, because it wants so much more of Gojyo and it will not be satisfied until its wants are met. Hakkai's readiness must show in his eyes for Gojyo removes his fingers and slicks his erection in a single motion. He holds Hakkai with one hand in aided support and guides his way to Hakkai's entrance with the other.

More than little gasps leave Hakkai as Gojyo takes him. The healer moans almost immediately, head tossed to the side and back arching, proving to give Gojyo even more access until he is soon buried as deeply within Hakkai as he could ever have imagined. Hakkai lets his body relax, settling back to sit on Gojyo and therefore taking Gojyo all the deeper. The depth of the connection has both of them reeling.

Gojyo barely has the ability to move when his hips begin a natural series of thrusts up, both hands taking hold of Hakkai's hips.

Neck still limp and back forever arched in sensation, Hakkai does his best to help Gojyo's movements, riding the kappa just as Gojyo said he wanted. There is the occasional sting and the initial contact was certainly strange, but Hakkai finds his youkai constitution makes this ridiculously easy in the end and all he feels is personified ecstasy.

"Kai…" Gojyo gasps, kicked back on the mattress but loving the show he is presented with Hakkai fully upright and writhing. "Hey…"

Hakkai opens his tightly clenched eyes, the emeralds hazy and glazed. The healer makes no noise in response but looks down at Gojyo in question.

The most devious of grins takes hold of Gojyo's lips, and without breaking eye contact he moves one of his hands from Hakkai's hip to blindly search for one of the healer's hands. When he finds one he guides it up Hakkai's thighs and further towards the brunette's neglected length.

Hakkai's gasps when his own hand comes into contacted with heated flesh. He knits his brow at Gojyo, not understanding.

Gojyo holds Hakkai's hand in place. "…I wanna watch you go." He says in a husky whisper. "Can't help thinkin'…it'd have to be one of the sexiest damn things I could ever hope to see."

As flushed as Hakkai's cheeks are already, and even with Gojyo's thrusts and his own reciprocating movements slowed, Hakkai's face fills with color. "Gojyo…?"

The kappa grins wider. "Humor me…" he says. He moves his hand away but drifts his eyes down Hakkai's body until he has a clear shot between the other man's legs.

It takes several moments for Hakkai to register what Gojyo wants and to actually find the nerve to comply. But with Gojyo watching him with such expectancy and how much he truly feels a need to touch himself as Gojyo desires, Hakkai's fingers curl around his swelled length and give the first of several tugs.

The healer grits his teeth, hissing at how unfairly good it feels. When he looks down at Gojyo and catches the redhead watching him with such hungry looks and the occasional glance up to meet Hakkai's eyes, everything unravels. Soon, Hakkai is feeding off the effect he has on Gojyo just as Gojyo is feeding off Hakkai's self-pleasure. And all the while they are still so intimately joined, their hips slowly moving in the most sensual of dances.

Hakkai banishes his prudishness and gives Gojyo what he wants, touching himself with his fingertips and sometimes with the whole of his hand squeezing and pulling and drawing out so many raw sounds from his throat. Hakkai is not a man that indulges in such things often, but he follows his instincts, doing his best to linger and tease and hold himself back so that he does not come too soon.

"Gods…Kai…" Gojyo gasps, giving a few suddenly deeper and more urgent pumps up. His eyes are glued to _Hakkai's_ hand on _Hakkai's_ dick, and damn does a small part of him still think this is not something he should be turned on by. But in the end, he can't deny he is beyond controllable sensation. "You're…so fucking _hot_..." On Gojyo's gutturally spoken words, the kappa increases his rhythm to an impossible level, to a desperate level seeking release as quickly as he can get it.

In kind, Hakkai picks up the pace of his hand's movements, stroking himself with quick short pumps just as Gojyo is pumping into him. The similar actions rise in crescendo together, the pair's voices rising as well. Gojyo's deep grunts and Hakkai's uncontrollable moans in that higher, melodic voice push them further yet until the noise, the movements, the friction has them sizzling in heat all over. When the sun explodes within them and all their unified heat erupts, Hakkai almost instantly pitches forward, collapsing onto Gojyo's chest.

Their hitched breathing fills the room and when they look into each other's eyes nothing leaves their lips. Nothing has to. They simply smile, both amazed that they actually came together, and remain interlocked and pressed tight for as long as their sticky bodies can stand it.

"Hakkai…you…are…amazing."

"Just…amazing?"

"Fucking incredibly." Gojyo mends. "Shit…I…I've never…I mean, _never_…and you…you…damn, I love you so much."

Hakkai chuckles, content beyond human calculation. Even the loom of tomorrow's darkness cannot darken his euphoria tonight. "I love you too, Gojyo…"

-----

In the adjacent room Sanzo and Goku are snuggled securely under the covers of their bed. It is too warm tonight to have the comforter on so Goku quickly kicked it onto the floor, leaving them with a sheet and lighter blanket. Goku mysteriously opted to hop into bed in only his shorts, not changing into his nightshirt as would be normal. Sanzo has also opted out of wearing much more than a comfortable pair of pants, so the two lay tightly tangled together and touching in many places with skin on skin.

Neither has his eyes closed or has any thoughts on sleeping. They stare at the ceiling, their thinking loud enough to distract one another. Goku has so many questions, so many things he wants to say, but everything sounds so stupid when he thinks about voicing them.

Finally, it is Sanzo who cannot stand the static quiet and the monk speaks. "Goku…" he says, trailing at first, gauging just how much he feels he can say. His instincts are still telling him to be ambiguous and aloof, as is his nature, but it really isn't his nature anymore when dealing with Goku. More and more he is being kinder, gentler, more like a real love and lover, and it scares him…how easy it is becoming. "I…I…" _Feel like such a fool._ "We won't fail tomorrow. It isn't an option." He says confidently, pulling himself together to sound as formidable as possible.

Goku nods against him, the boy's head tucked under Sanzo's chin.

"So…there is nothing to be nervous about or…to have us thinking we need to make any stupid confessions or promises."

Goku nods again.

Sanzo says nothing for some time. His instincts are screaming at him, but his newly beating heart is pumping so forcefully he can hear the beat loudly as if the sound is coming from all sides. He wants to be better than he is. He wants to offer Goku whatever can be offered. He wants to find what remains of Koryuu inside of him and to hang on to that young boy with all his strength so he can love as his master hoped he would love.

"Goku…no…promises, but…but if there is…anything you want from me…I…" _I sound like such a fool. But…I don't care. Not anymore._ "I'll do…anything. So…if there is something you want…" Really, Sanzo does feel like he is weakened by saying such things, proving to himself that he is hopelessly lost in his love for Goku and unable to overcome it any longer. He _is_ attached. And…he doesn't care. He can't. Not when holding the boy close feels as good as it does.

Goku thinks for a long time, surprised that Sanzo would offer something so uncharacteristically…sentimental. He trails his fingers over Sanzo's chest and finally says, "Well…I…I'd really like…to hear you laugh, Sanzo."

"Laugh?" Sanzo almost barks a laugh when he repeats the word. How ridiculous.

"I know you laugh sometimes but not really in a good way. You laugh _at_ people. You laugh…_mean_. The couple a times I've heard you really laugh you always stop right away and try to act all pissy again. I wanna hear you really laugh."

Half of Sanzo thinks this is the stupidest request he has ever heard, which should be expected since it came out of Goku. "I take it you don't expect me to give a few 'ha has' and then you'll be happy." He says with a liberal amount of mocking in his voice. He can't be nice all the time, after all; he's still Sanzo. "You have to give me a reason to laugh, monkey. And why is it such a big deal anyway?"

"I didn't say it was a…big deal."

"I said I'd do anything and you responded 'laugh.' If it's the first thing to your mind that means it's important."

Goku digs his head a little deeper into Sanzo's chest, breathing in the clean smell of the monk's skin. "Actually…the first thought I had was…I want to hear you _sing_." He says with a small grin.

The response to this is an almost animal-like grumble.

"But I'll stick with laugh." Goku mends. He lifts his head then, looking into wonderfully soft violet eyes. "I just like seeing parts of you that…surprise me. Parts that you don't use too much. You should laugh more anyway. It's good for you. But don't worry, I still like you the way you are."

"Lucky me," Sanzo says derisively. He looks at Goku expectantly then and waits.

Goku mulls for a moment. "Hmmm…I doubt you'll laugh at any jokes. And telling you all the stupid things I used to do while you were away from the temple would probably just make you mad."

"What stupid things?"

"See? No way I'm going there."

Sanzo debates pressing the matter but remembers that he's the one who offered this chance to Goku and he really should give the boy the chance to get what he wants. He waits, as patiently as is possible for him, before Goku finally looks as if he has formed an idea. The not so subtle smirk on the boy's face is slightly unsettling.

"You don't like be touched too much, huh?"

Sanzo already knows he doesn't like where this is going.

"You let _me_ touch you, did even before we started doing the fun stuff, but still…I don't think I've ever had the chance to find…" Goku's smirk widens. He tilts his head up so that his and Sanzo's noses bump. "Ticklish anywhere, Sanzo-sama?"

Panic seizes Sanzo but his diligent and often mischievous pet is gone before he can respond. Goku is suddenly under the covers, roving madly with less than gentle hands down Sanzo's sides. When the monkey touches the parallel patches of skin just under his ribs he very clearly flinches.

A voice rises up from the covers. "Looks like I found a spot, huh?"

Sanzo can hear every inch of Goku's smirk and it is almost as maddening as the oncoming assault he knows is about to begin. Quickly, the monk grabs hold of the sheet and blanket and tosses them aside, revealing Goku and his ill-intentioned hands. "Don't even think about it." Sanzo warns, his glare impressive but filled with the most adorable look of alarm.

A monkey-grin is Sanzo's reply…before Goku attacks. Tickle fights are not entirely uncommon between him and Gojyo, though play-fighting is usually the norm. Still, Goku knows how to tickle and he sets to works, playing his fingers equally light and hard to make Sanzo squirm.

"Stop that!" Sanzo growls, grabbing Goku's shoulders and trying his best to push the boy away. Goku hardly moves, his superior strength aiding his attack, and Sanzo is soon wriggling to get free, his breath hitching as he tries as hard as he can…not to laugh.

He knows full well he told Goku he would do whatever the boy wants of him, but giving in like this is just…unfair.

Goku does not let up and he knows Sanzo can't possibly last much longer. He dips down and brushes the tip of his nose along Sanzo's sensitive skin, still feathering his hands over the same ticklish area.

When the first short though very real chuckle breaks from Sanzo's lips, Goku is filled with the thrill of success and tickles harder, enjoying this with more than a little deviance.

"You…damn…monkey!" And there is nothing more to be done, for Sanzo has to laugh or risk exploding. For a few moments he laughs so hard his eyes water and he fears Gojyo and Hakkai might hear him and think the monk has lost his mind for good this time.

There is no debating it. Goku must pay.

Rather than struggle again, Sanzo waits until Goku thinks he has the priest right where he wants him and then Sanzo springs. He uses his extra weight to propel him and Goku upwards. He has his hands on Goku's naked chest and stomach before the boy can blink.

"No, Sanzo, don't!" Goku shouts, already laughing easily since Goku has never had a problem with expulsions of mirth. "No, no, please!"

"Like hell, monkey," Sanzo replies, and though his own laughter has dulled, it remains in his voice, filling his tone with humor—real and free humor. Even his eyes are laughing.

Sanzo tickles Goku until the monkey tumbles back and the two of them are lying quite contrary to the bed with their heads where their feet should be. Little does Sanzo realize that Goku is just waiting for the right chance before the monkey's arms shoot out and Goku is tickling Sanzo again even while being tickled himself.

The two of them attack and laugh and tumble on the bed until their sides hurt and their faces are screaming for reprieve.

Goku feels like he is recapturing a moment of youth he never really got to enjoy, and Sanzo feels much the same. Neither had childhoods filled with laughter or filled with friends that would seek their happiness at any cost. Not only have they found such a thing now but they have found it in men that love them despite all the horrors within.

The thought of that and how good it really does feel to just…laugh, has Sanzo refusing to feel foolish or frightened for giving in to Goku so completely. In the end he knows now that this is what he wants. What he has always wanted. And what his master hoped for him. To never look at the world with dead eyes but with eyes that can see home and long to return to it.

_Goku _is_ home, Master. Forgive me for taking so long to carry out your wishes._

"Enough…" Sanzo gasps, though his and Goku's hands have already started to pull away from one another in exhaustion. "I can't…take any…more."

"That…sucked." Goku says, though he is still half-laughing and beaming brightly.

Sanzo shakes his head, the smile still quite evident on his face. "You started it."

"You said I could." Goku counters.

Sanzo opens his mouth to counter back but thinks better of it. He really isn't in the mood to argue. He doesn't know what he is in the mood for, but he does know he isn't in the mood to be angry, cynical, or cruel. Goku has had to deal with enough of that, and to be honest, Sanzo is a little sick of having to be that way. At least all the time. He figures moments like this won't come often or easy, but they _will_ come. He'll make certain of it.

"Sanzo…" Goku says after they have regained their breaths. "I've always wanted to ask you something, but…I thought you'd just tell me to shut up."

"What is it?"

Seeing as how Sanzo is actually prompting him and looking at him with such earnest affection, Goku figures he finally has the courage to respond. "Why do you hate being touched so much? I mean…I know you don't like it. Not even when Gojyo or Hakkai do it. You let me, but…I kinda take that from a different perspective these days." Goku allows himself a grin but wants to stay serious. He really does want to know why the priest avoids physical touch so much.

Sanzo would love to ignore the question or bark out a nasty response why he shouldn't have to answer, but he has started down a path tonight he cannot easily turn back from. Besides, when so much is at stake tomorrow, he figures he owes Goku and himself…as much as he can give.

This isn't going to be easy; Sanzo hates sob-stories, especially his own. He has never been big on physical touch, even when Koumyo was still alive and would tousle his hair, but it was after one of several like events that he finally couldn't stand touch at all anymore.

Closing his eyes out of inexplicable need, Sanzo softly begins to speak, "The first time I ever…killed someone…"

Goku is at rapt attention.

"…he…he…" _I really am giving everything to you now, Goku._ "…he tried to rape me."

"…what?"

Sanzo clenches his eyes tighter. "It's not like he got very far. It wasn't that big a deal anyway. It happened a lot after that."

"A _lot_?"

Goku's tone is far too interested and worried for Sanzo to handle. He never wants to be pitied. Ever. "You know those damn perverts are always after me. I can't escape them. Random youkai, random humans, _Dougan_. I either threaten them away or kill them. Not a one has ever gotten further than that first one did, and he barely had his hands on me before I fired."

"But…Sanzo…" Goku trails, conscious of Sanzo's discomfort and just how tightly the blonde's eyes are closed. "How…how old were you?"

Now this feels like a therapy session. If the monkey starts saying shit like, it'll be okay, or, it wasn't your fault, Sanzo swears to kill the brat. He opens his eyes, fed up with looking and feeling so weak. "I was thirteen, right after leaving Kinzan temple." He says without batting an eye. "This guy tried for something I wasn't going to give him and I shot him—dead. I don't…I don't like people…getting that close."

"Then…why do you let _me_?"

Sanzo raises an eyebrow, more than ready to state the obvious answer to that, but Goku speaks on.

"I already said it, Sanzo. Even before we got to the more sexual stuff you always let me touch you. Well…not always, but…you never flinched or complained really. As long as I didn't do anything too much or too…weird…you let me touch you from the first day we met. Why?"

To be frank, Sanzo has never thought about it. It was always so easy to let Goku touch him, he never questioned it. The monkey added himself to Sanzo's life as if he had simply stepped out of it for a time and was suddenly back again. The transition was sickeningly easy.

Since Sanzo doesn't have an answer, he figures he doesn't have to give one. He reaches out and strokes Goku's cheek with the warm palm of his hand, looking into the blissful abyss of gold that is Goku's eyes. Easy. It was always easy, and it still is. It is so _easy_…to love Goku.

He just needed someone to knock some sense into him, and the monkey was more than up to that task.

"Sanzo…" Goku starts, looking at Sanzo under heavy lids that speak of unspoken intentions. "…I'm hungry."

Sanzo's knee-jerk reaction is to smack the boy, but he grits his teeth instead. "I am not getting out of this bed to make you something. I don't care how cute you look when you pout."

Goku's eyes brighten. "You think I look cute when I pout?"

"Don't change the subject. You're not getting fed."

The monkey's eyes lose a bit of their brightness, but when Goku speaks again, sounding dejected, his words are strangely unconvincing. "Okay, Sanzo. I won't go down to the kitchen." He says.

Sanzo knows something more is coming, but he is still not prepared for it when Goku springs into action.

"Guess I'll just have to find something _else_ to eat…"

"Damn it, Goku!" Sanzo calls, since the boy has once again dived for Sanzo's lower half. This time, however, Goku dives head first, placing his head back towards the right side of the bed and leaving his rear near Sanzo's face. Goku's feet hang off the bed now, but not by much. "Goku…!"

Gripping Sanzo's pants and pulling at them with ease, Goku removes the monk of his remaining clothing only too easily. Staring at the sight before him now, he licks his lips. "Always wondered what a Sanzo tastes like." He grins, before moving in to devour Sanzo just as he would anything else, with gusto and his full attention.

"Go…ku…! Stop that!" Sanzo cries, filled with pleasure against his will and feeling very much like Goku's toy. Or midnight snack. Neither really feels all that masculine. "Stop!"

"Come on, Sanzo, you like it," Goku says, pulling his mouth from Sanzo's now wet length and grinning down the monk's body. "You gotta be curious what this feels like. I've barely started."

An injured part of Sanzo's pride feels a need to speak up. "And what makes you think I don't know what it feels like?"

It takes all of Goku's willpower not to laugh out loud. "Come on, Sanzo. Even if I didn't know how much you hate touch or how you kill anyone who tries to touch you, anyone could tell you're a virgin." Goku says, rambling right on into his next sentence and missing the look of growing anger on Sanzo's face. "Well, a virgin besides sleeping with me. But other than me, I know you're a virgin in all these sex things. It's _you_." When Goku looks towards Sanzo's face then he finally sees just how mad the priest looks. "Ehhh…"

"Anyone could tell, huh? And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Realization dawns on Goku hard and fast. "No, Sanzo, not like that! I don't mean coz you're bad in bed, or…that you look prissy or something. Well…"

Sanzo glares.

Goku grins stupidly. "I'm…gonna get back to the sex stuff and shut up now. I'm just glad you're a virgin in these things so I can be the first one to do them to you." And then, with all the jubilance and fervor of youth, Goku takes Sanzo into his mouth and sucks—hard.

Sanzo forgets what he is supposed to be mad about for a full minute and gives in to a few yelps of pleasure. When he can think straight again he does his best to focus his mind while Goku is working him. The way Goku is positioned on the bed has the monkey's crotch in just the right spot for revenge, and any possible prudish reservations fly out the window at the chance for some payback.

A quick jerk has Goku's shorts off and onto the floor. Sanzo wastes no time before running his tongue down Goku's full length, bold and teasing. The boy is already somewhat hard, which doesn't surprise Sanzo. He vaguely wonders what it takes to get the monkey excited since a few minutes of pleasuring Sanzo almost has him fully erect.

He forgets about that for now and concentrates on his revenge. Sanzo may not be experienced but he isn't stupid. When he lightly uses his teeth, he means to.

"Ah! Sanzo!" Goku calls, pulling away to look accusingly at the monk.

Sanzo makes a point of ignoring the boy's protests and continues his work, though he is careful to avoid using teeth now that he is sure Goku is paying attention.

He pulls Goku in as far as he can and starts to swallow. Experience has nothing on knowledge, and whether he wants to listen to Gojyo sometimes or not, knowing the kappa comes with a lot of knowledge.

Goku can't possibly allow Sanzo to outdo him and things quickly turn into a contest of wills. Goku returns to Sanzo's erection and takes it slowly, sucking down inches. When the tip touches the back of his throat Goku hums, having a little knowledge of his own.

The sensation is so strong for Sanzo, the monk moans, still with Goku in his mouth. The sound vibrates much like a hum and has Goku moaning too. The more one of them reacts, the more the other gets pleasured as well, and the knowledge of their cyclical war dawns on both until they are swallowing each other down and working one another to frenzy.

Sooner than expected, both head for their peaks, but before they can soar on through to the end, Sanzo has the overwhelming urge…to kiss his monkey senseless for daring such a thing in the first place.

It happens so fast, Goku is almost unaware for a moment that the object in his mouth is now Sanzo's tongue, moving and prodding against his own for a reaction.

The monk had reached down, dislodged Goku, and tugged the boy back up beside him so that they are once again both with their heads at the foot of the bed. Their kiss is sloppy and wet and amazingly deep. They would climb inside each other's mouths if they could; they want connection so badly. But tonight they do not want it as they have had it before.

When they turn towards one another and their kiss slows, their bodies pick up the slack. Below the waste both Sanzo and Goku are sticky and wet now, and their bodies move with natural ease against each other. Never once do they pull from their kissing, feeling out every crevice of tongue and cheek, and all the while they are moving their hips so their erections meet. Combined, it all feels so perfectly heightened that when they finally do come both men are still thrusting and kissing long afterwards.

They are thankful the comforter was kicked to the floor earlier, because the sheet and blanket are soon used to wipe them off and neither can imagine sleeping without something to cover their naked bodies. Sanzo is the one to finally reach for the discarded comforter and they lie, wrapped in bliss and each other, their heads still at the foot of the bed. Even in dreams no horrors come to wake them in the night.

There will be plenty of time for horrors tomorrow.

-----

_Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee!_

Lirin doesn't even look where she is going but manages to find the bathroom in the dark anyway. Once relieved, she hobbles sleepily back to the bedroom. Being so tired—it can't be much later than three in the morning—she surely would have missed the sight in the window if the moon hadn't been pouring inside.

Stopping just in front of her bed, Lirin stares at the window seat, quite a bit more awake now. She never would have believed it if she wasn't seeing it for herself.

Fast asleep, her brother sits in the window, his red head leaning against the glass. On the floor, where it looks as if she simply fell into a heap, sleeps Yaone, her lavender head placed ever so gently on Kougaiji's lap while the youkai prince's clawed hand rests tangled in her hair. The sight is terribly sweet, and though Lirin is certain it happened without either Kougaiji or Yaone's full knowledge, it still brings a grin to the younger girl's face.

_Everything seems so scary for tomorrow, Niichan, but I know things'll be okay. One day you and Yaone-chan will stop being so silly, and all of us'll be happy away from that awful castle. Baldy and his group can help us. I know they can._

And blissfully unaware of just how futile her dream might be, Lirin climbs back into bed and surrenders quickly into dreamland.

tbc...

A/N: This is how much I love you. Mid-terms kicked my ass, it is 2:30am, and I am posting so you can have something to read while I'll be gone for Spring Break. I hope you appreciate my suffering. :-) On a brighter side if anyone is in Minnesota and going to Anime Detour in Bloomington, I, your faithful author, will be there. I will be dressing up as Tifa from Advent Children and Miyu from Vampire Princess Miyu. Before leaving Sunday I will wear one of the many GojyoxHakkai shirts I have made. :-) Hope to see someone there. Let me know. As for what comes next, I think most of you know, though no one may realize the extent of Nii's cruelty. I will say that I finally got through the third reload manga and Burial has changed this story's ending. I won't tell you why or how, but I feel much better about things. See you after Spring Break and have a great time, everyone!

Crim


	16. Betrayal

Betrayal

* * *

Morning came too quickly, not a single person in the combined groups denies that. Packing up within both cottages is already finished, leaving only the task of choosing the most pertinent of supplies to be added to the dragons. Anything unnecessary will be left behind. A small bag of snacks has already been requested and made ready. But not even the brightest smile from Lirin or Goku seems enough to soften thoughts of the looming battle ahead.

Hakuryuu has been clinging to Hakkai's shoulder since dawn, having been told numerous times how sorry everyone is he cannot help as transportation, since it is his primary function in the group other than loveable companion. Therefore, he sits and fidgets anxiously, 'kyuing' repeatedly beside Hakkai's ear for reassurance.

Hakkai wishes he had more to say. "Don't fret, little friend. You have faith in us, don't you?"

The dragon chirps a hurried 'of course' but looks too pensive for his response to seem wholly genuine. Everything is too uncertain about the future, especially the immediate future with the battle for Houtou Castle. Getting inside is first, but once through, once there, finally there, a truly vicious and devious villain awaits them.

"It'll be…all right, Hakuryuu. Keep looking so nervous and you'll have everyone doubting themselves."

"Heh. Like we aren't already?" Gojyo snorts, sauntering up next to Hakkai as the healer straps in some final supplies to one of the riding dragons. Hakkai gives Gojyo a rather nasty look for the kappa's comment. "Ouch. I'm just sayin'." Gojyo counters. "We don't even know what we're heading into. A few months back…maybe I wouldn't feel this way, but…after Kami-sama, after the dreamworld, being…so damn…helpless all the time…shit. This Nii, Ukoku, whoever he is…I gotta be honest…the whole thing scares me a little."

Hakkai wishes he had even a handful of assuring words. "I know…" he says instead.

"Better gimme a _real_ good kiss goodbye then." Gojyo replies with a grin. He has absolutely no shame as he slips an arm around Hakkai's waist and presses him back against the larger dragon.

While normally Hakkai might protest, he can't think of a single good reason to do so today. He allows the desperate kiss, the too fierce lip-lock that steals his breath and leaves him loudly gasping. He even returns for another, pulling Gojyo as close as the dragon at his back—and on his shoulder—will allow before both dragons start making noises of complaint.

Laughing slightly, Gojyo pulls back but not very far, wanting to memorize every imperfection on Hakkai's face. He figures he can handle that much since the healer is practically flawless.

The others attending dragons and enjoying the sunshine before departure ignore the display, happy that Gojyo and Hakkai's interaction is partially hidden. No one would begrudge them the moment of shared affection but it reminds everyone a little harshly just how much is on the line.

Kougaiji is struggling so hard against the spell he is practically shaking. He flinches often, the pain in his head and chest so great with each attempt to break free. But the situation is desperate now. They will soon leave and head for Houtou Castle. They will soon take off on their dragons with the Sanzo-ikkou along for the ride so they can lead their new friends to their demise. Perhaps if Kougaiji acts as uncharacteristic and disturbed as possible, Sanzo will distrust him enough to call the whole thing off.

"Something wrong?" Sanzo asks the prince, since Kougaiji has approached the monk looking clearly agitated in his fighting of the spell.

"There is a lot at risk. Would you expect me to be fine?" he replies, gritting his teeth with his urge to shout 'no! I'm not fine and it's because…' But even thinking such a thing causes a shoot of pain to rip between Kougaiji's temples. "I will do what I can to get us inside the castle and we will succeed, but Nii…knows we're coming." The youkai prince struggles to get even those last words out.

_It's more than that, damn it! You have to listen to me! He knows! He's waiting for you! We can't do this! We have to abort! We have to abort now! Please! Stop trusting me!_

But although Kougaiji's eyes sparkle and scream it is not enough to look like more than mere nerves and fear to Sanzo.

"We should leave soon. Everything is packed, and waiting around only has everyone restless." Sanzo says, oblivious to Kougaiji's plight. He looks around, catching sight of Goku and Lirin playfully rough-housing near one of the cottages while Dokugakuji and Yaone talk a few feet away with strained smiles. Hakkai and Gojyo are still by their dragon. "We'll each ride with one of you, since you know how to handle these things," Sanzo says in regard to the dragons. "Other than Ukoku…_Nii_ possibly knowing we're coming, is there anything else you aren't telling us?"

Kougaiji internally screams. This is truly too cruel. "Nothing." Kougaiji unfairly answers. "But…are you certain you are in good enough condition for this battle, Sanzo? Your friends do not seem as certain as you. Perhaps you should--"

"What? Sit around and wait for _him_ to come for _us_?" Sanzo growls, cutting off Kougaiji's meager attempt to postpone things in the only way the spell will allow. For the first time in days Sanzo is garbed in his robes, mended and pristine as they hang a little more loosely than usually. He reaches into his sleeves and retrieves his gun. "I don't even need one whole hand to pull this trigger. We're leaving now. What that man has coming…is long overdue."

Sanzo turns briskly, replacing his gun inside his robes as he heads for Lirin and Goku since the pair is the furthest away and in need of being reeled in. He leaves Kougaiji feeling utterly helpless. The prince agrees with Sanzo completely; Nii has had it coming for far too long. But even with all the confidence in the world it will do the Sanzo-ikkou little good when they reach Houtou Castle.

_Somehow…we'll think of something. He won't win. He won't…_

"Brats, move your asses!" Sanzo bellows at the young pair. Currently, Goku has a handful of Lirin's hair and Lirin is half-choking Goku with a good hold of the monkey's orange cape. Sanzo just shakes his head at them, refusing to find the sight as adorable as it is. "Goku, you're riding with Lirin. Grab a dragon and let's go."

"What! Why can't I ride with you?"

"Do you know how to drive one of those things?"

Goku takes a breath…and releases it. Of course he doesn't. He wouldn't know how to drive Hakuryuu either, and he knows Sanzo doesn't know how. The monk is scary behind the wheel; Goku would rather not think about how scary he might be behind reigns.

It isn't asked or discussed, riding assignments are simply expected. Sanzo sits behind Kougaiji—he doesn't care if he more often 'pairs' with Lirin, he is not riding with her—Goku therefore rides with his small counterpart, Hakkai politely slips in behind Yaone, and Gojyo hops on behind his brother. Hakuryuu flutters around overhead now, wanting to take flight for as long as his wings can stand it. He hasn't flown with any of his kind in…longer than he would ever be allowed to say.

"West?" Kougaiji asks with the barest hint of humor as he turns to Sanzo and glances at the other filled dragons behind them. Inside he is still screaming, but he has to believe a solution will present itself. Nii cannot win. He can't.

Sanzo decides against playful banter and simply nods, his expression grim and serious. With little else said the four very heavily laden dragons—and one miniature—take off into the clear blue sky, heading west.

-----

"How long's it take to get West this way?" Gojyo asks, surprised he doesn't have to speak much louder for his brother to hear him over the rushing wind and higher altitude.

Dokugakuji thingk a moment. "Traveling by air means we can fly right over the harsh terrain you guys would have had to drive around. Cutting to the castle directly like this…it's only a few hours."

"Shit, and we've been on the road for almost a year. Wish you guys would have picked us up sooner."

"You kidding?" Dokugakuji snorts. "There's no way you guys would have been ready for this fight back in the beginning. Hell, we wouldn't have been ready either. Everything happens for a reason, right?"

_And I sure as hell hope that's true about this damn spell too._

Gojyo laughs a little, hating to admit that he agrees one hundred percent with his brother. He wouldn't trade even the harder times on this journey for anything, because every last knick, cut, and bruise—to egos as well as bodies—led them to where they are now. Closer to each other than ever and on their way to the finish line.

"You know what, bro, I couldn't have said it better," Gojyo grins, turning his hold on his brother's waist into the barest hint of a hug. He passes it off like an unconscious shift, but he hopes his brother knows he's just chicken-shit and that he really meant it for what it was. "Still glad for the shortcut now," Gojyo adds.

"I agree." Sails Hakkai's voice from where he and Yaone are flying close by. The healer looks above him to where Hakuryuu is flapping madly to keep up. "I think Jiipu is missing his role a bit though. Hakuryuu!" he calls to the dragon. "Please don't strain yourself. You can rest if you need to."

There is an indignant chirp in reply, but after a few moments more Hakuryuu lowers himself onto Hakkai's shoulder and snuggles in. Hakkai smiles at his pet and reaches a hand to stroke the dragon's scales. A sudden jolt nearly unbalances him, however, and he returns both hands to Yaone's waist, clinging tightly. Both blush at the intimate contact and take turns ranting apologies until Gojyo and Dokugakuji's chuckling reaches them.

"How silly," Hakkai says, holding Yaone more loosely again and ignoring the laughing brothers off to his right. He lowers his voice to speak to Yaone, peering as best he can at her face though only the smallest bit of it is visible to him. "Miss Yaone…if it isn't too forward of me to ask…did you get the opportunity to…discuss anything with Kougaiji-san last night?"

Yaone starts a little, keeping her focus ahead on the horizon and forcing down the blush lingering even more brightly now. "I…I don't…I don't know what you…mean."

"Are you so certain of that?"

Yaone clenches her eye shut briefly, wishing she didn't have to open them again. "Hakkai-san…please. It's too…complicated."

"Oh, believe me, I understand complicated." The healer replies, his smile prominent enough to show in his voice. "Considering the relationships I've had, I really understand complicated. But I can tell you one thing, I do not regret loving those I have loved. I could never regret that. Though things were complicated and still are in many ways, I am happy knowing those I love knew of my love and know now. To leave this world with such a thing unspoken would be…too painful to imagine. I know there are many who would disagree with me, but…even if it is presumptuous of me to say, I get the feeling we think quite a bit a like in most things…Yaone."

There is silence from Yaone for a long time. Hakkai does not press further. When Yaone's next words concern the weather rather than Kougaiji, he still does not push, but his smile becomes very forced. He keeps his voice light for her sake and gives way to chit-chat, but a part of him aches for her, imagining only too easily how he could have ended up just like her. He had not been fully aware of deeper affections for Gojyo until the dreamworld, but they were there. At least now, even if things go horribly wrong, he knows he can die peacefully having openly loved his best friend for as long as they were given.

_I would say more, Hakkai-san, if I could. But…how can I confess or seek anything when I am not my true self. That evil man has made me a puppet. I want my own will when I finally tell my lord…just how much even the smallest gesture from him means to me. Though we fell asleep quite innocently at the window, I will hold the memory of his fingers twined in my hair…always._

Further ahead and following closely behind Sanzo and Kougaiji, Lirin expertly drives her dragon onward while Goku hangs onto her without reservation, feeling like he is on the best carnival ride ever invented. Their conversation consists mainly of jabs and light bickering, but the weight of the looming battle does not escape either of them.

Lirin, to her credit, does understand that something is off, that her thoughts do not completely correspond with her actions and words, and she knows Nii is to blame. But out of her companions she alone believes beyond a doubt that nothing bad will come of it, because, after all, they and Baldy's group are friends now. Why would anything go wrong?

"So…he's really your boyfriend? That's…weird."

"Why? What's wrong with having a boyfriend?"

"Nothin'. But…you're a boy too."

"So?"

"Ain't it…well…weird?"

Goku holds back a large grin. "Actually…it's kinda…awesome. Sanzo's a really good kisser now that it doesn't scare him so much anymore."

Lirin giggles. "Baldy was scared? Of kissing? What for?"

Goku tilts his head, thinking. He imagines it probably relates to Sanzo's whole hatred of touch thing, but doesn't want to go into all that with Lirin. "I guess…coz he'd never done it before. I mean…well…I hadn't either, but…I'm the one who went after him so…I couldn't afford to be scared. I had to make all the moves."

"That's so funny. You chasing after Sanzo." Lirin snorts. She turns back to look at Goku a moment and gives the monkey a wink. "Ha, I beat you. I've already had my first kiss, and I'm three years younger."

This information is not so much startling as it is highly unfair. "What? Who'd kiss you?" Goku says with a sneer.

"Plenty of people."

"Your brother doesn't count."

"Ew!"

"And Yaone and Dokugaku don't either."

"I don't mean them, jerk-face!" Lirin cries, purposely dipping the dragon to unsettle Goku in his seat. This proves to force Goku to clutch at Lirin more tightly, but Lirin just grins, triumphant. "Not all the guards and people in the castle are old like Niichan. Some aren't much older than me. There's a couple cute ones too. I've stolen tons of kisses. One even kissed me back, but he got all freaked when he thought Kougaiji was coming. Niichan scares off everyone."

Goku laughs. He never thought he would ever have the chance to talk about real, teenage problems with someone close to his age. But here he is, discussing with his old enemy and sometimes rival the pitfalls of romance. "Wow, I believe that. I bet Kougaiji's the way overprotective type. Sanzo's like that too. Even before we were together he always got extra pissy when girls hung around me. Most of the time I was in the temple so there were only other guys, but when we went into town and stuff…plenty of girls there liked me."

"I can see that. I mean, you're way cute."

Unconsciously, Goku tightens his hold on Lirin again, only this time more like a spasm. "You…think I'm…cute?"

"Course I do," Lirin says without hesitation, "You're just not as pretty as Sanzo. He's much cuter."

Goku groans. He knew there had to be some similarities between this Lirin and the dreamworld one. Besides, it is pretty hard not to fall for Sanzo. Goku knows that much firsthand. As long as Lirin knows to keep her hands to herself, Goku guesses he doesn't mind too much that Lirin thinks Sanzo is pretty. Who wouldn't?

The only dragon not involved in constant conversation about one thing or another is the one leader the pack. Kougaiji and Sanzo have spoken barely two words to each other since taking to the air.

The youkai prince is still contemplating every possible option for getting out of this and somehow foiling Nii's plan. Other than flipping the dragons over and plummeting everyone to the earth in some vain hope they survive, he has come up completely blank. If only his tongue would obey him. If only he could turn to Sanzo and tell the monk this whole thing is a trap.

He would sacrifice almost anything for just two words. _Turn back._ But he can't even have one.

"When we reach the castle we'll have to sneak in through a different way than where my group and I snuck out. Nii would expect us to break in the usual way."

"We'll follow your lead."

_Don't. I'm bringing you to your death. Or worse, knowing that bastard._

"You're positive you know which soldiers are on your side?" Sanzo asks.

"Aa. My men would not betray me."

_But soon I will betray you. I am truly sorry…Sanzo._

Kougaiji slips back into silence and Sanzo willingly follows suit. Lightly they can hear the conversations of their companions, though they cannot make out more than a few words. They each take solace in the buzzing din of familiar voices, Sanzo praying for success while Kougaiji prays for something, anything to stop them from reaching the castle.

With a blue sky ahead and no adversaries in sight, neither prayer seems likely to be answered.

-----

Reaching the castle proves completely uneventful. The sentinels positioned outside the castle wave to Kougaiji in greeting and make no move to call in a threat, though it must be clear to them that their prince bears the Sanzo-ikkou. Kougaiji says nothing but gives Sanzo a look that speaks anyway. See how my men are loyal, the prince seems to say. Sanzo chooses not to reply.

Following Kougaiji's lead, the group parks their dragons behind a gathering of rocks—where Hakuryuu is asked to keep watch, to the dragon's extreme dismay—and sneaks unseen towards a hidden door Kougaiji swears to know the location of though no one else can see anything but dirt and stone.

"It's there, in the ground. A quick spell makes it visible and then we'll be inside." Kougaiji explains.

Everyone is gathered around him, weapons already prepared and eager for a fight. Frantically, Kougaiji searches his brain for a way to stop what is soon to happen. He knows he can only speak what he would say if this wasn't a trap, so he tries his best to work with that loophole.

"Perhaps…we should hold off, plan a little harder about how we're going to work through the castle." He suggests. "The main and final target is without a doubt Nii. He is the most powerful, the most dangerous, of that I can assure you."

_At least I can be honest with that much._

"It would be foolish to rush in unprepared." Kougaiji finishes. His words are not all he wishes to say, but perhaps they will be enough.

"No."

Kougaiji feels his last effort crumbling around him with a single word from Sanzo.

"We go now." Sanzo continues, his expression firm and unwavering. "I don't care if you trust your men. People within the castle know we are here. There is no reason to believe Ukoku doesn't know as well. In fact…I am certain he does."

"I would have to agree." Hakkai supplies, casting a steady gaze at the looming castle so near them now. "Now that we have arrived, postponing our attack would be most disadvantageous. If this man is as powerful as everyone seems to believe, we must act quickly or abort."

Kougaiji flinches. Visibly. His head stings, but inside he is desperate to scream 'yes, abort, we must abort!' The spell upon him does not give him the power to cease the mission, though. He can only speak of strategy and what is best for the mission, not to end it.

While his hands are shaking from effort to say anything now, anything at all, his lips move against his will to speak the opposite of his desires.

"Then let's go. If we're all in agreement, we should move…now."

Everyone with him nods their assent. Kougaiji would scream, cry, and curse the very earth he is standing upon if he had the will. But his will has been robbed. He is lost. He is defeated. Nii…has already won.

Kougaiji begins the chant to illuminate the hidden door…just as Nii instructed him.

Hakkai takes this briefly granted moment to reach for Yaone's arm and squeezes it reassuringly, but also to get her attention. The next second he has released her and grabs Gojyo by the front of his white shirt to pull the kappa into a kiss. There are no reservations left in Hakkai. The end battle is about to begin.

Yaone watches the kiss with a sad kind of pleasure. It is a sweet sight, especially with how adorably unexpected it was for Gojyo. But still, Yaone can only turn to face forward in the end, knowing she cannot speak any confession while in her current state. She only hopes Hakkai will understand…if she ever has the chance to explain.

Seeing the interaction between Gojyo and Hakkai, Goku's head immediately hums with possibility. He sends Sanzo a smirk, but the monk huffs and turns away from him. Goku shrugs. He got his sweet sentiments the night before; he knows better than to expect public displays of affection now, even if they are about to head to their probable doom. It's enough that Sanzo briefly looks back at Goku and offers a look filled with all the emotion Sanzo refuses to express in the presence of others.

When Gojyo, free from Hakkai's clutches, turns to his brother and starts rambling out nonsense that can only lead to some ridiculously heartfelt shit, Sanzo feels a need to speak up. "Stop with the sentimentalities already." He growls, cocking his gun in preparation.

He gestures his head to the now revealed door where Kougaiji stands, waiting for the others to approach. Sanzo narrows his eyes—he is ready, utterly ready…to finally pay Ukoku back for all the things he stole from him.

"There is no way we're losing."

Nothing more leaves Sanzo's lips before he turns and heads for Kougaiji, prepared to descend into whatever depths of the castle he must, as long as all roads lead to Ukoku.

What he doesn't expect is just how true that is.

-----

_It's too late now. There's nothing we can do. Forgive me…_

_Oh, Kougaiji-sama, I know this is not what you wanted. I wish there was something…anything…_

_Damn it, Kou. Why does it have to end like this? Just when I get the chance to have both you and my brother in my life…why?_

_Niichan…I don't like this. Why do I feel so…scared?_

None of this can be voiced aloud as the Kougaiji-tachi and the Sanzo-ikkou travel the bowels of the castle. The passage they are in is narrow and dark, making it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of them at any given time. They speak little, and when they do it comes only in whispers. Kougaiji says the end should be soon. What he cannot tell them is that it really will be the end. The end of the line for all of them.

Sanzo and the others wonder why this passage is so clear, holding not even a single guard, but even the distrustful monk sets the oddity aside. It is easy to believe in Kougaiji's group. Too easy. And if Sanzo didn't have the most aggravating of feelings that something is _wrong_ he would not be nearly so on edge.

"Hey…do you see a light?" Goku's dimmed voice asks in the darkness, peering around from behind Sanzo.

The groups reach a small clearing in the passageway that opens up enough for them to no longer travel in single file. They spread themselves out. Though they have paused in the opening, the light Goku saw continues to move towards them. It is small and hovers in the air, bobbing ever so slightly as it approaches. For the longest time, no one can even guess what the traveling light might be, though they ready their weapons anyway.

When the light gives way to its owner, surprise at what it is does not hit the ikkou nearly as quickly as curiosity does—curiosity concerning why their new friends have suddenly grabbed onto their arms from behind, rendering them and their weapons useless.

The light…is a cigarette. The cigarette…belongs to a cruelly smirking mouth on the triumphant face of Nii. Ukoku Sanzo. The designer of it all.

"How nice of you to drop by." Nii says in greeting. He stops on the other side of the opening and his cigarette lights the space to show bare, blank walls.

The Sanzo-ikkou forgets at first to struggle. They expected Nii, but not betrayal. Not like this. Not from Kougaiji, Yaone, Dokugakuji, and Lirin. Not from their…friends.

When they finally do think to struggle and scream their efforts prove completely useless. The Kougaiji-tachi is unnaturally strong somehow and they no longer speak, not even when the ikkou is yelling accusations at them.

"Don't bother fighting." Nii says, taking a few solid steps closer. "It won't last much longer, but the dear prince and his followers are experiencing a slight power surge. Not even the strongest of you could hope to break their hold just now."

"You bastards…" Sanzo seethes at Kougaiji, madly wrenching his arms to break away despite any advice at its futility.

Goku is almost in tears. He doesn't want to believe this was all a trap. It can't be.

Gojyo snarls at his brother, promising to rip the older youkai's head off when he gets the chance. He is too angry to think of anything other than betrayal.

Hakkai barely struggles. His expression is wholly somber. He cannot understand how his intuitions could have been so wrong. "How could we not sense their intent?" he questions, more to himself than any of the others. The look of emptiness in Yaone's eyes disturbs him greatly, as well as her lack of voice—the whole group's lack of voice.

"Because…the intent has to exist to be sensed."

Hakkai snaps his attention to Nii. His friends, one by one, do the same. The truth dawns on them all, but it does little to help their situation now.

Gojyo swears.

Goku screams.

Sanzo vows revenge in a single word. "_You_…"

Nii takes a few more solid steps, step after step, until finally he is standing just in front of Sanzo. He cocks his head. From behind his back he produces his constant companion, the little stuffed bunny. "Welcome, little Koryuu." He makes the bunny say. "We've been waiting such a long time for you, that we have. You've kept us waiting for far too long." Nii lowers the bunny and holds it in one hand so that the other is free to reach for Sanzo's chin. He raises it, staring hard into fierce violet. "I don't like to be kept waiting." He says. "But now, dear little Koryuu, we have all the time in the world."

Before Sanzo can retort, Nii pulls away and there is a loud popping sound. Only Hakkai, who felt one of Yaone's hands release him, understands that it is one of her smoke bombs. He tries not to breathe in and tells the others to do the same, but unlike the time before this gas seems to seep into their pours. Fatigue overcomes them almost instantly. When the Kougaiji-tachi silently releases them, the entire ikkou crumbles to the floor, immobile and quickly falling unconscious.

Despite his hardest struggling, Sanzo feels the darkness overtaking him. And the last thing he hears before being unwillingly pulled into slumber is that man's voice—Ukoku's voice.

"The sun, hmm…? I think you may be wrong in the end, old friend. For now we begin…the real fun."

tbc...

A/N: Such a long Spring Break away from you and all I offer is this short chapter. I hope you like it anyway. Let's just say...things are about to come full circle in the parts ahead. I'm so excited. The climax of the story is at hand. Damn bastard Nii. Thanks for sticking with me all. As for those dear fans I missed (I always miss everyone) at Anime Detour, I apologize. I was Advent Children Tifa for the Cosplay masquerade and if you watched the competition, I was in a duo called Tifa vs Tifa with a friend dressed like regular Tifa. We won for Best Novice Performance. Yay! First time I've ever won something. After the con I went to Seattle for the first time with my friends and bought the Gaiden manga in Japanese, both volumes. Oh, will she ever finish enough of the story for a third? I hope so. I've read all that exists, even what's not yet in manga form, but I get impatient so easily.

Man, gotta get to bed. Thanks again all. I'll have more soon.

Crim


	17. Not Quite Right

Not Quite Right

* * *

Koryuu gasps, nearly dropping the rice cooker he had been moving from one counter to the other. He centers himself long enough to set the cooker down but is still very unsettled by…something. What was he doing a moment before? He was…cooking rice for breakfast, right? That would seem to be the case and yet…wasn't he doing something else?

Looking out over the kitchen and further into the living room he takes stock of his surroundings. The house looks as it should, maybe a little messier than usual but certainly not unlivable or out of the ordinary. But then…what could possibly be nagging at the back of the blonde's head like…a persistent voice?

"Kory?"

Koryuu furrows his brow, confused and angry at his confusion. Something is definitely off but the harder he tries to pin down what it is the further any explanation seems to get from him.

"Helloooo…anybody home in there?"

Suddenly, Koryuu snaps to attention and recognizes that the hand waving in front of his face belongs to a curious, giggling monkey. "Quit it," he tells the younger man, grabbing Goku's hands mid-motion and tugging him closer. He hadn't even noticed Goku sneak up on him but sight of the boy seems to banish those pesky feelings of wrongness. "Treat me like a kid again and I'll do the same to you." He says with a half-smile.

Goku laughs. "How is doing _this_," he says, waving his hand in front of Koryuu's face again, "treating you like a kid?"

"Because it makes me seem as easily distracted as _you_, monkey-brat, and we all know that isn't the case."

Gold eyes roll in humored disbelief. "Whatever, Kory. You were totally spaced out. What's your deal? Didn't get enough sleep last night?"

"Maybe." Koryuu says slowly, thinking on the word and not really agreeing with its use. He doesn't have any other word to use though. He shakes his head, grinning, and tugs Goku close enough to wrap his arms around the monkey's waist. "If I am sleepy, we both know who's to blame for keeping me up." Still grinning, Koryuu dips down to capture Goku's lips.

A bell goes off in Koryuu's head. Was it always this easy to capture a kiss?

"When'd you get so tall?"

"What?" Goku chuckles, thinking this question the stupidest reason for interrupting a kiss. "I've been this tall forever. Well over a year anyway, after that last growth spurt. I thought it would never come. It's supposed to be the 18-year-old growth spurt not when you're almost _19_."

18-year-old? Koryuu's thoughts catch on that number. 18…? Isn't Goku…18? He looks hard at the monkey in his arms, the monkey far too close to eye level with him as far as he is concerned, and studies every smooth pour and dimple on Goku's face. No, Goku is 20. Koryuu knows Goku is 20. Why would he suddenly think Goku is two years younger?

"There you go again." Goku says with a snort. He very purposely waves his hand in front of Koryuu's face again. "I'll stop treating you like a kid when you stop spacing. What's up? You sure nothing's wrong, Kory?"

Kory. Kory…

"Kory?"

"I…it's…nothing. Don't worry about it." Koryuu says finally, shaking his head as if a liter of water is clogged in his hear. He almost thinks his vision is faulty too but he knows the sights in front of him are real and right. What else would they be? "You better eat quick so we can go." He says, trying his best to smile normally. "I want to walk with you, but I'll gladly leave your ass behind if you make me late for class."

Goku sticks out his tongue. "Meany." He says. And for a moment Koryuu feels a little more comfortable, though he doesn't really understand why. He shouldn't feel uncomfortable in the first place.

The pair hurriedly eats a bit of rice and the last of the sweet bean buns, which Koryuu swears he will pick up more of before returning home in the afternoon. Goku grabs a bag full of supplies so he and Koumyou can go over blueprints and ideas for the work the young brunette will be doing on the temple. Koryuu grabs his schoolbag. Before leaving the house, Koryuu takes a long once over of the living room, almost as if he doesn't really remember what it is supposed to look like.

He really wishes he could shake this feeling that something is wrong, but time is short and he and Goku have to get moving. When Goku finally yells for Koryuu to hurry up, the blonde obeys, shutting the door behind him.

The first step out into the sunshine has Koryuu feeling instantly better and he walks close to Goku, slipping an arm around the younger man's waist. Something about the fine weather, the promise of a good day's work, and having his dearest treasure tight beside him makes the whole world feel a little lighter. Almost as if…nothing bad could ever happen here. Not to him. Not to _them_.

Koryuu smiles to himself brightly—easily. Amidst his and Goku's leisure pace, he even begins to hum. The song comes to him with little thought, but there is the smallest nagging at the back of his mind wondering where he could have learned it. He doesn't…remember learning any songs…does he?

"Are you listening to me?"

"Huh? What, Goku?"

"You're still acting a little weird, Koryuu, and you're hanging on pretty tight." Goku says with a worried tone and scrunched up eyes. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

Koryuu adjusts his grip on Goku, suddenly self-conscious of his actions and behavior. He doesn't mean to be acting out of the ordinary. He vows to ignore whatever this strange feeling is so he can return to admiring the day. Yes. That sounds right.

He turns his head to kiss Goku's temple. Yes. _Right_. This is…right.

"I'm fine. Just distracted. Don't worry so much." Koryuu says with a gentle smile.

When Goku looks up at him seemingly pacified and grins, Koryuu feels a bit better again. They chat the remainder of the trip to the schoolhouse, walking side by side now since obvious public displays of affection should at least be reserved for somewhere indoors.

Koryuu sees the first of his students arriving for the day and they wave at him and Goku, some shouting out 'good mornings' to them both. All the students know Goku, of course, since he has been invited to class many times (and invited himself many other times if only to overhear stories or Koryuu singing).

When they get a little closer to the school, a particularly bouncy little brunette runs up to Koryuu and tugs on his sleeve as if whatever he has to tell his teacher is the most important information in all the world.

"Sensei! Sensei!" the boy cries, tugging again on Koryuu's sleeve. "Kaasan said I got every question on the homework right! First time ever! No mistakes!"

"That's wonderful, Akira. I kept telling you that you could do it as long as you tried your best." Koryuu replies in an even and appeasing voice. He reaches out and ruffles the messy brown hair. "Tell you what, you can be the first to choose free time today, all right?"

Little Akira's eyes brighten, so wide and happy the sun shines in them and turns their warm brown almost gold. "You're the best, Sensei!" And in a flurry of little arms and legs, Akira rushes inside the schoolhouse to join his friends.

Koryuu stands still a moment, disturbed for reasons he can't understand. Akira has always reminded him a bit of Goku, but…today…for some reason, the child's smaller stature and extra bouncy nature…seems to remind him of…someone else. Someone…he doesn't…

"Spacing out again? This could be serious."

Goku. It's just…Goku. Yes, that's who Akira…reminds him…of.

"If you don't snap to it, Koryuu, I'm gonna kiss you in front of all your students and piss off their parents."

Koryuu snaps to it. He raises an eyebrow at Goku as if to challenge that remark. "Most of them wouldn't care anyway, and you'd probably just make all the little girls squeal in delight knowing some of their older sisters."

Goku snorts. "Well, if it'd make their day…" he says with a sly grin.

And, quick as always, Koryuu swoops in to plant a very simple smooch to Goku's _forehead_ before heading quickly for the door of the classroom. He hears Goku's half-humored grumbles but only turns back when he reaches the door. "You're picking me up today, right? Four o'clock? Better not be late, monkey, or there's no way I'm picking up those sweet bean buns for you on the way home."

"Nah uh, you're picking _me_ up, remember? Koumyou said he really wanted you to stop by so I'm gonna work til you get to the temple." Goku replies, and then adds with a wider smile, "And we _better_ pick up those buns on the way home."

Koryuu pauses a minute, registering this. He honestly doesn't remember anything about being summoned to the temple, but he chalks it up to how out of it he has been all day and figures he just forgot. "Whatever. I'll see you later either way. Behave yourself at the temple okay? Those monks can get pretty uptight."

"Don't I know it. Good thing _you_ never became one."

"What?"

Something in that last line gives Koryuu even more pause than his forgetfulness. But as if he hadn't heard him, Goku is already heading up the path to continue on towards Kinzan Temple. Koryuu doesn't call after him, but his mind is still fuzzy and nagging. He really wishes he knew what it was trying to tell him.

All of his students are inside now and he knows he has to go in to start class. The little things that seem to be bothering him _shouldn't_ be bothering him, of that Koryuu is certain. So, resolute, he shakes his head and steps across the threshold of the schoolhouse to start the day. Whatever is tugging at his brain and insides will surely present itself later or eventually pitter off. If he is having this much trouble pinning down what is bothering him then it can't be anything too important.

No, when Koryuu really thinks about it, he can't come up with a single thing in his life right now that isn't exactly how it should be.

-----

Gojyo shuts the fridge. He opens it. He shuts it again. He pauses. Thinks. Opens the fridge. What was he doing again? For the life of him he cannot remember what he meant to look for. In fact, he can't really remember when he came to the fridge in the first place or even when he came into the kitchen. He and Gonou must have drunk a little more than he realized last night.

Last night? What happened last night? He…thinks he remembers…doesn't he?

Rubbing his eyes with both hands, Gojyo tries to clear his head. It isn't that early. He shouldn't be this out of it. He rubs his eyes a little harder and suddenly flinches. He wasn't paying enough attention and jabbed the tips of his claws into his skin. He hisses a little and hopes the act doesn't leave behind any marks.

As he starts to lower his hands again, Gojyo finds himself becoming mesmerized with them, with his…claws. He scratched himself with his _claws_. He has always had claws, of course, so they shouldn't be so fascinating. But for some reason they look…longer than they should be. Yes, that's it. He probably hasn't filed them in a while. He'll have to be sure and take care of that later.

"Shit, I'm already running late."

Gojyo spins around. The sudden entrance of his lover really threw him off, and the strange thing is that what threw him off was hearing Gonou say 'shit' so casually. It shouldn't be all that strange. Gonou doesn't swear much, but the brunette really could care less what others think of him and certainly doesn't care if he lets slip the occasional curse word. Just so long as none of his students are around.

"Did you find anything, Gojyo?" Gonou asks, looking frazzled and hurried as he runs a hand through long brown hair. When Gojyo doesn't respond he stares hard at his youkai companion and narrows naked green eyes. "Gojyo? Are you awake? I asked you to check for anything quick to eat for breakfast? I have to get going."

"Huh…oh. Yeah, I…looked, but…I…" Gojyo shakes his head. He is awake, so why is his head reeling. "Sorry, babe, I can't even remember if there was a light on when I opened the door. Let me look again." Gojyo turns back to the fridge, opens it, and immediately closes it. "Probably didn't remember anything coz there's nothing inside. Weren't you the one who was supposed to pick up groceries this week?"

Rummaging through the cupboards for anything remotely quick and edible, Gonou laughs to himself and pointedly avoids meeting Gojyo's eyes. "Goodness, was it my week? You know we really should rethink that fine schedule you made so I don't forget. Why don't you pick up groceries this week and I'll take up the slack when we figure things out."

Gojyo knows this game. "Nice try. You're not getting out of it, you lazy son of a bitch. I practically have to kick your ass to get you to pick up after yourself. I'm not letting you turn me into a housewife."

"But you make such a cute one." Gonou purrs, holding an apple in one hand now while the other reaches around, grabs Gojyo's ass, and pulls the youkai's tight against him. "Besides, whatever would you do if you didn't have cute little me to take care of."

"Sleep, eat, and work. All the things I forget to do with the amount of sex you force on me." Gojyo's words may sound scolding, but he is wearing the most pleased smile imaginable. There is the tiniest apple crumb on Gonou's lip from the quick bite the brunette manages to take, and those slightly parted lips are also deliciously damp and…damn. "You're right. I don't know what I'd do. Probably die from boredom and a starved libido. Come here already." Gojyo grabs onto Gonou's ass with both hands and pulls their groins even tighter together while diving in for a morning kiss.

The kiss is amazing. Gojyo can't get much beyond that thought. But when he slowly slides his hands up Gonou's body, gently adding pressure with his claws, and slips under Gonou's button-down shirt to feel warm skin under his palms, he finds himself frozen at the first touch of Gonou's stomach.

The skin is just so…smooth. Perfectly smooth. Too smooth.

"I'd say don't stop there, but if I don't get out of this house in the next five seconds, I'll be late for class." Gonou whispers between their mutually dampened lips. He removes Gojyo's hands from under his shirt and pulls back, offering a quick wink. He doesn't seem to notice at first how Gojyo is so unsettled. "Teenagers do not forgive such things, you know. One sign of weakness and they'll all be showing up late to spite me. See you later? You have the early shift tonight, right, so you should be home around seven?"

"Uhhh…yeah."

"Gojyo? Is anything the matter?"

"Umm…I don't…think so, but…hn. Ask me again later, baby, okay? I think I woke up wrong today or somethin'. My head's playing tricks on me."

A wicked grin takes hold of Gonou's features. "Oh?" he says, evil intent dripping from his words. There is a definite squeak from Gojyo when Gonou reaches between the youkai's legs and presses—hard. "My, my…it must be playing tricks on you…because I'm afraid I have to go and it's just going to have to wait until tonight." If possible, Gonou's grin turns even more lewd and wicked before the man is suddenly gone, apple in hand, grabbing his briefcase from off the kitchen table to head for work.

"You fucking tease." Gojyo calls after him, half-smiling and half feeling very neglected. He vows to have Gonou make up for this later. And the best part is he knows Gonou _will_.

"See you tonight, Gojyo!"

"Yeah, yeah. And don't forget to pick up groceries, smart-ass!" Gojyo yells, even as the kitchen door is already swinging shut behind Gonou and the brunette is moving swiftly for the front of the house.

A muffled and very half-hearted reply sounds back to Gojyo. The youkai already plans to pick up groceries himself and both of them know it. Strangely enough, it doesn't upset Gojyo in the least. He loves Gonou just the way he is.

Gojyo doesn't have to be at work until after lunch—the bar doesn't open until late afternoon. Normally he prefers the evening shift because that is when he actually gets to do the things he loves—host, bartend, and mingle with his customers. The early shift is mainly preparation for the day, inventory, and odd jobs, but one of the owners has to be there for each shift if not both. Gonou made him promise he would alternate taking the late shift so they would still have some evenings to spend together. Gojyo didn't protest.

Trying his best to put the strange feelings he has been having out of his mind, Gojyo heads out of the kitchen, not feeling all that hungry, and decides a shower sounds very appealing right now. Before he can reach the bathroom, however, the phone starts to ring. This seems strange to Gojyo since it is still fairly early but he immediately goes to answer it.

"Gojyo." He says, and then adds, "What crazy asshole calls this early?"

Gojyo thinks better of his phrase when he hears the voice on the other end. "Did I teach you to talk that way, young man." Says his mother, sounding as fierce as always. "Watch your language. And what should it matter how early I call? You should not be wasting your days away. You should be up doing something with yourself, though I don't know if that bar of yours is anything I'd call productive."

Any possible comebacks or responses fall out of Gojyo's head. It's just his mother, his mother's voice, his mother's tone. Why does it send such a deep, shivering chill down his spine?

"Gojyo?" his mother asks, sounding perhaps slightly concerned now. "Don't be bitter, you know I don't mean to harp on you. Jien tells me the bar is doing well, at any rate. Thank goodness you have your brother around for a little common sense in your life. Now, why haven't you come to visit me lately? You know I can't stand to be apart from you both this long."

"Dang it, Ma, I…I just…been so busy, I guess. You know I mean to visit whenever I can," Gojyo forces out, still struggling to clear his head. It's starting to get on his nerves how much little things are unsettling him today. "I've been trying to wait for a time I can bring Gonou along, ya know, so you can finally meet him."

The other end of the line is silent for a moment. "That…human boy? You're still living with him?"

Gojyo rolls his eyes, happy his mother cannot see it. "Yes, Ma. You know I am. We've been together over a year now and you haven't even--"

"It's bad enough Jien is still seeing that woman, but you as well, and…dating another man at that. Whatever happened to all those nice youkai women you used to see so often?"

"Mother," Gojyo starts, stressing the title like a curse. "It wasn't only youkai women, and it wasn't only women back then either. We've been over this. Can't it be enough that I'm with someone I love and who makes me happy?"

"Of course, dear." The woman replies, truly sounding genuine in her answer. Though her words can be harsh her voice turns supremely gentle and caring as she speaks on. "All I would ever ask for is your happiness, Gojyo, yours and Jien's. You know that. Would you at least come see me some time today? I really would like to talk with you, it's been so long. You know how much I love you, Gojyo."

Another knot tightens in Gojyo's throat. But why? Of course his mother loves him. She can be suffocating and a little overprotective, but she loves him. After all, he is her son.

All mothers love their children.

"I'll…duck out of work as early as I can, Ma, okay?" he says, scratching his claws behind his ear and absently fingering the ear all the way to its point after that, as if he doesn't remember ever really running his hands over it before.

"You love your mother, don't you, Gojyo?" the youkai woman asks, as she always does before allowing the conversation to end.

"I love you, Ma." Gojyo replies, meaning it from the deepest part of him. It seems to be the only thing he has said all morning that doesn't feel somewhat out of place. "I'll be over this afternoon. Promise."

"All right. See you then, dear. Goodbye."

"Bye, Ma."

Gojyo holds the phone to his ear long after his mother has hung up. He tells himself he is just being silly for feeling so strange. He puts the phone down and heads into the bathroom like he planned, more than ready for a long, cold shower. He just needs to wake up more, that's it. That has to be it.

The only thing that he lingers on before putting all thoughts of strangeness out of his mind is that his reflection…has got to be one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen. The fact that it feels like this is the first time he has ever really seen it is quickly forgotten.

-----

Gonou feels the rush of water like being shocked with electricity. The water is warm, the perfect temperature, but that it is striking his skin at all is what takes him by surprise. He is not soaped up but there is a bit of soap gathering at the drain that tells him he must have been covered in suds a few moments ago. Since Gonou always washes his face and hair first he figures he must be nearly done with his shower then, but…why can't he remember stepping into it in the first place?

Turning his body so that he is facing the spray of water, Gonou plunges his head under the spout, soaking his face and hair again. Though the water is warm, and he likes the soothing feel of it, he hopes this act will reawaken his senses a little.

Being so focused on waking up and clearing his jumbled thoughts has him completely oblivious to the bathroom door opening, the sound of a falling robe, and the pulling back of the shower curtain. Gonou nearly jumps a mile when a cool hand slides up his back. He practically slams his head into the nozzle. When he quickly turns to assess his attacker, he falls back against the tile of the wall and instantly…feels very foolish for flinching.

"Gojyo," he gasps, hand reaching up to clutch at his chest. "Please try and make a little more noise next time. You scared the hell out of me." Gonou catches himself on his words. That last sentence flowed out of him easily, but it sounded strange to his ears as if he normally would never say something like that. But…of course he would.

"Jumpy? You?" Gojyo asks, hardly believing such a thing to be possible. The youkai is completely naked, like Gonou, and though he is mostly dry, his hair is sleep-tousled and very alluring as it falls into vibrant blue eyes.

Gonou studies those eyes and the short dark hair of his friend. He studies the elongated ears, the claws, the glint of fangs so easily bared through Gojyo's grin. Gojyo is handsome and wild-looking as always and yet…Gonou cannot seem to banish a feeling of irregularity.

"Hey…you okay?" Gojyo asks him, reaching one of those clawed hands through the water spray between them to grab onto Gonou and pull him away from the wall. He helps Gonou duck his head around the water, causing it to spray down the brunette's shoulder and chest. Gojyo's grin widens a little. "Damn, you sure are sexy all wet like this. We should try for the whole joint shower thing more often, doncha think?"

"Did you get a haircut?"

"Huh?" Gojyo is rightly confused by such a strangely timed question since he had just been about to claim his companion's lips in a heated kiss. "Like over a month ago, yeah, but not lately. Why? I look funny today?"

"Not at all." Gonou assures. "I think I'm just seeing things differently today."

With that Gonou mirrors Gojyo's recently lost smirk and takes over the trek to meet mouths. He feels the most delicious rush at leading things onward. He is usually the one to make moves, after all, but it feels…different today, just as he said. He is seeing _and_ feeling things differently. Even kissing Gojyo with his usual force and dominance feels like something…new. Or at least like something he doesn't do very often.

The kissing between the pair heats up without much added effort; libidos high and attraction solidified, it takes very little for Gonou and Gojyo to become aroused by one another. Soon, Gonou is pulling Gojyo under the water with him, getting both of them wonderfully slippery and wet. Their bodies slide and move against each other with help from the water. Breathing picks up pace. Eyes glaze over. Gojyo moans. Gonou…gets a rather wicked idea and starts to reach for his left ear…

…before freezing halfway to it. What was he doing that for? He finishes his hand's journey and uses it as an excuse to push some of his long hair out of his eyes. Yes, that must have been why he moved as he did. What other reason could there be?

"Mmmm…Gojyo…this…feels so wonderful, but…I have to get to class soon. I can't afford to be late."

Gojyo nuzzles his face against Gonou's neck and nips lightly with sharpened teeth. "You always say that…"

"I often mean it, you know."

"We can be quick…" Gojyo promises, and presses forward suddenly, pushing them both back against the tiled wall and grinding his hips against Gonou's. With the wetness between them, a series of mutual pumps is all they would need to reach a very pleasing end to this shared shower. "Come on, Gonou, don't leave me wanting…you know I can't take it."

Gonou is motionless against the wall. Gojyo's hips still move against his, but Gonou is static. He knows his name. He knows who he is. But then…why did hearing Gojyo call him by the name he has had all his life…feel so _wrong_.

"Gonou…! Shit!"

Seeing as how Gojyo is thoroughly enjoying himself, Gonou thinks it rather foolish for him not to join in. He does have one small thing to correct though.

Gojyo is soon pressed back into the tiled wall instead of Gonou, though how the human managed to flip him and his youkai partner with such ease is a constant mystery.

Back to his senses, Gonou gives as good as he had been getting, thrusting against Gojyo in the most primitive search for release. All they need is friction and it is easy with water all around them to slick their bodies and a hard surface behind them. Gonou holds onto Gojyo's forearms tightly, their faces pressed cheek to cheek. Gojyo's claws dig ever so slightly into Gonou's hips but the human hardly minds. He likes the feel of Gojyo holding him there, despite the occasional prick.

One thing that does feel completely and utterly perfect is their shared release. Gonou certainly has no out of place feelings revolving around that. He figures the rest of his unease this morning must be due to temporary insanity that Gojyo can always cure.

When the pair finally disentangle themselves long enough to leave the shower, finish getting ready for the day, and stumble their way—playfully pocking at each other all the while—into the kitchen, everything feels much more as it should be. Gonou has no idea why he felt so strange.

They make breakfast together, just a few simply thrown together things, but Gonou feels antsy, knowing he has to be out the door in just a few short minutes.

Casting his gaze about the kitchen, the overflowing garbage can catches Gonou's attention. "That is disgusting. I'll empty it before I leave." The brunette mentions, quite offhandedly, and then rises from the kitchen table to make good on his word.

"You feeling sick or somethin'?" Gojyo asks, still seated, and looking at Gonou as if the other man must have totally lost it.

Gonou slows his steps on the way to the trash. He pauses, staring at the piled garbage, and looks back at Gojyo with his mouth half-hanging open. "I hate cleaning. I avoid it at every possible turn. I prefer order to chaos not order to order."

A dark eyebrow raises and blue eyes narrow. "Yeah…couldn't have said it better there, baby. So why the hell are you volunteering to take out the trash. Not that I mind, though, husband _dearest_." This endearment is spoken dripping with sarcasm, Gojyo now sporting a crooked smirk.

Gonou cannot return the smile. The urge in him to be helpful and pick up has faded, but where had it come from? It's such a silly, insignificant thing, but so out of character that Gonou doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe he really is losing his mind today.

"Geez, man, calm down. You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

"Is everybody up and dressed or do I get a free peep show this morning!"

Gonou and Gojyo both turn to the kitchen door and watch as it swings open with the entrance of a very lovely, smiling, luminous brunette who looks remarkably like Gonou in several ways.

Kanan tosses her long hair over her shoulder, free from its usual loose braid, and snatches an apple from the table where Gojyo is still sitting. "Did I miss something?" she asks, returning Gonou's very disturbed look. Her brother is staring at her with something between horror and confusion. "Gonou…? You okay?"

"Yeah, babe, you sure you're not coming down with something?" Gojyo adds. The youkai rises from the table now and approaches Gonou cautiously, like approaching some timid wild animal.

With both Gojyo and Kanan in his sights, Gonou feels suddenly nauseous. He can't explain it but something in the youkai features of his lover and the sheer simple beauty of his sister has him glued to the floor and gaping. He really needs to get a hold of himself. He knew Kanan was coming to pick him up today so they could walk into town together. She always walks with him on Mondays. But then…why…why does this feel so hauntingly surreal?

"Gonou…?"

"I…I'm fine, Gojyo. I think."

"You think?" Kanan jumps in, just as concerned now and also taking a few steps closer to her suddenly pale brother. "You better stay home today, Gonou. You look like you're about ready to faint."

"No, no, don't be silly. I'm just…I don't know what I am." Shaking his head a few times, Gonou looks back up at Gojyo and Kanan and studies them. Really studies them. Hard as he tries he cannot come up with any reason why the sight of them made him feel so strange. He must not have slept very well last night. "Forget it. Really. I just need a little fresh air and we should be heading off to work now anyway. Right, Kanan? Let's go."

Gojyo and Kanan watch a little skeptically as Gonou determinedly steps passed them both and heads into the living room. They follow. Gonou grabs his briefcase from where he had set it beside the couch and turns back to them. The more he thinks on it, the more he…really likes having both of them in his line of sight.

He grins. "Worried? About me? Out of the three of us I think we all know who can best take care of themselves."

"Yeah." Kanan says with a nod and a teasing smile. "_Me_. Now move your ass or we'll be late." With another toss of her hair, Kanan turns to offer Gojyo a kiss on the cheek and then breezes very swiftly past her brother, retrieving her own briefcase from beside the front door.

Gonou takes his time walking over to Gojyo so he can offer his own goodbye kiss. They grin at each other, awkwardness forgotten, and happily give Kanan a bit of the show she otherwise missed. Everything is as it should be. Gonou does indeed have to admit that.

-----

Goku blinks his eyes a few times, trying to rid them of sleep. He feels especially groggy this morning as if he didn't sleep at all. He gets the feeling he had several very strange dreams but can't remember a single one. He usually doesn't remember his dreams so it doesn't both him all that much. What he often does remember is a particular feeling. The particular feeling this time is definitely a feeling that something was very, very wrong in his dreams. Goku doesn't like this feeling.

Snuggling closer to the warm body next to him, Goku grins against Koryuu, digging his nose into the blonde's shoulder. He loves everything about how Koryuu smells in the morning. He digs in his nose again. He could lie forever next to Koryuu.

Lifting his head a little, Goku looks down into Koryuu's face to check if the older man is still sleeping. He appears to be, eyes gently closed and breathing even. The blonde has got to be the most radiant thing Goku has ever seen. He reaches over and plays his fingers through Koryuu's bangs, brushing them back a little. The smooth, white skin on Koryuu's forehead looks a little funny to Goku, though he doesn't know why. Koryuu's skin has always been flawless and pale, why should his brow give him pause today?

Goku places a kiss to that naked brow. Maybe he's just preoccupied with what rests on his own head. He touches a hand to his gold coronet even as he is thinking that. Koryuu is human. Koryuu doesn't need a limiter. Of course, none of their youkai friends wear limiters either. But Goku's is different. Goku's is special.

Goku's is necessary.

While the monkey is still thinking a little too intensely on his diadem, he misses how Koryuu silently starts to stir. Violet eyes are soon looking up at Goku though the brunette remains distractedly unaware.

"Whatever you're thinking about it must be ridiculously interesting." Koryuu smiles, loving the adorably surprised look he gets from Goku when the monkey looks down at him. Koryuu reaches up to stroke Goku's smooth, tan cheek. "It _must_ be interesting to have you looking so intense this early in the morning. You okay?"

Goku hates bringing up his limiter, since he knows the whole mess disturbs Koryuu just as much as it disturbs him, so he thinks better about telling the complete truth. "I was just trying to figure out what my dreams were about last night. I can't remember them again, but I feel like they were important."

"You always think they were important."

"Coz they probably are!"

"And how do you know if you can never remember anything about them?"

"I remember that they're important. That's enough."

Koryuu laughs. He never gets tired of Goku-logic. "All right. I give. Don't strain yourself too much thinking about dreams though. The real world is pretty nice too, you know, and I prefer you here in reality. With me."

The pout that had formed on Goku's face fades into a pleased smile. Goku forgets he had thought anything felt weird about today. He snuggles a little closer to Koryuu and lies down so that they are facing each other, both heads sharing a single pillow. "I like being here too." Goku says. "You sure you don't mind reality though? There's nothing you'd change?"

"Like what?" Koryuu asks, his smile twitching, wondering if Goku means to say there is something the monkey considers missing from their lives.

Goku notices the twitch. "Don't worry. I think things are perfect. But ya know…I wonder sometimes…if…well, if maybe you wish you hadn't got stuck with me so quick. We were pretty young when we got together, right? You missed out on a lot of dating."

"So did you. And quite a bit more than me."

"Maybe. But I'm a lost cause. There never could have been anyone other than you."

All the humor in Koryuu's face gives way to pure bliss. If Goku didn't know better he would almost think his lover was about to cry from an overabundance of joy. But Koryuu would never do that. The blonde just beams, face luminous with such a beautiful smile and soft expression.

"So I guess that means you're happy, huh? Even tied down with little, annoying me?" Goku asks, only half-joking to be completely honest. He can't help feeling a little self-conscious once in a while.

At first Koryuu doesn't say anything in response, simply staring back at Goku. He is still beaming though his smile is dimmer, like he is thinking very hard about something. When he does finally open his mouth, what leaves him isn't anything like what Goku expected to hear.

The first sung note out of Koryuu's mouth has Goku tingly and shocked to the core.

_I'm not a river or a giant bird  
That soars to the sea  
And if I'm never tied to anything  
I'll never be free_

Hearing Koryuu sing shouldn't affect him so strongly. After all, Goku has heard Koryuu sing often, almost once a day since the blonde loves to raise his voice in song. Most of the time he even starts off karaoke night at Gojyo and Jien's bar just to make sure the patrons get a little entertainment before all the drunks start taking their turns.

_I wanted magic shows and miracles  
Mirages to touch  
I wanted such a little thing from life  
I wanted so much  
_

When he is singing, everything about Koryuu seems to expand. The affection on his face, the glow in his hair, the light in his eyes, his entire presence. It grows around Goku and envelopes him like the sweetest embrace. Right now, hearing Koryuu sing so softly to him while they lie in bed, Goku feels like he is hearing his lover's voice for the first time.

_I never came close, my love  
We nearly came near  
It never was there  
I think it was here_

Never there? It's…here…?

"Goku…are you okay? You're…crying?" Koryuu is concerned now, his singing ceased. He brushes away the few tears that have fallen to rest on Goku's cheeks. "I didn't mean to make you upset, I thought…I was just…"

"It…it's not…that." Goku says, his voice still betraying how Koryuu's singing affected him. "You just sound so pretty when you sing. And…something about those…words, I…I don't really know, but…I…I just…I really love you, you know?" Goku's nose is buried in Koryuu's shoulder before he even finishes his little rant. He clings to Koryuu, holding as tight as he can. He doesn't know why he feels so frightened and desperate, but part of him feels like Koryuu is somehow just out of his reach.

Part of him…feels like he is suddenly caged in the mountain again, waiting for his savior to come for him.

But…his savior is right here. He doesn't need to be afraid anymore. "I'm…I'm sorry, Koryuu." Goku whimpers, clinging just the smallest bit tighter. Much as he tries to banish his feelings of something being so horribly _wrong_, he fears Koryuu disappearing more.

"Don't be sorry." Koryuu whispers against his hair, kissing his head and holding him back with a sure and strong hold. "Next time I get it in my head to break into song, I'll run it by you first."

"No way!" Goku protests, head up and eyes wild as he looks down at Koryuu and shakes his head. "Spontaneous song is the best! Don't ever stop doing that, okay? I like you just the way you are, and I don't ever want you to change."

"Not ever? That's a tall order." Koryuu says, a humorous gleam in his eyes as he sets about teasing his monkey a little. "I'm bound to get old one day though. I'll probably end up bitter and cynical about everything. Would you still love me then?"

Goku furrows his brow. "You could never be like that." But even as he says this he feels a light pang in his chest. He doesn't know why or where the pang comes from, but it nags at him just like his feeling of wrongness keeps nagging. "It doesn't matter, coz no matter what you're like, I'll still love you. Always. Coz…coz…you'll always be _you_."

"You too?"

"Course! Why would I change?"

Koryuu shakes his head and laughs. He can't imagine anything that could make Goku change. And he dearly hopes that thought is (and stays) true.

"Hey, Kory?" Goku starts, snuggling in again—it is still a little earlier than they need to get up, even if they both have work today. "Will you sing me the rest of that song?"

Old as Goku is now, when he looks up at Koryuu with those big golden eyes and pleads like a small child, no matter what the request, Koryuu always crumbles. "Sure." He says, and sets off right away.

Goku doesn't get teary-eyed this time. He focuses on Koryuu's voice rising and falling so beautifully. Koryuu's voice is such a smooth baritone, but he can sing high too and he hits a few notes that give Goku chills. The young brunette feels much better about everything now and Koryuu singing doesn't make him feel so strange. He really doesn't know what came over him before.

_I think it was here  
'Cause it never was there_

Goku looks down at his body and realizes just how strange it feels to him. He feels like he grew too inches overnight. Although the thought is a little unnerving at first, he finds that Koryuu's singing helps him forget all the little doubts and worries that keep rising up in him over his sense of wrongness.

By the time Koryuu has finished the rest of the song, Goku is positive everything is absolutely…perfect.

-----

"Hahahaha…amazing really, how easy it is to bend others to one's will. And in the end…they really will have so much more to lose."

tbc...

A/N: Bet you didn't see this coming, though you should have. I said I would return to the dreamworld, remember? At any rate, I would say more, but I have to run to practice. Always happy to give you a quick update and and long chapter. Next chapter...things get even more interesting. I can tell you there will be at least 5 (maybe 6) more parts AND an epilogue. So...it's not going to be over too soon. Catch you again soon, minna!

Crim


	18. Perfect

Perfect

* * *

"I don't understand, Doctor Nii. What does this accomplish?"

"Hmm? It seems rather obvious to me, Hwan-san."

"You put each of them in their own private prison, each one just different enough from the others, but I don't see how this is much punishment. Aren't they living out their greatest dreams and desires?"

"Exactly."

"I still don't understand."

"Tell me, my dear, can you imagine anything more painful than being given everything you ever dreamed of…only to have it ripped away?"

"Doctor…?"

"Hahaha. Pay close attention now. You'll see soon enough."

-----

Perfect. The day couldn't be any closer to perfect now that Koryuu has finally banished all those pesky feelings of displacement. Nothing is wrong and there is no reason for him to feel otherwise. He feels amazingly light and calm, perhaps more so than he has in a long time, and he prefers focusing on that rather than feelings of insecurity and wrongness.

Teaching the youngest level of students is Koryuu's bliss. He blames Goku for his love of children, and perhaps Gonou a bit since the brunette had often talked of being a teacher too. Gonou, however, opted for teenage students in the end. Regardless of why, Koryuu loves his job now. He loves the happy faces—even the glum or pouting faces—and strives to give each and every child in his class as many moments of "sunshine" as he can. At least that's what Goku calls it.

Finding little ways to make every lesson fun for all of the children, and often fun for himself as well, Koryuu truly excels at what he does.

"Break for lunch then. Be back on time, everyone, and those of you heading home please be careful." Koryuu dismisses the class with his usual bright smile, accepting the cheers and waves with a feeling of accomplishment he…can't imagine getting doing anything else.

When the last of the children has headed out the door to either eat their lunch in the sunshine or dash further town to eat at home, Koryuu heads for his desk to retrieve the lunch he packed for himself. Normally, he would go home as well, but since he knows Goku will be up at the temple all day, the prospect of heading all the way back to their house just to eat in silence has very little appeal.

It is unfortunate then that when he opens his bag he discovers that he forgot one tiny detail about not going home. Eating a packed lunch means you actually have to remember to pack one.

"Damn it."

"You better not let any of your students hear you say that."

Koryuu looks up from his desk and smiles broadly. Everything feels a little bit better, a little bit more manageable, whenever his mother comes for a visit. At least during lunch time. "Mom, I didn't forget a lunch date, did I?" he asks with a smile, getting up from his desk to meet her halfway in the center of the classroom.

"Not a planned one, no." Meiyuu admits, hands behind her back at first until she brings them around to display two boxes Koryuu knows the contents of without even asking. "I had a feeling you might need an _unexpected_ lunch date though. Did I guess right?"

If there were any lingering feelings of unease in Koryuu, they vanish completely in the midst of his mother. "Are you sure you can't read my mind, Mom? Sometimes I wonder…" he grins. "Well, inside or outside then? It is a beautiful day."

"It is. And one shouldn't waste them when they present themselves. Let's go find us some sunshine."

Handing Koryuu one of the bento boxes, Meiyuu slips her now free arm around her son's and walks with him outside. Meiyuu's deceptive youth might make the pair appear like a couple heading out to picnic, but the students scattered on the lawns offer waves to the woman they know to be their teacher's mother. Koryuu often uses his own relationship with his mother as an example the others should follow.

'_But your Mom's cool, Sensei.' _Koryuu remembers one of his students saying. _'I'd be nicer to Kaasan if she was like yours.'_

Yes, Koryuu is very lucky to have all the people he has in his life.

"I'm having the weirdest day."

"Oh? How so, dear?"

"I don't know really. I just…felt really off this morning, but…now…just being like this with you, Mom…I feel silly for feeling anything could be wrong. Maybe I just forgot how lucky I was for a second and now you've reminded me."

Meiyuu laughs, her voice rich and low for a woman's. She plays her fingers in a bit of her son's golden hair, brushing some longer strands out of his eyes. "That's very sweet of you to say, dear. Not very nice to Goku though. I'm sure you saw him this morning. You still felt off around him?"

Koryuu would feel a little guilty over that comment, but really, he feels more puzzled. His mother's words are very true. Goku should have been enough to snap him out of that weird funk, but he wasn't. He guesses it must be because Goku is the most constant figure in his life, and that, for some reason, he needed to be reminded of other things. He sees his mother often, but not everyday.

Yes, he is certain he has guessed right. The questioning in him vanishes.

"I guess that just makes you special, Mom." He says, and kisses her on the cheek.

"Oh you." Meiyuu giggles. "I certainly did raise the sweetest boys any mother could have."

Naturally, Koryuu offers no objection to his mother's observation.

Koryuu feels so at ease with his mother, so intent on remaining in her company as if her presence is scarcer in his life than he knows it to actually be, that it is very difficult for him to admit when lunch time is reaching a close. He swears to drop by for dinner with Goku the following day.

The rest of the hours in school pass quickly and very routinely. Koryuu enjoys the time with his students, but is also pleased when the day is done and he knows it is time to head for Kinzan temple.

Walking with an ease to his step, Koryuu makes the short journey to the temple swiftly. He sees it in the distance like a beacon of yet another great presence in his life he misses, though he visits often and shouldn't feel quite as sentimental as he does. When he passes through the gates, Koryuu almost expects the glomp that greets him.

"Koryuu!" Kami shouts, before tackling his 'younger brother.'

Koryuu isn't entirely sure how the older (barely older) blonde manages to always be poised and ready whenever he passes inside the temple walls, but Kami never fails to pounce on schedule. "Not so hard, Kami. I do need to breathe, you know."

Kami pulls back, but keeps his arms around Koryuu's waist. "Gomen! But…I feel so lucky. I just saw you yesterday and I get to see you again. It makes me so happy! Are you here to see Master or Goku? Or is it both? Or is it just me? You never come to see just me."

"Why come for just one person when I can have all of you in the same place?" Koryuu replies, not at all minding that Kami is still clinging to him. "And it in no way makes you less important than them if I want to see all of you. Believe me. Besides, once we get you out of here and moved in with Mom I'll probably see you everyday."

"Swear?" Kami asks in earnest.

"I'll do my best."

Kami bounces in delight, only consenting to release Koryuu because he shifts and attaches himself to Koryuu's arm. Walking further onto the temple grounds, arms linked, smiling, and perfectly content, Koryuu and Kami could be the picture of the closest, sweetest brothers, if not very near…a couple.

It passes through Koryuu's mind that he has very intimate relationships with practically everyone in his life. Very physical. Very loving. And he adores it. So long as Goku is the only one who shares the deepest of intimacies, Koryuu wouldn't change things for anything.

"My, my, I do believe the sight of you two does my heart good." Comes a voice. It is the most familiar of all voices to Koryuu. More so than Goku's or even his own mother's in some ways.

Though he expects to find his master at the temple, and has come to the temple for the sake of his Master's summons, hearing the smooth, fluid voice of Koumyou Sanzo is very jarring.

Koryuu stumbles. His sudden stop along the paths of the temple causes Kami to nearly trip over his feet in order to stop alongside him. Slowly, Koryuu turns his head towards the voice. The flood of warmth he had felt at seeing his mother earlier pales in comparison to how he feels at the first sight of his…father.

"Master…"

"And prompt as well." Koumyou smiles. His expression is eternally serene and patient. The older man approaches the pair of blondes and regards them with the barest tilt of his head. "I wasn't sure you would remember to come today, seeing as how we met only yesterday. But what I have to speak to you about is very important, Koryuu."

Koryuu is strangely immobile, able only to smile back at his master in awe. He imagines he must be blinded by the sun shining off Koumyou's light colored robes, but he knows his reaction reaches deeper than that. He wishes he could place the feeling swelling in his chest just now.

Oblivious to Koryuu's shellshock, Kami tightens his hold on the other blonde's arm.

"Master, do you have to talk with Koryuu right away?" he asks, his voice a stretched out whine.

Koumyou smiles a little wider but is not one to be moved once his mind is set. "I apologize, Kami, but it is very pressing. I'll grant you leave to go up and visit Goku to make up for how I must sadly steal Koryuu away from you. Would that be all right?"

Like a small child, Kami considers this with much hard thinking, but eventually gives in when something he was recently denied is being granted him—bugging Goku while he works. "Okay. You won't leave without seeing me again." He adds, turning to gaze at Koryuu. He sports a pout that would be very difficult to ignore should Koryuu try. "Right, Koryuu?"

Koryuu is still staring, smile bright and eyes shimmering, at the vision of Koumyou before him—speaking to him, looking at him, right there _with_ him. It isn't strange exactly but it is such a blessing, one Koryuu overlooks too often, and he feels his master's presence like never before.

When he finally turns to nod and grin at Kami, he would swear his soul is floating half a foot above his body. Kami leaves, bounding on his way to find where Goku is working on the temple. Koryuu's attention returns immediately to his master.

Slowly, the older man's eyes—so often closed—open and look at Koryuu with the fondest expression. The expression is so fond, filled with so much kind affection…that it almost resembles pity. "Koryuu…" he begins.

"Yes, Master?"

"I'm afraid…there is something very serious we must discuss."

-----

Perfect. Everything about the bar and a hard days work feels so good to Gojyo, perfect is the only word he can imagine to describe it. He and Jien have plenty of hired help to bring in boxes and supplies, to clean up the bar, and to sort the various liquors that often get misplaced after a night of bartending. But even with all the people they have to help, both brothers enjoy doing a little of the hard labor themselves.

Gojyo is just finishing up bringing in the last of the boxes filled with their new glasses, and Jien is straightening the bar. Coming into the main area from the back, Gojyo sidles over to the bar's counter and hops up onto a stool.

"I need something strong, hard, and that'll work fast enough to satisfy me." Gojyo calls down to his brother, who is currently bent over a shelf.

Jien rises from his crouched position, a few bottles in his hands, and raises a dark eyebrow at the younger youkai's request. "Save that kinda shit for your husband, will ya?" he says. "I'm sure _he_ has something that can fill that order." The comeback is finished with a wink and Jien promptly returns to what he had been doing.

Laughing heartily at the exchange, Gojyo slaps his hand on the countertop. "Won't deny that." Gojyo chuckles. "Guess the same can't be said about Kanan though, huh, much as they might be alike in other ways."

"And thank the gods for it," Jien replies, head buried in the shelf he is once again engrossed in. "Their likeness _better_ stop below the waist or I think I might need to reconsider a few things."

Gojyo laughs again. "What? Kanan? Or your sexuality?"

A dirty rag flies up out of nowhere—well, from somewhere behind the bar, though Gojyo has no idea how his brother moved fast enough to throw it—and hits Gojyo square in the face. Gojyo just laughs again. He takes the rag, a little disgusted at being smacked with something that looks like it just cleaned out every dirty shelf they have in the bar, but forgets about it. He doesn't even return the favor by throwing the rag back, though he certainly considers it.

"Listen…Jien?" Gojyo begins, moving on to the real reason he finished his work as quickly as possible and is now sitting at the bar. His change in tone betrays that he is about to ask his brother something the way a student would ask permission from a teacher.

"Yeah?" Jien replies, already expecting something, knowing his brother as he does.

"Well…I got this call from Ma this morning, and…if you think you can manage…"

"Shit, Gojyo, are you leaving me to finish all this myself?" Jien pops up from behind the counter again, no longer holding bottles. He doesn't look nearly as stern as his words come out, though. "I know you've never figured out how to say 'no' to Mom, but we're running a business here and things need to get done. You're already done for the night at seven. Can't you wait and go then?"

"But that's my time with Gonou." Gojyo replies, knowing just how whipped he sounds by saying such a thing, but figuring being as honest as possible is the only way to win against his brother. Jien always knows when Gojyo is lying. "Besides, I already told Ma I'd come some time this afternoon. I'll stay another couple hours, so I'll only be ducking out a little early. This bar is both of ours, ya know. Technically, I could up and walk out that door right now if I wanted."

Jien narrows his dark blue eyes, just daring Gojyo to try that.

"Okay…I wouldn't do that, but…I could."

"Gojyo…" Jien shakes his head, the beginnings of a smile slipping into his expression much as he tries to push it down. He throws out an arm and roughly ruffles Gojyo's hair. "Fifty-fifty. All the way. You take off, you better be prepared to let _me_ leave early some time this week."

"Of course." Gojyo says, nodding his head a little too eagerly. No matter what they talk about, most of the time Gojyo ends up feeling like a little boy talking to his big teenage brother. Neither of them are teenagers anymore, but even when he sasses his brother Gojyo still feels he could never look up to anyone in the same way.

Jien allows his grin finally and ruffles Gojyo's hair again. He says Gojyo can leave when he wants, but that he'll have to make it up to him later. "A six-pack and a pizza some night," is Jien's suggestion, and Gojyo isn't all that against the idea, even if he will have to buy.

Once the time ticks away, Gojyo is soon ready to head for his mother's. He just has to make a quick stop along the way to pick up a couple packs of cigarettes for himself and Gonou since he knows they are both running low. Gonou smokes more than he does, though sometimes you would never know it, and Gojyo wonders if anyone at the school even knows the brunette smokes at all. Somehow he must get out to catch a cigarette break some time. It's just part of Gonou's smooth style of doing…everything, Gojyo supposes.

It is after four now and Gojyo knows school is out for the day, so it doesn't surprise him to run across Koryuu while he is buying smokes. What does surprise him is that the fair-faced blonde seems to be looking at the very brand of cigarettes Gojyo has come to buy for Gonou.

"Don't tell me he's got _you_ running his errands now." Gojyo says in way of greeting, tossing an arm over his human friend's shoulder. Koryuu seems to jump, and Gojyo figures he has finally gotten the better of the blonde. It's usually impossible to sneak up on Koryuu. "So? Lose a bet with Gonou or just thinking of picking up the habit yourself?"

"Ugh, no thank you." Koryuu says, smiling now and shaking his head at Gojyo. The shop they are in is small without too many customers at this time of day. Still, Koryuu keeps his voice low. "I owe Gonou a pack for buying lunch today. We ate with Kanan and he treated. I figured it was the least I could do." His smile turns a little crooked then. "Crap. He wins again, doesn't he? He treats and I still end up doing his shit for him. How does he manage that?"

Gojyo slaps Koryuu good-naturedly on the back and lets out a laugh. "That's our Gonou. Swindler to the last."

"I'll let _you_ be his lackey then." Koryuu says, returning Gojyo's slap by nudging the youkai in the side. "Suits you better anyhow. And hey, saves me money."

Koryuu and Gojyo share a few more laughs at that. Eventually, Gojyo grabs the cigarettes and Koryuu decides to pick up some treats for Goku. The blonde figures the least he can do is be whipped along with Gojyo, and the pair has a laugh at that too.

They part ways, Gojyo explaining that he is off to visit his mother. Koryuu asks—somewhat intensely—when he will be back, and Gojyo explains he will probably get home when he usually would, knowing how his mother likes to keep him.

Continuing on towards home—well, to the place he once called home—Gojyo picks up the pace of his walking. He wants to see his mother dearly, as if he hasn't seen her in…years. He knows better. He knows it has only been a few weeks, but he picks up his pace anyway.

It is a good walk to his mother's, since she lives clear across town and outside the limits a ways. Still, he manages to reach the little house in record time. He knocks first, but doesn't wait for a leave of entrance before opening the door and stepping inside.

"Ma!" he calls. There is a mirror in the entryway and he pauses to check his hair and the state of his clothes. He changed out of his work clothes at the bar before leaving, but he fusses over himself a little anyway. He feels an innate need to please his mother. He always has. "Ma! You home!"

"Gojyo?" The woman's voice sounds from closer than Gojyo expected and his mother comes out of the kitchen carrying a tray. The tray holds a few sweets and tea, things Gojyo's mother enjoys on a quiet afternoon but that he has never been terribly fond of.

Gojyo immediately takes the tray away from his mother to bring it over to the coffee table for her. "I got this, Ma. You go ahead and sit down."

"Still a gentleman. Glad I did some things right." She replies, kissing her son quickly on the side of his face and walking around to claim a seat on the couch. She wears a very simple, pale dress, and her long, wavy hair is free, hanging well past her shoulders. "Sit by me, Gojyo. It is so good to see you, dear."

Setting the tray down, Gojyo does as his mother asked. He sits beside her and just…looks. She is as beautiful as he always thinks of her, almost too young-looking to have full grown sons, especially since Jien is several years older than Gojyo. The most pleasing aspect in the vision of his mother is her smile, though, and her clear, bright eyes.

Gojyo decides to burn this memory of her in his mind forever, even if he is fairly certain he sees her like this often. No other woman could ever be as beautiful as his mother. No other woman could ever compare with her.

"Now, dear, I am so very glad you found the time to come." She says, reaching across the space between them to grasp both of Gojyo's hands in hers. "You know how much I miss you. Jien as well. The both of you don't visit nearly as much as I would like. And it isn't as if I am that far away, you know."

"I know, Ma. We're ungrateful bastards sometimes, huh?"

His mother shakes her head at his language. "Indeed, sometimes I do think that. But there are plenty of ways you could prove more grateful for all the hard work I spent raising you. It's part of the reason I asked you here today."

"What, to lecture me on how to be a better son? Gimme a little credit here, Ma."

"Oh, it's not what you think, Gojyo dear. It's a bit more complicated actually, but in the end I think you can only benefit from listening to me."

Gojyo is intrigued but a little worried as well. His mother is smiling and seemingly at ease, but there is something more anxious in the grip she has on his hands and in the tone of her voice. Gojyo doesn't like it. "What do you mean…?"

-----

Perfect. Walking side by side with his sister on such a fine day as they head for work, Gonou couldn't ask for much more. The week tends to get busy for them both, so unless it is otherwise planned they only walk together on Mondays. Gonou teaches middle school aged but Kanan works as vice principle of the elementary school. Her section is attached to Gonou's but points in the direction of Koryuu's little schoolhouse. Her jurisdiction only covers the schoolhouse and the main elementary building, not the upper levels. Gonou is supremely happy for this, because he cannot imagine anything worse than being a subordinate of his sister.

"You positive you're okay, Gonou?" Kanan asks, tilting her head in concern. She flips her hair over her shoulder then and feigns a teasing smile. "The last thing I want is to have to carry your unconscious body to work. People might expect fowl play, you know."

This possibility has Gonou laughing just as his sister intended. "Goodness, and why would they think that? Have you been voicing your plots aloud again? You'll never get rid of me if you keep telling everyone your plans."

Kanan returns the laugh heartily. "Damn, am I so obvious? Quit being so observant, will you?" More at ease now, Kanan purposely bumps into Gonou while they walk, which he responds to by bumping her back until a game of wills ensues. In the end, Gonou's superior strength wins out and he nearly sends his sister tumbling to the ground. Quick to catch her, though, Gonou scoops the woman into his arms before she can tumble completely.

For a moment they are the perfect picture of husband and wife.

Gonou sets Kanan down. The thought that crossed his mind just then didn't sit too well with him, much as he might be fond of goofing around with his sister. It is still a wonder that Kanan, only minutes older than Gonou in actuality, is already vice principle of a school, but no one else could compete against her abilities. Usually, Kanan is the one teasing Gonou about teaching teenagers since he was one himself not long ago.

"All right, better leave you to your classmates. Oh, I mean…students." Kanan smirks, dashing ahead quickly towards the entrance that more directly heads into the elementary side.

Not in much mood to give chase, Gonou just laughs and yells after her. "Don't let those rugrats run all over you now just because your mental capacities match!"

Kanan turns around and sticks out her tongue, to the complete entertainment of the group of middle school girls standing outside. A few of them are in Gonou's first period class and often snicker at the relationship he has with his sister. The whole school knows about the Cho twins and their often childish nature with each other. In the classroom or at board meetings, however, they are forces to be reckoned with.

A stern smile and raise of an eyebrow is all it takes from Gonou to have the group of girls rushing inside for school.

Gonou's classes fly by, the subjects fresh and exciting to him despite how many times he has gone over the material during the weekend. He teaches a few literature courses, a small honors creative writing class, and one final literature and composition class at the end of the day. Anything to do with the written word is like Heaven to Gonou. If he can instill even the slightest love for books in one of his students, he feels accomplished.

In his last class he is trying to implement a little of the spirit of creative writing, having just come from his creative writing class the hour before. Today the students are sharing spontaneous narrative to practice their storytelling skills. They are supposed to stand in front of the class and recite any story that comes to mind so they can later write it down in a similar style to their own speech pattern. Gonou swears this is the best way for keeping one's own voice in a narrative and so far the students love the exercise. But when the last student has gone a shout goes up from the class.

"Now you, Cho-sensei!"

"Hai, hai! You tell us a story, Sensei!"

"Please!"

"We all had to do it!"

"We want to hear your stories!"

Gonou steps up to the front of the class, having remained at the back during the students' presentations. He hadn't really thought of telling a story, but he had sprung the assignment on his students for the sake of spontaneity; it is only fair to ask the same of him.

He stands before the class and looks very thoughtful, leaning back against his desk. He is dressed more casually than most teachers at the school, in a simple pair of dark slacks and an untucked button down shirt that matches his eyes. He tries not to notice that several of the girls are really enjoying his relaxed stance against the desk.

"When I was a young boy…" Gonou begins, his smile broad to show he is more than up to the challenge his students have demanded, "…my favorite tale was the old legend of the Journey to the West--" Gonou cuts off abruptly. His face becomes blank and—seemingly in vain—he tries to sort out why the story should give him such pause before he has even begun it. After all, he read the story as a boy and has read it several times since. But…something…

Shaking his head and recapturing his smile, Gonou continues, ignoring the few giggles from his students that indicate the class assumes he forgot something or stumbled over the story as they did during their presentations.

"This tale is a very special tale of four very special men chosen by the gods themselves to journey into uncharted lands…" Continuing the story proves easier the more Gonou tells of it, and by the end he no longer feels disjointed.

He has to condense the story greatly for it is long and contains many side stories, but when it is complete the students give him an affirming round of applause. Face animate and hands prepared with just the right gestures to further the telling, he had given them quite the show for a simple narrative. As Gonou told his class, though, even the most insignificant narrative can be exciting and worthwhile if told well.

"Your assignment, remember, is to reproduce what you shared on paper, using the same voice we all had the pleasure of hearing today." Gonou reminds the class of this when time begins to tick its way towards the end. "I hope this exercise also helps you maintain your voice in further papers when our subject matter is less fictional. Have fun. You can leave a few minutes early for your courage in presenting today."

There is a cumulative cheer, and yet again Gonou has managed to solidify his place as one of the students' favorite teachers.

When he really thinks on it, Gonou considers the day to have been quite wonderful, even having slipped up and feeling a little odd on occasion. Now that his classes are finished for the day, he decides to be a good spouse and pick up the groceries. He noticed things were becoming a little sparse at home. Gojyo will probably think he has lost his mind for being so helpful in domestic matters, but he doesn't care if he is teased. He doesn't mind doing his fair share once in a while. He just doesn't plan on making a habit of it.

Gonou waves to several students of his as he makes his way out of the building, stops to chat with fellow teachers, and even knocks on Kanan's window before leaving the grounds, since his sister's job requires more after school time. She sticks his tongue out as she had when they parted that morning but finished the exchange with a wave and smile.

Walking through town to head for the nearest grocer—he also needs a few packs of cigarettes for him and Gojyo—Gonou's youkai companion is the most prominent thing on his mind outside of shopping. As far as he can remember, Gojyo didn't have work today, meaning he is most likely waiting at home, bored out of his mind.

A wicked smirk spreads over Gonou's face thinking of that. Thinking of Gojyo napping on the couch, all defenseless and unaware. Gonou decides to be quick with his shopping so he can be home all the quicker too.

He walks into the corner store, briefcase at his side, and grabs one of the cloth bags for customers off of the wall. It feels very natural to shop in this manner, acquiring needed supplies. Well, groceries and other things. Gonou doesn't know if he would really call them supplies. It makes it sound like he is packing up for a road trip. So he collects things he knows the house to be running low on, and has to stop himself from buying a pack of meatbuns. There is no need for him to buy any extra food for Goku, even if the younger man does come over often.

Gonou finishes up by grabbing a few packs of his and Gojyo's brand of cigarettes, which reminds him that he hasn't had a smoke all day. He was wondering about the headache that slowly crept up on him since morning. How silly of him to neglect his own addiction. He vows to light one up as soon as he is outside the store. He can only imagine how good the first drag will taste after nearly a day without anything.

"Just this, please." Gonou tells the clerk, piling his things on the counter.

The clerk is a young man, not too many years younger than Gonou, though most likely out of school. He would be fairly forgettable if he wasn't giving Gonou a very unnerving look rather like disdain.

The clerk packs up what Gonou has bought and points to the price, not speaking, but Gonou merely smiles and hands the young man the money. "Thank you so much."

Considering the dismissive sneer he gets in return, Gonou is very pleased he decided to pay in exact change. He gets out of the store as quickly as his feet can carry him. He is not one to be bullied, but the looks the young clerk was giving him were enough to make his skin crawl. He wishes he knew why he deserved such angry attention.

Setting down his bag and briefcase a moment, Gonou pulls a fresh cigarette out and lights it. The first drag is indeed better tasting than Gonou could ever imagine. He savors it, takes several more long puffs, and finally picks his things up again and starts to walk. His cigarette dangles from his mouth and he is content to leave it there.

"Gonou!"

Gonou pauses. Is that Kanan's voice he hears? He turns, squinting his eyes to see through the crowd of people. Far down the path he sees the figure of his sister running, running at great speed to catch up with him.

"Gonou!"

-----

Perfect. Lying in bed with Koryuu's arms wrapped around him and the final notes of the song the blonde had sung hanging in the air, Goku feels more perfectly content than should be possible. He adores the safety and comfort he feels in Koryuu's arms, even if he often thinks he is the one protecting his lover rather than the other way around.

Both know they must be getting up soon. Koryuu has work and Goku does too. In fact, Goku probably has to leave earlier than Koryuu to make sure he gets to the temple at a time Koumyou will be free to instruct him. Koumyou ditches out on lectures and other obligations often, but he is still a high-ranking monk with duties.

Goku tries not to think about it.

"Stop squeezing so tight, monkey. You'll break a rib."

"Sorry." Goku says, snuggling closer but loosening his hold a bit. "I don't wanna wake up today. Can't we just stay in bed?"

Koryuu runs his fingers through Goku's hair a few moments before responding, gently petting the soft strands. "I'm sorely tempted, but we can't. It's Monday. I have a class full of bouncy five-year-olds and you have the temple to reconstruct. We're both too busy to think of skipping."

An unintelligible grumble is Koryuu's reply. "Well…can we jump back in bed as soon as we get home?" Goku suggests, his voice groggy but mildly hopeful. He knows the perfect times to use his pouty, childish voice to its full extent. Koryuu rarely is strong enough to resist it, but a gift such as Goku's should not be overused.

"As soon as we're home, huh…" Koryuu purrs, turning his head to dig his nose in Goku's neck like a curious, playful pet. He nips at a particularly tender patch of skin. "I think I like that idea. Meet you back here around four?" he says, striking kisses where he had gently bitten.

Feeling Koryuu's body pressed so close around him, the blonde lower in position now so he can lavish kisses on the monkey's neck and chest, has Goku delirious, dizzy, and ridiculously happy. He loves when Koryuu is playful like this. "Mmm…four? I'm s'posed to stay at the temple till five, but even if I have to be in two places at once you can bet I'll be here."

Goku grabs the sides of Koryuu's head and lifts the blonde up into a kiss. Soon they will have to get out of bed. Soon they will have to leave for work. Soon…the day will be over and Goku will be dashing back for their rendezvous—though that part won't come nearly soon enough.

Sharing a few moments of wet, morning kisses and tender touches, Koryuu eventually pulls away and says he has to get into the shower or risk really being late. Goku allows their separation if only for the promise that they _will_ meet in bed when work is done for the day.

"Like anything could keep me from it." Koryuu replies.

The pair takes turns in the shower, shares a simple breakfast, and heads out the door to walk as far along the path together as they can. Koryuu has agreed to leave a little earlier than he normally would so Goku doesn't have as far to walk on his own. Though it is rarely spoken of aloud, Goku never does like to be alone, even if only for a short time.

When the schoolhouse comes into sight and Goku knows he has to let his lover go, he unabashedly kisses the blonde despite the many students out in the yards. Koryuu doesn't get angry at the open gesture—several students snicker upon seeing it—but he messes Goku's hair a bit before nudging the brunette in the direction of the temple.

With students eagerly flocking to him on such a lovely Monday morning, Goku looks back to watch Koryuu interacting with the children. His attention focuses solely on the road only after Koryuu and the schoolhouse have passed completely out of sight. Even then he has trouble keeping his feet heading in one direction when half of him wants to turn back just to keep Koryuu in his sights.

Thankfully, the temple is not all that far from town, and with Goku's quick pace it soon comes into view. He sees Kami at the entrance long before Kami sees him. "Kami!" he calls. "What are you doing, baka! Daydreaming already!" There is humor in Goku's tone, of course, but his teasing isn't entirely a joke. Kami is known to get distracted easily.

Startled, Kami looks out at Goku from the entrance. He had been preoccupied with something—a bird or the sun perhaps—but has his attention fully on Goku now. "Not daydreaming, silly!" Kami calls back. "I was waiting for you!"

Goku laughs aloud. "Good thing I saw you first! I don't think I could take a spontaneous glomp this early in the morning!"

Kami waits until Goku is closer before replying. He opens his arms and looks as if he is steadying his footing. "How about one you see coming?"

And Goku laughs again. He doesn't answer but opens his arms in waiting. Like Koryuu, he is used to Kami's enthusiasm. Goku doesn't mind at all, either, because he has always been a sucker for touch. Kami loves touch, just like Koryuu, Koumyou, and Meiyuu. It is an entire family of lovers of the physical. Goku feels very at home with it.

Considering Kami's hugs are usually quite long and vigorous, Goku is a little surprised that the blonde seems more gentle than usual. The hug seems more like a relaxed sigh, filled with sympathy rather than jubilance. Goku is immediately concerned.

"Kami…is something wrong?"

"Eh…? Uhhh…no. I'm just…glad you're here. I know I get to move soon, but…I don't think I can stand to be here by myself much longer."

Goku feels himself relax. He squeezes Kami a little tighter. "Real soon, Kami. Ma can't wait to get you into her house. She wanting you there right at the start, you know."

"Yeah…but Master wanted me here. And that's okay. I wouldn't have wanted to leave him then. But now…it'll be okay now, right?"

There are many times when Goku craves soothing words and encouragement, but as much as he enjoys receiving such things he understands and enjoys the necessity of giving such things too. "You bet, Kami. And Kory and I will always be around. We're just five minutes from Ma's place. You can come visit anytime."

Kami doesn't seem altogether content with this answer, still acting rather unlike himself. Goku isn't used to the blonde being this way.

When the two of them break from their hug, Kami looks as if he very much wants to say something to Goku. Patiently, Goku waits for the taller man to speak, but Kami's words seem to get caught on the way out of his mouth with every attempt. Finally, when Goku is about to press Kami for what is on his mind, another voice interrupts them.

"Ah, Goku. Right on time. I thank you for coming." Koumyou says, appearing out of nowhere, as the monk often does.

Goku turns from Kami, his curiosity towards the blonde momentarily forgotten. "Koumyou, hisashiburi." Goku grins, knowing full well they saw one another yesterday and that it hasn't been long at all since they last talked. "Are you ready to go over plans for the temple? I'm set for anything."

The ever-present smile on Koumyou's face holds its respective place. He crosses closer to Goku and gently smooths the boy's hair with a kind and graceful hand. "So energetic, Goku. I knew I chose the right person for the job. If it wouldn't be too much trouble for you, I would like you to start by patching the roof of the north building first. I haven't quite finished planning the larger things, so our blueprints will have to wait."

"That's okay." Goku smiles, unconsciously pushing up against the hand still petting his head. Kami is forgotten. Goku can so easily be transfixed by Koumyou, the man dearest in Koryuu's life—other than Goku himself, of course. "I like doing simple stuff like patching. It's kinda fun. I'll start right away, okay, and when you want me for something else, just yell."

A gentle chuckle escapes Koumyou. He takes a few more moments to play with Goku's brown locks before finally pulling his hand back and looking past Goku at Kami. "Don't neglect your chores already, Kami. It's only morning, after all." He instructs the blonde. "Save such things for the afternoon, yes, when you can better enjoy it."

A small blush rises in Kami's cheeks and he bows his head, knowing Koumyou is only teasing him. "I'll let Goku work. But you better talk with me a little more, okay? Later?"

"I'll come bug you when I take a break." Goku promises.

Kami is a little hesitant but satisfied enough to head back inside the temple.

Goku follows Koumyou along some of the temple paths towards the north building. The roof really does need work, Goku can tell that just from a single glance. He has a bag of supplies and tools along with him, but sees that there are already some materials waiting for him up on the roof.

"The easiest way up is from the inside of the building, but whatever works best for you, Goku." Koumyou says, knowing just how much of a monkey the little brunette really can be at times. "Why don't you start here, and I'll come for you when I have a better idea what to do on other things? Hmm? Does that sound all right?"

"Sure thing." Goku smiles, rolling up his sleeves.

"Oh…and Goku…do be careful."

As Koumyou is walking away, Goku thinks it rather unnecessary that Koumyou said that. It would have been one thing if Koumyou said it with his usual smile and humor attached, but…the warning had sounded strangely serious. Goku shrugs it off, more concerned now with getting in as much work as he can before Koumyou comes back.

Goku does indeed find his own way onto the roof, enjoying the climb perhaps a little more than the tedious work ahead, though he wasn't lying when he said simple things like this can be very fun for him. In the end he just likes feeling useful. Seeing how much the roof needs this patching, Goku feels very useful in his task today.

It is a couple hours before Goku even thinks about feeling tired while up on the rooftop with the sun getting higher and higher above him. It is not Koumyou who comes into his sights first, however. The voice that calls up to him from the ground below belongs instead to Kami.

"Kami! What is it! You don't want me to come down for a break already, do you! I'm good but I'm not that fast!" Goku calls back, grinning over the edge of the roof.

Kami does not return the smile but looks incredibly troubled. Some of his expression is reminiscent of how he looked at Goku before when it seemed he might tell Goku something. Kami seems much more urgent now. "I can't keep this to myself, Goku! I just can't!" the blonde calls, blue eyes large and full of…sympathy again. "I have to tell you the truth!"

-----

"You really are despicable, you know that?"

"Do you think so, Miss Hwan? How kind of you to say so. Hahahahaha…"

tbc...

A/N: I must be channeling some of Nii's evil. At least that's what some of YOU seem to think, huh? ;-) This part was...okay. But from here on things get really interesting. hehehe. Thanks so much for your continued support. Right now this story is at the same size as its 1st installment...with much more to go. Stay with me, everyone. I promise it only gets better from here.

Crim


	19. When it all starts going wrong…again

When it all starts going wrong…again

* * *

"What do you need to talk to me about, Master?" Koryuu asks, troubled by the seriousness of Koumyou's expression. The priest usually wears such a flawless smile but he does not have the heart to feign one just now.

Gesturing towards a path of the temple that leads into a more secluded area, Koumyou begins to walk, knowing Koryuu will follow him. "Come. This conversation is not for others' ears."

Koryuu does not like the sound of this at all. He rushes to catch up to Koumyou and walk alongside the monk down the path. "It isn't anything to do with…your health?" he asks, tense and anxious for whatever answers might come from the older man.

"Oh no. Not at all." Koumyou assures him.

"A problem with…Dougan? Your succession?"

"No, no. Please, Koryuu, be patient and listen, will you? Soon enough I will be as forthright as I can."

Reaching a small inner courtyard not often frequented by the other monks, Koumyou heads for a small bench beneath one of the larger trees. He pats the place next to him and Koryuu sits as instructed.

"Please relax." Koumyou says, laying a hand on Koryuu's knee. "This will be difficult, but…you must be strong. You can do that for me…can't you? Koryuu?"

_Be strong, Genjou Sanzo._

Koryuu's head buzzes. He doesn't quite understand what is happening, but he nods instinctively. He would do anything his master asked of him. He owes the man so much more than just his life, after all. He owes him his very humanity.

"Yes, Master. I'm listening."

Pulling his hand back, Koumyou sits in silence for some time, eyes closed, his attention focused more outward than at the young blonde sitting with him. Koryuu waits patiently, however, as he has been asked. He understands his master's ways, and if this is how Koumyou wishes to bring up whatever is so pressing, Koryuu will allow it.

Even if his heart feels like it might burst within his chest.

"Koryuu…how long has Goku been with you?"

Koryuu starts. This question seems so out of place. What could Goku have to do with anything? "I don't understand, Master. Which way do you mean exactly?" Koryuu asks this carefully, not wanting to word his question as clear as he could. Asking it at all brings a slight blush to his cheeks since he has asked it of Koumyou.

"How long has it been since you first found him?" Koumyou restates, smiling very subtly in response to Koryuu's blush, but still looking troubled.

"Oh. Well…eight years now, I guess. Maybe a little more."

"And it has been…pleasant? Your time together?"

Koryuu is deeply confused. "Very much so. I love Goku."

To Koryuu's extreme anxiety, Koumyou's troubled look increases dramatically upon these words. "Yes…" the monk says in a very solemn whisper. "…and it is because of your love for him…that this is so hard for me to say."

"Master…?"

Koumyou rises from the bench and stands with his back to Koryuu, who remains seated. "I wish there was another way, another truth, but I have exhausted all possible outcomes. There is only one way this can end. And that…is for you to soon lose Goku completely."

Even the reverent silence that follows Koumyou's words is not enough to dull this cryptic, unexpected blow. "What…?" Koryuu breathes. "What are you talking about?"

The world dims, the sun hidden behind clouds Koryuu didn't even know existed in the sky today. What could Koumyou mean? Why do these words bring with them such a weight, such a pain, and such darkness, chasing any remnants of light away? Koryuu has no answer, but he feels the gnawing of something unfamiliar in his chest. He must listen to his master, but these things, the things Koumyou is saying, they make no sense.

They…can't be real.

"Koryuu, you know the danger that lurks within Goku. You know it better than any of us, perhaps, for you have witnessed his other self many times."

"That's true, but I don't understand what--"

"Koryuu, please, let me finish."

And for all the difficulty in keeping quiet, Koryuu obeys. He wishes his master would face him again. He wishes he had the strength to rise from the bench and face his master himself. He wishes so many things, and cannot even comprehend how much more he will be vainly wishing when his master has finished speaking.

Koumyou's head remains held high, but as to his expression, Koryuu can only guess. "I have communed with the Three Aspects about this on several occasions. I know that Goku is trying his best to overcome the demon within, but the truth of the matter is…such a thing is not possible." Koumyou explains, speaking each word with much difficulty but with conviction that allows no interruption. "He can never be in total control. It is the reason his coronet was crafted."

"Fine then. We'll stop practicing." Koryuu breaks in. "But I don't understand why any of this means I'm going to lose Goku."

Hanging his head now, Koumyou shakes it in sad dissent. "I'm so sorry, Koryuu." He says. He turns at last, but the depth of sorrow in his expression makes it even more painful for Koryuu now that he must see it. "I have been informed that there is very little time. I asked Goku here…for your protection. His limiter, very soon now…will shatter. It could happen as soon as today, but when it does there will be nothing capable of stopping him. There is only one option left to us. It is the reason I wished to speak to you, unfair though it may be."

Koryuu is too stunned to speak. He is certain he must be dreaming if these words are truly being spoken.

"There is no other way, Koryuu." Koumyou continues. "When Goku's limiter breaks…you must kill him."

"What!" Koryuu is on his feet before the word has even left him. He fills with anger and the deepest reaching fear he has ever known. Lies. It must be lies. "I don't believe you." He says, shaking his head as if the harder he does so the more he can shake this truth out of his life. "Even…even if it would happen, I could never…you would _never_…"

"I would do anything to make this untrue." Koumyou affirms, reaching out to grasp Koryuu's shoulder and study him. Koryuu pulls back, unwilling to allow the gesture. "Please, understand why I have told you this. If not you, someone else will be the one to do it, for it must be done. Having become stronger than his limiter, not even the gods will have the power to reign him in any longer. The only option is--"

"Betrayal!" Koryuu cries, backing away from his master and hitting the bench with the back of his knees. He almost crumbles down into the seat, but by sheer force of will remains stranding. "That's what you're asking. You're asking me to betray the man I love, to willing take what means most to me and…destroy it. How can I…? How can _you_?"

The pain on Koumyou's face is deep and honest, but the conviction remains. He reaches into his robs…and pulls out a banishing gun Koryuu recognizes though he is almost certain he has never laid eyes on such a weapon before. "You will see for yourself if you choose to wait. When his limiter breaks…you will have to use this."

Koryuu stares at the gun as if it is the very cause of this horror. He has no intention of taking it, and yet his hand reaches for it anyhow. "I…can't." he whispers, even while his fingers are closing around the gun and he is staring at it, feeling the weight of it in his hand, and imagining how he will soon be forced to pull the trigger.

No! He couldn't. It isn't possible. It has to be a lie. It has to be.

"Master!"

Koryuu and Koumyou turn to the entrance of the courtyard. Kami, perhaps more aware of what is happening than he would ever let on, is rushing towards them, looking startled and panicked.

"Master! Master!" the paler blonde cries. "Goku left! He left!"

"You're certain?" Koumyou asks, attention drawn away from Koryuu for the moment. His expression turns even grimmer while facing Kami. "Did he give a reason for leaving?"

Kami gasps, coming to a stop in front of the others. His big blue eyes are stretched wide in alarm. "He said…he said…he was feeling…funny. You know, _weird_. And he kept scratching by his crown, and…and…" Kami trails, his frantic eyes falling upon the gun in Koryuu's hand. Kami gasps. Yes, it does seem he knows more than one might think, but he too seems horrified at the reality of it.

"I don't believe this is happening…" Koryuu says. His gaze is not on either Kami or his master. His mind's eye is only on Goku. And his heart is breaking. With a surge of anger he turns to stare very heatedly into his master's face. "I'll prove you wrong. I'll prove those fucking, floating heads _wrong_! Goku is strong. He can beat this. I know he can. And _this_…" Koryuu reluctantly turns his gaze onto the gun, clutching it tightly. "…nothing in the world could make me use it."

No more words are offered to Kami or Koumyou before Koryuu takes to flight, running full speed down the paths of the temple. He will reach the house, find Goku, and somehow…somehow he will prove that Goku can beat the monster within. He has to.

And yet…it escapes Koryuu's notice that he has brought the gun along despite swearing he could never pull the trigger.

-----

"Come on, Ma, spill it. What's up?" Gojyo presses, still consciously aware of his mother's mood. She is calm but also nervous. Gojyo wouldn't normally expect such a duality could exist in a single person at a single time, but his mother is managing. It makes him extremely antsy.

"Gojyo dear, I know you will probably rant and rave against what I say, but I want you to give me a fair hearing, all right?"

Gojyo isn't stupid. This can't be good. "What is it…?"

Straightening herself on the couch a little, Gojyo's mother prepares herself for what can only be a very serious matter. "Gojyo…I know you may think you are happy with your little bar and that…human you live with. But if you would only see reason, stop, think for a moment, I believe you would understand that a few changes are not only desirable but very smart."

"Come again?" Gojyo says, already bordering on annoyed. He knows his mother is very controlling, very…suffocating sometimes, but only because she loves him. Her love alone keeps him patient, but he will not remain patient if she pushes things too far.

"You heard me." She replies, folding her hands in her lap and looking straight back at him. "The bar is one thing, but that…man you live with is entirely different. Do you really think you have a future with him? Besides being a human he…well, from what I have heard of this man, he gets around, doesn't he? A real philanderer before he met you. Do you think he has changed?"

Gojyo's blue eyes narrow. Patience is running away on him quicker than he would have guessed. "You're talking about the man I love, Ma. I'd suggest you choose nicer words." Gojyo growls. Seldom does he lose his temper where his mother is concerned, but he draws the line at insulting Gonou. "I got around a lot too, ya know. We didn't settle down until we found each other, but it was _each other_ that did it. Did you really want a bunch of illegitimate grandchildren out there?"

Gojyo's mother huffs, turning her head snidely to the side. "At least I would _have_ grandchildren. Between you and Jien the best I can hope for is nothing from one son and a bastard hanyou from the other."

For the briefest moment, Gojyo has the sincerest desire to strike his mother across the face. The way she had just spit out the word 'hanyou' burns in his ears like acid. Where does she get off condemning anything? Where does she get off condemning a child that wouldn't even have the choice of its birth? It wouldn't be the baby's fault who its parents were.

"I don't understand what you see in that man. He is nothing but a filthy human." Gojyo's mother continues, nose lifted to better sneer as she speaks. "One day he will walk out that door of yours, and then what will you have? You'll just be something…spoiled. That's all you'll be. No decent youkai woman would have a man who couldn't even keep a human."

"That's enough, Ma." Gojyo cuts in, fists unwittingly clenching.

"No, it is not." She barks back, turning her clear eye back on him. Her expression is an impossible combination of obsessive affection and disgust. "You will never be enough for a youkai woman if you waste your time with humans. Being friends with them is one thing, but sharing your bed is…abominable. Maybe it's a good thing you and that man can't have children. I'd want nothing to do with such a creature."

Gojyo stomps his feet hard on the floor and stands, livid enough for his blue eyes to burn like the hottest flame. His fists are still tightly clenched at his sides. "I'm not listening to this. I'm not listening to you tell me how I'm not good enough again. I'm not good enough for the future wife I don't even want? Just say it, Ma. I'm not good enough for _you_, and I never will be."

Harsh silence envelopes them, and Gojyo's mother looks positively scandalized at her son's outburst. When she collects herself, her face is as stern as ever. She smooths her dress upon her knees and remains primly seated. "If that is what you want to hear, fine. You are a constant disappointment."

A bony, unforgiving hand clamps around Gojyo's heart.

"I ask so little of you and yet you do everything you can to make things harder on me. Have I really asked for so much? I am only looking out for you, Gojyo, and the truth of the matter is…it will ruin you to stay with that human. If you actually disobey me and choose to stay with him, I…why, I don't know what I'll do. You'll break your mother's heart, I can tell you that. I don't think I could…look at you. I can barely stand the way Jien throws his relationship with that woman in my face. To have it from you as well? I couldn't bear it, Gojyo."

This is too surreal, too cruel to be the words of a mother to her son. Gojyo is immobilized with distraught disbelief. Some of what he is hearing sounds so unbelievable. Other things…sound so…strangely familiar.

_You'll never me enough, you filthy child! I hate you!_

"Please, Gojyo, just listen to me. You'll see my way in time, I know it."

Gojyo is barely listening anymore. He cannot bear to hear these things from his own mother. It makes him angrier than he ever thought he could be. "Shut up." He finally says, his voice softer now and far more defeated than furious. "Go ahead and think whatever the hell you want, _Mother_. I won't hear it. I love Gonou…and damn everything else, because loving him is all that matters to me."

Turning right where he stands, Gojyo puts his back to his mother and starts to walk. No more. He will not listen to another word. She may call out to him—and she does repeatedly—but he will not turn back. He will not risk giving her any satisfaction. If she can really say these things to him than she can suffer through being left and ignored.

Deep down, Gojyo knows his mother will come around. She's his mother. But that she had the gall to say even one small ounce of this to him really eats at him. Mothers are supposed to be patient and loving and _understanding_ of their children. When did his become something…barely like a mother at all?

Gojyo walks out of his mother's house without even batting an eye. Her voice follows after him, "Gojyo, wait! Just listen to me!" but he doesn't even acknowledge she is speaking to him. She can call for as long as she wants. He is going home, where home means more than how one of them can please the other. It is a promise built on love and trust that his mother just can't seem to understand.

The urge to get home and retell this story to Gonou is the fuel in Gojyo's steps. He will be home much earlier than expected, over an hour at least, but he loves surprising Gonou like this. The gorgeous brunette is probably sitting at the kitchen table grading papers. Gojyo licks his lips at the thought of sneaking up on Gonou and having his way with the man right there on the kitchen floor.

His thoughts turn especially devious when he thinks how his mother would react to knowing how he plans to deal with her speech. Leave Gonou? Hell no. He is going home to fuck his lover senseless. One day, his mother is going to eat her words.

The little house comes into sight and Gojyo has to keep himself from charging forward at a sprint. He wouldn't want to seem too eager if Gonou ends up being in the living room. He has to play things cool…and ravage Gonou unexpectedly. Gojyo chuckles to himself. Maybe he is displacing or unhealthily planning to release his anger by participating in lewd sex acts, but who the hell cares about that psycho shit. Sex is the best therapy Gojyo can imagine.

When Gojyo quietly approaches their little house and without the smallest creak opens the front door, he is brutally reminded that Gonou thinks of sex like therapy too. Gonou loves sex. Currently, Gonou is loving sex with someone who is definitely not Gojyo.

The bony hand that had clutched Gojyo's heart while speaking with his mother takes a firmer hold and rips with all its might. Gojyo barely even notices his heart is now bleeding on the living room floor. The fact that he left the cigarettes he bought at his mothers in his rush to escape her remains forgotten.

Gonou is on the couch, completely naked, fucking to his heart's content…the pretty blonde figure of their mutual friend Koryuu.

Gojyo stands in pained shock for a full minute, watching the slow, even movements of Gonou atop Koryuu while both men thrust and pant and clutch at each other's arms the way…Gonou sometimes clutches at Gojyo. Finally, although the sound of Gojyo entering did not alert the pair to his presence, Gonou looks up from his intense concentration and spots the youkai in the doorway.

With a slow grin—he doesn't even bother to cease his actions—Gonou chuckles darkly. "Well, well. A little early, aren't you?"

-----

"Gonou!"

"Kanan?" Stepping out of the path to allow passerbys to continue on their way, Gonou waits for his sister to catch up with him. She looks panicked, fearful, and is running at full speed. He has not been gone from the school grounds for very long, but it looks as though she took off only a few minutes ago and sprinted the entire way to catch him. "What's going on!" he calls when she is only a short distance from colliding with him.

Coming to as short a stop as she can, Kanan nearly does run into her brother and has to hang onto his shoulders to catch her breath and keep herself steady. "Oh…Gonou…" she gasps, her small fingers clutching tight at the cloth on his shoulders.

"Kanan…what…are you all right?" Gonou is a few steps beyond concerned by this point. His sister is many things, but seldom frantic. She has a better poker face than he does, and can handle almost any situation handed her. If she is this upset, something has to be very wrong. "Tell me, please." He stresses. "It's been ten, fifteen minutes since I saw you. What could have happened?"

Kanan shakes her head, still breathing heavily after her run. She does not lift her eyes completely, keeping them focused on the ground. "Oh, Gonou…" she says again. "I had heard rumors for a while, but…I never took them seriously. I'm so sorry."

"Rumors? Kanan, what is this about?"

For a moment, Kanan's distant gaze cuts off from him completely and she closes her eyes tight. Her breathing is stabilizing but her demeanor is just as distressed. Slowly, she opens her eyes and lifts her head, meeting emerald green with her own. "I overheard some of the older students talking. You know about the purists in town, the ones who think it so awful that Jien and I are together?"

Gonou takes this information in. Yes, he knows the people Kanan is referring to and he nods in response, worried with a reason now. He has never given much thought to these purists, but they have spoken out against youkai and human relationships for years. Gonou doesn't know what would be so important about them now but if they have his sister worried…

"It was so awful…the things they said."

"What things?" Gonou presses. He wishes Kanan wasn't clinging to him so he could put his bags down and hold her in return.

"They…they started speaking of me first. Of me and Jien." Kanan explains. She is frantic, but lowers her voice to keep their conversation as hushed as being in the middle of town allows. "They must not have known I was around, but I heard them. It was some of the older…boys. They were talking about how…awful it is for youkai and humans to intermarry, and that they were…appalled…one of their own teachers was in that kind of…of…sinful relationship. But then…then…they weren't talking about me anymore, Gonou."

"Calm down, Kanan, please." Gonou says, truly hating to see his sister acting so weak and powerless when she is usually such a cornerstone of strength. "Just tell me. It's scaring me to see you so…so frightened like this."

Kanan stares deep into the like green eyes of her brother. Her look is penetrating to the core. "Oh, Gonou," she says—yet again. "They started talking about you. About…you and Gojyo. The things they said, I…I couldn't even repeat them, they're so awful. They…they were saying how it's one thing to be in a relationship so despicable, but…to be two men in one is even worse. They said you took taboo to a whole new level, that you especially were the worst kind of man for doing it too. They kept saying how…disgusting it is the way you so openly express love for a monster."

These words fall like a heavy weight on Gonou's ears. He has known of such close-minded people in the world, even in their village, but he would never expect Kanan would be so shaken by it. There must be more than idle, foolish words to this tale, but Kanan is so distraught she can barely bring herself to say what she has spoken so far. She is shaking as she clutches at his arms, her eyes wide and quivering as if preparing to shed a torrent of tears.

Gonou has never been able to stand seeing his sister cry. All their lives he has wanted nothing more that to see her happy. They may bicker and tease, but only because of their bond, one petty things could never sever. He has seen his sister upset, he has caused her to be upset, but even through tears Kanan can often produces a smile. It may be a false smile, but she can almost always muster the strength to produce one anyway.

As Gonou looks into her stricken face, there are not even the remnants of the barest feigned smile. Kanan is utterly broken, and whatever lies behind the brunt of it, the truth has something to do with Gonou.

Knowing that…is almost more than he can stand.

_It's too late, Gonou…_

_No! Kanan!_

Gonou shakes his thoughts clear. He has to focus. There is more to what Kanan is telling him. More than he may want to hear. "Tell me, Kanan. Tell me why this has you so upset. We have dealt with closed minds before, and we have never let it bother us. There will always be people who don't understand."

"No, Gonou. _You_ don't understand." Kanan says, every word from her lips cracking with emotion. "_After_. It…it was what they said after all that. They…oh, Gonou, I…I don't want to believe it's true, but…it…it…" Her eyes fill with tears at last and she cannot keep them from suddenly streaming down her cheeks. "It might already be too late."

The panic that has been slowly creeping up from the bottom of Gonou's spine seizes him like a vice on the back of his neck. If Kanan wasn't hanging on to him, he would surely lose his grip on his bag and briefcase. "Too late…? Kanan…what are you talking about?"

Kanan shakes her head again. "They said it was already planned. That it had been planned for weeks. They said…we'll get the woman and her monster boyfriend next, but…first…first we'll take care of the…faggots." Kanan's voice lowers on this word, hating the sound of it on her tongue. Even speaking it only to tell of what others said, it hurts her to say the word, and as she does she has to turn her eyes from her brother's face.

There is nothing in what Kanan has said that would make Gonou angry with her, but the word, the implications in what is being discussed, begins to ring true with him. This is about more than closed minds. This is about hatred. This is about hatred given action.

This is about…him and Gojyo. _Gojyo_…

"Kanan, what did they mean? Did they say any more than that?" Gonou is too worried to be calm any longer. He has to know what Kanan isn't telling him. "What have they been planning?"

Still leaking tears, Kanan returns her gaze to her brother's worried face. Her grip on his shoulders tightens. "Gonou…they said it was happening today. They said…they were making sure they hit the house while only one of you was there. I…I don't know what they meant, but I think…oh gods, Gonou, I think they were talking about plans for something _terrible_."

An emotion far stronger than panic grips the back of Gonou's neck now.

Gojyo is strong. Gojyo can take care of himself. But why then does Gonou have such a need to sprint home? After all, if something really was wrong, he would have felt that things were wrong, wouldn't he? Don't lovers always have feelings like that when something happens to their other half?

"Kanan, you're certain you heard them correctly?"

"No doubt in my mind, Gonou. Do you think I would have rushed to find you like this if I wasn't scared out of my mind?"

"Kanan…?"

"What are you standing here for, Gonou!" Kanan shouts suddenly, shaking the shoulders she had been clinging to. "I don't know what they meant, but it scared me so much, I…Gonou, you have to hurry. You have to get to Gojyo. I don't know what you're going to find, but…oh…oh, gods…" Before any more coherency can leave her, Kanan succumbs completely to the tears falling down her face. She steps back, releasing Gonou at last and cries, "Go!"

Though he knows it is only a moment that he looks from his sister to the crowd and busy streets around them, time seems to slow. His gaze lifts from Kanan and looks at all the many people around them. He would swear each friendly face he expects to find is looking at him in sheer contempt instead. Every man, woman, or child passing by on the street turns to look at him like looking at the most insignificant of creatures in existence.

He honestly doesn't know how much of what he sees is just in his mind, but chills rush down his back and the next thing he knows he has dropped his briefcase and bag to the ground and is sprinting down the road with Kanan far behind him.

-----

"Kami, what are you talking about!" Goku calls down to the blonde below him. "What truth!"

Kami, fidgety and looking very upset, shuffles his feet as if trying to dig out of the ground the best response. He gives up in the end and slaps his arms against his sides in frustration. "I…I can't tell you from here, Goku! You have to come down! It's _important_!" he stresses.

There is still quite a bit of work to be done on the roof, but Goku is not used to Kami acting so strange. He waves to Kami that he will be down in just a minute, checks to make sure all of his materials and tools are secure on the rooftop, and carefully climbs his way down off the roof using a nearby tree. When he lands on the ground with a soft 'ooph,' Kami is right at his side, grabbing his arm and gripping tightly.

"Goku! They told me not to tell you, but…I can't let them lie to you. It's so _mean_."

"Huh?" As far as Goku can tell, Kami is ranting nonsense. He tries to keep his cool so he can figure out what his friend is trying to say. "Who's lying to me? What is this about, Kami? Are you sure you didn't have a crazy dream or something?"

"No, I swear!" Kami says earnestly. "This really is serious, Goku. It's so mean I can't stand it." The look on Kami's face really does express distress, and it is enough to keep Goku silent. "Come on, Goku." Kami says, surprising Goku yet again by pulling Goku down one of the temple paths instead of just telling him what is going on.

Goku is compliant at first and allows Kami to drag him around like a doll. The small brunette really can be very patient if he puts his mind to it, though to be honest Kami's behavior is getting on his nerves much quicker than usual.

Frustrated but still being willingly pulled along, Goku follows Kami around the various buildings of the temple until they start creeping closer to one Goku knows to belong to Koumyou. The older monk has been kind to Goku, like a father really just as he was to Koryuu, so it unnerves Goku that he and Kami are sneaking around like they are up to no good.

"Will you just tell me what's going on, Kami?" Goku demands, at last pulling his arm out of Kami's hold. He puts his hands on his hips and looks as stern as he can. "I want to listen, Kami, but you're not telling me anything. And what are we doing outside Koumyou's rooms?"

"Shhh," Kami says in reply, finger to his mouth and everything. So often the blonde acts like a young child and today he seems truly infused with the spirit of immature youth. "You'll see, Goku." Kami says, waving Goku over to where he has crept. There is a window just above them and Kami peers inside.

Still a little skeptical, Goku shrugs and complies anyway. It really is best to just go along with Kami sometimes.

Over at the window, Goku has to stand on tiptoe to see inside. It is Koumyou's main room, looking much as Goku remembers it from the few times he has been inside. Koumyou is not there but several monkish things litter the floor. Goku doesn't really understand what most of it is.

Kami nudges Goku in the shoulder and points into the room at a particular pile of clothing and articles. "See that? Do you know what that is, Goku?" Kami asks.

To pacify the blonde's insistency, Goku looks where his attention has been directed. He tries really hard to guess what the things are. "I guess…maybe spare robes like the ones Koumyou wears. There's the crown and all that. Is it Sanzo robes, Kami?"

Kami nods. "But they're not spares. Those are new ones for the new Sanzo."

"Dougan?" Goku replies. He doesn't pay too much attention to the goings on of the temple, but he listens when Koryuu or Koumyou take the time to tell him things. He knows Dougan is supposed to be Koumyou's successor.

So it comes as quite the surprise that Kami shakes his head. "No, not Dougan, Goku. It was never going to be Dougan. Master and Koryuu lied to you. It's so mean too. So mean…"

"What?" Goku feels thoroughly lost now. Kami isn't making any sense. "Lied to me about what? If it's not going to be Dougan, then who is it?"

Kami's blues turn down at their edges, looking remarkably droopy. With such a serious expression and his eyes looking so much like Koryuu's, Goku remembers suddenly just how old Kami really is. "Don't you understand, Goku?" Kami says. "It's Koryuu. He's taking over for Master and leaving you behind."

Goku is too confused to understand these words completely, but the end of the phrase, the very idea of being left behind, makes him focus intently now. "Kami…" he starts, wanting to understand what the implications of all of this is if Kami is telling the truth. "Listen, okay? Even if Koryuu was going to do that—which doesn't make any sense—it wouldn't mean he was leaving me behind. I'd probably just end up living here at the temple."

It is admirable really that Goku can remain so poised and calm when Kami looks so serious, but the blonde does not share Goku's optimism. He shakes his head. "No, Goku. Koryuu said he would be the next Sanzo because he _wants_ to leave you. He's been planning to leave for weeks, he was just too afraid you'd go crazy on him."

What Kami is _saying_ is crazy. Goku won't believe it. He can't. Koryuu would never leave him. "Kami, this…this isn't funny. Please, stop saying these things. Koryuu and I are great. Why would he leave me?"

"Because itans can never know happiness, Goku. Not true happiness."

Goku feels his throat close up, clenching tight enough to cut off his breath and choke him. He knows the voice that has come upon him and Kami. But he never imagined it could sound so cold.

Turning slowly to face the source of the voice, Goku is penetrated to the core with shivers. Koumyou has found them. And as impossible as it may seem, there is something sinister in the monk's expression. If the building wasn't right at Goku's back, he would have to stumble a few paces away.

"Koumyou…?"

"I apologize, Goku. But what Kami has told you is the truth." Koumyou's voice is as cold as his expression. He stands tall and unmoving before the pair as he speaks. "Koryuu will be the next Sanzo. Even if he wished it, however, you would not be able to stay here. A heretic could never abide within the walls of a holy temple. I asked you here today to keep you out of Koryuu's way. He will be arriving at the temple tonight, you see. He didn't want to go about things this way, but we had no choice. You are so…unstable, after all."

Lies. _Lies_. Koryuu would never. He…would…never…

'_If this place had been deep within the earth…I never would have had to know loneliness…'_

"It's not true. Koryuu loves me. I know he does. You…you're lying!" Goku cries, shaking his head fiercely. He backs his way around Kami, carrying him further down the path. All he can think about is getting away from Koumyou. He has to get away…and find Koryuu. "You're lying!" Goku screams again, filling with an intense hatred he never thought he could feel for his love's master. "I'll prove you're lying!"

Turning to face front down the path, Goku takes off running, dashing his way around the temple buildings as fast as his legs can carry him. Distantly behind him he can hear Kami calling after his retreating form. But Koumyou's voice does not join it.

Goku believes in Kami's sincerity, but Koumyou…he can't believe Koumyou could be so cruel. Whatever the truth may be though, he refuses to take either of their words to heart. He knows Koryuu. He knows how Koryuu loves him and is so tender with him. It couldn't all be an act. It just…couldn't. It would be too cruel.

Though perhaps not nearly as cruel as the cracks beginning to form on Goku's diadem.

tbc...

A/N: Yay! Okay, sorry to give yet another cliffhanger, but...not really, coz I can't help it. Each chapter will only be worse as far as cliffhangers go. Hehehe. At least until the very end. Okay, I must say that the song I had Koryuu sing long ago was from the musical "Pippin." I kept forgetting that. And another thing is that in case some of you don't know it really is canon that little Gonou read Gensomaden Saiyuki, The Journey to the West, when he was a kid. In fact, I just rewatched that ep recently. Okay, I have to return to Easter festivities. Enjoy the torment you will endure until the end. :-) Thanks for still sticking with me. You guys make this worth it.

Crim


	20. Hell in a Handbasket

Hell in a Hand Basket

* * *

"I can't stand this anymore. It's….despicable."

"Sticks and stones, my dear. Sticks and stones…"

"You really have sunk lower than I ever thought possible. Have fun with your experiment, Doctor. I will be helping with preparations for Gyumaou's revival, as we are expected to."

"My dear Miss Hwan, you do not wish to stay?"

"Hmph." With a great flip of her hair and turn of her heels, Hwan leaves Nii to his musings and to the machines currently connected to the Sanzo-ikkou.

Nii does not move to stop her retreat. "Pity. She's going to miss the finale. Isn't she…my little dolls? Hehehehe…"

-----

_I couldn't save him…_

Helplessness overcomes Koryuu as he runs, playing out a mantra of 'you'll never be able to save him' in his head. He wishes his pessimistic side would shut up. He needs to be calm right now, even while his legs are burning from running so far and so frantic. He has to be strong. He has to be strong for Goku. Deep down he truly believes Goku can beat the demon inside of him, but why then does Koryuu fear the worst as his and Goku's little house comes into view?

No lights are on, Koryuu can see that much, and yet he knows Goku is inside the house. He feels it. The sun is low already and hidden behind trees. Goku would have turned on as many lights as possible, hating darkness as he does. This knowledge slows Koryuu's steps as he approaches the front door. They have relatively close neighbors, but the trees block the other houses from view. Their own home is isolated, and Goku within it.

A strangled cry breaks the dismal silence. Koryuu tenses, his hand inches from the doorknob. The cry had been…bestial. Animalistic in its pain. Koryuu's other hand tightens its grip on the banishing gun he is still holding, though he swears to himself he will not use it. He opens the door.

The house is darker than he imagined, darker than it should be when some sunshine still exists outside. Koryuu closes the door behind him despite knowing the act will cut off the little light that exists. He peers hard into the darkness. The cushions of the couch are disturbed, the lamp overturned, the kitchen sink running, a few dishes broken, every door in the house ajar. Somewhere there is Goku, but the silence in the house chills him deeply.

Seiten Taisei knows he is here.

"Goku!" he calls, not caring if his cry brings out the monster. He needs to see Goku. If his lover really has transformed, too strong for his limiter, than Koryuu must see him, must speak to him, and somehow…find a way to bring his Goku back. "Goku! Where--!" Koryuu cuts off abruptly, some unseen force having passed in front of him like wind and throwing him hard against the closed front door.

The house falls into silence again, but Koryuu is not fooled. Already he is being toyed with. He has to make a connection with Goku. He has to get the creature to look him full in the face and listen, if only for a moment.

"Goku!" he calls again. "You want to play! Fine! Come out and play then! I want to see the monster that plans to kill me!"

As he speaks, Koryuu keeps his voice even despite its volume, his face impassive. Within he is raging with more fear than he ever imagined he could feel. But it is not fear of what Seiten Taisei might do to him. It is a deeper fear, a selfless fear.

No, Koryuu thinks, this is not a selfless fear. He fears having to use the gun in his hand not out of sympathy for Goku but because he could not bear living without the boy in his life. It is the most selfish of reasons, really. He wants to bring Goku back for his own sake. It has always been for his own sake.

Another rush of wind passes Koryuu and his gun is suddenly several feet away. His hand stings slightly and he can see the barest hint of claw marks on it. Koryuu looks at the gun and debates diving for it, knowing he is mostly defenseless now, but he wants nothing to do with the gun.

"Don't do this…" he says, his voice no longer raised. With Seiten Taisei's hearing, what reason does he have to raise his voice? "Please…Goku. We're not enemies. Even with you like this we…we're not. There have been times you listened to me, times you knew me, recognized me. Remember that. Remember who I am. I'm Koryuu. You don't want to hurt me, Goku. Please…" Don't make me hurt _you_.

Koryuu does not voice this final phrase, but his heart thinks it, mourns it, and still, even with the gun so far away, he fears it.

"Goku--"

Slam. Koryuu falls forward suddenly, striking the cold floor. There is a great weight on top of him but he is allowed to turn himself over. He would wonder about such an allowance if it weren't for the smug look of the creature atop him.

"Goku…" Koryuu tries again. His voice could never tire of saying the name if it in any way can help him reach the younger man. "Goku, listen to me, please…"

Seiten Taisei growls low in his throat. The light in the room is so dim, Koryuu can only make out his mouth, the glint of fangs, of claws, and the eerie glow of golden eyes, now slit. He feels panic swell within him. Yes, he is worried for Goku's sake, but he has no desire to be the beast's plaything either.

The lamp is nearby, it should be nearby, and so Koryuu gropes back, trying to be discrete and quick at the same time. The lamp would make a poor weapon, but it would be something. Something hard he could use to fend the creature away. Even while he is blindly groping, he speaks on, hoping Goku will hear him and understand.

"You are strong, Goku. You are stronger than this." He says.

Clawed hands reach down to him and grip his shoulders, moments from reaching for his neck.

"You are powerful enough to break your limiter. You're _that_ strong. And I think it's wonderful." He goes on quickly, not wanting to show his fear. "You shouldn't have to be chained, ever. But now you have to prove you aren't something that needs to be chained. You're still Goku. I know you…are…" the last word chokes out. Those clawed hands have reached for Koryuu's neck after all, and they are not forgiving.

Koryuu hates that the darkness veils the creatures face. He wishes he could see him. He wishes he could see Goku. He wishes he could see _Goku_.

Still groping behind him, Koryuu makes a great effort to turn his body as much as Seiten Taisei's weight on him will allow, and finally his hand grips something. He clutches it tightly and pulls as hard as he can, expecting the lamp to be heavier, harder to shift than this, but it moves easily. He imagines it must be adrenaline pumping through him, but thinks little of it. He whips around, swings the object in his hand, and—

BANG.

The air catches in Koryuu's throat. For a moment Seiten Taisei's grip on his neck is so crushing, he thinks for certain he will die, but then, a moment later, the grip grows slack and falls away. Koryuu can smell the smoke. He can smell the blood. But no, he had reached for the lamp, he had swung the _lamp_. He couldn't have found…the gun.

But when Koryuu looks at his trembling hand he sees the impossible as proof. He had whipped it around so effortlessly, the gun went off without him even realizing. He had barely heard the sound of it firing, more focused on the feel of hands tight on his throat, and those same hands falling away.

"Goku…"

The weight on top of him is heavier now, all over him. In the dark, it is more difficult to lift himself and clutch at the body of his attacker. He can feel moisture soaking into his shirt. With a great groan of effort, he rolls Seiten Taisei off of him and onto his back on the floor. The light is still dim, but enough to illuminate the pain-ridden face, the wide eyes, and the perfectly aimed gunshot through the creature's heart.

Koryuu's body grows numb. His focus is not on the wound but on gold eyes. On the golden eyes, slit yes, but wide with wonder and…questioning. Seiten Taisei is asking him 'why' and he has no answer. He had not meant to fire. And looking at the beast like this Koryuu knows Seiten Taisei would not have hurt him either. He doesn't know how he knows it, but somehow it clicks. Goku had been trying to win, trying to beat the beast, and at the last moment before the gun fired, he…won.

Goku is in those eyes now. Goku is in the eyes…that are slowly dimming like the meager light.

"You…you're okay. Of course you are. You're in your true form. You're…stronger than anything. One…bullet…one shot…it…it's not enough to take you away. It can't be…"

A soft, muted cry escapes Seiten Taisei's throat. It can be, he seems to say. It _is_…

"Not by me. Not because of me…" Koryuu whispers, his hand shaking so hard the gun finally falls from it and loudly strikes the ground. Koryuu's eyes are distant, looking down at his dear love and lover and seeing only red, streaks and streaks of red. "Not because I was too weak…to save you…"

A clawed hand reaches up and grips Koryuu's forearm in agony, the creature's back arching off the ground. His claws dig into Koryuu's skin, drawing blood, but Koryuu is dulled to such pain. His pain runs much deeper.

"Goku…?"

Seiten Taisei's eyes start to fade, more and more, and soon begin to close. There are a few shudders, a few convulsions and further arches up from the floor, but when golden eyes fall shut, the creature ceases to move. His hand falls limp to his side, releasing Koryuu's now bloody arm, and he is still.

If ever time had slowed before, it becomes a crawl now. Koryuu cannot believe it. It hasn't happened. It isn't possible. In a moment, Goku will open his eyes and be…Goku. Even with all the extra hair, the fangs and claws, all of it, he will be Goku and he will be fine. A small voice in Koryuu's head assures him of that.

But there is a louder voice, a more sensible voice that tells him to wake up, to look at what lies in front of him, and realize…Goku is gone.

Because he couldn't save him.

"Goku…" he says again. And again. And again. Soon, he is screaming it. Screaming at a corpse that will not answer. "Goku!" And tears are flooding to his eyes and streaming without sobs, silent tears amidst his screaming.

Has he not felt this pain before, these exact tears? He feels the pain of Goku's loss like a memory relived, and it hurts all the more because he cannot remember why this feels so disgustingly familiar.

Gathering the cooling body of his lover into his arms, Koryuu screams on. He screams Goku's name. Soon the name gives way to a wordless lamentation of loss, keening out of him. He screams until his voice is gone and Goku's body is too cold to hold onto.

Barely a thought crosses his mind when he finally picks the gun up from the floor and brings it to his temple.

-----

_Maybe it would be better if I never existed…_

"What…the hell…?"

"You weren't due until seven, I thought, or did we miscommunicate somewhere down the line…Gojyo?" Gonou's voice is perfectly even despite his position. One might say he even sounds smug, like he wanted to get caught. Like he doesn't care. "We're not quite finished here, Gojyo, but if you'd like to join us--"

"Gonou, stop it." Koryuu cuts in, at least having the decency to look put out and embarrassed, not to mention ashamed. The blonde does his best to push Gonou off of him, but is met with stubborn resistance until finally he gets Gonou to move. Sitting up in a way that best hides his nakedness, Koryuu looks to the still stunned Gojyo with a pained expression. "Damn it, Gojyo…I never wanted it to turn out like this." He says.

Koryuu seems genuinely apologetic, but Gonou, sitting next to Koryuu with no regards to hiding his own naked body, almost scoffs at the sentiment. "Don't play innocent now, Kory dearest, I doubt Gojyo cares if you're sorry."

For a few tense moments more, Gojyo doesn't know how he feels. Is it possible that while he was thinking nothing but thoughts of his lover, his lover was thinking of someone else, _sleeping_ with someone else? He knows Gonou's reputation isn't much better than his own, but how many times did the brunette swear he and Koryuu were never together? Had it all been lies? Nothing but lies…?

What hurts most, much as it truly does pain him to admit it, is that his mother…had not been entirely wrong.

Blues eyes sparkling with intense anger, Gojyo's fists clench. Shock gives way to fury so easily, just as fury had taken over when he was with his mother. He wants to rip something apart, something fleshy and breakable. He wants to kick something until his toes are bruised, punch until his knuckles bleed. He wants to know how Gonou, the man who vowed love for him forever, could do this to him.

"Get out."

"What?" At first, Koryuu is not sure he heard Gojyo correctly since the youkai spoke so softly.

Gojyo's eyes burn like azure fire. "Get out." He says again, looking straight at Koryuu, though his glare moves easily to send some of its fury towards Gonou as well. "Get the fuck out of my house!" he yells finally.

He doesn't give Koryuu time to dress, but seizes the blonde's arm before he has even gathered all of his clothing, and physically hauls him out the door and into the yard. He slams the door shut, uncaring to the curses and yells that filter in from outside. As far as Gojyo is concerned, Koryuu can just as well walk home naked, for all he cares.

The fire is still in his eyes when he whirls around on Gonou. The brunette is casually putting on his own clothes, already zipping up his slacks. An aggravating smirk still lingers at the corner of Gonou's mouth.

Gojyo grabs Gonou by the arm, stopping the brunette from putting on his shirt. "I want…an explanation. _Now_."

Uncaring, Gonou pulls his arm free. Without speaking, he slips his white, fitted T-shirt over his head, taking his time as if taunting his companion purposely. "An explanation." Gonou restates, his voice crisp and cold. "Do you really need one? How did we meet again? Do you remember? A few random fucks and suddenly someone's toothbrush in the bathroom became every damn thing they own. I never said this would be forever."

"Like hell you didn't." Gojyo growls, holding his ground in front of Gonou like an immovable wall. "Forever." he says. "Exact words, ya damn bastard."

"And here I thought you knew me." Gonou replies, the cruelest smile hanging on his words. He crosses his arms, leaning his weight casually onto one leg. "You're the one who always said I was a swindler. Maybe you should have taken your own words to heart…koi."

Just as he had felt with his mother, Gojyo has the sudden desire to strike, to slap Gonou hard across his arrogant face. It is truly a feat of will that he does not. "Lies then? Is that what you're saying? All of it…was just…lies?" There is still anger in Gojyo's voice but sadness too, the kind of solemn pain that reaches so deep it becomes more akin to blind hatred. "Why?" Gojyo asks, his voice softer now. "I can't believe…that it really meant nothing."

Gojyo expects Gonou to look sympathetic, or at the very least to look as if he is in the wrong. After all, Gonou is the one who has been caught. Shouldn't he be trying to defend himself instead of acting so uncaring?

The frozen green of Gonou's eyes chill Gojyo more deeply than his mother's words. This is the man that is supposed to love him, more than any mother or brother or friend. If Gonou broke down right now and begged forgiveness Gojyo would give it to him. He would gladly start again if it meant he could still wake up to Gonou in his arms every morning.

He loves Gonou too much to live without him.

"Just listen to me for a sec," Gojyo starts, his demeanor shifting as he clings to the small bit of hope he is trying capture. He tentatively takes Gonou's hands and sits them both down on the couch. Gonou is somewhat unwilling but allows the act anyway. They sit there for a moment, hands released now, while Gojyo thinks and Gonou sits silently. "I'm mad as all hell at you right now," Gojyo admits, "But the fact I still wanna be with you even after seeing you and Kory…well…it's gotta mean I really wanna stay with you, huh?"

Gonou does not reply.

Staring intently down at his own wringing hands, Gojyo speaks on. "It's not like we were saints before we got together, right? One mess up, I can forgive that. We can just…forget today happened and keep going, can't we? Maybe I'm a fool, but I don't want this to mean we're through."

Gojyo's eyes lift to take in Gonou's reaction. The expression he finds is unreadable at first, hard and well-masked, so much so that even Gojyo cannot understand it. He was always able to read Gonou in the past, but today has presented a world of differences.

When the blankness on Gonou's face fades into something recognizable, Gojyo almost wishes he couldn't read it.

"That you are a fool doesn't even begin to explain it, Gojyo." Gonou says. His words are harsh, almost condescending, and though Gojyo has heard similar tones from Gonou before they have never been directed at him. "Here's the plain truth of it, since you don't seem to understand. This wasn't one mess up. Koryuu and I have been seeing each other for months."

"…what?"

"You've noticed it, I know you have. You've even commented, teased. We didn't try to hide that much. I suppose I'm the stupid one in the end. I assumed you'd get the picture, that you'd realize it was a lost cause and leave first. Well, the jokes on me then, but I am not sorry for what I have done. It was inevitable, Gojyo. I don't do forever."

These words, this even tempered truth can't possibly be how Gonou really feels. Can it? Gojyo looks down a moment, collecting his thoughts. When he whips his head to Gonou again, his face has rediscovered anger. "And what about Goku?" he bites. "How does he figure into your _fucking_ around? Or don't you care about him either?"

"Come now, Gojyo." Gonou practically sneers. Everything about his demeanor is darker. Nastier. "Did you really think Goku and Koryuu would stay together? That you and I would? Koryuu had a good time with Goku for years. I've had a good time too. But the fact of the matter is Koryuu is human. I'm human. The rest of the equation isn't that hard to figure out."

The words Gojyo's mother spoke to him come back into his mind, playing over and over again like a requiem. He had scoffed, he had sneered, he had disagreed with his mother contemptuously. It hurts more than he can stand right now that Gonou is treating him the same way. Gojyo's mother was right. She predicted it. She knew all along…that Gojyo would never be enough.

If only he had been born different.

But anger continues to surge in Gojyo as well, fierce anger. Many times Gonou swore up and down that race, gender, none of it mattered. Gonou would give sermons on the importance of open-mindedness. Did a few months of fucking Koryuu change his mind, or was he swindling Gojyo from day one? Neither possibility eases any of Gojyo's pain.

"This is such bullshit."

"Yes, I thought you'd say that."

"You did promise forever. And it never mattered what blood ran in my veins or how I looked. A few rounds with Kory and you're turning tail and running?"

Gonou sighs at length, seemingly bored with the conversation. "I'm not trying to be brutal here, Gojyo, but you may leave me no choice." Dark emeralds turn their full force onto Gojyo, boring into the deepest blue. "This isn't running. This is surviving. You were fun. I don't regret a single day. But I don't regret a stolen hour or two with Koryuu either. I said 'forever' because it was what you wanted to hear. But we can't have forever. In the end, Gojyo…the fun, the sex, the sweet sentiments…it's just not enough."

It's never enough.

"The truth is…I don't love you the way I made you think. Could a human really ever love a demon?"

This question is left open to the air, a question for no one to answer. Several minutes pass, Gojyo feeling…numb. Wholly numb. When Gonou finally gets up from the couch and leaves him, Gojyo barely notices. He hears the shuffling inside the bedroom that tells of Gonou packing a bag. He vaguely hears Gonou say he will come back later for the rest of his things, that he will stay with Kanan for a while. But Gojyo only lifts his head at the sound of the door slamming shut.

Numb does not do justice to how Gojyo feels. Empty. Hollow. Carved out and left for dead. Whatever light there was in him, it is now gone. It walked out the door and left him alone.

The only thought Gojyo has before heading into the kitchen to find…something…anything…_sharp_, is that he deserves this. It is better like this. If he cannot be enough for those he loves most, then what reason does he have to go on living.

-----

_Someone kill me…_

Gonou cannot run fast enough. His legs will not obey him, will not carry him as he wishes to be carried. He should be flying, soaring over the paths towards the little house he shares with Gojyo, but his legs move like they are knee-deep in mud. He trudges on regardless, panicked, feeling bile in his throat and dearly hoping that the ominous feeling in his chest is not a prophecy.

There are several figures moving about the yard, a few even coming out the front door when Gonou gets close enough to the house to really see it. He shouts at the many figures, and despite their greater number, they scatter. He saw not a single face, or recognizable form, but he could tell that most were men and that all of them were human.

A few of them…were covered in blood.

Gonou reaches the front door and throws it open. The strangest pain envelopes him at the sight he sees. There is no Gojyo, not in his direct line of sight, but the furniture is turned over, clothing strewn over the living room, and the lights are all broken. He feels an ache in his stomach and clutches at a spot just above his navel. It is peculiar, but he ignores the odd pain. He must find Gojyo. He must find him quickly.

He calls out his lover's name, searching frantically through the house. He looks through every corner of the living room and kitchen. But when his hand reaches for the bathroom door he immediately abandons the idea. His eyes have caught sight of the bedroom, its door slightly slid open. He knows then, without clear reason at all, that Gojyo is in there.

"Gojyo…" He says, not calling, not needing to.

Even in the dark he can see the blood, the mutilated limbs, the ugly remnants of chest and stomach. Gonou's first though is to retch, but his second overcomes the first and he dives forward, falling to his knees beside his wounded friend. He could not possibly describe what those men did to Gojyo, but torture does not do it justice for how the youkai is torn and bleeding. Gonou is shocked that Gojyo is still alive or that he can even open his eyes, but when Gonou crouches, reaching out to take his lover into his arms, the youkai stirs.

"Gojyo! You're alive!" he cries, his somber smile wide with disbelief. He wants to hug Gojyo close but fears aggravating the already angry wounds. "Please, please hang in there…"

"G-Gonou…"

"Yes. Yes, Gojyo, I'm here. Right here…"

Gojyo tries to speak again, but a fit of coughing rising up in him and he has to turn away from Gonou, spitting blood onto the floor. When he recovers, he doesn't even have the strength to wipe the remnants of blood from his mouth. "What an…idiot I am…" he says, dulled eyes looking up, but not seeing. "They were just a…buncha…stupid kids. It shoulda been…easy."

"It's okay, Gojyo. It doesn't matter." Gonou says. He wants to hear Gojyo's voice and yet he fears letting his companion speak too much. It seems so painful to him, so taxing. Gonou wants Gojyo to conserve as much of his strength as he can. "Listen, Gojyo, I need to call for help, oka--"

A trembling hand grips Gonou's arm with the strength only a dying man has, ceasing Gonou's words. Gojyo's eyes are glazed, but he looks up into Gonou's face as intensely as he can. "No…" he says, his voice shaking and softer now, growing softer and softer so quickly. "Don't…don't leave."

"Gojyo, please." Gonou tries. "I have to call for help. I don't have the knowledge to help you myself. Even if I did, it would take more than a single man. You've lost too much blood. Please, let me call--"

"No!" The word is too strangled to be a true cry, but it stops Gonou's words again. Gojyo clings more desperately, trying to curl his body as tight against Gonou as he can, as if trying to fuse himself to his lover's body, seeking warmth. Seeking comfort. "Gonou…don't…don't…leave me…"

The tears that have already welled within Gonou's eyes fall harder, streaming like a downpour. He has never been a man that cried easily, but the tears erupt like a dam giving way under too much weight. What tears he has held back over the years seem to spill out of him all at once now.

The words Gojyo is speaking, the look on Gojyo's face, it is a plea for pity. The plea of someone who does not want to die alone.

"I should have been here. I should have been here…to protect you."

"Hey…now…who says I need…protecting?" Gojyo grins, as much as he can muster a grin. The twinkle in his eyes is not as brilliant as it once was, but it lingers still. Gojyo is trying to be his usual self, even in his current state. When a new wave of pain sweeps through him, however, he loses that grin. "Go…Gonou…!"

"I'm here!" Gonou shouts, afraid he is losing Gojyo too much for the youkai to understand. Holding Gojyo as close and as fully as he dares, Gonou tries to keep Gojyo's head raised, to keep Gojyo's attention on him. "Please, Gojyo, you must hang on. If I could just call someone…"

But Gojyo shakes his head. He does not want help. He knows it would mean nothing. "Gonou…" he says, no longer able to raise his head on his own. He looks into his lover's face, and though his eyes are even more glazed now, Gonou knows Gojyo can see him. "It's okay. I know my…number's up."

"Don't say that."

"Sorry, gorgeous…but I could never bring myself…to lie to you."

Gonou's eyes clench shut. No, this can't be happening. Gojyo is not trying to say goodbye. This is not the end. The life they have built together is not going up in flames.

"Even if…you got a doctor here…what could he do?" Gojyo says, knowing that nothing could be done just as Gonou knows too. He may not be able to see his body or the full extent of the wounds on it, but he can feel the damage. He can feel that he has lost too much blood. Maybe…even if he could be saved…it wouldn't be worth it. "Gonou, I…don't wanna leave…but I don't think I get to argue my side…this time."

"Gojyo…"

Gojyo tries to say more but cringes as another wave of pain rips through him. "Damn…those bastards…it…_hurts_…"

Pulling Gojyo closer, Gonou lifts his lover's head as close to his own as he is capable. "Gojyo…tell me, please. What can I do? Anything. I'll do anything. Whatever you want from me to help the pain, whatever you want from me for _anything_. Please…"

The youkai is shaking in such utter anguish now, Gonou is unsure whether or not Gojyo has heard or understood. But when blue eyes lift to regard him, dim but thoughtful, and Gojyo finally speaks, the two words that are spoken hurt more than having to hold Gojyo's broken body.

Surely, Gonou has not heard correctly. Surely, Gojyo would never ask this of him. But even as Gonou shakes his head in wonder, the same two words leave Gojyo's lips again.

"Kill me…"

All the blood drains from Gonou's face, and for a moment he thinks he might swoon. "Gojyo…please…do not ask this of me."

"You have to…Gonou. I…I can't…take it."

"Please, please don't ask this of me."

Gojyo's grip is becoming looser as he clings to Gonou, not because he is fading but because he is trembling in pain so fiercely. He could live for hours in this awful state, even if nothing would be enough to save him. But Gojyo does not want to live through this pain if it means death still waits at the end of it. He just wants release.

He wants Gonou to release him.

"Gonou…please…kill me…"

The tears falling from Gonou's eyes do not still their descent.

There are several weapons in the bedroom that have been left behind by Gojyo's attackers. Finally conscious of them enough to notice their presence, Gonou looks to each of them. Within reach is a very simple…dagger.

No. He couldn't. Gojyo is asking him to do this, but how can he…?

"Kill me. Gonou, please…it's…too much. Please…just…let me…go. _Please_…"

Part of Gonou wants to scream, to yell at Gojyo to shut up, to stop pleading for something so horrible. But another part begs for Gonou to see reason, to understand why Gojyo is asking this, and why…he has no choice but to do as he has been requested. If it were him he would want the same thing. He would not want to pointlessly suffer if death could be offered by a loving hand.

Gonou nods once, very slowly, and without really looking at it, reaches for the nearby knife. How should he do this? Through the heart? The head? The throat, Gonou finally decides. It would be easiest in his current state, and hopefully the quickest.

Lifting Gojyo in his arms a bit better, Gonou looks down into glazed blue and leans forward to kiss blood-tinged lips. Gojyo is in too much pain to respond, but the youkai's mouth twitches, trying to smile, trying to say…thank you.

All thought of words, of actually saying goodbye, or even that he loves Gojyo seem…irrelevant. Carefully laying Gojyo on the floor, Gonou does not once turn his eyes from Gojyo's face as he raises the dagger, releasing a resonant scream that lingers on long past the blow, and brings the weapon down.

-----

_He gave me a world far brighter than the sun…_

"Koryuu!" Goku calls, absently rubbing the bit of skin and hair along the edge of his diadem. He doesn't know why it feels funny, nor does he care. His thoughts are on something entirely different. "Koryuu!" he calls again.

After a few moments, a very startled and flustered Koryuu comes out of the bedroom, leaving the door ajar. Inside Goku can see the bags, see Koryuu's things scattered over the room that proves Koryuu had been packing. He does not, however, see any extra bags, or any of his own things being packed along with the blonde's.

"No…it's not…true."

"Goku--"

"It's not true, it's not!" Goku yells. His fists are tight at his sides, his eyes wide, his body trembling. And his limiter…slowly cracking. "Koumyou said so, Kami said so, but…but it's not true. It's not…" The hysterics in Goku's face fade into sobs. Goku cannot move. Goku cannot think. This is all…too horrible to be real.

Holding his hands out as if in defense, as if staying a wild animal, Koryuu approaches, though he does not get any closer to Goku than a few feet. "Goku, listen. I don't know what happened, or what Koumyou and Kami told you, but just…stay calm, okay?"

"Calm?" Goku repeats, feeling anything but. "How…how can I be calm? You're…leaving. You're going to the temple and leaving me behind. You…_want_ to leave me."

"Goku, please--"

"Don't you love me anymore!" Goku cries, his voice cracking in likeness to the small cracks on his limiter.

Koryuu sees this, sees the fissures, and knows now unstable the ground he is treading on has become. "Goku, you have to be calm. Just…listen to me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to have to do things like this, but…there was no other way. Maybe it was stupid. Maybe I was…afraid, but if you want the truth I'll tell you. I _am_ leaving for the temple. And _no_…you can't come with me."

Further tears fill Goku's eyes. He is severely shaking now, barely standing, and more fissures break out over his coronet in the wake of it.

"But it's not because I don't…love you. It's just…how things are."

Goku shakes his head. No, Koryuu is lying. He always knows when Koryuu is lying. Or…he thought he did. Maybe he missed a thousand other lies, but right now he is certain Koryuu is not speaking the truth. Never before has Koryuu hesitated when saying he loves him. Never before has Koryuu ever looked so…frightened.

Of _him_.

"They said…you were afraid I'd freak out. You were afraid…my limiter would break." Goku's voice quivers, but he speaks in the eeriest semblance of calm. "You lied…you kept secrets and _lied_ about loving me just so I wouldn't get out of control. Did you ever…love me? Or was it just…convenient until you were ready to leave?"

Koryuu is not fooled by Goku's 'calm'. He holds up his hands higher, more defensive now. "Goku…I know I should have been up front with you, but it wasn't all lies. I just…I…" Suddenly, Koryuu shakes his head and stomps his foot on the floor, his hands lowering. It looks as though some shield Goku never knew existed has just dropped, and when Koryuu speaks again, Goku knows…he is speaking the truth. "I just can't take it. You want the truth? The real truth? Maybe it was convenient. Maybe I did lie. But the real reason I'm leaving for the temple…is I can't stand the thought of that _thing_ touching me."

Several of the cracks on Goku's coronet join with others, becoming larger. Menacing.

"Your crown keeps him away, but for how long? Are those practices of your really doing anything? It's been years, Goku, and nothing. He's still inside you. And even if you don't want to believe it…he's the _real_ you. I really am sorry this is how things had to end. I wanted to make this easier on you. I tried. But no, you couldn't allow that. So I'm sorry, but I don't want to be with a monster anymore."

The sorrow that fills Goku is washed away quickly by an overwhelming sense of…anger. Pure, burning anger. All of it had been lies. All of it pointless. All of it…gone now…because Goku is a monster.

Nothing but a monster.

And as much as it hurts, when Koryuu turns away from him to turn back towards the bedroom, Goku knows the words he has just heard are the full and honest truth. How Koryuu really feels. How things really are. The reality is what finally makes it more than he can stand.

Goku screams, the cracks running together more and more until so little of the limiter is intact, there is nothing for it to do but break apart.

Koryuu turns back at the sound of Goku's scream. He knew this would happen. He expected it, and yet he had still spoken the truth and turned his back on the beast. Sooner than he could ever hope to escape, it is not Goku that stands before him, but…Seiten Taisei.

Those are the thoughts of Koryuu, but Goku's are far more interesting. His limiter has broken, yes, but his thoughts are…clearer. He understands what is happening. He is _aware_. He is Seiten Taisei…but he is Goku also. Never before has he known this feeling and it is so strange, so…liberating.

One thing that does remain, however, is that Goku is still very, very angry…with Koryuu.

Slit eyes look up at Koryuu and glare. Goku hisses, Goku growls, and he loves the feel of those sounds in his throat. He flexes his claws. He licks his lips. He has never felt so powerful and alive, and his anger fuels that feeling. His anger fuels every intention in him.

But something isn't right. Goku's anger is so great, and part of him really does want to lunge forward and show Koryuu that anger, but there is a part of him that does not. He tries to focus on how different this feels. Yes, he is aware, but it is more than that. He feels powerful, strong, free, but it is still…wrong. Almost…fabricated. Goku remembers little from the times he is Seiten Taisei, but he still remembers feelings. Sometimes he can even vaguely remember thoughts. But this is not how Seiten Taisei thinks and feels. This is…this is wrong.

Goku roars.

Koryuu flinches.

But Goku does not care about Koryuu anymore. Even as Goku looks to the terror-ridden blonde, he only assures himself more that this is wrong. His anger increases, his lust for something greater, for something more increases with it and he roars again.

If this is wrong, if this is not Koryuu and he is not Seiten Taisei, than where is Koryuu? Where is…Goku?

His anger heightened to such an impossible degree, Goku continues to cry out, growling and howling at the ceiling and ignoring the fearful Koryuu. He is so angry, so panicked with wonder, that he feels his limiter begin to crack. _Again_.

Goku knows this is wrong, that this is impossible. His limiter has already broken…hasn't it?

Fueled further yet, Goku's anger grows, and with it Goku feels his limiter breaking more and more. He cannot explain it. He reaches up to touch his head and finds nothing, nothing but his wild, longer hair. And yet he knows, somehow he can feel it, that his limiter still exists, that Seiten Taisei is still at bay.

Or was at bay…until the limiter Goku knew beyond a doubt was still atop his head, shatters into countless, tiny pieces.

-----

"Isn't that fascinating…" Nii says, more interested than concerned.

He rises from his chair and looks on curiously as the last of the bits of gold fall to the laboratory floor. The boy it once belonged to easily breaks free of the bonds holding him to the machines and hops down to join the remnants of his limiter.

Nii studies this new figure. He knew of its existence but has never had the pleasure of a private, personal audience. The creature is quite magnificent really. Long, flowing hair, slit gold eyes with an impossible radiance, sharp fangs, claws to rival any youkai's, and a truly amazing grin that would send chills down any normal human's spine.

"I commend you. Perhaps I didn't give you enough credit. The beast seems to have its own rules, hmm?"

Seiten Taisei does not respond in words. He growls, readying his footing in front of Nii. He is confused, but still angry. Something had been wrong, hadn't it? Something had been wrong about Konzen. Did this…man…have something to do with that? Seiten Taisei hardly cares either way, but hesitates in striking this strange…person before him. After all, it does not give off any familiar scent. It is…without recognition.

"How flattering. It seems you're as fascinated by me as I am by you. But you know what you should really be concentrating on?" A steady arm stretches out and Nii points past Seiten Taisei at the machines beyond.

Rarely fearful of anything, Seiten Taisei does not think it foolish to look, and turns his head as prompted. When his bright, golden eyes take in the sight before him, his grin returns in full force. Turning back around to address the strange creature again, he is disturbed to find the man gone. Seiten Taisei had not sensed anything that would indicate movement. How had the creature escaped?

Deciding it is far less important than other things at the moment, Seiten Taisei gladly turns back to the machines, and to the bond and dormant figure of his glorious, blonde sun. Seiten Taisei runs his tongue over his chapped lips, grinning more wildly now. When he speaks, his voice is rough from disuse, as always.

"Konzen…"

tbc...

A/N: Yes, I know I'm evil. Isn't it wonderful. I'll try to be prompt with the next part. But then again...I do have all these ideas for one shots. Maybe I'll take a break... ;-) Don't ya just love me? Hee. You certainly seem to, because the reviews for last chapter were awesome. Thanks, everyone. One reviewer did say I was losing them, and if you could elaborate, I would appreciate that. Otherwise, thanks all, and I'll keep 'em coming. :-)

Crim


	21. The beginning of the End

The beginning of the end

* * *

Hands shooting out to strike the cold floor and catch himself, Hakkai feels air rushing into his lungs as if he has been breathing shallow for hours. There is sweat on his skin, making his shirt cling to him uncomfortably, but he feels cold, chilled to the bone. He is shaking. His hands barely support him, even with his knees planted firmly on the floor as well. He has fallen from a minor height but he barely remembers waking.

Had he really been asleep? Had his nightmare…really been just a dream?

"Hakkai…?"

A gasp rips from Hakkai's throat. That voice. Is he imagining it? In the dream…the _dream_…he had held the owner of this voice in his arms as it spoke for the last time. The last words he heard from it had been so final, so disturbingly real and painful. Kill me, it had said. _Kill me…_

"Hakkai!"

A hand grips Hakkai's shoulder hard, shaking him, shaking him roughly to bring him back to his senses. Pulled to the sound of that voice, Hakkai lifts his head, but still does he find it a miracle when the dearest object of his affection comes into view. "Gojyo…"

The hanyou has crouched down beside Hakkai, just as shaken and damp with sweat as the brunette. Besides being obviously fatigued, Gojyo appears everything like his normal self, with every one of his accessories. Hakkai realizes then that he too has everything that belongs on his person, from his sash and monocle to his headband. It seems they had simply been plucked from the ground in their unconsciousness and placed in the large machine behind them. And yet now, somehow, they are free from it.

For a moment Hakkai and Gojyo look away from one another to stare at the large machine that had held them prisoner. It is indescribably large, covered with tubes and monitors that are projecting stilled images of the last things any of them saw while dreaming. Hakkai does not quite understand the image of youkai Gojyo standing in the kitchen, which is projected over an empty space he images Gojyo must have fallen from. Next to that he can see what is undoubtedly his own monitor, for Gonou's hands are still grasping the knife that is now plunged into youkai Gojyo's throat.

Hakkai shudders. It had been a dream, a nightmare, completely false in every way, and yet even with Gojyo next to him and with the hanyou's hand still gripping his shoulder, Hakkai is filled with such overwhelming _fear_. The emotions he knew only moments ago in the dreamworld are still with him, clinging to his spirit like a virus. Each breath he takes only makes the pain worsen.

"Hakkai…hey." Gojyo calls, his voice soft and tender. He has looked away from the monitors, though he understands what Hakkai must have gone through and knows his friend must be having some very unfair déjà vu.

Losing something is one thing. Losing something and getting it back only to lose it again is pure hell.

"Hey…look at me, huh? I'm fine. I'm right here." Gojyo says, shaking Hakkai's shoulder as he had before, only gentler now. "Please…look at _me_, not that bullshit up there. It wasn't real. It was some sick joke and evil as hell, but it wasn't real. _Hakkai_." Gojyo really doesn't want to have to slap Hakkai to get his lover's attention, and thankfully, with the final stress on Hakkai's name, the brunette turns to Gojyo and his emeralds start to focus.

"A…dream." Hakkai repeats. "Yes…yes, Gojyo, I know it was just a dream. And if that was a dream then you're…real, aren't you?" A tentative hand reaches out to grip Gojyo's arm, squeezing it a little harder than Hakkai means to if only to be sure the redhead is indeed tangible.

Emerald and crimson meet, and Hakkai, having confirmed the kappa's solid form, holds their gaze only a moment before getting up more full onto his knees and embracing Gojyo with every ounce of worn strength in him. Hakkai breathes out Gojyo's name several times, a few dry sobs cracking the air, and holds firm, not wanting to let go.

The dream had been too real, too close to memories from the past, and with such a horrific twist. Hakkai will always blame himself for failing Kanan, but he cannot imagine how it might have been to find her half-dead and to have been the one to deal that final blow. Somehow, having to do so to Gojyo had been even more wrenching than watching Kanan take her own life. Instead of being helpless he had been active in the process. Active in Gojyo's…death.

Hakkai's sobs remain dry but his hold on Gojyo tightens.

Gojyo says nothing for some time. He knows that holding Hakkai right now is better than any fumbled words. He speaks soothing tones that isn't words at all and somehow knows the gentle rising and falling of his voice, even if he isn't really saying anything, is all the comfort Hakkai's needs other than a warm embrace.

At long last Hakkai is willing to part from Gojyo and pulls back, face pained but smiling now. It wasn't real, and as hard as the images were, the experiences were, he is back in reality now with Gojyo right beside him.

"Hakkai…?" Gojyo says, his voice still very dim.

"Yes, Gojyo?"

Gojyo pauses a moment before finally asking, "You wouldn't ever really sleep with droopy-eyes, right?"

"…excuse me?"

The complete shock and slight grimace that accompanies Hakkai's question is all the answer Gojyo needs. "Nothing. Just checking."

Hakkai decides it may be best not to ask.

Helping one another up from the floor, the pair takes another few moments to check over the machinery, studying more closely the remaining two monitors. They can very easily guess which monitor is Sanzo's because the blonde is frozen on his knees with Seiten Taisei on his lap and a revolver pressed to his temple, the trigger being pulled though the moment of impact has been stalled. The other they realize is Goku's then, although both Koryuu and Seiten Taisei are also in this one. Koryuu is in the background while Seiten Taisei clutches his crownless head. They aren't entirely sure what that is supposed to mean.

Turning to better survey the rest of the large room, at least on this side since there does seem to be more of the room on the other side of the machine, Hakkai is the first of the two to notice Sanzo. The monk is standing only a few yards from them.

Hakkai is about to call out to the man when he recognizes the look of sheer horror on Sanzo's face. Before Gojyo can speak in Hakkai's stead, the healer holds out his arm to still any possible words and follows Sanzo's frightened gaze. Gojyo, understanding, does the same, and neither man can quite bring themselves to move after what they see.

Sanzo's voice braves the quiet. "No…" he breathes, perhaps not even aware of Hakkai and Gojyo's presence. Why must his be the nightmare that comes true? Why does it always have to come down to _this_?

Seiten Taisei is about the same distance from Sanzo as Gojyo and Hakkai are, only further from the machine. Thinking more clearly now, it is obvious that the damage done to the machine was caused by frantic, unknowledgeable strikes. More than likely…strikes by claws. Though they can only guess that Seiten Taisei attacked the machine in anger, or possibly to ensure his prey would be conscious when he played with them, they are not at all feeling like the beast is their rescuer. His expression is too hungry for that, they think. Hungry for something, though they are unsure what.

"No…" Sanzo breathes again, even while he is reaching into his robes for his gun.

He does not question why it is still neatly tucked where it always is, or why the fan and various other things he keeps in his sleeves are still with him. Perhaps later he will wonder at the arrogance of Ukoku, or the negligence, but now he is most definitely thinking of the cruel irony considering the nightmare he had been forced to live.

Pointing the gun steadily at the still but always unpredictable creature before him, Sanzo does not even try to mask his expression. He can aim and he can fire, but he will not lie to himself any longer. If he pulls the trigger, the bullet that follows will be for himself, and his face betrays that. His face shows every last bit of his sorrow.

And yet Sanzo still aims, still readies the weapon, and waits for Seiten Taisei to move. He should pull the trigger now, and he knows it, for the beast is stronger than him, faster than he can shoot. But no, Sanzo will wait. If Seiten Taisei moves, he will fire. He knows now…he has no other choice.

As Sanzo expects, Seiten Taisei does indeed move, but not quickly, not challengingly. Still looking hungry for something even Sanzo cannot quite identify, the beast takes a single, slow step forward. Sanzo cocks the gun, his violets locked on gold, locked on…_gold_…

Sanzo hesitates. His finger ready on the trigger, he hesitates. What did the nightmare understand that he is forgetting? What have his own nightmares shown him, long before Ukoku built that dreamworld prison?

Seiten Taisei for his part is fascinated. The blonde creature looks more alive and brilliant than he remembers, perhaps due to the abundance of emotion on a face that is so often walled off like stone. He had happily gone for Konzen, quickly realizing the machine holding them was tightly connected and that he had to destroy it if he was going to awaken them.

_Them_. Seiten Taisei had noticed the others and had made certain they were freed too. He freed them all because of the great hunger in him to do so, compiling with so many other hungers he never used to care about. He can only vaguely recall the awful dream he was having. He remembers Konzen looking very weak and frightened. He remembers being angry, but he remembers that the Konzen he was angry with was not really Konzen. No, Konzen is the creature before him now, pointing that small weapon but unable to use it.

Konzen. _Konzen_…

Konzen is the one that haunts him, the one that is always there. Konzen rejected him, refused to submit to him, but…Konzen speaks soothingly to him and tries to explain things, to comfort him and understand him. He was angry with Konzen in that strange dream place because…because he wanted it to be Konzen but it wasn't. He…wants Konzen. He is…hungry for Konzen, but…but…he is hungry for more than what he has been hungry for in the past. He is hungry for something he never understood before now.

He is hungry for _Sanzo_.

He remembers Sanzo. Yes, the golden creature before him is not Konzen, not…Koryuu. He is Sanzo, and Sanzo does not want to trap Seiten Taisei or trick him. Sanzo wants to be with Seiten Taisei and make everything better. Sanzo wants to feed every last one of Seiten Taisei's hungers.

Suddenly, the beast is acutely aware of those many hungers. But he has picked up on a scent, on one not coming from the three men in front of him. It is a scent he understands, though he could not sense the man it belongs too. But it does not matter if he cannot sense what that strange man is; he can smell him. And if he can smell him then he can find him. And he thinks—no, somehow he _knows_—that Konzen…Sanzo…wants him to find that man. Seiten Taisei is hungry, yes, and one thing he is hungry for is to finally be what Sanzo wants him to be, because now he understands that Sanzo…_is_ Konzen, and Konzen is Sanzo. He doesn't understand why he didn't realize this before, but he looks hard at Sanzo now and grins.

Sanzo gasps. Buried beneath the slit eyes and all that fierce, more brilliant gold, Seiten Taisei is hungry indeed. He is hungry for food, Sanzo realizes, which tickles the monk's throat with laughter he does not release. The beast is hungry for laughter, too, he thinks, and for games that have nothing to do with hurting his friends. He is hungry for all the things _Goku_ is so often hungry for. Because…

…he _is_ Goku.

Sanzo lowers the gun. There is not a doubt in his mind. Goku may not be wholly in control, Seiten Taisei may not be wholly aware of everything, but Goku is looking out through those eyes and Sanzo is no longer afraid. "Go." He says, their mutual understanding solidified by a single word imbued with complete trust.

Seiten Taisei blinks out of existence, having moved so fast he simply evaporated. Hakkai and Gojyo, not part of the exchange that just occurred, ready their weapons—Gojyo summoning shakujou and Hakkai gathering chi. They wait, poised, assuming Seiten Taisei is about to attack.

No attack comes.

Sanzo, ignoring the others, checks his gun. It is loaded and ready. And so is he. Without looking at his companions he says, "Let's go," and starts heading for the exit on the far wall where he knows Seiten Taisei exited moments before.

"What?" Gojyo asks, weapon still ready. He regards Sanzo as if the monk has finally lost his ever-loving mind. "Hello, did you notice fang-boy on the loose or has Mr. Pissy finally gone psycho?"

Hakkai is slightly more tactful. "Sanzo?" he says, leaving it at that. A prompt.

Sanzo stops, halfway to the exit, and stares at his readied gun before finally looking to his companions. "He's gone on ahead. We don't have much time. He'll clear the way for us to wherever Ukoku has gone. I'm betting that bastard hasn't run for it. He's still in the castle and Goku knows how to find him. He'll wait for us, but we better get moving." Without another word, Sanzo turns from them, continuing towards the exit.

"Hey!" Gojyo calls, lowering shakujou but not feeling entirely comforted right now. "Just how the hell do you know all that!"

Once again Sanzo stops, the door just in front of him now. He does not turn back to address Gojyo and his voice though loud enough to carry is dim. "…I don't know." He says.

He is being as honest as he can. He does not know. He does not know how or why Goku is suddenly more prominent in Seiten Taisei's personality. Maybe the truth is, Goku isn't. Maybe Seiten Taisei just sees the benefit of helping. Whatever the change in the beast, Sanzo is convinced of what he knows, of what he understood when looking into golden eyes. It doesn't have to make sense.

With Sanzo holding still by the exit and Hakkai and Gojyo back by the machine, nothing but the sounds of broken beeps and rising steam echoes in the room. The voice that finally breaks the quiet is Gojyo's.

"Well…that's good enough for me." He says. He holds shakujou at his side, ready but not too ready.

Hakkai, next to Gojyo, smiles and nods in agreement, though Sanzo is still turned from them and cannot see it. Words are not always necessary, though, especially in this group, and Sanzo understands they will follow him and believe even when there is no explanation.

Taking the first few steps towards Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo feel about as ready as they could ever hope to for the oncoming battle, but before they reach the monk, Hakkai has a sudden feeling of unease. He excuses himself and dashes quickly to the other side of the machine. Sanzo and Gojyo wait—a little anxiously—for Hakkai to reappear. They hear him call out rather than catch him in their sights again.

"I was right!" the healer cries. "Kougaiji, Dokugakuji, and Miss Yaone are over here, hooked up to this side of the machine as we had been! But…I don't see any sign of Lirin!"

"We don't have time for this!" Sanzo yells back. He believes Goku will wait for them, that Goku as Seiten Taisei is out there clearing them a path, but he is still worried.

"Sanzo, they are still hooked up! We can't leave them!"

"Find a switch and shut the damn thing off then! We have to go! Now!"

"Yes, Sanzo!"

Gojyo scoffs a little at Sanzo's impatience—and at Hakkai's acquiescence—though deep down he is just as nervous to get things moving. He remains silent next to Sanzo as they wait for Hakkai to find some way of shutting the remaining part of the machine down.

It is only a few minutes before they hear more staggered beeps join the rest and see new streams of steam emitting from the other side of the room. Hakkai appears moments later, alone.

"They are free but still unconscious. Lirin was not with them, however, and that disturbs me. Perhaps--"

"They can worry about the brat when they wake up. We're leaving." Sanzo cuts in, spinning on his heals.

Hakkai wishes to protest but understands Sanzo's urgency. He decides in the end not to question the choice of leaving the Kougaiji-tachi behind.

Instead, it is Gojyo who speaks.

"Wait. We're forgetting something."

It takes all of Sanzo's strength not to snarl at yet another distraction. "Damn you, kappa, we can't afford to wait for them. They can take care of themselves and so can we."

"Hey, I know that." Gojyo replies, the strangest little grin hanging on his lips. He turns to Hakkai then and makes a small but very obvious gesture at the brunette's left ear.

Hakkai's eyes widen. "Gojyo…"

"It's pretty damn likely this is the be-all, end-all, right? Gotta be at our best."

"But I…"

Gojyo continues grinning, but his eyes take on a serious darkness, reminiscent of Hakkai's most damning and frightful expression. It is a look that warns. Gojyo really is sick of Hakkai always beating himself up and not believing in himself. He knows Hakkai can handle being without his limiters if he has something to focus on. Well, ripping this Ukoku guy to shreds sounds like plenty of motivation to stay focused.

After a few moments of locked eyes—and after Sanzo has huffed and stamped his foot in annoyance with the pair, not caring either way what Hakkai does just so long as it doesn't become more of a nuisance than a help—Hakkai starts to see thing from Gojyo's perspective. He has proven a mild amount of restraint and control, and after all, if ever he needed a reason to use his full powers, now would be it.

"If you would be so kind, Gojyo…" Hakkai says, plucking the limiters off in a single swipe of his hand and handing them to Gojyo for safekeeping.

Gojyo takes them gladly and pockets them, not hiding his pleasure at seeing the incredibly swift change of Hakkai into his smooth and amazingly sexy youkai form. Hakkai shudders and breathes heavily as his ears become pointed, as the vines grow and so much of him turns sharp, but it is easier than before and is soon over.

When iridescent green eyes look up, slit like Seiten Taisei but with even more understandable determination, there is no hesitance from anyone in the group. They turn for the exit with Sanzo leading the way, and the simple phrase, "Let's go," carries them out into the hallway.

-----

The world around them is surreal. Hallway after hallway seems never-ending. There is no elevator they can find but several short staircases they travel up at different ends of different corridors. They are slowly climbing Houtou Castle towards Ukoku who lies in wait at the top.

But what makes the journey most surreal, most stomach-turning and otherworldly, is the picked-apart bodies and sprays of blood leaving them a trail to follow. Seiten Taisei has been clearing them a path, all right, a path lined with bodies that may or may not have been their enemy. Perhaps some of the youkai strewn about would have aided them for the sake of Kougaiji. But there is no point in wondering about that now. They must focus instead on not worrying over their choice to consider Seiten Taisei a companion. If they show hesitation there is always the chance the beast might start looking at them as he did the rest of his prey.

Sanzo tells himself it means nothing, the many bodies, the pools and streaks of blood. Goku does not have to know. The important thing is that they reach the top, and that Seiten Taisei will be there to help them defeat the final villain.

"What about the broad?" Gojyo had asked after several footfalls and a few flights of stairs. "She's Lirin's mom, right? She has loyalists. She's in the castle somewhere. What about her?"

Before now Sanzo had given Gyokumen Koushu very little thought. They have known of her, but thought more of Kougaiji as the villain they knew and faced, thought of Gyumaou as the one they might have to fight if the resurrection succeeds. But now, if they defeat Ukoku, the resurrection, not yet ready—at least they hope it is not yet ready, despite knowing the scriptures are gathered—will fair very poorly without the doctor Nii to carry things out.

So Sanzo had merely grunted at Gojyo's comment and it became understood that Gyokumen Koushu would hardly be a challenge if they survive Ukoku. Besides, Sanzo is almost certain Kougaiji will have already dealt with her, or will at the very least desire to be the one to deal with her. And Sanzo will not object. He wants very little right now—to collect his master's scriptures, to collect the other scriptures the castle may have gathered, and to kill Ukoku with his own hands. Anything else is complete beyond his realm of thought.

Sanzo hisses, absently reaching for his left wrist. His gun is being held in his right so he can do little but touch his good wrist to the injured one and gently rub. Friction, motion, it does not dull the pain lingering in his wrist, but it is a subconscious desire. Touch. Even Sanzo has the unconscious need of touch. The medication he had taken before they left the inn has long since worn off. He could care less, he tells himself, but he really wishes it would stop throbbing. He cannot afford to be handicapped.

"Yo, Sanzo?" comes Gojyo's voice suddenly, and a large hand falls to rest on Sanzo's shoulder.

The monk's immediate reaction is to pull away but he is too preoccupied with all that lies before them to care. "What?" he asks, his tone as biting as ever even while he is allowing Gojyo's touch.

"You really think we can trust Goku?" Gojyo asks, and Sanzo is pleased the kappa has not instead asked if the monk is all right. "I wanna trust him, but…just looking around…it's hard to believe he's thinking clearly."

Sanzo dismisses Gojyo's concern. "He would have killed us back in that damn room if that's what he was planning. I know he's not tame. He's not…completely Goku. But we can trust him to fight with us."

Mildly pacified, Gojyo nods. He wants to believe as Sanzo believes, but there are doubts he cannot shake. They have all received beating by Seiten Taisei—Gojyo has been bitten by the little bastard on several occasions—so trusting him now is not an easy task.

Removing his hand from Sanzo's shoulder, Gojyo looks back at Hakkai trailing behind them. The green-eyed youkai is prowling. Sniffing the air, investigating bodies. He looks very much like an animal and Gojyo feels slightly hypocritical about his words to Sanzo. He does not have the slightest doubts in Hakkai. Without legitimate reason Gojyo trusts Hakkai explicitly, even as a beast.

He stops doubting Goku, even if the brat is Seiten Taisei just now.

"Here."

Gojyo looks up at the sound of Sanzo's voice and comes to a quick stop, a few inches only from walking headlong into the priest's back. He steps around Sanzo to stand beside him. Hakkai appears next to Gojyo a moment later, alert and curious, though silent like his friends.

In front of them at last is a set of large double doors. There are no windows along this high corridor, but they imagine they are near the top if not inside the very peak of the castle tower. There are fewer bodies in this hallway, making it even more plausible that Ukoku is beyond these doors. After all, why would he need bodyguards or allow them? The bodies they passed were probably just foolish youkai hoping to outrun the beast chasing after them.

A low growl escapes Hakkai, his claws twitching, his eyes darting over the corridor as he sniffs the air, alert to something Gojyo and Sanzo are not attuned enough to catch. The next moment has the double doors partially blocked from view as Seiten Taisei drops down in front of them. Even Sanzo finds it difficult not to flinch.

The beast is splattered with blood, none of which is his own, and his clothing is slightly torn from overexcitement. He cocks his head at the trio before him, looking longest at the new youkai amongst the party's ranks. Sniffing the air by youkai Hakkai, Seiten Taisei appears satisfied that he knows the scent. He knows all of these…men. He remembers Konzen, Kenren, and Tenpou, but he knows that now he is looking at Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai. He is not entirely certain as to why he knows this or the reasons for why it is true, but he has come to accept the strange feelings that are pushing through to the surface. There was a time he may have felt threatened by such invading thoughts, but allowing their presence is easy now for he knows it is all still part of who he is.

Sanzo steps up next to Seiten Taisei, nodding his head to the beast and then turning to face the door again. In likeness, Seiten Taisei turns to the door as well. Gojyo and Hakkai are quick to follow, and though it feels strange—especially for Gojyo who now has youkai Hakkai on one side of him and Seiten Taisei on the other as they stand before the door—there are no longer any doubts or apprehensions.

Now is the time for payback.

"This is it." Sanzo says.

Seiten Taisei growls in pleased agreement.

Hakkai, fangs barred and claws flexed, growls as well. His anger has overridden any desire to speak intelligibly, despite his ability.

Gojyo, in the presence of power he doesn't even want to fully understand, gives a short, humorless chuckle.

It does not need to be asked if everyone is ready. Those that need focus to stay in control have their focus. Those that do not need it have focus anyway. The scripture will be regained…and Ukoku is going to pay.

Sanzo reaches for the doors but they open on their own before he can touch the handles. Well, if they are being invited in the least they can do is oblige. Like an immovable, impenetrable wall, the four hellions—finally West—step through the doors that have opened and allow those doors to close tight behind them.

tbc...

A/N: So short! Sorry, but that's just how this chapter came out. Anyway, things get a little complicated now. One, I have 4 performances this weekend, which makes writing complicated. I'm in Cabaret as the German Prostitute, Fraulein Kost for community theatre. It is an awesome show. I don't have any pictures yet, but when I do I will actually go and update my webpage, which right now still says I'm in England. Oh well. Things get complicated for the boys too, though. I better post this, though, because my roommate is between registering for our other roommates since they are both in Japan right now, and she needs something to read. I had meant to respond to more reviews but I have been sick. Yet more proof how much I love you all. Okay, hope you enjoyed. Keep letting me know. :-)

Crim


	22. Enter the Devil

Enter the Devil

* * *

There is no sound other than their own breathing when they first step into the room. It is dark, so dark that Sanzo and Gojyo wonder if Hakkai and Seiten Taisei can't see anything either, because they certainly can't and something about the darkness feels so much deeper. It is the type of darkness you know could never be natural. It is created darkness. Accepted darkness. All-encompassing, burrowing into your souls kind of darkness that makes even the most primal of them stop, pause, and wonder.

"Whatever we find in here…" Sanzo says into the blackness, sensing his companions near him even though he cannot see them clearly, "…it is just a room, and _he_ is just a man."

Gojyo grunts agreement.

Hakkai makes a similar noise, though far more gruffly.

Seiten Taisei, however, remains silent, listening with an accuracy much more attuned than any of the others.

He is waiting, gauging where the enemy is and how to deal with him. He does not appreciate being toyed with. After all, he is usually the one holding all the strings, not the marionette. He hates being the toy and because he is finally on the opposing end he thinks perhaps he might even regret all the times he has played with others. Especially the men with him now.

Seiten Taisei shifts his footing, sensing that something is coming only a moment before light bursts into existence. It is not enough to fill the whole of the room, but enough to show it as endless, larger than should be possible. From out of the remaining darkness there is a glint of silver and suddenly chains fly out at the poised group. The chains wrap around the Sanzo-ikkou faster than even Seiten Taisei can avoid, coming from all angles. Catching each man's arms and legs, first Gojyo, then Sanzo, Hakkai, and finally the thrashing Seiten Taisei are pulled back against the walls, tightly bound.

"Well, this is a great start." Gojyo grumbles, pulling at his bindings ineffectually, his weapon now resting on the floor below him.

The others are all growling as well, Sanzo almost sounding as animalistic as the two youkai. The monk's gun is still in his bound hand but it can do him little good since it is pointed at nothing he has any reason to shoot at.

The chains appear strong enough, but after much struggling and strained efforts, Seiten Taisei is able to free one of his arms. Soon he has freed the other as well, and it is not long before he is safely on the ground, tossing the chains aside. He looks to Hakkai, who he studies carefully, debating whether he should lend a claw perhaps, but Hakkai also has the strength to free himself without aid.

Both on the ground now, the youkai regard one another with mild interest before turning to their respective others and helping them in being free as well. Seiten Taisei lingers close to Sanzo, this being the first time he has been so close without dark intentions. He sniffs hard at the air around his savior.

Sanzo is hesitant at first, though pleased at being released rather than attacked or molested. Carefully, he reaches out a hand to run over the top of Seiten Taisei's head.

Taunting laughter echoes out of the darkness, as if taking Sanzo and Seiten Taisei's affectionate moment as its cue.

Everyone takes up their weapons and readies their claws. They know this voice and the cruelty in its laugh. They are ready for it. But they are not stupid. They know how weak this initial attack was. They also know…that it had been just as much of a taunt as the laugh still echoing.

"You're going to have to do better than that, you freak!" Gojyo yells, shakujou tight in his grip and ready to be swung at anything that moves.

Continued laughter answers him. "Am I really?" asks the voice, Nii's voice, Ukoku's voice. "Should I try harder then? But why, when you don't even know who I am…?" Laughter sounds again, darker, ricocheting off the walls and up to the impossibly high ceiling. "I could be the person standing right next to you. Do you really know…who, what, _where_…I am?"

Sanzo blinks and Ukoku is right next to him. No! He is in front of him. No, he is to his left! Sanzo turns and sees that the man is behind him as well. There are four Ukokus and Sanzo is suddenly surrounded. But which one is the real one?

It is then that Sanzo remembers his friends. They are gone.

"What the hell!"

Sanzo turns. Gojyo's voice has come from the direction of one of the Ukokus near him though the man's mouth did not move. He thinks he understands then. His friends have become three of these apparitions, meaning that only one is the real Ukoku.

If Sanzo listens closely he can hear his friends breathing, hear Gojyo panicking, hear Hakkai growling, and hear Seiten Taisei snarling angrily. This is too dangerous, Sanzo knows that, and he speaks quickly before any of the rising tension has the chance to erupt in an unfortunate attack.

"Nobody move!" he cries. "It's not real! He's trying to get us to attack without thinking. He's only one of us, but he _is_ here! Don't attack until you know for certain!"

There is no response at first, but finally Gojyo yells back. "So we're just supposed to stand here and wait for _him_ to attack!"

Sanzo stamps his foot in frustration. "If you want to risk slicing that weapon of yours through Goku or _Hakkai_, then go ahead, you idiot!"

Gojyo does not answer this time though Sanzo is almost certain he can hear the hanyou grumbling. Sanzo tries not to pay any attention to Gojyo. He focuses on Hakkai's low growls and tunes it out. He can hear Seiten Taisei's higher voice still snarling and tunes that out as well. He has to listen for Ukoku, but the harder he tries the more he hears nothing. With his friends' voices forgotten, there is nothing.

Damn it, Sanzo thinks. What should he do? If he dares attack he might hurt Hakkai, or Gojyo, or even Goku. Is he willing to risk that? This is such a foolish trick, so simple, just an illusion, and yet it has Sanzo frozen and unable to react. He hates it. He hates being able to do nothing. He may curse others for impatience, but he knows that he is more impatient than most men he has met.

"Sanzo…" this prompt is from Hakkai, low and questioning, waiting for some sign or even an order.

Always have these men fought for themselves, but they are not stupid, no longer disillusioned. They have fought for one another as much as themselves, and though they may be loath to admit it, they have often fought under Sanzo's direction. Much as Sanzo wanted to avoid such an outcome, he has become the leader.

And it only makes this harder.

"San…San…zo…"

This new voice shakes Sanzo to the core. The strange, little growl in it, the disuse of it as if its owner seldom sees reason to speak. It seems so odd since Goku talks all the time, but there are some things about him and Seiten Taisei that really are separate. What catches Sanzo, however, is that the voice calling him is Seiten Taisei…but also Goku. Together. He can hear it in the growled utterance and not only because the name spoken is finally the one that belongs to him.

"Sanzo…" Seiten Taisei growls again.

And Sanzo gets it, like words spoken straight into his head or his heart, he understands that the beast is asking him permission, not just speaking a name. He is asking permission to _act_.

Do it, Sanzo thinks, loudly, but only thinks it, not daring to say anything that might tip Ukoku off.

It isn't even questioned whether or not Seiten Taisei has heard him, for a moment later one of the Ukokus lunges forward, diving for the one directly opposite. When the pair crashes to the floor the illusion is gone and Sanzo is relieved to see that his companion has not chosen incorrectly. Gojyo and Hakkai are still standing, appearing in their true forms to Sanzo, and Seiten Taisei has the real Ukoku pinned to the floor.

Sanzo whirls his gun to point at the man as fast as he can think to, but the damn freak on the floor is grinning, laughing almost, and does not seem at all put out to be held down by the most powerful of creatures in existence.

In the next moment Sanzo understands why. Before he can even think to fire—which he plans to do despite any doubts—the Ukoku beneath Seiten Taisei vanishes.

"So close, boys. So very close. But goodness, it seems you still haven't gotten it yet."

Sanzo howls at the ceiling to wherever the owner of that voice has gone to, or wherever he truly is. Ukoku is toying with them, but Sanzo has no doubts that the man is inside the room. Somewhere.

He is about to call out, to curse and yell at the bastard for being such a coward, but Seiten Taisei's call comes first. The beast is not happy about being deprived of its prey. He rumbles and roars, looking frantically in every direction and sniffing madly at the air. It makes no sense to the beast. He had smelled the man, known it to be him, but now the scent has vanished. Where did it go?

"We can't play into his hands." Sanzo tells the monkey, making sure he has caught the beast's full attention and looked into his slit eyes before speaking. He is telling Seiten Taisei to calm down, to remain as in control as possible.

Sanzo is surprised when the beast takes a few grumbling breaths and seems to calm, even nodding his head in reply.

"Good." Sanzo says. He turns to Gojyo and Hakkai. "It doesn't matter how good he is or what he throws at us. He's making us look like fools. But we're stronger. He's here and we're finding him. Now."

Gojyo hoists his weapon up onto his shoulder and huffs. "Easy for you to say, giving orders. He tricked fang-boy's senses, for fuck's sake. You're right, he's making us look like fools, because we _are_ fools if we think we can just--"

"Gojyo…" Hakkai cuts in warningly, his iridescent eyes glittering. He says nothing more but even in his youkai form the single sound of Gojyo's name by his voice is enough to quiet the hanyou.

They all have to think clearly now. Ukoku's games are bound to get tougher.

"Are you too much of a coward to face us for real!" Sanzo yells, motioning for everyone to spread out and start surveying the room, and also indicating that they should not get too far out of one another's sights.

Laughter precedes Sanzo's reply. "Oh believe me, I am in this very room. If you can't even find me what fun would you be to face head on? You have to earn the right to a face to face encounter. Hmm…" Ukoku's voice turns feigningly thoughtful. "Perhaps I'll just let the walls do my work for me then. Would that be a fairer fight…Koryuu?"

Sanzo and the others barely have enough time to catch their breaths before the walls begin moving. Everyone jumps away from them, gathering in what they can only imagine as the center. Their surroundings are still dark, still holding the appearance of being much larger than the room could actually be. The abundance of space is quickly diminishing now, though, as the walls start closing in.

Weapons are readied but of little use. Gojyo sends the crescent moon of shakujou at one of the walls, but it does nothing to stop the movements. Hakkai blasts a particularly nasty bolt of chi at another wall—his powers are much more concentrated without his limiters—but even a nicely shaped hole does not slow the walls down.

"Well this sucks." Gojyo offers with a sideways grin. He turns his head at Sanzo who, for lack of any other way to see things, is the most sentient of the group right now, even if Hakkai is fairly focused. "Gotta love the classics, right?" the kappa adds.

Sanzo could care less for Ukoku's lack of creativity. He grits his teeth, absently firing his gun at one of the walls in pure irritation. "Shut up." He growls. "This is still just a room and _he_ is in here with us. Somewhere there is a place inside this room where these walls don't matter."

"Yeah." Gojyo snorts. "On the other side of them."

Sanzo doesn't respond. He stares at the approaching walls, gauging every corner and crevice. The holes that each of them made have closed on their own, gone, revealing nothing that might aid the situation. But there has to be a trick to it, some way of escaping. Ukoku wants to play, after all, and every game has rules. Sanzo just has to figure out what those rules are.

Looking around, it is clear that his friends are debating just as he is. Hakkai is studying every possible detail, more so than Gojyo who to his credit is at least trying to study the closing-in walls, and Seiten Taisei is taking the other end of things, looking at the floor and ceiling. The beast, perhaps even more impatient than Sanzo right now, gives a growl to indicate he has given up perusing the room. He holds out his hand and with a bright flash of light…summons nyoibou into his grasp.

Sanzo is distracted by this at first. He has definitely never seen Seiten Taisei summon Goku's weapon. His first thought is a very pleased one, believing this to be a sign Goku is in even more control than he first thought. His second is a little more worried as the staff begins to glow with a radiance of power Goku never had, making the weapon appear much more threatening and therefore possibly more dangerous for anyone near it when used.

The beast whirls the staff in his hand and looks as if he is preparing to strike. The walls are very close to them now, making them all back in close against each other until almost all of them are touching. Seiten Taisei gives a growl like a command and nyoibou extends, slamming its ends into two of the walls to hold them steady.

Sanzo holds his breath.

A straining shudder and creak sounds loudly in the room as those two walls are stopped. However, despite nyoibou's versatile forms, it cannot go four directions, and this is only keeping the walls in front and behind them steady. The walls at either side of them are still closing in.

"Good thinking, monkey, but not good enough." Gojyo says, staring at his own useless weapon.

Seiten Taisei growls, though whether it is one of acknowledgment or anger is hard to say.

The walls still capable of moving are closing in tighter and tighter. Seiten Taisei is busy holding his walls back, but it will do them little good if they cannot stop the others. Soon, the four men are in a tight line with barely an arms length keeping the walls away from them.

Gojyo starts shouting, yelling for anyone who might have an idea to come up with it quick because he would rather not finish his days as a pancake. Sanzo yells at Gojyo to shut up. Seiten Taisei growls at both of them, frustrated and having a hard enough time with the task he _is_ doing. Hakkai is the only one still silent as the walls get even closer.

Looking supremely calm, the green-eyed youkai waits until the walls are close enough so that when he puts out his hands from either side of his body they touch the walls with equal force and little strain on his part. The walls push in on his arms, but he is content enough with the distance. It is only after he has begun what he plans to do that his friends notice his actions.

Slowly at first and then faster, rapid even, the vines that coil over Hakkai's skin and around his body extend out of him, creating new, longer vines that leave his fingertips and travel onto the surface of the walls. His eyes are closed, concentrating. The vines stretch further, going up the walls and down them, heading for whatever crevices exist. Hakkai has to stay focused, as focused as he can manage. His mind is within each vine that has extended from his body. He can feel and see and sense everything they are touching as they travel onward. When they slip through the cracks and find their way out of the shrinking section of the room, the keep going, searching for a source.

"Hakkai…holy shit…" Gojyo whispers, almost forgetting for a second that he barely has enough room to breathe now and the walls are only closing in tighter.

Seiten Taisei and Sanzo remain silent, transfixed perhaps, and all of them look on, amazed that those pretty black vines are so much more than penitential decoration.

There is a sudden jerk in Hakkai's body and his eyes open. A loud click echoes throughout the room and the walls, the ones close to crushing them as well as the ones Seiten Taisei is holding back…begin to recede. A little smile curves over Hakkai's lips.

"Damn baby, you are way too sexy when you save our asses." Gojyo says with a whistle. "But you're even sexier when you surprise me while you're at it. How come you never told me you could do that?"

Little by little as the walls return to their original state, Hakkai's vines retreat from where they had slithered over the surfaces. The youkai tilts his head and lengthens his grin. "It never came up." he offers, his voice low and rumbling as it always is in this form. "You know I don't like to show off…Gojyo."

"Like hell you don't." Gojyo mumbles to himself, more than certain he has been heard.

It would have been Sanzo who spoke first, so wanting to shut up the pair for being so disgustingly cute in his presence, but he is beaten to the punch when something else interrupts them first.

Though Hakkai had been quite relaxed as he allows the vines to slowly return to him, his eyes widen in surprise when those vines suddenly grow taut. It looks as if something is pulling on them from wherever they had strayed and before anyone can think to do anything, Hakkai's arms are thrown so wide it looks as if he has dislocated both shoulders with the force of the movement. He cries out, fangs bared as he throws his head back and loses his footing, falling to the floor. But he does not fall to the floor. The vines are so tightly drawn from him, he hang, limp, with barely his knees resting on the ground.

"Hakkai!" Gojyo cries.

"Hahaha…"

Sanzo and Seiten Taisei look up and around them at the reentrance of that awful voice, but Gojyo has dashed to Hakkai, standing before his lover in horror, unable to think of anything he could possibly do to fix what is happening.

"Such a fun little trick you have." Ukoku chuckles, and the vines give a sudden tug, pulling Hakkai's body in opposing directions.

"Ah!"

Gojyo drops shakujou to the floor and lifts his hands, moving them forward and then back again sporadically, without direction. What can he do? "You bastard!" he yells to the ceiling. "What the hell is wrong with you! Do you get some sick kick out of this!" He turns his eyes back on Hakkai and meets pained emerald. Should he pick shakujou up from the ground and cut the vines? But they are part of Hakkai, aren't they? What if that only proves to hurt him more? "Shit." The hanyou curses. "Tell me, Hakkai, tell me what to do?"

Looking as if he might indeed answer, Hakkai's response is prematurely cut and another tightening of the vines has his arms trembling with how far from his body they are being pulled.

"Hakkai!"

"Damn you, bastard!" Sanzo yells.

Seiten Taisei adds a deep, affirming growl to Sanzo's statement.

Once again, a laugh is their reply. "My, my, you're not ready to give up already, are you?" asks Ukoku, his voice dripping with a sense of superiority and triumph. "I'm sure you can think of a way out of this, can't you? You've foiled so many of my plans, ruined so many experiments. You're better than _this_…aren't you?"

A cry too filled with agony to be listened to without cringing rips from Hakkai's throat. Each of his companions has the horrific vision of Hakkai's arms being torn from his body, and try as they might, a simple solution is not presenting itself, and the man that usually has the insight to come up with such solutions isn't capable of aiding them.

Even Seiten Taisei looks something akin to panicked, proving he indeed does know his companions, he isn't merely helping them for his own benefit. Or so Sanzo chooses to believe as he sees the angry fire of gold in the beast's eyes.

There is another cry from Hakkai and Gojyo drops to his knees, begging for Hakkai to tell him anything, to give him some sign or advice on what should be done, but the youkai either cannot understand and answer him or simply cannot come up with anything to say.

Sanzo will not watch this, he will not see his friends broken and beaten by the man that took his master away from him. He will not lose the same thing to the same man. He will not give up what he has so recently gained…so recently realized he had all along, for a second time. And so Sanzo does the only thing he can think of, the only thing he can ever think to do in a hopeless situation.

He grits his teeth, curses loudly…and aims his gun with a steady hand.

-----

A gasp breaks from Kougaiji's throat as he comes to, waking more jarringly than he ever remembers. His memory is so fuzzy at first he wonders if he is simply in his bed, waking from some strange, unmemorable nightmare.

But then the images start to come, start to focus in his mind, showing him the nightmare he had been having. A nightmare filled at first with such happiness and perfect bliss, it was even crueler when the dream changed.

His mother had been awake and well, living with him and Lirin. Nothing of his father or Gyokumen Koushu remained and that pleased him to no end. But it was not only them, for Yaone was with them and Dokugakuji had been there as well, a neighbor and good friend. It does not bypass him, though, that Yaone had been living with him in his mother's house and that she was not in any way a servant to the family.

They had been married. And Yaone…had been very, very pregnant.

The whole thing had been so…wonderful. Kougaiji cannot deny that. But things had turned so horribly wrong. Yaone had gone into labor and the twins—she had been carrying twins, Kougaiji remembers—were coming too quickly and something was wrong. He had been there while she was experiencing so much pain, his wife, the mother to the children still on the way. The love he has for her had been so honest and true at that time, but it only fueled the pain when the first of the babies came out…dead.

The second was still coming and Yaone did not know the first was already gone. Kougaiji could not bring himself to tell her. He focused instead on keeping her calm while the second was delivered. But when the second child arrived it was no different from the first. That baby too was dead.

Kougaiji remembers with such heartache how he had soothed Yaone and stroked her hair, but she was insistent to see her children, to know why there were making no noise. Newborns who don't cry…she knew something was wrong. Having to tell her, to look into his love's eyes and tell her they were gone…it killed him. But what he wasn't prepared for was that it would kill her too.

Yaone had screamed and pleaded, saying it couldn't be true, but it was. She demanded to see the babies, but the doctor was trying to explain to her that she had to stay calm. She had lost too much blood, was losing more, and if she didn't calm, things could get very complicated. But how do you calm a mother who has lost her only claims to motherhood?

Nothing worked. Nothing calmed her. Yaone's heart rate skyrocketed, her body bled, her mind faded, and so quickly, too quickly, Kougaiji felt her slipping away from him as their babies had slipped away.

No…not her too, he remembers thinking, remembers feeling, remembers…all of it. And it was then, at the very moment he knew Yaone had left him alone, all alone in the world…that Kougaiji woke up.

"Kou!" a voice shouts from close by him. Kougaiji knows it must be close, because it is very loud, as if perhaps the person has been calling for some time and finally had no choice but to yell. "Kou!" it comes again.

At last, Kougaiji decides the voice is indeed real, and wanting so badly to believe the nightmare _hadn't_ been real, he turns towards it, his eyes focusing on the face of his very dear friend. "Dokugakuji…" he says, his voice hoarse and almost pained enough to betray his inner turmoil.

Dokugakuji too looks as if he must have dreamed an awful, awful dream, for there are tears in his deep blue eyes. "Kou…" the taller youkai says, "…thank the gods. That mess, whatever the hell it was…it scared the shit out of me. And then I kept calling but…you didn't…man. Don't scare me like that, damn it. My heart can't take much more."

Kougaiji thinks he knows exactly what Dokugakuji means.

Neither of them can think of what to say next, happy enough at first that what they experienced was not real after all. The voice that breaks the quiet next, however, reminds them that they are not the only ones who had been dreaming.

"Dokugaku! Kougaiji-sama!"

That voice. It is without a doubt the sweetest sound Kougaiji has ever heard. He turns his head quicker than his brain has thought to…and there she is. His wife. His love. His…

Nothing.

Kougaiji reminds himself to be…himself. He cannot get reality confused with a dream. Not now.

"Yaone." He says, as simply as he can, allowing his relief but nothing else. "You're all right?" he asks, finally getting up from where he had been crouched on the ground and walking to her to offer down a hand.

The lavender-haired youkai looks pleased beyond words to find her companions safe and is more than happy to accept the hand offered her. Her own nightmare she locks safely away to never again be thought of. It had been too hurtful to store in memory. "My lord, I am so happy you are well. And yes, I am fine. Dokugaku?" she adds, turning to the other youkai as she gets to her feet.

But Dokugakuji is not listening, too busy staring up at the machine. It is hissing and releasing waves of smoke, and he imagines someone must have done some pretty nasty damage to the thing. He wonders if their release from that prison had been on purpose or now, but either way he is grateful.

He is not as grateful, however, when he realizes someone is missing.

Kougaiji has noticed as well. "My sister…" the prince says, looking about frantically now. He had not noticed at first that Lirin was missing, but he is more aware now, and the reality revealing itself is suddenly much more threatening than he could have imagined. "That bastard, if he even dared lay a finger on her…"

"Where could he have taken Miss Lirin?" Yaone asks, the worrisome mother in her taking full hold of her senses.

Dokugakuji, older brother to the last, inspects the machine and gives it a mighty kick. "Well, we can't just stand around here. Kou, we have to move. Lirin's gotta be around here somewhere, right?"

"Somewhere…" Kougaiji repeats, and thinks he might actually have a pretty good idea where Lirin might be. Nii is smart, but also practical. With everyone safely out of the way, as the good doctor must have thought they were, why bother putting Lirin somewhere different than she had been before? "Let's go." He says, intent on starting where Nii had experimented with his sister not long ago, but willing to look over the entire castle if he has to.

"What about…Sanzo?"

Kougaiji stops, already halfway to the exit. He had almost forgotten about what had transpired between them and the Sanzo-ikkou. But he remembers well that they had been in the dreamworld with him, or at least that versions of them had been there…and they had all been close friends.

The prince also recognizes that although Dokugakuji has said 'Sanzo' it is clear the hesitation means he is really worried about more than just the monk. Kougaiji has not forgotten the many ties that bind them to the Sanzo-ikkou, bonds that link much deeper than friendship in some cases.

"They must have gotten free. Perhaps…they were the ones that freed us. But we can't worry about them. I'd be willing to bet Nii is dealing with them and vice versa right now, meaning Sanzo and the others are probably expecting us to handle Lirin and any other opposition. Our best bet in helping them now is to do what we can with the rest of the castle. Is that understood?"

Kougaiji is used to giving orders and he knows the pair with him would follow him anywhere, but he looks to each of them on his words. If they question him on this, he will listen to every word. If they have any other suggestion or fears that cannot be put to rest, he will hear whatever they wish to say.

But Yaone merely nods, her face set in resolve.

Dokugakuji is hesitant only a moment before offering the same.

Kougaiji nods as well. But before turning forward he allows himself a moment…to study Yaone's face. She returns his look quizzically but does not question it. He hopes somewhere in the length of time he looked into her eyes she understood him. He hopes that his look somehow explained everything that is currently raging in his heart. But if it has not, if at the end of all this she knows nothing of his feelings and intentions…he will tell her. Of that he promises himself and has just silently promised her.

Turning to the exit, Kougaiji is made entirely of resolve now, resolve for many things. His mission is clear, beginning with his sister. He must find her and ensure whatever plans Nii has with her are foiled. After that…he certainly hopes his stepmother is prepared for some payback.

Without another glance at the machine or the room, Kougaiji breaks into a run with Dokugakuji and Yaone faithfully at his heels.

A/N: For the record this would have been up last night but the site wouldn't let me upload until NOW. grrr. First I have to be sure and tell those who might not know that Hakkai being able to manipulate his vines like that IS canon, very recently shown to us in Zero sum for the Reload manga. I won't spoil it and tell you what the context is, but...yeah. Canon. Life is a little crazy but I'm dealing with it and due to my roommates insistence and support, still find time to write. Thank her.

Also, just out of curiosity, are any of you out there guys? I mean really? I've just been wondering, because I know the numbers are low but that there are yaoi fans who are guys and it's been something I've been thinking about recently. I won't tell anyone, but if you want to tell ME... ;-) Okay, enough silliness. I will post soon, I hope, and I must send out a really big thanks to everyone because #1, I should hit 300 reviews, meaning send any final requests if ya got any, coz I'm feeling generous, though I do have plenty in store for you, and #2, I couldn't ask for a more supportive fanbase. Thanks, all.

Crim


	23. Goodnight Sweet Night

Goodnight Sweet Night

* * *

The two shots from Sanzo's gun are still resonating, loud in the room that remains so endless around them. Gojyo has cried out, furious at first that Sanzo would act without thinking, without knowing the consequences of it, and the sound of his rising voice still hangs in the air as well, joining with the fading aftershock of the quick succession of shots.

Hakkai has fallen forward, his vines severed where Sanzo fired. For a moment he is limp on the ground while Gojyo, down on the floor beside him, is too afraid to touch the youkai for fear of what condition he may be in.

Watching, mesmerized, the others see the vines that are still loose from Hakkai's skin begin to travel the rest of the way back to his body, fading into the vines that remain and making it almost surreal that the seeming tattoos had ever left their rightful places.

Hakkai is still doubled over, his arms stretched and shaking from the trauma. Gojyo, afraid Sanzo's choice to fire may have caused just as much damage or at least more damage than good, reaches out very carefully to place a soothing hand on Hakkai's back. Before contact can be made, however, Gojyo flinches away when Hakkai lifts himself by the torso abruptly and howls, snapping each shoulder back into place.

"Damn it…" Gojyo curses, hating how he is stuck between action and indecision, and hating even more that it was Sanzo who finally braved the consequences. "You…you okay, 'Kai?" he adds, forcing his hesitant hand to finish its previous trek and touching Hakkai gently on one shoulder.

When Hakkai does not immediately respond, breathing heavily and staring at some distant point, Gojyo turns his own frustrations onto Sanzo. He whips his head around, hand still touching Hakkai, and glares at the stationary monk. The gun is still raised, still aimed, but now, upon Gojyo's look, it begins to lower.

"What the hell were you thinking, asshole!" Gojyo growls. "Doing that could have been as bad as ripping his arms off! Did you ever think of that!"

Sanzo's face is impassive but hard and calculating. He keeps his gun at the ready and his eyes turn a little colder as he returns Gojyo's glare. "At least I had the balls to do _something_, you damn cockroach. And in case you haven't been paying attention, Hakkai is fine. Don't bitch me out for _you_ not acting fast enough."

The hand not touching Hakkai's shoulder forms into a tight fist. "Bastard…" Gojyo seethes. In all honesty, he agrees with Sanzo but he would never admit so aloud. He is furious with the man for having to point out the obvious so blatantly. "Which of us _is_ acting fast enough then, huh? _You_, coz you thought to pull a trigger? That's your solution to everything! And what has it gotten us today, huh? Not a damn, fucking thing!"

"You think you're any better!" Sanzo yells back, impassive giving way to full blown rage all too quickly. Seiten Taisei has been forgotten and Hakkai too. Even while Gojyo keeps in contact with Hakkai through that lone hand on the youkai's shoulder, the kappa has forgotten their companions as well, and the argument only erupts further.

It is entirely common for petty things to cause screaming wars between Sanzo and Gojyo, especially if left unmediated. Hakkai, their usual referee, is not exactly in his right mind, and even with his senses more focused, he is pained and angry after Nii's attack on him. This leaves no one to interject with Sanzo and Gojyo this time. As voices rise higher and tempers flare, Hakkai and Seiten Taisei are more and more forgotten. It is only when Hakkai acts that both quarrelling parties are brought back to reality.

With an angry roar, Hakkai turns and slashes at Gojyo's hand on his shoulder, leaping to his feet with the action and backing away from Gojyo like a wounded animal. The movement was quick and haphazard, leaving Gojyo a severally scratched hand, lightly bleeding, but a hand fully in tact, which he might not have gotten if Hakkai had taken any real care with the strike.

Gojyo looks up at Hakkai not in fear or anger but with deep concern. The wild look in those emeralds is unsettling to say the least. "Hakkai…" Gojyo says. "Hey…calm down…you're okay." He pauses, looking Hakkai over carefully and wondering just how true that statement is. "Aren't you…?"

This tense development has Sanzo remembering Seiten Taisei like a blow to the head. He turns his head so quickly towards the spot he remembers the beast last being that he pinches several nerves in his neck, making him hiss with pain. He allows the hiss to turn into a growl of frustration because Seiten Taisei is not where he was a few minutes before.

When Sanzo turns to survey the whole of the room he soon sees where the beast has gone, and he is not all that far from the group really, but near the edge of the darkness still lingering in the room. Seiten Taisei is sniffing around that darkness, crouched and very animal-like in his motions. He appears much more agitated than before and with the combined edginess that seems to be in Seiten Taisei and Hakkai, Sanzo tightens the grip on his gun.

Just before the blonde is ready to open his mouth and cry out at the unseen master of ceremonies, that same cruel laugh begins anew.

Sanzo is livid at the sound of it. "Enough of this…" he grumbles, stomping his foot and raising his arm to point his Smith and Wesson at whatever area of darkness looks most threatening. "Having fun!" he shouts. "Well, I'm sick of your games! I'm sick of your toys! I'm sick of your _shit_! You wanna play? Then give us something flesh and bone to fight!"

"Hahahaha…"

The chill in that laugh, the reveling humor in it, makes Sanzo suddenly wary of what he has just challenged.

"Flesh and bone? Why…I was planning on that all along."

In horrific unison—Seiten Taisei still sniffing at darkness while Hakkai remains standoffish—the two youkai begin to wail, hissing and growling and shrieking as if in great pain. Though Seiten Taisei is already close to his knees, he falls hard upon them now, clutching his head with clawed hands. Hakkai has fallen back to the floor as well, his arms outstretched to brace himself with talons digging into the tiles beneath him.

They continue screaming as Sanzo and Gojyo rush to their respective others' aide. Neither Sanzo nor Gojyo is foolish enough to attempt even a soothing touch as their companions scream and writhe on the floor. Both are feeling helpless and useless this time.

"_Now_ what's happening!" Gojyo yells. Since Seiten Taisei and Hakkai had been on near opposite sides of the illuminated part of the room, the two pairs seem farther apart than they actually are. Gojyo cries out louder than is need be for Sanzo to hear him, but he isn't concerned with the volume of his voice when Hakkai is once again calling out in such a way. "How is this flesh and blood, you bastard!" he cries to the ceiling. "Getting inside our heads! You fucking coward!"

Ukoku does not respond with the same laugh this time, but chuckles darkly, more evenly and contained. His voice carries above the cries of the youkai. "Patience, hmm? I've perfected the minus wave by now, of course, but it still takes a moment to kick in."

"What?" It is Sanzo who says this, breathing out this disbelieving word. He has not even formed a more relevant thought before the sharp screams from his friends abruptly cut off.

The pause, the eerie silence that hangs afterwards, stretches out before them like slow motion. Even when Sanzo looks down at Seiten Taisei and rising gold meet downcast violet, though time is at a crawl, there is no time at all, not enough to think, not enough to _act_.

In his periphery, Sanzo can see Gojyo hovering over Hakkai so similarly to how he is standing over Goku. When Seiten Taisei makes his move, Sanzo can see that Hakkai too has moved. The monk tries to resist the tight hold now placed upon him, as he imagines Gojyo must be trying as well, but the unforgiving grip his friend and lover has on his throat…prophecies nothing but imminent death.

-----

In another part of the castle, far removed from the tower Nii has prepared for the Sanzo-ikkou, Kougaiji and the others have come upon the room the prince believed his sister to be in. Lirin, however, is nowhere to be found. The room, once used for experiments he does not want to think about, is empty, cleared even of the heavy equipment that once littered every bit of floor space.

Kougaiji curses inwardly, too distracted by concern for his sister to pay much mind to his followers. He breezes past Dokugakuji and Yaone in his haste to leave the room and continue the search. There is no time to think of anything but the goal. He must find his sister before whatever plans Nii and that damn women have in the works can come even close to being fulfilled.

"My lord!"

Halting abruptly in the hallway, Kougaiji turns, nearly slamming back into the pair behind him since they had been following so close. As Dokugakuji and Yaone part to give Kougaiji room, the prince makes out the figure rushing towards him from down the hall. It is no one of extreme importance, though he recognizes the young youkai's face and knows him to be one of the many who proudly follow him over Gyokumen Koushu. Kougaiji does not take the young man's frantic expression or pace as a sign of good news.

"My lord, at last I've found you!" the young youkai cries, winded as he comes to an unsteady stop before Kougaiji and the others. "It was…awful. I didn't think I would live to reach you."

Kougaiji's ears have most certainly perked now. The more distracted parts of his brain catch up and he notices the sprays of blood on this young soldier's clothing and skin, though it is clear the blood does not belong to him. "What happened?" Kougaiji demands, in no state of mind to worry about the condition of the messenger when the message seems so urgent. "Is it my sister?"

There is a moment of mild confusion in the youkai's eyes before he nods, still breathing heavily. "The Lady has her, my lord." He admits, though he speaks on quickly, leaving that fact as unimportant. "But it is Doctor Nii. He headed for the top of the castle some time ago. I thought it strange and some of us decided to follow. There were many of us scattered in the hallways leading in the direction he had gone, but…but then…then…that monster came."

"Monster?" Yaone presses, not one to usually speak before her lord, but frightfully worried over this new development.

The young youkai nods. "I…I cannot describe. I barely saw anything of him…even as he was tearing so many of my comrades apart. He moved so fast. I…I only know he was…smaller, but very vicious. The noises he made were not youkai or human. They were…they were horrible."

Although Kougaiji and the others had been troubled at first, this final information has a pretty clear picture forming in their heads over what has occurred. "I think we know why that damn machine looked so beat up." Dokugakuji mentions, shaking his head.

"Oh, goodness." Yaone gasps, hands flying up to cover her mouth. "But this can't be good at all, can it? If Goku has lost his limiter, not even Sanzo has the power to control him. Could it be…our friends are in trouble?"

Dokugakuji does not reply, not wanting to imagine his brother in pain or that now might be yet another time he isn't there when Gojyo needs him. But it is made so much worse thinking that Gojyo's own friend might be the one that ends it all.

The youkai messenger remains silent as the others continue to talk and as Kougaiji, silent for some time, seems to be taking the information in. When the prince finally speaks it is with a resolve he always seems to muster, even in the toughest of times.

No, he cannot doubt, worry, or allow himself to be preoccupied. Lirin is what matters now. Stopping that woman is what matters. "If Goku saw those men as a threat…especially if they looked to be guarding the way to Nii…I cannot blame him for attacking." Kougaiji says, though his words come slowly. It is difficult to justify the death of his own men, even at the hands of those he truly wishes to be his friends, but he knows he may have done the same—in control or not—if things had been different. He just hopes Seiten Taisei is not as berserk as they all fear. "If Sanzo and the others are in trouble…that is their problem. They can handle Nii--"

"What if they're already dead!" Dokugakuji breaks in. "I mean…shit, Kou…if that thing's out and loose…maybe he took care of them first and now he's after Nii. Maybe after that…he's just gonna come down here looking for us. We don't even know--"

"Do you really think those four are weak enough to be beaten so easily?" Kougaiji interrupts back. His violets are narrowed as he looks up at his steadfast companion. "Chances are, they're all up there giving that bastard what he deserves. If Goku or anyone else becomes our enemy again…then…we'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, we have to do our job. It's what the others would want. They have their vendettas…and I have mine. Let's go." Kougaiji offers only a small nod of thanks to the shaken soldier before dismissing the boy with a turn of his heels.

He walks on quickly, knowing just where he needs to be now, and knowing surely that Dokugakuji and Yaone are right behind him again. If Gyokumen Koushu has Lirin then they can only be in one place. It chills Kougaiji to think that things might have moved ahead so quickly, but preparations might finally be nearing a close.

Kougaiji says nothing to the others as he picks up his pace, trusting them to follow. Sanzo and his party may be in the tower, but they are headed for the basement. At all costs they must reach the body of Gyumaou before that woman can carry through with the resurrection.

-----

Gojyo is having the cruelest déjà vu. The first image that flits through his head is always one of his mother and her axe. He thinks of stupid close calls only briefly, focuses on Kami-sama and hears that eerie laugh, but quickly comes to times more similar to now. Other times when hands were tightly closed around his throat with all intention—even if only in anger or for the briefest moment—of ending his life.

It was not all that long ago that he pushed a little too far with Sanzo and soon found the monk atop him, angry beyond reason. And it was very recent that he first helped Hakkai practice without limiters and found himself pressed back into a wall.

This time the stakes are noticeably higher, because even as the darkness begins to swallow him up and Gojyo can feel his pulse slowing and his body growing rigid, he sees no sign of compassion or a change of heart in those cold, jade-colored eyes. There is no saving blast of chi that will rescue him from the brink of unconsciousness, and no spark of remembrance is there to free Hakkai from Ukoku's control.

Focusing as best he can with blurred vision, Gojyo looks at Sanzo on the other side of the room in a very like situation with Seiten Taisei. Seeing that, Gojyo can't imagine any timely gunshots either. The last thing he would ever want would be to have to hurt Hakkai in order to free himself, but with how the world is fading so swiftly, he might not even be granted a choice.

And so…Gojyo lets go. His hands had been up, clutching madly at the clawed grip on his neck, but with all other options gone now he can think of nothing other than utter surrender.

Limp and compliant as Hakkai continues to fiercely choke him, while the tips of those claws leave little punctures and scratches all over his neck and collarbone, Gojyo no longer struggles. He just looks. Half-lidded crimson eyes look up at Hakkai with nothing but acceptance, and Gojyo hopes that whatever binds them, whatever mystical entity somehow always keeps them out of harms way, it will be called upon now.

On the other side of the room, Sanzo has taken notice of Gojyo's submission, and the whole idea of such a thing makes him wholly sick with disgust. Like hell is he going to go quietly.

Seiten Taisei has one hand on Sanzo's throat but the other has hold of the monk's side and is holding him down to the ground. The slight prick of claws has Sanzo wondering how long it will take before the old puncture wounds on his hips get reopened, even if they have healed over nicely. After all, Sanzo is used to the cold hunger and fierce pleasure he sees on Seiten Taisei's face. This is the Seiten Taisei he knows, the one that singles him out as an especially delectable prey. Being at the beast's mercy, however, is never something the monk cares for. Not when he has so recently seen _Goku_ in the gold eyes boring so unfamiliarly down at him. Not when they have come so close.

But Sanzo will not give up and leave himself to Seiten Taisei's mercy. He would never expect nor ask for that, and certainly not when Nii has unhinged whatever small semblance of control both full youkai in the group had.

Neither really are full youkai though, Sanzo reminds himself. Hakkai is human too, having been born human and only being youkai now by way of a curse. A self-made curse, in all honesty, for Hakkai willfully took the lives of the youkai he slaughtered even if he did not know of the consequences. And Goku…Seiten Taisei…he…he is something unlike anything.

It is for these reasons—including Gojyo too for being only half demon—that the Three Aspects assured Sanzo what is happening _now_ would never happen. He had pressed them, told them it would be unwise t bring youkai along on the journey, but they had been so certain. Perhaps they had not counted on the evil genius of the madman behind all this.

But then again, Sanzo has to wonder, for Goku's sake if nothing else…perhaps _not_.

_Listen to me, you damn monkey. Are you this weak? Do you bow to others? Do you listen to anyone but your own annoying voice? No. And you sure as hell don't want to listen to him. I know you don't ever really listen to me. If you do, it's only because you want to, because you get something out of it, even if it's…nothing but thinking you've made me happier. But you are not this weak, not weak enough to let that bastard turn you into something you hate. Goku. Wake up, already, monkey!_

Sanzo's thoughts form as rapidly as he can make them, forcing them out of his head and willing them to reach the boy he cannot speak to outwardly. He and Goku have always had a connection. Against his will, he has heard the monkey's voice over miles upon miles for years, and again and again as time passes whenever Goku needs him or…or even…when he needs Goku. Always has he heard a voice, had a voice to guide him. If Seiten Taisei can find the strength to become aware, to summon nyoibou and willingly help them in their fight, then damn it, the stupid brat can hear Sanzo calling!

_Wake up, stupid monkey!_

Prepared as he may be…Ukoku could not possibly have anticipated this.

It happens all at once, like someone struck a gong and the image before their eyes becomes something else entirely. Jade eyes quiver, trying to recapture emerald, and focus on red, on the brilliant crimson willing to offer up everything. A chaotic mind, filled with so much renewed anger, begins to hear the faintest voice breaking in against the din. There is a moment of complete stillness where not a one of the four men breathe, even those who had been struggling for breath. Then…the picture changes…and Hakkai and Seiten Taisei…are gone.

Gojyo and Sanzo's gasped breaths fill the room, so loud in contrast to how silent the world had seemed a moment before. There is no laughter this time, not a sound at all at first from Ukoku. But Gojyo and Sanzo understand. In their own ways they did all they could, and with a fleeting look at one another, they nod, rise slowly from the ground, and try—maybe not all that hard really—not to look smug.

Their youkai counterparts are still nowhere to be seen, and since they have recovered their breaths there is only the sound of Gojyo's soft footfalls as he walks over to where Sanzo is standing. Only then…do they hear Ukoku's first noises of surprised struggling.

The room implodes. It happens so quickly, Gojyo flinches, expecting the walls to crush him into a tiny crimson cube. But it only _appears_ to be erupting in chaos for it is the illusion that is falling away. A few moments later, the real image of the room presents itself around them like a curtain lifted on a play.

The room itself is fairly small, almost entirely made of stone, and surrounded by open-air windows looking out at the night sky. It is the first time the Sanzo-ikkou has been given any sense of time of day since they awoke. Somehow…they are not surprised to find the sky overcast and dark.

Gojyo and Sanzo see where their companions have ended up immediately. In one corner of the room the pair has Ukoku pressed back against the stone, each looking more than ready to deal out a few killing blows. Their hesitance to do so seems only due to fascination in how the room has finally become its true self. This failure to act, however, gives Ukoku just the time he needs to slip free. The others would marvel at the man's strength, and yet somehow…they don't think his quickness or his ability to escape has anything to do with muscle mass.

Half sticking out of the man's labcoat is the stuffed bunny they all remember speaking in Ukoku's stead when first he had them captured. There is an instant dislike for it from all considered.

"Well done, well done." Ukoku praises, safely between the two pairs now with the youkai on one side of him and Sanzo and Gojyo on the other. Though his face shines with confidence, he begins to back away, heading for a pair of windows.

Sanzo's first thought is that the man means to jump or escape that way somehow, but Ukoku surprises him. Instead of using the window for himself, he merely takes the bunny from his pocket, strokes very delicately at its ears, and sets it up on one of the window sills to watch.

"I hope you don't mind an audience. Hehe. You really shouldn't. I've been witness to so many _acts_ of yours lately." Ukoku's tone alone implies much more than the simplicity of his words, and this does not at all go unnoticed by the others.

Seiten Taisei growls deeper and more menacingly than seems possible for his higher voice.

Hakkai stretches his claws, allowing each knuckle to crack loudly.

Gojyo re-summons shakujou, having lost it quite some time ago when he first dropped to his knees in fear for Hakkai.

Sanzo…keeps his hand on his gun but does not raise it. "I've been waiting over ten years to find the one responsible for my master's death." He says.

"Oh?" Ukoku prompts, facing them all unafraid despite being outnumbered. "And here I thought you were looking for a sutra. After all…that's all I cared about when I sent those youkai to take it from him."

Sanzo cocks his gun but still…he keeps it lowered. "It's not enough to kill you. I know that can't change anything you've done. But I still want to know why. That day at the temple, the day I met you…Ukoku Sanzo…Master called you his friend. Were you ever his friend? Did he ever mean more to you than that damn sutra?"

A huff leaves Ukoku's lips and his eyes remain on Sanzo. "Shouldn't you ask that question to a mirror, little Koryuu?" He grins. "After all, you've spent these ten years caring only about that _damn_ sutra while forgetting every lesson Koumyou taught you. Now, tell me, which one of us is the real hypocrite?"

At last the gun leaves Sanzo's side, steady and sure as it aims for a place in the middle of Ukoku's body, somewhere that will take longer for him to die. "Maybe I did forget, but even if it took me years to figure out what Master really meant, at least I found those lessons again. At least I can think of him now…and know…I've done the best I could by his name, and that is all he would ever ask of me."

Ukoku remains unimpressed but his smile never wavers. "Hmph. I expected more from the _sun_." he says, and his form quivers like a ripple in a stream, leaving a new image—though perhaps not a true one—in place of the man they saw before. Oh, it is still Ukoku who stands before them, perhaps more Ukoku now than he had appeared before, only his hair seems slightly longer, his features smoother, his face cleanly shaven, and his clothing…could not match Sanzo's more perfectly.

Save one difference of course. As far as the group can tell, there are scriptures hanging on Ukoku's shoulder. Sanzo's, however, are still unfairly gone.

"Is this better, little Koryuu? Hmm? Wouldn't you prefer to kill me looking as I did then? Looking as I did all those times I sat with Koumyou late at night and talked. Did you ever sit through a whole night with him? I suppose not. You were sent off to bed, I bet."

"Shut up." Sanzo warns, but still he does not fire.

Gojyo is beginning to wonder if Sanzo is all there in the head. He can't for the life of him figure out why Sanzo wouldn't want to shoot the guy's brains out on sight. They can't risk him getting away or conjuring up another illusion. But despite Gojyo's frustration, he does not even consider acting before Sanzo does.

He knows better than take away another man's revenge.

"Koumyou and I talked about a lot of things back in those days. I suppose…I _would_ have to call him a friend. Well…the closest thing I could ever have to one. We talked about you some. Yes, I visited the temple several times before our meeting, little Koryuu, and you were one of Koumyou's favorite subjects. I came often. Always at night, of course. That's when Koumyou expected me, and I always have hated to disappoint. He used to tease me that I brought the darkness with me. But then…he was the moon, hanging so brilliantly in the dead of night. You must have felt the same about him, hmm?"

Sanzo has no response to this. He cannot fire, not yet, and yet it pains him to listen. He knows the others are refraining from attacking only because he is hesitant, and he also knows how dearly this could cost them. He should fire now, save them the worry of Ukoku doing something unexpected that could cost them everything they have worked for, but even as he is telling himself this…he stands frozen.

"He always could illuminate the things the rest of kept veiled or didn't understand. It was…irritating. And comforting. I'll admit, I often came to the temple seeking a way to get the sutras from him, either by force or coercion, but many times I went…just to be with him. I think in his presence was the only time I felt even close to…hmm." He stops himself, thinking perhaps he has spoken more than he meant to. "At any rate, you say you've been seeking me, but I've sought you too, little Koryuu. You had the sutra I couldn't get my hands on. Well…couldn't until now, of course. But I've always wondered if it would matter to you at all…" he trails, waiting forever it seems for someone else to prompt him onward.

"Wondered if what would matter?" Gojyo says at last, too impatient to wait for either Ukoku or Sanzo to speak.

Ukoku grins, but his eyes never once leave Sanzo's face. "I've wondered...if you would care that it was never my intention for Koumyou to die."

Sanzo's breath catches in his throat.

"You see, I wanted the sutras, and yes, Koumyou was quite adamant about not letting me have them. But when I sent that band of youkai, knowing Koumyou as I did I figured they would be little match for him. If they were lucky, maybe one would escape with one of the sutras, and that would have at least been something. But I hadn't counted on _you_. No…if it weren't for his damn preoccupation with you…he never would have been so weak as to die at the hands of those youkai. So you see…all this time you've been blaming me for his death. Hmph. And me…I've been blaming _you_."

The picture changes again. The room is the same but the blink of an eye has Ukoku suddenly gone.

Sanzo turns, sensing…something…though not understanding the presence he feels as anything more than deadly intent, and in that next moment he is face to face with the man he has chased for so long. He tries to shift his gun to fire but Ukoku is too close and moves too fast. The man has hold of Sanzo's wrist all too quickly and whips Sanzo around until the blonde is tightly held back against him.

Within this hold, Sanzo's gun is useless, but Ukoku, in all his triumph, holds Sanzo in perfect view of the others. It is the sweetest part of all this, to end it all with them as witness. He only wishes he could have crushed them earlier as he had initially planned, thereby robbing Koryuu of everything first. But this will have to do.

"All because of you…isn't that nice to know, Koryuu?" Ukoku whispers close beside Sanzo's ear. "It was all because of you."

Sanzo is shaking within Ukoku's hold, but though vanity may cause Ukoku to think Sanzo is frightened or beaten, the blonde feels only the fueling of rage.

It is no news to Sanzo that Koumyou's death is his fault. That is and always will be how Sanzo remembers the night his master died. He couldn't imagine any other possibility. He wasn't strong enough. He couldn't protect Koumyou. That's it, plain and simple. Maybe now, finally, he understands, really understands why Koumyou did what he did, but even when he was hating those youkai and later hating Ukoku…he still hated himself more than anything else.

Now, held by his enemy and so close to defeat, Sanzo refuses to be overcome by the past. _That_ is for the weak…and Genjyo Sanzo is strong.

This time the picture changes by Sanzo's design. And somehow…the others all know how to make it look just right.

When Sanzo slams his head back to knock Ukoku off balance, Hakkai is there to give the aided pull that rids Sanzo of the man's hold. When Hakkai throws Ukoku to the ground, Seiten Taisei is there to take hold of the man's arms. When Ukoku opens his mouth with a smile, his voice low and chanting like in the beginnings of a spell, Gojyo is there to clamp a tight hand over the man's mouth. When Ukoku struggles, Hakkai is there to hold down the man's legs. Soon, all that remains is Sanzo.

Crouching down at first, Sanzo merely stares at the very captive…monk before him. No, he could never call this man a monk like his master was and he is now. Sometimes…he wonders if he can even call himself one. And so instinct leads him to reach for the scriptures on Ukoku's shoulders. "These are not yours." He says, but even as he reaches for them they crumble under his touch. Another illusion, of course. The image Ukoku had been presenting fades to show him once again with his stubble and his labcoat, the scripture gone.

"Sanzo, for fuck's sake, shoot him already!"

Sanzo blinks. Gojyo's voice sounded so very far away, this whole thing surreal. He can almost hear Ukoku speaking, even with the man's mouth covered. Those weren't your scriptures, either, he seems to say. They never existed. Meaning Sanzo still has no idea where his master's scriptures are.

Standing, Sanzo stares down at the picture they have made, the picture of…_Nii_ being held by two creatures he could never be stronger than when it comes to strength of spirit, and being silenced by a man who would never let someone tell him to shut up—not without complaint, anyway.

Aiming the gun, steady as ever, steadier…Sanzo has to hold his breath as he fires…fours shots into Nii's chest. But these are not four for those you might expect. One for himself, yes. One for Koumyou, of course. One for…Shuuei…who would be alive today if those youkai hadn't been sent to Kinzan temple. And finally…one for Kami. One for the man who may have been a brother…if he hadn't been twisted as _this man_ was twisted.

Gojyo removes his hand, but Hakkai and Seiten Taisei hold tight. Nii is still alive, still smiling even, and though he coughs and spasms in the aftermath of those shots…he never once looks defeated.

Looking to each of those that aided in what will surely be his demise, Nii maintains that smile, looking last at dear little Koryuu who still has his gun squarely aimed. Nii realizes then that he never really understood what Koumyou meant until now.

'_If you're the Moon and I'm the Night, then...I wonder which side will be swallowed up first.'_

'_Shall we bet, Ukoku?'_

'_Sure. What are we staking?'_

'_What indeed. The one rising next…shall be the Sun.'_

But he never meant Koryuu, nor did he mean Genjyo Sanzo when Koumyou spoke those words. Nii realizes now…that the Sun…

"The Sun…" he breathes, blinded by the newly shining light of the moon, pushing through the clouds, as it reflects on Sanzo's golden hair.

Sanzo moves his aim to point the gun…between Nii's piercing eyes.

With the realization of what is to come, Nii is honestly, wholly…happy…for the first time he can remember. He closes his eyes and with one blessed thought breathes out, "Finally…"

Bang.

The moon outside has managed to peek out of the clouds, but even as it breaks free to shine brilliantly for the first time tonight, slowly a few thinner clouds like black mist settle over it and remain there as if they have joined the moon in its nightly vigil. Sanzo, having placed his gun neatly back inside his robes, looks up at the windows across from him and sees this, this bright moon partially covered by remnants of the night…and he isn't sure if he wants to shudder or smile.

Maybe relief…is all Sanzo is supposed to feel.

It is certainly a bit better than the great weight he feels when something small but surprisingly heavy comes from seemingly nowhere and tackles him to the ground. His instincts flare up at first and he struggles, wondering what has attacked him now, but when he sees the mass of brown hair and the golden eyes looking down at him, he understands.

Without even thinking about how he once would have thought this the most dangerous position he could ever find himself in…Sanzo reaches up and pulls Seiten Taisei down on top of him fully, and holds him there. He hears a laugh leave Gojyo, but the laugh is cut short but what he imagines has something to do with Hakkai.

Part of Sanzo would love to remain just as he is, holding Goku…even in this form…and feeling a sense of…an end. But he knows…he knows well…that this is not the end. That Koumyou is avenged seems unimportant. And after all, Sanzo still has to find those scriptures.

"Come on. We don't have time. Kougaiji and the others are probably awake and moving by now. We have to find the other scriptures." Though it is difficult, Sanzo sits up, even with Seiten Taisei still attached to him. But the heretic refuses to let go. "Get a grip, monkey. On second thought, _loosen_ it. We have to go. I'm going to need you for a little longer yet."

Seiten Taisei gives a small, offended growl.

"I didn't mean it that way. I'm going to need you for the rest of my miserable life, you brat. What I meant…is I need you to be like this, at your strongest but _with_ us…for just a little longer. Are you still up for that?"

Slowly, Seiten Taisei pulls away. He cocks his head as if considering before offering a quick nod. He is antsy but focused. And that is the most Sanzo could ask for.

The pair rises from the ground and Sanzo turns to survey Gojyo and Hakkai. Whatever may have happened between them, they are simply standing now, side by side and waiting for Sanzo to lead them onward. Hakkai looks just as antsy as Seiten Taisei but also focused. Dangerous as it may be, Sanzo hopes they can both hold on to themselves long enough to finish this.

"Let's go," he says, and turns for the way the came, not once looking to the body that will be left behind. Hakkai and Gojyo follow him.

It is not until they have reached the door that Sanzo turns back, sensing they are one member short.

"What are you doing, idiot?" he barks. "It's just a toy. Leave it."

Seiten Taisei has moved to the main window where Nii's stuffed bunny still sits, propped up to watch the show. Rather strangely, the beast reaches up with one of his clawed hands and bats the bunny onto the floor. He bends down then, sniffing the thing intensely.

The others don't understand this behavior, but it is Gojyo who finally laughs.

"What the hell? There catnip in there or somethin'?" he chuckles.

Hakkai grins a little at the comment, but Sanzo is not amused. "Get away from it." The monk says. "We have to go."

But Seiten Taisei is insistent. He sniffs harder, deeper into the bunny's body. When he finally looks up at Sanzo he makes a strange little grunt before swatting at the bunny with his hand again.

Quite irritated now, Sanzo stomps his way over to Seiten Taisei and that damn rabbit. "What? What is so important about this thing?" he demands.

Seiten Taisei just growls, looking at the stuffed animal and making swiping movements with his claws, though he never actually allows his claws to touch it. Somehow, Sanzo feels he understands what the beast is trying to tell him, or at least what he wants Sanzo to do. So, rather than sit here and deal with a mostly unintelligible monkey for another hour, Sanzo bends down, picks the rabbit up, grabs it by its head and its feet…and pulls as hard as he can.

The tearing sounds are met by pleased grunts from Seiten Taisei, but not nearly as much as how pleased the beast sounds…when a scripture falls from where it had been kept within the bunny's stuffing and clatters to the floor.

Sanzo is at first too shocked for words. He had thought the bunny a fetish of some kind, a sick toy, like all of Nii's things, but the damn bunny had served a purpose after all. And so Sanzo bends again, the bunny parts in one hand, and picks the scripture up. He lets it unroll a bit and studies the writing within.

It is slightly disappointing that it is not the Seiten Scripture, but he knows the scripture it actual is. It's Ukoku's. Part of Sanzo had forgotten the man had one of his own. It seems Nii had been keeping this final scripture to himself until he was ready for the resurrection. Meaning, regardless of what Kougaiji and the others are dealing with, Gyumaou isn't going anywhere yet.

"Good boy, Goku. Wanna fetch the rest of them while you're at it." Gojyo smirks, looking right at Seiten Taisei, of course, and really reveling in being able to treat the beast just as he would treat Goku.

Seiten Taisei growls a bit, but does nothing.

Even with this find, it is still time to go, and Sanzo heads for the exit without another word, allowing the torn bunny to fall from his hand just as he is passing the body he hopes to never see again.

"Goku." He says, even as he is passing through the exit. "At risk of agreeing with the cockroach…" and he holds the sutra out to the side for Seiten Taisei to sniff again.

The beast is quickly a blur, moving ahead of them to lead the way…to the site of Gyumaou's restoration.

A/N: OMG! Can I say that rocked and not sound conceited? I usually am very critical of myself, but I really like how this chapter came out. Let me know, and please feel free to ask any questions regarding what happened to Nii and why. There are some things I don't want to say for fear of spoiling you to much, but I will say that the little convo between Ukoku and Koumyou was cannon.

I must say hello to one of my dearest friends who is currently in Nagasaki. So often must she deal with me posting a new chapter rather than emailing her, which is very cruel. So, to my fellow redhead who I love dearly, I will be writing to you soon.

As for the rest of you, get ready for so more action ahead, coz it ain't over yet. :-)

Crim


	24. Nii's Parting Gift

Nii's Parting Gift

* * *

Nothing Kougaiji does makes his feet move any faster. The corridors before them stretch on so endlessly—the elevator having been unusable, leaving them to travel the long way down the stairs and down every hallway that exists in the castle. The basement is not far off now, but Kougaiji cannot shake a feeling of unease, and he fears he will be too late, though for what he is not entirely sure. 

Lirin is what matters most, not even whether or not Gymaou's resurrection is already underway, but knowing Nii and that damn woman, chances are Lirin is part of the master plan for the resurrection's success and has been all along. The prospect makes Kougaiji so angry his fists clench tight enough to dig his claws into the palms of his hands.

Noticing their prince's anxiety, Yaone and Dokugakuji, both only a few steps behind Kougaiji, feel about as close to helpless as they can remember. They will do their duty to protect their lord and Lirin at any cost, backing Kougaiji up and fighting for his cause no matter the obstacles. But it is Kougaiji's more personal well-being that they are concerned with now. If something has happened to Lirin or if, gods forbid, they are unable to save her from whatever scheme is being planned, they know Kougaiji will never be able to forgive himself. He would become a different man, never again to be the same proud and resilient leader they have come to know. The prospect of such an outcome is chilling, just as the thought of Lirin being lost to them is.

"Here! Hurry!" Kougaiji calls back to them, knowing they are with him by instinct since he does not look back as he speaks.

The doors to Gyumaou's chambers is just ahead of them now and to the group's surprise there is not a single guard outside the entrance to stop unwanted guests. This is fortunate, though Kougaiji and the others have a pretty good idea why this is, and they are proven to be quite right when they reach the doors and throw them open.

Within the large chamber that houses Gyumaou's slumbering form, there are swarms of youkai moving about, each seemingly with their own task. Kougaiji, who has been to this room often, has never seen so many people working at once. He quickly discovers Gyokumen Koushu at the base of Gyumaou's body, directing the many youkai and shouting orders. Beside her and hooked up to the many machines…is a tank. A tank holding only one precious creature within it.

Lirin.

Kougaiji is without words, furious that his suspicions are correct, that this…woman…would use her own daughter, trade over her own daughter's life to bring back a man that never loved anything his entire life. It is pathetic and foolish. It makes Kougaiji angrier than he could ever say.

Fists clenching even tighter than before, Kougaiji straightens his posture, standing tall as he takes the first few steps towards Gyokumen Koushu. Yaone and Dokugakuji advance with him, each with their weapons summoned and at the ready, though lowered to await Kougaiji's command.

Before the group has gotten much closer to their quarry, Gyokumen Koushu turns, having just thrown out some sharp comment at an apparently incompetent lackey, and spots Kougaiji's group approaching.

She grimaces. "Finally. Be of some use for a change, will you." And without another glance at them, she turns, returning her attentions to the frantically working youkai around her.

It wouldn't surprise Kougaiji if the woman has absolutely no idea what Nii has been doing the past few days, including all that went on with Kougaiji and his companions leaving, being forced to feign betrayal (though they had intended it for real anyway) and then bringing back the Sanzo-ikkou. The extent of Gyokumen Koushu's knowledge probably stops at the sutras having been gathered. All she really cares about is the living corpse hovering over them, after all. The whats and whys of getting her way would be supremely less important.

Kougaiji's knuckles crack from the tightening of his fists. Yaone and Dokugakuji raise their weapons, recognizing what is wanted of them without a word ever having to be spoken.

"I will do nothing that aids this cause anymore." Kougaiji growls, loud and menacing to recapture Gyokumen Koushu's attention. "I have come for my sister and the sutras. That mindless fool you can keep. But this resurrection ends here."

At first Kougaiji wonders if she has heard him, so focused on her ordering about, but with her back facing them Gyokumen Koushu soon begins to laugh. She laughs for some time before she finally turns to look back at them again. "Has the little prince finally grown a backbone? But what of your own mindlessfool. That bitch, your mother, hmm? Have you forgotten her? Even if you had the sutras you wouldn't know how to use them to bring her back."

"That has been taken care of." Kougaiji replies, though he still has no idea what condition the Sanzo-ikkou might be in.

Gyokumen Koushu's smirk forms into a dreadful scowl. "Your sister is also my daughter, if you forget. She and the sutras belong to me. Besides, you're too late to stop us. As soon as Nii gets down here with the last sutra, which he has assured me he has discovered, then the resurrection will finally begin."

"Do you mean this sutra…you damn ugly hag."

Kougaiji feels a rush of relief, brighter and more warming than he could ever remember, and for a moment he understands why Goku calls Sanzo the sun. Looking over his shoulder to see the group he knows will be standing in the entrance, Kougaiji and his companions are all momentarily stunned to see Sanzo, Gojyo…and a strangely marked youkai Hakkai alongside the dangerous and bloodthirsty Seiten Taisei.

The few youkai who are rushing about the room on Gyokumen Koushu's orders stop and take notice of the newcomers, despite having paid so little attention to Kougaiji when he came in. This is understandable, of course, seeing as how the Sanzo-ikkou is not generally expected to be mulling about the castle. It is Gyokumen Koushu who looks especially troubled by this and she gives a great shout, pointing at the Sanzo party accusingly.

"Attack them, you fools! That sutra is mine! The Muten Scripture belongs to me!"

The youkai minions are hesitant. Many have never seen the Sanzo-ikkou but they recognize them, they known of them, and they know to be afraid. They had not been aware there were two full youkai and a halfbreed with the monk, and to fight their own kind makes them even warier.

"Now! Did you hear me! Attack!"

A few foolish youkai ready themselves to obey, but Kougaiji, Yaone, and Dokugakuji move back towards their friends. They have not moved to protect Sanzo and the others for they know this to be unnecessary, but they move anyway to prove where there loyalties lie.

Not with Gyokumen Koushu.

"You attack us too then. Do you really want to do that?" Kougaiji growls, knowing full well that many of the youkai in this chamber would be loyal to him first if they hadn't gotten sucked into that damn woman's scheming. "You can't have this scripture. As for the others, I think it's time you handed them over to us…you horrid heartless bitch!"

Sanzo gives a small smirk to Kougaiji's very well-executed insult and smugly places the Muten scripture back inside his robes.

Gojyo snorts, followed by a similar noise from his brother.

Yaone…swells with pride that Kougaiji has finally called that woman what she really is to her face. Yaone would never commend foul language of course, but sometimes it really is necessary.

Stunned first at being insulted so openly, then at how her minions have yet to obey her orders to attack, and finally at Kougaiji's audacity for actually meaning his words when he spouted betrayal, Gyokumen Koushu is positively fuming. "And just how did you get that final scripture from Nii, hmm? I doubt he would hand it over easily." She says, her nose turned up and her voice dripping with distaste for her present company.

Having the best answer for that, and taking the most pleasure at being able to say so, Sanzo steps forward to answer, coming parallel with Kougaiji. "We got it from him…because we killed him." He says. "I think you should listen to the prince and hand over the others. That is, if you don't want to join him quickly."

Gyokumen Koushu bristles, realizing little by little that her many supposedly loyal minions are fleeing, rushing out of whatever exits they can find that are far from where the Sanzo-ikkou and Kougaiji-tachi are standing. "You…you bastards! You think you can waltz in here and just--"

"Take what's ours?" Gojyo finishes, tightening his grip on his shakujou and smirking at the woman up on Gyumaou's platform. "The scriptures are Sanzo's, far as I can tell, and the little lady ain't yours either. Mothers lose their right to their kids the second they're willing to hurt them just to get something for themselves." Gojyo does not pause on this statement, though he passes a brief glance at his brother who he is happier to see than he has the time to let on. "You wanna keep the corpse, go ahead. Fine by me. The rest, lady, I'm afraid we're gonna be taking with us."

As if to accentuate Gojyo's statements Hakkai and Seiten Taisei give like growls, each focused intensely on Gyokumen Koushu for fear of their increasing animalistic sides being unleashed on their friends.

It isn't that Hakkai does not wish to extend his relief that Yaone, Dokugakuji, and the good prince are well, but those thoughts are not prominent in his mind. The longer he goes without his limiters, the more in touch with his youkai side he feels. For him, the beast within is more like a beast, more like…Seiten Taisei…than like a normal youkai.

Seiten Taisei is feeling much the same. He has found a semblance of control but that control is waning. He has been free for so long he is beginning to question his motives again. He wants to help his remembered friends, he wants to keep himself from acting out against these new figures that he has to remind himself are also on his side. But he remembers fighting Kougaiji once as well. And Dokugakuji. Yaone he has never faced, but all three of them are in his memories more than once. Separating memories of these three as friends from memories of them as enemies is very difficult.

Staying trained on Gyokumen Koushu and their knowledge that she is their true target is all that is keeping Hakkai and Seiten Taisei as focused as they are remaining. They want to act now. They want to attack. They want to feel their claws and fangs digging into something fleshy and warm and breathing.

Yaone shakes her head. She really should be focusing on the Lady rather than her new friends. But never before has she seen Hakkai without his limiters. She knew he was youkai of course, and she did see Goku as Seiten Taisei quite recently. Seeing Hakkai though, she admits that it sets her heart aflutter somewhat. She has always admired the man and considers herself lucky that they can finally be friends, but she really shouldn't allow the sudden attraction swelling up in her at his sudden appearance.

It's just so hard when he looks so amazingly wild like that.

Catching Yaone's straying attention, Dokugakuji smirks at her before returning to the situation at hand. Though being caught in her musings makes Yaone blush a bit, it reminds her where her eyes should be trained. There is a battle brewing, even if it will most likely prove easy. Yaone will just have to put such girlish thoughts out of her head for now. Besides, she cannot forget her prince. No…she could never do that. Much as she may like Hakkai, Yaone has never doubted her love for Kougaiji. And after all, it was Hakkai who helped her see that.

Up on the platform, Gyokumen Koushu is not looking very happy. She has been insulted by her own insignificant semi-step-son, abandoned by her lackeys, and talked down to by a human and a halfbreed brat. Top that off with her still being one sutra short of being able to complete the resurrection, along with the news of Nii's demise, and she has had enough of things not going her way.

"So…you've finished off the good doctor have you?" she says with a sneer. Pity. He was such good fun. But don't think it's going to stop me just because he's gone. Nii was kind enough to ensure me things would go smoothly even if something happened to him. He left me insurance, you see. Maybe it's time I used it…" Reaching up onto the next platform where Gyumaou's feet rest, she digs her clawed and well-manicured hands around the back of one of the machines and pulls out what appears to be a very small chip of some sort. "Ha. I knew he wouldn't disappoint me. Right where he said it would be."

"And just what the hell is that?" Sanzo breaks in, already readying his gun, since he is in no mood to deal with any of Nii's toys anymore. As far as he is concerned the man is dead and should stay dead, which should also include all of the little gadgets he left behind.

Gyokumen Koushu just laughs, though there is something in her eyes that makes Sanzo wonder if she even knows herself what the chip is. Despite her more than likely ignorance, the youkai woman wastes no time before placing the chip behind her left ear, where it adheres itself easily.

Sanzo curses inwardly, especially when Gyokumen Koushu starts to scream. Yet again they have failed to act as quickly as they should have. But he hesitated because he wanted to know for sure this time the location of the other fours sutras. He knows they are in this room, the damn woman practically said so herself, but where…where…

Looking up the body of Gyumaou and away from the now convulsing body of Gyokumen Koushu, Sanzo finally spots the prize he has been waiting so long for. There is a very finely crafted holder fastened to the great demon king's chest, and within are places for the five heavenly scriptures. Four of them are already there, one being Sanzo's own, another the one he vowed to find that was taken from his master.

Returning his attention to Gyokumen Koushu, Sanzo points his gun. Nothing else matters now, not what Nii has left behind or how much this bitch thinks she can change things for her own ends. This ends here. When it is over Sanzo is going to walk out of the castle doors with everything that belongs to him.

He fires.

And the shot absorbs itself into Gyokumen Koushu's form, much like Sanzo remembers having happened with gods. Like Homura. "Damn." The monk curses. Too late. Whatever Nii gave this woman, it is already taking affect.

Around Sanzo the others have their weapons raised and ready, though none think to attack after the failure of Sanzo's shot. Something is happening to Gyokumen Koushu, something that sounds painful and looks entirely impossible. Little by little as the chip—whatever it is—takes affect, she seems to…grow. Sanzo, Kougaiji, and the others take instinctive steps back, watching as she grows larger, her fangs sharper, her claws longer, everything about her seemingly stronger and more radiant with power they can feel almost tangibly.

This is bad. It is not hard to see what Nii has done. With the possibility of Gyumaou's resurrection failing, the doctor had insured something as close to Gyumaou as possible would still rise to face those standing in the experiment's way. Whatever data Nii collected these long years, it has all gone into this, causing Gyokumen Koushu to appear very much like a female version of her lover, though Gyumaou himself remains slumbering.

Sanzo can only guess that things from the gods themselves, perhaps because of the youkai Homura once deified, along with many other data from who knows how many experiments went into this. The amount of power he can feel from the woman makes it impossible to imagine anything less. It would seem Nii has left them a final present after all. And if they fail to defeat this new form of the Lady Gyokumen, they will either be dead or soon in the presence of the great demon king himself.

"I take it this is bad." Gojyo says, releasing shakujou into Gyokumen's side even though he knows just by looking at this new form of hers that it will probably bounce right off. It does. "Shit. Couldn't he have left her a better parting gift? Like wrinkle remover or a new vibrator or something."

Gyokumen has yet to recover fully enough to return her attention to her enemies, though many of them are already attacking her. Hakkai and Seiten Taisei are very twitchy, but Sanzo shouted very clearly to them not to attack yet, not close-up until they can better figure out how to do this. Now is not the time to be foolhardy. They have the closest thing to their own army as they are ever going to get. They have to use it wisely.

Therefore, Hakkai consented to send a few blasts of his increasingly more powerful chi, but deep down his animal side wants to rip into something, and soon.

Seiten Taisei looks to Sanzo and growls low in his throat, almost like a warning, or at the very least a show of disapproval. After all, Hakkai can still attack, Gojyo can, Yaone can throw her explosives, Kougaiji can shoot fire, and Sanzo can shoot his gun—if he so chooses. Only Seiten Taisei and Dokugakuji have nothing long-range to use in attacking, and despite there being at least one other person looking as unhappy about being useless as he does, Seiten Taisei does not feel any better about sitting on the sidelines.

Recovering finally from the full force of her transformation and looking like a near sixty-foot youkai woman now with increased muscle, heightened power, and longer claws and fangs, Gyokumen turns at last back down at the Sanzo and Kougaiji-ikkou. If anyone would have called her attractive before this, they certainly would change their tune now. Her wicked grin turns her even uglier as she leers down at the small forms below her. Whatever she plans for them, it is doubtful it will be pretty.

Sanzo takes a little pleasure in that she has at least forgotten the sutras, which means if he can just defeat this damn bitch than he can finally have them without anyone to stand in his way. Kougaiji takes some comfort as well, because his sister is safe enough for the moment, and waiting in plain sight to be rescued. All the groups have to do now…is kill the big bad witch.

"We have to attack together! All at once!" Kougaiji shouts, moving out of the way quickly as one of Gyokumen's enlarged hands slam down at the spot he had just been standing. "She can't deflect everyone's attacks if we do it together!"

Meeting Sanzo's eyes, Kougaiji looks for confirmation, only briefly allowing this time to make sure the monk is okay with taking orders. This plan, minor plan though it may be, may be the best they can hope for. With violent on violent, and Sanzo indeed being a reasonable man, the monk nods his assent and shuts to the others. "Everyone! Everything you have in you!"

Seiten Taisei smirks before suddenly disappearing from sight.

Hakkai gathers a large amount of chi and rushes forward to deliver it by way of own sharpened claws.

Gojyo swings his shakujou up towards the she-demon's face.

Dokugakuji lets out a great cry before charging and leaping into the air to attack Gyokumen's midsection with his sword.

Yaone leaps up as well, firing as many bombs as she can at the woman's legs to destabilize her.

Kougaiji begins chanting, low but as quickly as his lips can move in hopes of summoning the creature bound to him, even with so many at risk of being caught in its path.

And Sanzo…stands back, seeing it all, the great mass of everyone moving as one…and knows, beyond a doubt…that they are going to fail.

He doesn't even try to fire. He can see it before it happens. Before Gyokumen swipes madly with her claws, catching Yaone and Dokugakuji at once and sending them careening into Kougaiji before his summon could even begin, Sanzo knew it would happen. Before Gojyo's chain got caught by Gyokumen's other hand and she tugged, pulling him forward so that he crashed into Hakkai, Sanzo knew that chi blast would never get released. Before Gyokumen whirled around and struck Seiten Taisei just as he rematerialized above her, poised for a moment to attack her before being suddenly…impaled by her collective claws and sent flying into the far reaches of the room, Sanzo knew it was going to happen. He always knew. He always knew this would end with at least one of his things not coming home with him.

But he could have just imagined how deeply that strike looked with Gyokumen's claws pressed deep into Seiten Taisei's body. He could have imagined the flash of dark, crimson blood he saw before Goku…Goku's body went flying out of view. He could be imagining the fear sinking into the put of his stomach that such a foolish miscalculation just cost him his dearest treasure in a simple, single strike.

But he knows he is not imagining any of it.

"No…" It is the only thing he can think to say.

Everyone is down, some too dazed to get up right away. Hakkai and Gojyo had fallen together very close to Gyokumen's feet, but Hakkai's increased quickness pulled them out of her reach before she could strike them again. Gojyo is grateful that Hakkai not only had the strength to move that fast after colliding so hard, but also that Hakkai even in his this form came to his rescue. Sanzo is not so lucky as to be thinking sentimentalities though. He is looking in the direction Goku was thrown, but the monkey is not reappearing.

"You can dodge weapons and simple attacks….but can you dodge this?" Sanzo does not care that his voice quakes when he speaks. He is not speaking in all honesty so that she can hear him. He reaches into his robes to retrieve the Muten Scripture and though the mere thought of such an act gave him chills before, he places them on his shoulders and begins to chant.

Scriptures are picky but not discriminatory. He knows they will not care that he is not Ukoku. But the sutras do not respond to the same spells. He cannot simply shout Makai Tenjou and expect the Muten scripture to react as the Maten scripture would. He has learned other spells, other spells that are more general, spells that would work for any of the sutras equally. He has never tried them before, reliant on Makai Tenjou to get the job done. This time, however, he is willing to try anything.

The others do not need to be told what they must do while Sanzo prepares his attack. They know that at all costs they must keep Gyokumen from disrupting him. When Kougaiji moves to aid in the distractions, however, Hakkai appears suddenly before him and with a tight, clawed grip, holds the prince back and shakes his head. Deep jade eyes meet violet briefly and then Hakkai is gone, off to join the others in their possibly perilous attacks.

Kougaiji is not sure at first he understood what Hakkai meant, but a look back at Sanzo makes him wonder. If Sanzo is able to draw a spell from the sutra…and at the same time Kougaiji attacks with his summon…maybe the combined attack would be just what they need. It never occurred to Kougaiji that anything but a full on, everyone together attack would work. But then again, working together doesn't always have to be about everyone working together at the same time. Doing things like this might just do the trick.

Kougaiji straightens, focuses his remaining energy, and begins to chant. He will not be interrupted this time. The others will make certain of that.

Hakkai, Gojyo, Dokugakuji, and Yaone are not having any easier of a time, however, but they are smarter, able to dodge more and not giving her any single openings with which to swipe them away in a single stroke. Hakkai delivers blasts of chi alongside Yaone's bombs strikes, but he also rushes quickly forward to attack with his claws, often without any pattern. Gojyo aims lower this time with his shakujou, catching Gyokumen around the ankle instead of up where she can catch the chain. With her distracted, Dokugakuji moves in on her other side to swing with his sword, finally managing to get in a few decent strikes. The damage they are doing, even collectively, is not enough, but it is doing the job of distracting her and keeping themselves in tact long enough to give Sanzo and Kougaiji their in.

Almost ready with his summon, Kougaiji looks to see that Sanzo is still chanting madly. He wonders if perhaps the spell Sanzo is using takes more time, more energy, but he cannot wait much longer before releasing his own attack. He only hopes that Sanzo will follow it soon after so that their strike will be that much more powerful together.

Kougaiji is therefore surprised when Sanzo—unaware of Kougaiji also being about to attack—gives a great shout at the finish of his spell and sends the Muten scripture forward. Taking his cue from the monk, Kougaiji all too eagerly releases his great fire beast, following on the tails of the sutra.

"Move back!" Kougaiji cries upon release, warning the others to make way as the attacks approach.

Keeping shakujou wrapped around Gyokumen's ankle as long as he dares, Gojyo finally makes a break for it, followed by Hakkai and the others, who had also waited as long as possible before giving the youkai woman any chance to dodge the coming attack.

They have done their job well, for Gyokumen turns to see the scriptures and great beast of fire too late to move or block. The scripture grab hold of her, burning her skin, and the fire beast rushes through her body, bidden to release its blast of energy from within her, which makes her glow red and look truly like a beast from hell caught by a holy light. The scriptures tighten, sizzling now with little streams of smoke rising from Gyokumen's body. She continues to glow red, the fire beast intensifying its attack as it readies for the final blast.

But Gyokumen is angry, pained and furious, and though caught by the two very powerful spells she moves forward towards the others. Seeing that Sanzo is the only one of them that is still somewhat attached to the attack being sent upon her, she turns her attentions on him. Him. Genjou Snazo. He is the cause of it all, the reason she has had to wait this long, the reason she has been deprived of her love, the reason she might perish now before seeing her desires carried out. He is the one. He…must not be allowed to survive this.

With a great, blaring scream, Gyokumen rushes forward, still burning red, and sizzling with white light. Sanzo cannot move for fear of stopping the spell before it has finished. He stands his ground, daring her to kill him, daring her to send him to where she sent Goku. Though what he once considered his greatest desire—to have his master's sutra returned—could so easily be fulfilled if only he survived this last battle, Sanzo knows now that his desires have changed. The one thing he really wants to bring back with him to the temple…is Goku. Just Goku. Anything else is so much lessened that Sanzo welcomes death if it means he doesn't have to return to that place alone.

Closing his eyes as the blow approaches, and blocking out the sounds of his friends yelling his name, Sanzo continues the spell, holding it in his heart so that even as she strikes it will do its job. He brings his hands together like a prayer, and though overuse has his bad wrist lightly throbbing, he feels…at peace. Deep down he knows it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't even feel sad really. Or angry. He feels…calm. Like…like…

Like he has suddenly realized Goku's voice never once left his head.

Sanzo's eyes snap open. Goku's voice. He can…hear it. Gyokumen's attack is coming and the sutra's spell will not be finished in time for Sanzo to move without breaking it. And yet…Sanzo realizes that if he does not move now, he will be making the worst mistake of his life.

Without another thought, Sanzo dives to the side, avoiding Gyokumen's claws and causing the large woman to stumble and crash to the floor, knocking machinery down as she goes. It is then, from his place on the ground, that Sanzo sees Seiten Taisei. Bloody and howling, the beast is atop Gyokumen now, on her back, right above where the heart of Kougaiji's beast is still waiting to deliver its blast.

The scene plays out almost as if it had been planned all along. Kougaiji, seeing that Seiten Taisei is about to strike right at the back of Gyokumen's heart and right where the greatest power of the fire summon is waiting, holds his breath on his friend's movement. When Seiten Taisei brings his claws down, Kougaiji lets his summon deliver the blow that will release the fire beast back into its own realm. The strikes attack together, and the flash of bright light when they do so is blinding. Seiten Taisei howls just as loudly as Gyokumen does, and not one person from the watching group can see clear enough to know what has happened until the light fades.

It is soon clear that Gyokumen's death has returned her to her true form, even with the little chip still placed behind her ear. But where the others place their attention is on the small form of Seiten Taisei, at first standing, and then…crumbling, not forward or back, just down, down at Sanzo's feet.

Yes, Sanzo is there just as Seiten Taisei falls, having rushed forward even before the light had completely faded. He catches the beast before he can hit the ground fully and lets himself fall too until both are on the floor.

"Goku…" Sanzo breathes, not having to ask or wonder anymore, but knowing that the gold he is looking into is so much Goku now. He runs his hands through the long brown hair and tries not to look at the blood staining his love's clothing. "Stupid monkey. Why do you always have to do more than you need to? Why do you have to come to my rescue? I don't need anyone saving me, you understand, not even if it comes in that damn voice of yours."

Though his mouth bares bright and gleaming fangs, Seiten Taisei's smile looks amazingly tender. "Sanzo…" is all he can say.

From out of the ranks of onlookers, Hakkai, still in his youkai form and all but lost within his animalistic mindset now, still has the sense to kneel beside Sanzo and Seiten Taisei and offer his talent with chi. As with attacks, his healing is brighter, stronger than usual, and the warmth of it reaches all the way into Sanzo while Seiten Taisei is being healed. Since Hakkai doesn't look all that worried when he pulls his hands away, Sanzo knows he doesn't have to worry either.

He knew, somehow he knew that it would take something entirely otherworldly to kill Seiten Taisei. Maybe even the heavens wouldn't be enough. In the end, he really is just a rechargeable monkey after all.

"Idiot." Sanzo says, and pulls the beast in for a hug, not caring that every one of their companions is looking on. Well, they can look. They can see that Sanzo is happy, truly happy to hold his love close, and they can see that he is trembling at the feeling of finally being…done. Finally. Nii had been the beginning only. Now…there is nothing between him and the sutras. Between him…and going home with his friends.

It happens all at once, like a deep sigh that spills out over all of them. Kougaiji rushes over to the tank holding Lirin, followed by Dokugakuji, who uses his sword to break the glass and Yaone, holding back by Gojyo and Hakkai, meets the jade of Hakkai's slit eyes and blushes at first, until she realizes his sudden and very piercing stare is a request.

"Gojyo-san, do you have Hakkai-sans limiters?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"I think it may be best if you gave them back to him now. He has been without them for some time, hasn't he?"

"How'd you know?" But Gojyo is already fishing in his pockets, and heads over to Hakkai to place the limiters back himself.

"The look he just gave me…seemed very much like a look from someone who feared they might hurt those they care about. You may be surprised how easy it is for me to know that look. I think I have seen it in…my own loved ones…too often."

Gojyo is pretty sure he knows just what Yaone means. Clipping back into place each of Hakkai's ear cuffs without protest from the brunette, Gojyo puts his arms around Hakkai as soon as the man begins to tremble, shifting back into his human form with perhaps a little more difficulty than usual. It seems to take a lot more out of his body this time. Or perhaps his human form is dealing with all the energy his youkai form expended so thoughtlessly.

Seiten Taisei is still purring contently against Sanzo's chest when Kougaiji and Dokugakuji return to the group, a slumbering Lirin—wet but wrapped in Kougaiji's long white vest—held in the prince's arms. Sanzo doesn't entirely mind that he currently has a purring heretic attached to him, and he briefly, humorously wonders just how much the beast really is like some strange cross between a dog and a cat when he is tame. But now that most other things have returned to normal, it is time Goku returned to them as well.

"Goku…" Sanzo says, pulling from the embrace. He looks into those slit gold eyes and knows there is nothing that needs to be said. They can read each other so well now, in all forms, that Sanzo believes Goku and Seiten Taisei could never doubt his love or devotion. Still, since this whole thing began Sanzo has been wondering how the beast would react to being told he must be caged in.

It comes as a slight surprise then when Seiten Taisei smiles and dips his head ever so slightly, almost as if he is inviting Sanzo to summon a coronet. Sanzo lifts his hand, never once looking away from gold eyes as he places it on the beast's brow and chants. The glow of gold doesn't bring with it the same relief Sanzo is used to, just a sense of accomplishment. Finally, fully and completely, it really does not matter if the limiter breaks or gets taken from them. Never again—he simply refuses—will Sanzo fear having to be the bearer of his monkey's death.

Never.

As always, Goku convulses forward when the limiter has formed, his youkai features faded, and his weight causes Sanzo to topple back a bit. Before Goku can fall fully onto Sanzo's chest, however, limp, as he should be, the monkey's arms shoot out to catch himself. To Sanzo's complete and utter shock—as well as the shock of everyone else—Goku pushes himself up, big golden eyes bright and very much awake, and smiles broadly down at Sanzo with a look of sheer triumph.

"Awesome. You know, it feels really warm when you do that. It's kinda nice. Still hope I can get rid of this thing for good one day though."

Sanzo is speechless. Goku has not passed out. Granted, Goku's amount of time staying passed out has been decreasing significantly, but still, through the night and into the next day is almost for certain. At least a few hours would be expected. "How…you…you remember? You're awake? You're…okay?"

"Sure. I'm fine." Goku says with a bright smile. He lifts up more fully, stares down with a sour expression at his messed clothing, but eventually stands, smiles out at everyone and lends a hand down to Sanzo. "Let's get out of this room though, huh? I'm starving. You got good food in this place, Kou?" the monkey asks, after having helped Sanzo to his feet as well.

Kougaiji stands a moment, unable to speak, but since he really does want to clean Lirin up and make sure she's okay, and since he also really wants to get away from this room as quickly as possible, he eventually cannot stop himself from smiling at Goku's suggestion. "Yeah, Goku. We have good food. And you can eat as much of it as you like."

Few phrases sounded as good to Goku as this one. "Sweet! Can you show me the kitchen before competition wakes up?" And though Goku is only half-serious, he nods his head at Lirin as he says this.

Yaone giggles, knowing Goku's words to be mainly jest, and Kougaiji just shakes his head. Before anyone can go anywhere, however, Sanzo clears his throat to recapture their attention. "I'm not leaving this room without those." He points up to the four sutras placed in the contraption by Gyumaou's chest. If Sanzo can help it he never wants to use the Muten scripture again, though he does admit that there was a certain poetic justice to using Ukoku's own sutra to end the war.

"I got this." Gojyo says with a smirk, and stepping a bit closer to the machines holding Gyumaou's body, he lets loose shakujou up towards the box so that it cuts whatever had been holding the thing to Gyumaou's chest. When the box falls, the sutras thankfully staying in place—since Sanzo has half a mind to kill Gojyo if the sutras fall and clatter to the ground—Gojyo successfully catches the whole thing, though not without a little unbalancing that almost knocks him over. Damn, the thing is heavier than he thought. "That's that, huh? Hard to believe we were all fighting over these things. Just a bunch of paper really."

"Says the ignorant who doesn't understand." Sanzo grumbles and meets Gojyo halfway back to the group to snatch the sutras away from him.

Sanzo collects all of them, plucking them from their places in the box, and places each one inside his robes. He holds the Seiten Scripture a moment, willing away the pleased smile that would be a little more uncharacteristic than he wants right now. He does eventually place it in his robes as well, but his own Maten Scriptures he puts back on his shoulders where they belong.

"Let's go."

"Sanzo."

Fully intent on…well, following Goku to the kitchen, in all honesty, Sanzo turns back to look at Kougaiji who has spoken with mild annoyance.

"Don't forget our bargain." Kougaiji explains. "The sutras are yours. I want nothing to do with them. But your part's not over yet."

Sanzo has not forgotten, and would never go back on his word, even if in some ways the Kougaiji-tachi initially went back on theirs. "Feed the monkey…and then lead the way." Sanzo says.

Gojyo and Hakkai share a smile.

Yaone and Dokugakuji do the same.

Sanzo gives Kougaiji a little nod before turning to head for the entrance where Goku is already waiting. "It's about time these damn things were used for life again." The monk grumbles.

A/N: Yep, all I did all day was write. And I have a final tomorrow at 9am. Uh huh. This is how much I love you. You can thank my roommate who battered her pretty eyes and said, "You know what you could do tonight..." and then I had no choice. :-) Hope this was as enjoyable to read as it was to write. My heart is still racing. There will be another chapter and then an epilogue. Sadly, I won't finish the story before the semester ends so my roommate will no longer have the inside scoop for the ending. Maybe I can get the last regular chapter up this week. We'll see.

Wow. The response on the last part was frickin' amazing. 26 reviews or something. You guys rock! It's nice to know when you're out there. I mean, FF tells me there are 300 regulars and 600+ stragglers, but to hear from you guys really makes me feel like you're enjoying the ride. Thanks for always brightening my day. Here's to not being quite done yet.

Crim


	25. Easy

Easy

* * *

Dinner was indeed the first thing the entire crew—both the Sanzo and Kougaiji-ikkou—did after the battle with Gyokumen Koushu. Lirin woke up groggy at first, but was so thrilled to see "Baldy and his group" doing okay that her jubilant nature kicked in with full force in no time at all. She only managed to steal a few pieces of the shared meal off of Goku's plate, but the monkey couldn't bring himself to bicker about it. He was just too happy. And he was not the only one.

Yaone, with Hakkai's help of course, had prepared the meal, and they had eaten contentedly, even when Kougaiji and Sanzo excused themselves for quite some time to make a little reconnaissance of the castle, gathering those who would be loyal to the youkai prince and easily taking care of the few—very few—supporters of Gyokumen. They returned to the others with a handful of youkai needing mild healing, who Hakkai healed as best he could with light ki and then bandaged with Yaone's assistance, but they also brought with them someone they believed needed a bit more attention rather than a swift death.

"Unhand me!" Hwan hisses, her arm gripped tightly by Sanzo as he pushes her into the room the crew gathered in after their meal. Her white lab coat is somewhat smudged with dirt, more than likely from the machines she had been cowering behind before Kougaiji sniffed her out. "I said, let me go!" she yells again, wrenching her arm free but ending up in a pitiful heap on the ground for all her trouble.

Sanzo towers over her, no gun in hand but imposing enough on his own, and with Kougaiji and not to mention Dokugakuji, Yaone, Gojyo, Hakkai, Goku, and Lirin within easy view as well, Hwan flinches from the angry attention placed upon her. "So you were his little helper." Sanzo sneers. "From what Kougaiji tells me, Nii wouldn't have been half as efficient with everything if it hadn't been for _your_ help. One little human among demons, and you can't call Ukoku human so you really were the only one. So I want to know. What did you hope to get out of this?"

Head held high despite her recoiling, Hwan ignores the question. "You have what you want, don't you. The scriptures. All of them. So there's no need for me anymore, is there? Nii is gone, and good riddance, I say. Lady Gyokumen…I failed her cause and for that alone I am regretful. Nothing else. Do with me what you will."

Across the room, Gojyo lets out a huff. "Careful, sister, we might take you seriously." He says. "But I don't think you really mean that, or at least you don't think we'll actually do anything too unfriendly. We're the good guys after all, right? Well…" he trails off to smirk with self-satisfaction. "…we're better than some anyway. So you don't really think we'll rape and pillage and torture you til kingdom come. Maybe the real question is what do you want now that the bitch and good doctor are gone."

"To do something never before done, a perfect melding of magic and science." Hwan says by way of answer, her face proud and head still loftily lifted at the chin. "What could be more desirable than that? I cared nothing for Gyumaou. But the act of raising him, of freeing him, that…would have been…something."

"Something?" Sanzo repeats, his sneer still strong though there is no real malice in his expression. Any one who knows the monk would easily be able to tell he has no intention of killing the woman, though a small part of him may want to anyway purely to get rid of the nuisance of her presence. "Sounds to me like you never really knew what was precious to you, what you were fighting for. Maybe out in the world, this _new_ world where the minus wave will soon be nothing but a memory…you can finally figure it out." Sanzo passes his gaze to Kougaiji, asking the prince for confirmation of this decision.

Kougaiji nods once, seeing little interest in killing or imprisoning the woman, and no one standing with them makes any motion or mention of dissenting. Hwan, looking around her wildly at all those around her and seeing faces she knows from living so long in the palace as well as the faces of the Sanzo-ikkou, is not condemned by their looks but not absolved either. Absolution they seem to be leaving up to her.

Understanding that they have given her leave and consider her far from a threat, Hwan scrambles to her feet and rushes to the doorway, stopping just inside it to look back, as if expecting a cowardly blow to strike her as she flees. No one seems to be paying her much interest, however, and for that she is just as relieved as she is angry at her own unimportance. She is soon forgotten when her form disappears down the hall and soon leaves the palace behind entirely.

"Sanzo."

"Mm?" the priests says, questioningly, though now that the castle is cleared and all those needing to be fed are properly satisfied, he is fairly certain he already knows what Kougaiji is about to say.

"My mother." Says the prince. "It is late, and I know all of us are tired, but I will not wait another moment. You will help me?"

Sanzo instantly feels the very unfair weight of many eyes trained on him. He has never liked to be the center of attention, never liked to use his abilities as a holy man at all unless the situation calls for it, preferring instead to rely on his own quick wit and sharp-shooting with a gun. But while Sanzo does not care for the eyes on him, he is not one for stage-fright either.

Genjou Sanzo never goes back on his word. And this time he knows he truly does owe the youkai prince everything he promised and more. With a gesture towards the door for Kougaiji to lead on, the largely gathered group is soon traveling through the castle corridors until at last coming to the otherwise empty room where Rasetsunyo is still imprisoned in stasis.

Motioning everyone to stay back, Sanzo places himself centered and just in front of the statue-like youkai queen. He sits, positioning himself as if for prayer or meditation, and places all five of the Heavenly scriptures around him. Even the one usually on his shoulders is folded up and set in place until the sutras have formed the ends of what could easily be a five pointed star with Sanzo in the center. Judging by the type of seal keeping Rasetsunyo dormant, Sanzo believes he would not actually need all five sutras to free her, but there is something else in the air, something added—possibly something more scientific added by Nii—that makes Sanzo use all five anyway. With their combined power almost anything is possible, and he has little doubt that they will be more than enough for him to fulfill his end of the bargain.

Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku, who have heard Sanzo's even, chanting voice most often and know it well, are reminded of a time years ago when they stood in front of a pile of unfortunate rubble while Sanzo said a sutra for Kanan. Sanzo, of course, denies having done such a thing—he doesn't say sutras for the dead. Only for the living. Even back then, the other knew what he really meant, just as they are beginning to understand what Nii meant when he whispered of the sun.

Sanzo said his sutra that long ago day for all of them, not for Kanan. And the sun, something that is far more than just a name for Sanzo…refers to them all and the power within them when they are all together.

Looking around as Sanzo continues to chant and the five sutras glow with their power, Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku have a feeling that the sun is not a stationary symbol. No, they have a feeling that even now the sun is growing, and those that are included in it are part of a family they have been waiting far too long to recover.

Kougaiji gasps when his mother begins to glow as the sutras are glowing and he takes a hesitant step forward when the stone that seems to uncase her starts to crack. Sanzo never once stops chanting but there is a great rumbling as the light grows so strong and brilliant everyone but the monk—whose eyes are closed—is blinded.

When the light fades there is a shudder and Kougaiji has already bounded forward, ready to catch the limp body of his mother when she falls—flesh and bone at last—into his arms. To the prince's pleased surprise, she does not remain unconscious but is immediately awake, blinking up at him and smiling in confused and hazy pleasure.

"Who belongs to this…handsome face?" Rasetsunyo smiles. "It could not be my son. This is too much a man's face to be his."

Tears are quickly welling up in Kougaiji's violet eyes, but even for his mother he manages to keep them held back. He smiles, holding her carefully and close. "It is me, mother. I have been awake longer than you. Not enough to have aged all that much though."

"Ah, but for a mother even a day seems so long without her children. And I feel I must have missed so much if you look so well grown as this."

That is something Kougaiji could certainly not deny, for much has happened, and his mother has indeed missed more than he thinks he could ever explain to her, though he knows he will.

"We were rescued then?" she asks, trying to sit up and clear her head. "I hope you don't think too ill of me for having taken a little joy in our failures. Your father needed to be stopped. I only wish there had been a way to save you from having to suffer in his shadow."

"I'm glad you feel that way." Enters Sanzo's less than sympathetic voice, though he does sound slightly more reverent than he would if he was speaking to a common youkai or an enemy. He has risen, carefully slipped each sutra back inside his robes, and approaches Kougaiji and his mother while maintaining a respectful distance. "Gyumaou is still imprisoned and your son has control of the castle now. If you want to call what I have done a rescue then fine. Go ahead. But I will not hesitate to become your enemy if you ever choose to follow your husband's example."

Kougaiji makes a motion as if to rise but Rasetsunyo holds him firm. She nods her head at Sanzo, recognizing the robes though they are slightly altered from what she remembers in her time. "A human monk with purpose and principle. I appreciate that and your concern, but I have no intention of ever following my husband. I have to admit surprise, though, that someone like yourself would help at all. You are surrounded by youkai, here in a castle that housed the most villainous of all, a man wanting to wipe out all humans. As far as you know all of those in this castle may have felt the same way and yet you have helped us. Why?"

"Not purely out of good intentions." Sanzo huffs. "I had a deal with your son. That is all. And…let's just say, having encountered him many times before this day, it was always clear there was more to him than the blood of his father." Sanzo almost smiles at this comment, but keeps it subtle, revealing nothing but respect, not fondness. He wouldn't want to take things too far after all.

Rasetsunyo returns the smile, and Kougaiji, though more stunned, does as well. The youkai prince helps his mother to her feet then and when she is assuredly steady, she at last looks past Sanzo and sees the others who are gathered, none of whom she knows. Two young men she assumes to be youkai from the presence of their limiters, a handsome half-breed, two un-limited youkai adults, one man and one woman, and…as she looks more closely at the monk before her, she sees a bit of orange hair and the tip of a youkai ear peeking from around his robes. Another youkai. A child. A…girl.

As soon as the girl's eyes appear from around Sanzo, and Rasetsunyo sees how like her son's they are, she knows who she is looking at. It is the main wife's job to know all that goes on with concubines. Much as she disapproved, she knew of Gyokumen and she also knew of this young girl, though the redhead is older than Rasetsunyo last saw her and she imagines that dear little Lirin does not remember ever having seen the queen.

She knows then to be careful in how she addresses the child. "Why…and who is this young creature I see, peeking around those white robes?" she says with a warm smile.

Sanzo is not entirely happy being treated like a mother with comforting skirts to cling to, but he does not push Lirin away. He does, however, take hold of her and lead her in front of him rather than behind since she seems so timid.

"It's all right, child, I don't generally bite. I have a feeling you are not so lucky us to have the same privilege as my son though. Your mother shared more of my husband's ideals and therefore…I assume she is no longer…well."

Kougaiji is continuously impressed by his mother, especially in the overly tactful way she is addressing Lirin. He knows that his mother is aware of Lirin's identity, though he has never seen them interact and Lirin was too young to remember passing the queen in the corridors. Kougaiji has never doubted that his mother would look kindly on his sister for she often expressed regret that the young girl had to grow up so unloved.

Still seeming quite timid, Lirin approaches Rasetsunyo slowly, passing many glances at her brother, who is smiling with perfect confidence.

Rasetsunyo takes the final steps forward that will meet Lirin halfway, kneels and places a clawed but very gentle hand on the girl's head. "A true mother's love knows no boundaries. Not even blood." She says. "Kougaiji has loved you all these years so dearly. Who am I to disagree with such an easy decision?"

All those looking on have an instant liking for Rasetsunyo, even if they hadn't felt so from the moment she awoke. This feeling only grows when Lirin's timidity falls away and she dives into Rasetsunyo's arms, perhaps for the first time feeling what a motherly embrace really should be like.

"Now, I must admit…I don't believe I recognize any of these other faces." The youkai queen adds, looking kindly over Lirin's shoulder to take in the others still hanging back.

As a good son should, Kougaiji steps forward then and introduces them all. His friends. All of them. Explaining briefly—and Rasentsunyo does not question anything that is clearly left out on purpose—who each person is and why some have limiters neatly in place. The rest of the story is going to take a little longer than introductions but Rasetsunyo says she is more than willing to hear all about it.

-----

It has been decided that the Sanzo-ikkou will stay the night but that by Sanzo's decree they will set out the next morning to return east. The sutras need to be returned to the Sanbutsushin and the ikkou does have their own lives to return to. They have of course assured Kougaiji and his group that they will be more than willing to visit and be visited, just so long as dragons pick them up if they are expected at Houtou Castle.

Four separate rooms have been granted the Sanzo-ikkou, and though there is some milling about yet even at such a late hour, most people in the castle have retired or are about to. Sanzo is the first to return to the common room that connects the four bedrooms for him and his friends. Just as he is heading for his own promising and hopefully soft bed, however, he hears a familiar voice that stops him.

"Wow, even the leftovers here are good."

Sanzo sighs. He tries not to smile. He really does. This kind of thing, being interrupted just before escaping to bed, and having to hear Goku's annoying voice and even more annoying chomps at the remaining food in his mouth, should drive him up the wall. He should not find it cute.

Everything really is downhill after you realize you love someone.

"I'm going to bed. Shut up and do the same." The monk barks, continuing to his room without looking back so Goku won't see that he really isn't as irritated as he sounds.

Goku, however, is far too attuned to Sanzo to believe anymore lies. "No goodnight kiss? Or better yet, those beds in there aren't all that small if ya wanna--"

"Unlike someone I know, I actually feel repercussions from battling all night. I'm going to bed. Alone."

"Betcha I can--"

Sanzo spins and takes hold of Goku's wrists before the monkey's arms can slip around his waist as Sanzo anticipated. "No changing my mind tonight, got it? I'm tired. It's not that I don't want to. It's not that seeing you in your youkai form turned me off in any way. So please don't even think of spewing any of that self-hating bullshit at me. I'm just tired. Tired enough to say no and send you to your own room for the night. Okay?" And with a slight push Sanzo releases Goku but has the decency to wait for the monkey's response to all this before continuing to his bedroom.

"Well…okay." Goku consents, and Sanzo can tell by the look in Goku's eyes that the brunette really isn't planning anything further. For once, he is actually listening to reason. "But we're gonna be due for some major victory sex soon, so you better be ready." He adds with a naughty grin.

It takes a lot of will power on Sanzo's part not to laugh. And then he thinks…why not, and laughs a little anyway. "I'll hold you to that…you damn, horny monkey."

Goku has to laugh a little to, and he leans forward for a quick kiss and turns for his own room, which—despite being a ridiculously rechargeable monkey—sounds pretty good to him too.

"Hey."

Stopping just before the door, Goku turns back to see Sanzo hasn't moved. He wonders if maybe the monk has changed his mind and he flashes his most mischievous smile. "Yeah?"

"You never answered my question."

"What question?"

"Back when you first came to, I asked if you remembered everything. All you said was that you were okay, not what you remembered. So…why leave that part out?"

Goku's smile fades, and try as he might he can't quite get it to look real again when he realizes he is letting it fall. "Uhh…what do you mean? I just didn't…hear that part. You were rambling. You said a lot of things. I figured the 'are you okay' part was more important to answer, that's all."

"Then I'll ask it again. Without rambling." A few very slow-paced steps brings Sanzo that much closer to Goku again, and though Sanzo is not angry or really upset, he keeps his face like stone, wanting to get a clear answer from Goku no matter how much he wants to be supportive. "What do you remember? Everything? Everything he did?"

"Pretty much, I gue--"

"And what about more than that?"

Goku starts. He forgets how perceptive Sanzo can be sometimes. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Goku." Sanzo says, bordering on sounding as sharp as he used to. "Seiten Taisei knows Konzen. He remembers all of the things you can't. Now, if you can remember being Seiten Taisei…" Sanzo doesn't finish, knowing his pointed silence is enough to let Goku know that the monkey is expected to fill in the blanks.

Goku's eyes widen. He's filled them in. He just hadn't expected Sanzo would fill them in this soon too.

"I'll see you in the morning."

As far as being surprised by the monk, Goku must be winning some kind of contest tonight. After all of that, Sanzo is just turning around again, heading for his room. He isn't pressing. He isn't even waiting to hear Goku fumble for excuses or an explanation. It isn't that Goku doesn't want to tell Sanzo everything. It's just…complicated. "Sanzo…"

The monk stops, his hand on the door, ready to push it open.

"Goodnight."

A smile creeps into Sanzo's expression again. He knows eventually he will find out everything he wants. He learned patience a long time ago. "Goodnight, Goku."

-----

In another part of the castle, Gojyo and Dokugakuji—who now has insisted Gojyo go ahead and call him Jien, since the kappa always fumbles with it anyway—are having yet another round of drinks while talking and laughing over every shared and separate memory they can think of. Little by little, even a bit intoxicated, they are filling each other in on the past fifteen years, and finding it isn't really all that hard to feel like brothers again.

Jien has said many times how frustrating it was while under Nii's control, wanting to tell Gojyo it was a trap, wanting to say and do so many things, but not being able to without feeling like he was betraying his little brother in the worst way. He has also mentioned so many times Gojyo is getting sick of hearing it that if he could go back he would never have left a little kid all on his own like he did. Since Gojyo was never looking for an apology, he has found it all too easy to forgive.

Meaning to pull Gojyo away from the encounter, reluctantly yes, but also for the kappa's own good, Hakkai is coming upon the door to the little liquor room the two have secluded themselves in. He can hear the laughter of the brothers and it makes him smile. He had left them alone partially because he knew they needed the time together, but also to finally go out and retrieve Hakuryuu, who was so worried and upset that he nearly mauled Hakkai's face when the monocled-man finally came into view. Hakkai has promised a retelling of the entire tale, including many treats and neck rubs to make up for taking so long to bring the dragon inside the castle.

"Hakkai-san?"

Hakkai pauses with his hand poised to knock, turning to see that Yaone has stumbled upon him, looking rather tired and sweetly dressed for bed in a very simple nightgown with her hair down. "Ah, Miss Yaone. You haven't retired yet? I was about to myself but I thought it best if I broke up the pair in here. If I don't, Gojyo will not be happy in the morning." He adds with a small laugh.

Yaone politely giggles at the comment. "They have been enjoying themselves for quite some time. That's probably a good idea."

"Yes, most definitely." Hakkai says. He allows his eyes to wander over Yaone's form and though he kicks himself a little for being pleased by the sight, an attractive body is still an attractive body, he reminds himself and he cannot help voicing another comment. "Forgive me for saying this if it is in any way inappropriate, but…you look rather lovely with your hair down."

Another giggle leaves Yaone, though this time it is littered with chaste shyness. "Well then…forgive me also, but I must say…you look rather lovely with yours down too."

It takes Hakkai a moment to realize what Yaone means, but when he understands he finds himself laughing a little shyly this time as well. "Ah. Perhaps I should grow my hair out. Gojyo said the same thing."

"Everything about you as a youkai was…quite handsome." Yaone goes on. "I almost forgot myself. Oh. I think I must be forgetting myself again for saying such things."

"Not at all. The compliment is most appreciated. I have trouble seeing much good in that side of me, so…I…I thank you."

Yaone loses her shyness long enough to offer a more confident smile, and she says, "Perhaps someday you will no longer feel a need to wear your limiters at all."

"One can only wonder." Hakkai replies, a little put off by that idea, but perhaps more put off by actually wondering along those same lines himself. He decides it might be safer to change the subject. "So, were you off to bed yourself then?"

"Ano…well…I…" Yaone's blush makes it quite clear to Hakkai what must be more prominent on the young woman's mind right now.

"Thinking of paying Kougaiji a visit first?" he offers.

Yaone's blush deepens. "I have no unseemly intentions." She says quickly, glancing down at her attire and blushing a little harder because of it. "Not _intentionally_ unseemly intentions. I just…I don't know really. I don't think I could sleep if I didn't say something to him. Is it selfish of me?"

"Not at all." Hakkai says, gently taking hold of Yaone's hand and squeezing it in support. The fact that she blushes even harder from the contact only makes Hakkai smile at her more brightly. "I think the term 'you deserve each other' has never been more fitting. Not that I mean to push you in any unseemly directions, though I'm sure if you were speaking to Gojyo instead of me talk of celebratory sex would be more likely a suggestion." Upon Yaone's very shy giggle, Hakkai feels a little devious for having said such a thing at all and wonders if Gojyo is rubbing off on him. "_I_ won't suggest that, of course." He mends. "But I do suggest continuing on your way. It is well overdue that you two spoke."

"Indeed. I must say, it is nice to know a mother's intuition remains intact even after being sealed away for 500 years."

Hakkai and Yaone both jump, startled at this unexpected voice. From out of the shadows of the hallways steps the smiling figure of Rasetsunyo, enjoying a late night stroll around the castle to better acquaint herself with how it has changed. Or so she might claim.

"I had thought I caught a few wayward glances passing between you and my son."

"Oh." Yaone's blush has fully captured her face now and is swiftly descending down her neck and shoulders. "How inappropriate of us to speak of such things so openly. Forgive me, my lady, I would never presume to be worthy of--"

"Please, my dear, you are groveling to the wrong woman." Rasetsunyo laughs, catching Hakkai's smiling eyes and winking. Only Yaone seems oblivious to how things are working out more in her favor. "My son speaks of nothing of you but the greatest devotion, caring, and loyalty. Add to that your sweetness and your beauty and I highly think there is any question of worthiness. Love is all that matters. And I have a feeling that is already taken care of as well."

A blush is nothing compared to the stunned expression on Yaone's face now. The last thing she ever expected was for this to be easy.

"Come, I was heading towards my son's room anyway to say my goodnights. Why don't you accompany me? And don't worry, I'll be sure and make myself scarce as swiftly as possible." While saying all this, Rasetsunyo takes hold of Yaone's arm and begins to lead her away down the hall before the younger woman can protest.

Hakkai watches the retreating pair with a very pleased smile, winking with a little deviousness again when Yaone looks back at him worriedly. He is more than certain that Rasetsunyo can handle things from here. "I think I rather like that woman." He mentions to the often forgotten dragon who has once again found a stable perch on his shoulder. "I think she might actually understand how to knock some sense into these people."

Hakuryuu 'kyuus' in agreement.

The fun part now is that Hakkai still needs to manage to pry Gojyo and Jien away from the booze, and keep Gojyo's hands to himself long enough for them both get the sleep they need tonight. Celebratory sex will have to wait. Shifting his shoulders with more than a little pain and stiffness and knowing they will probably feel even worse in the morning after the abuse they suffered, Hakkai is confident that no matter how good at sweet-talking him Gojyo might be in the next few minutes, celebratory sex _will_ wait.

-----

"Well, since I think you two have much to talk about, I'm off to bed. Goodnight!"

The door shutting soundly behind Rasetsunyo as she leaves echoes in the room for quite awhile, and understandably so considering how quiet Yaone and Kougaiji are at first. They do not meet gazes, they do not speak. Not for some time. When one of them finally does speak, it is actually both of them starting at once, speaking apologies and rambling so quickly, they don't even notice they are talking over each other until they start laughing at how silly they are being.

Rasetsunyo did not given anything away when she came to Kougaiji's bedroom door with Yaone in tow, but since Kougaiji and Yaone both already know where they stand with each other, it isn't hard to figure out now that they are alone. That doesn't mean it is any easier to face what is right in front of them, however.

"Lord Kougaiji…may I…speak openly."

"You don't have to ask, Yaone. Not you."

That old familiar blush rears its head but Yaone manages to keep it under control long enough to look up into Kougaiji's intense, violet eyes. She has admired these eyes since they first looked at her and freed her from what could have so easily been a horrible fate. She has loved these eyes…for almost as long. "Kougaiji." she says, smiling at how strange it is to simply say his name. "I haven't been entirely…honest with you."

"Neither have I." Kougaiji admits. He too is dressed for bed, wearing loose white pants and an open white shirt to match.

Yaone loves the way the white looks against his dark skin. "I…no longer think of you as only my lord."

"You don't?" he presses, though he is already smiling. As they speak, both find themselves inching closer, and they are so close now that it would take barely a breath to meet their lips. Kougaiji is sorely tempted to take that daring breath before Yaone can finish speaking.

"My feelings are…much stronger than…that." Yaone finishes, and to Kougaiji's pleased surprise, she takes that breath before he can and claims a kiss, a kiss he is more than happy to return as he wraps once tentative arms around her thin waist and pulls her close.

Outside the room, with their extra-perceptive youkai ears pressed to the door, Rasetsunyo and Lirin giggle very softly to themselves. Rasetsunyo offers a naughty wink, but takes Lirin's arm gently and begins to lead the young girl away. They do not have to see the kiss on the other side of the door to know it is happening, but they also do not need to continue their eaves-dropping in case that kiss turns into something else.

The castle is quiet now, with almost everyone asleep or at least inside their own rooms. Rasetsunyo and Lirin continue through the hallways to the queen's room where Lirin has asked to stay while the two of them get to know each other better. Both are fairly certain they couldn't be happier with the relationship already so easily developing.

Rasetsunyo always wanted a daughter. Now, it seems, she might soon have two. And Lirin always wanted a mother. A real mother. One that wouldn't trade her for anything.

"Ra-mama?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I'm so glad you're awake."

"Me too, dear."

"With your help Nii-chan and Yaone finally get it. And I can tell ya…it's about damn time."

The last few steps to the queen's chambers are filled with laughter, and it does not die down when they pass through the doors but carries on well into the night.

-----

"I suppose there's no way to stop you?"

"When Sanzo calls, we follow, I'm afraid." Hakkai answers on behalf of the group, helping the others pack up the jeep for their long trip home. Sanzo chooses not to respond to the veiled barb. "If you need us, or feel any need to come for a visit, don't hesitate to call."

Kougaiji, Yaone at his side and Rasetsunyo and Lirin close by as well, gives an understanding though sad nod of his head. They have barely had time to be friends, though none of them will ever think of the two groups as anything but the closest of companions from now on. "I understand. It has been…interesting. But an honor. I can't thank any of you enough."

"No sweat, Kou." Goku exclaims with a broad grin, tossing the last of his assigned packing into the back of the jeep and rushing over to stand before Kougaiji. "It was way cool. That last blow—POW—you and me. The way it should be. Much better than fighting each other, huh?"

Though he tries to maintain a more professional manner, Kougaiji finds Goku's childish jubilance refreshing. "Much better, Goku." He says, extending a hand towards the grinning heretic, though to be honest he isn't all that surprised when his offered hand is taken and tugged to bring him and Goku into a tight embrace. He had blanched at the contact once before, but lets himself enjoy it this time.

Sanzo remains back by the jeep, not one for sentiments and certainly not one for hugs.

Hakkai steps up to Yaone while Goku is busy squeezing the life out of Kougaiji and gives her a simple kiss on the cheek to show his gratitude and his regret at their hasty departure. Yaone does not blush too deeply this time, but returns the gesture, kissing Hakkai's cheek as well.

Gojyo, a little off to the side with his brother, debates a brotherly handshake for about two second before allowing a brotherly hug. He may be combating a pretty nasty hangover, but he doesn't mind all that much, considering what he feels he gained from the time spent last night.

"Now…as soon as things are settled here and we're back home…you're coming to stay for awhile, right?" Gojyo asks, giving his brother an extra squeeze before letting go.

A crooked smile hangs on Jien lips when they pull apart. "Long as I'm not disturbing anything." He says, accentuating his teasing with a punch to Gojyo's shoulder and glance over at Hakkai.

"Yeah, yeah." Gojyo grumbles.

"Come on already! Let's go!" Sanzo calls, having no such needs for this shit like the others do. He just wants to get going, even if he does have a certain fondness for Kougaiji and the others. It would take quite a bit for him to admit to that, of course.

The others grudgingly comply, slowly making their way towards the jeep with a few final goodbyes shouted out behind them.

Before anyone has even managed to climb into the jeep, however, Rasetsunyo's voice calls after them.

"Explain to me why, exactly, you're taking this lovely jeep instead of our dragons. Wouldn't that be faster?"

Hakuryuu gives a slightly offended 'kyuu' but the four men heading for their seats stop in their tracks and look back. They honestly hadn't even considered traveling back any other way.

"We could certainly lend some to you. They know how to find their way back on their own, so there's no problem with returning them."

Rasetsunyo wonders if her words are sailing over the Sanzo-ikkou's heads, they are staring so dumbly at her, but before she has to go so far as to wave a hand in front of their struck faces, they finally snap out of it. "Well…though it may offend Hakuryuu somewhat, if you wouldn't mind we would be very grateful of the help." Hakkai says, knowing it isn't even necessary to look at his companions for agreement. All of them would love to get home that much faster if there is a way to do so.

"Then it's settled, hmm? We can lend some, can't we, dear?" the youkai woman adds, turning to her son with a smile.

Having no reason to dissent, Kougaiji nods, wondering why he had never thought of this solution himself. "Of course. We can just--"

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, boys."

Unexpected matronly voices should be pretty common at this point, but this particular voice has Sanzo—and a good many others—rather irritated with the commonality. "What the hell do you want?" Sanzo snarls. He has a sudden vision of his dreams of a short trip home being squashed, and seeing as how Kanzeon Bosatsu, the Goddess of Mercy herself, is standing before them as if out of thin air, he has a pretty good idea where that vision is coming from.

Kanzeon, impervious to the many angry and some just purely fascinated looks being sent her way, places a hand on her hip as she swivels towards Sanzo and the others, gleaming in her practically see-through white garments. "A quick trip isn't part of the assignment."

"What assignment? I did what you asked." Sanzo says, stomping towards her without reservation or fear. "I took those three idiots on the road, discovered what was causing the problems in Shangri La, stopped it, stopped the resurrection, retrieved the sutras, and--"

"Gained yourself a sex life." Kanzeon finishes with a very pleased smirk. "I know."

It takes all of Sanzo's fizzling self-control not to deck the bitch. "_You_…"

"But I also needed you to contain the situation, right? Well, while the demons are back to their gloriously friendly selves, tensions between humans and youkai are not going to be easily eradicated. No, that's going to take some work, and I need you four to go all the way back East, one village at a time, making sure paradise finds itself again. Okay? People can be pretty foolish, youkai and human alike, and they're all going to need a little help. Got that…_boys_?"

There is silence while Sanzo is snarling, the other three in his party standing a little dumbstruck, and Kougaiji and his crew wondering who in the hell this strange woman is. Her shakra gives her away as a god, and that alone is enough to make them think twice before speaking against her and making any sudden moves.

Sanzo is not so tentative when it comes to the not so merciful, Merciful Goddess, however.

"You old hag!" he yells, ripping the sutras from his shoulders with an anger he seems to have been reserving just for this moment and chucking them at Kanzeon's head. Her quick reflexes catch it and she smiles smugly, but Sanzo isn't finished. He takes every last one of the sutras out of his robes and tosses all of them at her feet, not even pausing his actions when the sutra in his hand is the one he had spent so many years seeking. "Take them! I don't want them! If things like this can happen, then they should never have been on earth in the first place. Take them up to heaven with you and keep them there. I quit."

Even his dumbstruck companions are awake now. "What?" Goku says, dumbstruck in a whole new way. He never expected to hear words like this come out of Sanzo. The mess with Kami-sama had been one thing, but Sanzo has always come out of every situation with his robes and sutra in tact, proud to take on the responsibilities his master left him.

"You heard me!" Sanzo yells again. "I don't need this anymore. Koumyou wanted me to find happiness? I got that without these." He says, tugging at his robes almost in disgust. "I won't do your job for you anymore. I won't tarnish what Koumyou was by being your lackey. All I want is to go home, make a new home, a better home, and you can go fuck yourself if you think I'm bringing those damn things back with me by _jeep_ just to clean up a mess you could have cleaned up yourself."

Kanzeon doesn't even flinch. "Weren't you going to do that anyway, before the option of dragons came into the picture?"

Sanzo just huffs. "It's the principle, hag. I'm not doing it."

Again there is silence. No one knows what to say. If Sanzo won't be Sanzo anymore…what is he? And if the gods plan to keep the Sanzo-ikkou from using dragons, how else will they get back east if Sanzo won't use Hakuryuu?

Those with Kougaiji feel a little out of place and very overwhelmed by this eruption from Sanzo. As always, however, Kanzeon does not seem at all ruffled by what has happened. Instead, she turns a curious eye on the packed jeep.

"I don't know how you put up with them, Goujun. So ungrateful." A 'kyuu' answers her, but Kanzeon returns her attentions to Sanzo. "I'll tell you what, since you have never once disappointed me, Konzen darling, how about we make a deal."

"What?"

"Oh, it's very simple. Gods shouldn't meddle any more than they have to, but the things humans and demons can do are truly remarkable. I really do need the four of you to continue east the same way you got west. But…if you are so kind as to travel that way, and if you bring the sutras with you, making sure demons and humans are finding peace again…then…I'll release you. Poof. No more Sanzo. Just dear, sweet Koryuu left to live his life as he chooses. I'm sure Koumyou will be fine with that arrangement as long as you are."

Sanzo is no fool. You don't make deals with gods any more than you make deals with devils. But his status as Sanzo is not something he can easily escape, and he knows that. To be released by the Merciful Goddess, no one on earth would be able to say otherwise. He would really be free, and now, now that he has retrieved the sutras and avenged his master, that is truly all he would ask for.

When Kanzeon raises the five heavenly sutras into the air and sends them back over to Sanzo, he does not knock them aside but willingly takes them and places them back inside his robes, putting the Maten Scriptures back on his shoulders. He does not appreciate the smug look on the goddesses face, but knows he this decision will be best for all.

"Wait…does this mean we can't take the dragons?" Goku asks, trailing after Sanzo when the blonde breezes past and gets into the jeep without another word. As is more recently done, Sanzo has climbed into the back and Goku does not press any further before climbing in next to him.

With a nod and a smile, Hakkai follows, and Gojyo, chuckling to himself over the whole thing, gives a little salute to the Merciful Goddess with which he once shared a kiss, and follows in turn after Hakkai.

Kanzeon gives her attention over to the gathered youkai family—for what else can they be called—and catches Rasetsunyo's eyes before excuses herself back up to heaven. The women share a pleased look with another and Kanzeon adds one final thought before departing.

"I would take the scriptures. But even the strongest house falls without its cornerstone. Also," she adds, "Do take care of your kingdom, your highness. We'd really hate a repeat of last time."

A respectful nod from Rasetsunyo is all Kanzeon needs for reassurance before disappearing, leaving only the Sanzo-ikkou, packed up in their jeep and ready to head out.

Hakkai calls out a goodbye, as do Gojyo and Goku, and though Sanzo does not quite offer the same, he is rather hospitable about the whole thing when Lirin suddenly bounds away from the others, hops up over the side of the jeep…and gives him a kiss. Much as he should be horrified, angry, or at least annoyed beyond reason, Sanzo is stunned but eventually reaches out to ruffle Lirin's hair and tells her to keep out of trouble or he'll "Come back and knock some sense into you, you little brat." Lirin doesn't doubt that he means it, and for that she couldn't be happier.

Before long the jeep is heading out, pointed east and with a new mission, one that all of them see the benefits of finishing.

"Towards the _rising_ sun now, is it?"

"Don't get smart with me, Hakkai." Sanzo grumbles from the back, feeling very much like a nap considering he has barely recovered enough after their ordeal and his wrist is still tender. "Just drive and keep quiet for the next few hours."

Hakkai just laughs. "Of course."

Gojyo chuckles too, but seeing as how he feels like recovering from his still slightly raging hangover, he sees the benefits of some peaceful naptime just as much as Sanzo does.

Goku, carrying a few secrets now that he isn't quite sure how to begin sharing with the others, even Sanzo, decides he might as well nap too. Snuggling in close against his lover, he lays his head on Sanzo's chest, knowing he won't be pushed away or even chided. Not anymore. Sanzo already has his eyes closed and wouldn't be much up for arguing anyway.

Before surrendering into sleep, Goku decides to be just the smallest bit devious. He tilts his lips up beside Sanzo's ear and breathes very heavily before whispering, "So…does this mean I get to call you Kory now?"

"Don't push it, monkey." Sanzo replies.

Goku figures he probably will keep pushing for quite some time anyway, but at least he knows—especially when thinking of Kougaiji and everyone, and when he peeks up front to see Gojyo snuggling in beside Hakkai for a nap of his own—that things are going to stay pretty damn interesting for quite some time even if they are never easy.

And that's okay, because after all, who would ever want easy?

THE END

A/N: OMG! It's...over? Well, not quite. Please stay tuned for the "Obligatory Sex Epilogue." I.E. Victory Sex! Oh, yes, I couldn't leave you without some nice guy on guy action, and hooboy do I have a romp in store for our boys. Also, just to see what you all think, my roommate has requested a third part to this series that I could easily write if I wanted. The trip home. There is much still to deal with, after all. What do you think? I'm not sure I will since I have alot of original stuff to work on now, but I'll see what kind of response I get.

I'll wait for the heartfelt goodbye until after the epiligue. For now, thank you for everything thus far. This fic wouldn't exist, or its predicessor, without you. You guys are truly the best. See you soon.

Crim


	26. Obligatory Sex Epilogue

Obligatory Sex Epilogue

* * *

The Sanzo-ikkou had not been on the road for more than a few hours—six actually, which is a few when one considers how long some of their daily excursions could be—before coming upon a town that they deemed suitable for spending the night. It was earlier than times they had stopped in the past, but there was no longer any set limit on when they reached their destination, and the anxiety of their journey was finally a thing of the past. They could relax and they had every intention of doing so.

Unfortunately, since they have decided to stop and have no desires to continue on the road any more tonight, their choice of lodging has been limited to what the town has to offer. This is a town they did not stop in while traveling West, of course, since they had been picked up by dragon long before reaching Houtou Castle, but it is similar to the last place along the road they had been. They are now in a small cottage, individual for them and their privacy. The only problem with this is that unlike their last place this one has a kitchen, a bathroom, and a _single_ sleeping room with two large beds. Being the only thing the inn had available, they could not protest, and seeing as how tired they all are, no one has yet thought to voice any concerns over the matter. It isn't as though they haven't shared a room before, and these days they don't have too many problems with having to share beds.

While Sanzo and Goku are in town gathering the few supplies they were not able to acquire inside the castle before departing, Gojyo is having a smoke outside—as Hakkai and Goku have requested since neither Sanzo nor Gojyo smoke as much as they used to—and Hakkai is diligently cooking dinner. Hakkai has made no mention to his companions regarding his injured shoulders. They are of no real concern, Hakkai knows that, they merely ache to a rather high degree and although Hakkai is usually a fast healer the strain on them had been quite out of the ordinary.

Even mixing the rice and lifting plates when he set the table had proven painful. It is a nuisance more than anything, and Hakkai dearly hopes his shoulders will recover before—

"Damn it." The healer curses, feeling a violent tremor move through his right shoulder as he reaches for one of the plates in a nearby cupboard. He almost drops the plate to the floor where it surely would have shattered if he hadn't gotten control of himself. Carefully, he sets the plate down on the counter, taking a small moment to rub one shoulder and then the other, knowing his own hands aren't nearly enough to drive away any of the stiffness. It almost hurts as much trying to massage them because even that takes some effort from the shoulder helping the other. Hakkai shakes his head. This really is unfair.

"Still makes me a little speechless when you swear." Comes Gojyo's voice from the open doorway. Hakkai turns and sees the kappa, not having noticed Gojyo had started to come back inside. Gojyo just grins. "How big of an idiot am I? You nearly had your arms ripped off last night and still you're the one cooking dinner. Shit. Sit your ass down, huh, and quit making me look so bad."

A common smile slips into Hakkai's initially shocked expression at being caught. Since he expected this behavior from Gojyo and hoped to avoid it—_he_ is supposed to be the one taking care of everyone else, after all—Hakkai really hates that Gojyo knows his little secret. His expression, as always, does not give away his discomfort but simply shines. "Now, now, no need for all that, Gojyo. I'm fine." He says, stirring the rice on the stove and flashing a smile, while trying very hard not to wince at how much even the smallest action hurts.

"Sure ya are." Gojyo scoffs. "Come on, do I look stupid to you? Don't answer that." He adds quickly, his smile turning crooked. "And listen to me, okay? Sit down and let me finish dinner."

"Really, Gojyo, there's no need."

The redhead has entered the kitchen now and walks up to Hakkai quickly, standing next to the stove and looking more than ready to push Hakkai out of the way.

Hakkai does not budge. "Gojyo, please. It's nothing. All of us are sore, and if I let _you_ cook…I shudder to think which of us will drop dead first." The comment may seem harsh but it is a well-known fact that Gojyo has no talent for cooking. Baking, though, he is surprisingly gifted, but cooking…the mere thought upsets Hakkai's stomach.

As is expected, Gojyo makes no reaction to being called on his lack of culinary ability, but he remains immovable next to the stove. "Hakkai," he says, "I will remove you by force if I have to. Killing yourself for our sake's is not heroic or even as sweet as it seems on the surface. It's just stupid. You've been driving for hours. Your shoulders must be ready to fall out of their sockets on their own at this point. Just sit down."

Furrowing his brow with his slowly bruising ego, Hakkai shakes his head and turns off the burner for the rice. "Gojyo, for goodness' sake, there is no reason to—ah!" While trying to move the pot with the rice over to a cool burner, an unexpected pain shot through his shoulder again, this time causing Hakkai to lose his grip. Unable to do anything to stop it, Hakkai looks down shamefully at the mess of rice now spilled over the floor, the pot overturned and still clattering. This tell-tale sign of his fatigue and current state of pain keeps Hakkai's eyes trained on the rice. He feels very foolish right now for being so stubborn. "Gojyo…"

"Your shoulders are killing you and you'd really appreciate the help, right?" Gojyo says with a grin, taking Hakkai's hand, stepping over the spilled rice, and leading the healer over to the kitchen table. "What would you do without me, Kai? I certainly don't know what I'd do without you." He says, sitting Hakkai down, giving his shoulder a very gentle, momentary rub, and then bending to kiss the brunette on the cheek. "So quit being in such a hurry to kill yourself. I like you healthy. All kinds of healthy." He adds with a wink. Gojyo then begins to clean up the ruined rice and start a new batch, knowing at least how to do that much.

"Gojyo…"

"You can give me directions. I can't mess it up if the master is telling me everything to do, right?"

Hakkai feels the beginning of a real smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. It really does amaze him sometimes how easy it is for Gojyo to get him feeling all right about everything again. "I suppose that would be okay." The healer consents.

"Oh, and after dinner I'm giving you a long, deep massage. _And_ if you're still hurting this bad tomorrow, I'm driving."

A chuckle escapes Hakkai's lips and he sits back, making himself comfortable while watching Gojyo move about the kitchen. "I concede, Gojyo. You're a hard man to say no to."

Gojyo chuckles a little then too. "Glad you feel that way. Keep it in mind, will ya?" Really, the kappa's devious smirk does not go unnoticed, and as pained as Hakkai is, he doesn't think he minds Gojyo's implications as much as he might have the night before.

"We're all gonna die!"

Hakkai and Gojyo both jerk their heads to the doorway where Sanzo and Goku are standing, each carrying a few bags, though Goku with notably more of them. Sanzo looks unconcerned but Goku is wearing a look of complete horror while his eyes are glued to Gojyo at the stove.

Hakkai chuckles again, unable to stifle the sound as it erupts out of him and soon becomes all out laughter.

Gojyo scowls, pointing the spoon he had been stirring with in Goku's direction with a menacing gesture. "Shove it, monkey. I'm giving Hakkai a break. And you're gonna eat whatever the hell I put in front of you so you better be nice to me or I might put my own ingredients in your half, got me?"

At first Goku looks somewhere between confused and terrified. He looks to Hakkai for some sort of moral support, and although the healer is still chuckling a little, support eventually comes between tenor-pitched laughs. "Gojyo will be following my every command, so there's no need to look scandalized, Goku. Contrary to popular opinion, he can take direction quite well."

Goku looks instantly relieved but then suddenly wrinkles his nose. "Ew. More information than I needed, Hakkai." The boy says and then promptly enters the kitchen, sets down his bags, ducks to avoid being smacked by Gojyo, and hurries off into the rest of the cottage.

There is a moment where Hakkai sits, unsure how to take Goku's reaction, before a blush spreads swiftly across his cheeks and the sound of Gojyo's laughter is soon filling the kitchen instead of the brunette's.

Sanzo, moving to deposit his own bags and follow after his monkey, rolls his eyes and decides not to comment anymore than grumbling out an irritated, "Idiots," before departing.

Nevertheless, dinner carries on rather well. Gojyo really can take direction, and Goku's only complaint was that the kappa had used too much salt on the spring rolls. Gojyo doubted the monkey could even tell the difference but figured Goku was just looking for something to complain about to make himself feel better about liking Gojyo's cooking. It was a first, after all, where the group was eating food made by Gojyo and not rushing for the bathroom soon after.

Despite dinner being fairly decent, Gojyo has excused himself and Hakkai from the table, leaving the boy and Sanzo in the kitchen before the monkey could even go back for fourths. Gojyo wants to make good on his offer to give Hakkai's shoulders a decent rub and already has the healer stripped from the waist-up and sprawled face-down on their bed.

Before beginning his ministrations, Gojyo stands for a moment beside the bed, looking down at Hakkai's relatively smooth back with its sore but very pleasing-to-the-eye muscles. Hakkai's back rises and falls slowly, the healer comfortable, relaxed, and waiting for him. The sight is a little more enticing than Gojyo would like to admit with the monk and monkey not all that far away, but with all the pent-up energy raging through the kappa's veins, he isn't entirely sure he cares.

Gojyo allows his brain to think clearly for maybe three seconds before slipping his tank-top over his head and tossing it to the floor beside Hakkai's black shirt.

As Gojyo climbs onto the bed and begins to very slowly and gently work on Hakkai's left shoulders, the healer, having heard the sound of rustling cloth, is aware of Gojyo's sudden lack of clothing. "Gojyo…" he says, only slightly concerned with the current situation. "Why did you take off your shirt? You're the masseuse; you don't need to remove any clothing."

"It's easier to move this way." Gojyo replies, not missing a beat, or a rub.

"Yes, well…" Hakkai's mind is already fogging over. He has exchanged backrubs with Gojyo on several occasions over the years, but not since their relationship's dynamic changed. There is an added electricity that flows through Gojyo's fingertips and the motions of the tan hands Hakkai can feel but cannot see make his lower stomach quiver deliciously. Hakkai understands the dangers in that, however, and thinks perhaps he should ask Gojyo to desist. "Be that as it may, Gojyo, I think—uhh…" a moan rips from Hakkai's throat before he can stop it, cutting off his words. Much as the pressure on his shoulders had hurt at first, Gojyo's expert touch digs so deep, perfectly applied and positioned, that Hakkai's mind wipes blank. What had he been about to say…?

Gojyo grins evilly, feeling perfectly safe in doing so since Hakkai has his face pressed into the mattress and is definitely not about to move. Much as he knows Hakkai must be enjoying this, Gojyo is enjoying it to. Moving his hands slowly and deeply into the muscles of Hakkai's back, rubbing over the soft, pale skin, and hearing the beginning of held-back moans spill from his lover's throat, has the kappa's libido doing a double-take. Gods, he wants the man beneath him, right now, but he didn't think to lock the bedroom door and really doesn't want to get up right now to do it.

A few more moans leave Hakkai and Gojyo suddenly forgets all sensible thought. Swinging a leg over to the other side of Hakkai's body, Gojyo straddles the healer now, sitting up on his friend's hips and continue the tender assault with his hands. He almost expects some sort of questioning or protesting to come up concerning this change in position, but Hakkai merely keeps on moaning, taking slow, deep breaths.

Gojyo is well aware that before long he is going to start getting hard if Hakkai keeps making those noises, and with them positioned as they are, it is more than certain the brunette would be able to tell that no, that isn't Sanzo's gone in his pocket. This is just so much fun though, and Gojyo doesn't want to stop getting Hakkai to make those sounds. Besides, he knows he is doing the healer good.

Healing the healer. It's a noble effort. Very noble. Gojyo is considerably horny and getting hornier with each new sound that escapes Hakkai's throat, but he sees no problem whatsoever with being nobly horny. In fact, being nobly horny is probably such a rare occurrence he should be praised for his ability to be selfless and hot and bothered at the same time. It's very difficult, after all. But Gojyo isn't stupid. If they continue much further like this, eventually something is going to have to give.

"That better not be what it looks like."

The gods really can be exceptionally cruel sometimes. "Not at all, Sanzo-sama." Gojyo says with a forced smile, sitting up a little straighter and trying to look as decent as possible while straddling his lover. "Hakkai's shoulders are killing him after what that bastard did to him last night. Remember, arms nearly ripped off before your expert shooting came into play? I'm just offering some helping hands."

Entering fully and beginning to remove his robes as if the monk plans to make it an early evening, Sanzo turns away from the pair in disgust. "If it even looks like those helping hands are moving anywhere I don't want to see them, I plan to keep my gun under my pillow tonight. Just for you." He adds, tossing out a smirk that looks just as threatening as it means to.

Gojyo realizes then that Sanzo is indeed readying himself for sleep. It is later than normal for after dinner, and considering how tired all of them still are it isn't unheard of for the monk to want such a thing. That doesn't make the reality of the situation any less frustrating for Gojyo, however. "What are you, an old man? You're not going to bed already." Gojyo teases, hoping his comments will have the added effect and get the monk to head into the kitchen for a few drinks or something. Anything so that Gojyo and Hakkai can have the room to themselves for just a little bit longer.

"Nice try, cockroach, but yes I am." Sanzo shoots back, laying his now discarded robes over the lone chair in the room and kicking off his boots. He makes a point of taking out his gun and keeping his eye on Gojyo the entire time while he places underneath his pillow.

Gojyo grits his teeth, trying not to allow his frustrations to come out in his massaging. He wants to help Hakkai, not hurt him, but he also wants to get his rocks off and Sanzo is not helping. Hakkai, enamored within Gojyo's touch, doesn't seem to care about nor really notice Sanzo's presence, though his moans have decreased in quantity and volume quite noticeably.

Damn it.

"So you left your monkey all by his lonesome?" Gojyo tries. "That really a good idea?"

"All done! Man, Gojyo, you're not bad when Hakkai tells you how to make things. Sorry I thought you'd suck."

Damn it again. Now the monkey is in here too. This really isn't Gojyo's night. He had been planning ulterior motives from the second he offered this backrub. Why the hell do these two have to ruin it?

The real insult to injury is that Hakkai still doesn't seem to care that he and Gojyo are no longer alone, besides having silenced nearly all of his moans now. It really is unfair, and try as Gojyo might, he cannot think of anything to say or do that might get rid of the monk and monkey long enough for what he has planned. Now that Goku is changing for bed too, the cause really does seem lost. Why did this one bedroom, piece of shit cottage have to be the only place available?

"Whoa…that looks like one helluva backrub." Goku snickers, raising an eyebrow at Gojyo's chosen position. The exclamation has come mainly because Hakkai let loose a moan the healer must not have been able to hold back, much as his decency probably wanted to. "Hmmm…" Goku looks from Gojyo's scowl over to Sanzo, who is already lying on his back on the bed, settling in for sleep whether the others are ready to shut up and do the same or not. "Hey, Sanzo…you want one too?"

Gojyo almost groans, but then…thinks maybe the monkey is on to something. If Sanzo gets distracted, maybe it won't matter. Gojyo certainly wouldn't care that the other pair is in the room. He just doesn't want to get shot.

Staring up at Goku like he must be at least half out of his mind if not completely, Sanzo's violet eyes narrow dangerously. "Don't look at me like that. You think I can't tell when you're up to something? I don't need a backrub. Now get your ass in bed unless you want to sleep on the floor."

"But Sanzo…" Goku whines, knowing the monk can only withstand so much annoyance before he crumbles. "I know your shoulders are sore. I caught you rubbing them. It feels much better when someone else does it, ya know."

As if to accentuate this claim, another contented moan slips free from Hakkai. Goku and Gojyo meet gazes for a second and in that moment they understand each other perfectly. They almost laugh aloud but know better than to give the game away.

"Please, Sanzo." Goku says, hopping onto the edge of the bed and bouncing a little on his knees as he pleads with his keeper. "I just wanna make you feel better. 'Sides, we don't need to go to bed right this second. Hakkai and Gojyo are still up."

While Goku sounds genuine, Sanzo is skeptical and his eyes drift over to Gojyo and Hakkai on the other bed. Hakkai looks positively blissful, eyes closed and a small smile on his face. Gojyo, amazingly enough, looks entirely professional about the whole thing even while being atop his partner in such a telling position.

Sanzo weighs his options. Gojyo and Hakkai appear to be behaving. Sanzo's shoulders and back really are killing him. Goku will more than likely continue whining until he gets his way anyway…

"Do what you want." The monk says at last, and rolls over onto his stomach, facing away from the other bed so he can more easily pretend they aren't in the room. Though Sanzo has no intention of allowing moans as Hakkai has, he doesn't want that damn kappa looking over and seeing signs of equal bliss on his face. He can only imagine the barbs he'd get over that.

Looking over at Gojyo to ensure their moment of understanding was truly mutual, Goku pauses, waiting for some sort of sign. When Gojyo smiles and even winks in reply, Goku knows they now have an agreement. Besides, it's not as if Goku cares if the others are in the room. All he cares about is Sanzo.

Positioning himself in a mirror-image of Gojyo, Goku is sure it is safe to start right in this way since Sanzo will merely assume he is copying Gojyo for lack of experience. Actually, Goku has a lot of backrub experience. Since he and Gojyo used to room a lot they exchanged backrubs often. Whenever Gojyo started being a little too nice Goku knew the kappa had probably strained a muscle somewhere and wanted Goku's small but powerful hands to help out. If Gojyo had the choice he would always ask Hakkai first out of principle, but many times it was Goku the redhead got stuck with. Goku always asked for a backrub in return, which Gojyo gave for fear of the monkey not giving him one another time, but Goku never really needed one. He liked the touch, and he couldn't deny the pressure felt good, but Goku never got sore muscles the same way others did.

He's rechargeable.

He is, however, very good at knowing where others hurt and all the right ways to make them feel better. Gojyo has even admitted so to him on several occasions though he would probably deny such claims if ever questioned.

Shirt removed now, Sanzo, getting a taste of Goku's adept fingers and strong pressure, is certainly not about to complain and finds himself actually struggling not to moan. He decides he won't give Hakkai a hard time, after all. The healer should be awarded for allowing as few moans as he has, assuming Gojyo is anywhere near as good at this as Goku.

Hakkai is currently so enraptured he almost forgets that Sanzo and Goku are in the other bed. He had been aware of their entrances and the exchange of words that recently took place, but he is much more focused on the feel of Gojyo's hands working out the stiffness in his abused shoulders and…kissing down between his shoulder blades.

"Gojyo…" Hakkai whispers in warning, brought down from cloud nine long enough to know Gojyo is not only starting to kiss him but rolling his hips in a manner so enticing Hakkai imagines he will soon be having a very dire problem and is therefore thankful he is on his stomach. "What are you--?"

"Shhh…" Gojyo hisses, keeping his voice as soft as Hakkai has. He glances over at the other bed to make sure the monk and monkey are occupied and then dips down again to kiss between Hakkai's shoulders, still expertly rubbing with his hands. He kisses again, darting out his tongue to deepen the sensation, and continuing with similar kisses again and again, soon moving to Hakkai's stretched neck.

Hakkai shivers. Gojyo's hands accompanied now by his lips and tongue moving to the sensitive area below his right ear, and also adding the rather steady movements of Gojyo's hips against Hakkai's rear…is…is…Hakkai bites back a very telling moan. His groin stirs and he most definitely has that dire problem now. A small part of his brain thinks of Goku and Sanzo, quiet but unmistakably nearby. This is just too inappropriate.

Meaning to inform Gojyo that this really must stops, Hakkai shakes the kappa off and turns over halfway, straining his neck around to look behind him. He opens his mouth to voice his protests but finds it captured before a single word can leave it. Gojyo's kiss is so insistent, the kappa's tongue so desperate and seeking that Hakkai instantly forgets what he was about to say.

The kiss deepens further and with Gojyo's help Hakkai is turned over completely onto his back. Gojyo repositions himself so that he is now straddling Hakkai's hips from the front. The redhead has stopped his gentle massaging but has a comforting hold on Hakkai's shoulders to keep the healer in place as they kiss, tongues intertwined and breath stolen. Absently, Hakkai can feel one of Gojyo's hands starting to move, sliding down his arm to his chest and then to his hip where it grips Hakkai's cotton pants and begins to slide them down. The connection of their hips keeps the pants from sliding all the way off, but the action reveals the smooth curve of Hakkai's backside and Gojyo runs his hand over the skin there, squeezing the flesh and raking his rounded nails.

Goku feels a shudder rip through him at the sight of his friends so intimately met. He has not seen them kiss this passionately. Not them personally. He has seen them kiss and he has seen Gonou and Gojyo kiss passionately, but this is very different. Especially now that Gojyo has a good grip on Hakkai's bare ass and they are kissing heatedly. The image alone hardens Goku further and the boy cannot believe Sanzo hasn't said anything about it. He assumes his lack of movement might have something to do with Sanzo's obliviousness, but Goku really _wants_ to move. He wants to move so badly, he knows he is pressing a little harder than he should into Sanzo's back.

Deciding action must be taken, Goku gives in and takes the risk, bending down to kiss the back of Sanzo's neck and giving a very small buck with his hips.

Sanzo stiffens. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What?"

"Are you out of your mind? We're in the same damn room. _No_."

Goku huffs. Once again he glances over at Gojyo and Hakkai, still madly kissing and rocking their hips. "They sure don't seem to mind." He says, and promptly leans down to kiss Sanzo's neck again.

The monk rolls over before he can connect and Goku nearly tumbles off the bed with the movement. He regains his balance, pushed off of Sanzo to the side furthest from the other bed, and huffs this time in annoyance at the delay as Sanzo takes a moment to study the others.

A moment later the gun has been removed from under Sanzo's pillow.

Click. "Knock that off right now or I'm shooting you both!" he snarls, not at all liking the sight of his friends lip-locked, hip-locked, and gyrating while half of Hakkai's ass is visible and tightly held by one of Gojyo's greedy hands. "We're in the same fucking room, what the hell is wrong with you two!"

While Gojyo is unperturbed, Hakkai comes to his senses very quickly, pulling his lips from Gojyo only to have the kappa move to his neck, but looking deeply scandalized. The healer wildly reaches down to pull his pants the rest of the way back _up_. "Goodness. I must not be in my right mind. Forgive us, Sanzo."

Gojyo, however, is still ignorant to having a gun cocked and pointed at him.

Hakkai smiles sheepishly down the barrel of Sanzo's gun and pushes at Gojyo for the redhead to stop. "Gojyo…" he says, his smile strained and his breath still bated. "You do realize we have an audience." For some reason the sight of gold eyes looking so strangely hungry is far more disturbing for Hakkai than the violet eyes looking so pissed.

Gojyo glances up for a moment, seeing the gun but no longer fearing it. "Yeah? So?" And he returns to Hakkai's neck, trying to tug back down the healer's pants despite Hakkai's tight grip on them to keep them up.

"Gojyo, please. This is…highly…ina…ina…oh gods…" Hakkai's eyes roll back in his head as Gojyo's tongue laps at the cartilage of his right ear. The wet, feathery action sends a few new messages straight to Hakkai's groin and he gives an unconscious buck upwards.

Sanzo fires a warning shot into the wall behind them.

"Asshole!" Gojyo yells, glaring angrily as he pulls his tongue from its exploration of Hakkai's ear. "Do you mind? You have your own monkey to play master and pet with. Can't you let us have our fun without fearing bullet wounds?"

Sanzo readies his gun for another shot. "I am not staying in the same room with you while you fuck around. Knock it off or I'm shooting you in the head." Sanzo changes his aim slightly so that it is now pointed at the rather unseemly met area of Hakkai and Gojyo's pelvises. "The one you think with most." The monk adds.

While one might think this would be more than enough of a cold shower for everyone involved, Hakkai is still breathing irregularly and Gojyo is still ready to strip down and have his way with the flush brunette beneath him. Goku is also flush, partially due to the state of his friends and because Sanzo, shirtless just like Hakkai and Gojyo, can't seem to avoid looking sexy. Even when he's threatening someone.

Reaching out to pull down Sanzo's arm, Goku uses his superior strength to save Gojyo's treasured groin a gunshot. Sanzo struggles against this action but is soon removed of his gun completely and stares back at Goku in warning.

"We all know you won't really shoot them anyway." Goku says, taking the gun and reaching off the bed to place it on the floor where it is no longer visible.

"You took my gun." Sanzo says, mouth agape, as if such a thing is so surreal it is utterly impossible. "You little brat, give it back! Or the first one I'm shooting is you."

Goku sighs heavily, giving an apologetic glance to Gojyo and Hakkai. "Come on, Sanzo. It's no one's fault we got stuck with one room. I'd say lets just go out to the kitchen, but we deserve _beds_. We deserve a lot of things. It's not fair to tell them they can't have fun." Crawling across the bed and grinning with more than a little mischief, Goku pushes on Sanzo's chest, silently asking the monk to lie back. "We won't even notice what they're doing…long as we distract ourselves."

Even if Goku wasn't leaning down for a kiss, it wouldn't take a written invitation for Sanzo to get the message. "Like hell!" he shouts, pushing hard at Goku to stay away and refusing to lie down. He looks accusingly over at Gojyo and Hakkai only to find the redhead already retuning to his onslaught of Hakkai's ear. "Stop that! No one is having sex in this room!"

"Come on, Sanzo." Goku presses, forcing the monk back now and climbing on top of his keeper to straddle the man much as Gojyo is straddling Hakkai. "I'll make it real good, okay…" he says in a whisper, squeezing his thighs and leaning down to kiss Sanzo soundly.

Sanzo almost bites down on the tongue pushing into his mouth. He pushes up roughly with his arms and causes Goku to tumble off the bed with a thump and cry of surprise. Hakkai and Gojyo are kissing again, completely ignorant to their friends' presence anymore, and Sanzo decides to hell with them. They can fuck if they want. He, however, will not be giving in to his pet's whims. Not after this kind of blow to his pride. Maybe he can't get his friends to keep their hands to themselves, but he can certainly ignore them all and sleep in peace.

They can all rot in hell.

"Wake me and die." Sanzo grumbles, moving over to the far side of the bed and lying down to face the window. Gojyo and Hakkai aren't being terribly loud. He can just tune them out like he tunes Goku out. Sometimes Sanzo forgets, however, that tuning Goku out is nearly impossible.

"But Sanzo! You're not just going to sleep!"

Like hell I _am_, the monk thinks, snuggling into his chosen place of rest and choosing not to respond to the monkey on the floor behind him. Goku can go join the idiots on the other be dif he wants action. Sanzo is not giving in.

"Urg!" Goku balks, standing furiously and climbing back onto the bed. For a moment he considers attacking Sanzo with tickles or kisses or even just mild punches to get the monk's attention back on him, but he thinks better of that idea. After all, the gun is on Sanzo's side of the room even if it is on the floor. It wouldn't be hard for the blonde to reach for it, and Goku has a feeling his lover would not hesitate to shoot. An angry Sanzo is very unpredictable.

No, Goku has to be more diabolical, something he thinks he can pull off as long a he has enough motivation.

Looking at the other bed, Goku takes in an eyeful of the developing scene. Hakkai's pants are half off again, pulled down further this time, nearly to the brunette's knees. The pair is kissing deeply, their met tongues occasionally visible as they struggle for breath within the lip-lock. When Gojyo takes Hakkai's bottom lip into his mouth and sucks on it, applying just the smallest bit of pressure with his teeth, Hakkai's entire body shudders. Their hips are tightly aligned, so much that Goku cannot see the full-frontal he knows Hakkai has revealed. The way the two bodies are curved together is almost more enticing than if Hakkai's nakedness were more visible. The passion with which they are embracing is enough to have Goku tugging at his shirt collar.

Without much thought, Goku whips his shirt off over his head, making things even all across the board now, other than Hakkai being somewhat more undressed than the others with his pants at his knees.

Goku's eyes return to Sanzo back, the priest curled in tight on his side of the bed, and the small brunette licks his lips for all the visions seeing Gojyo and Hakkai have put into his head. He crawls over to Sanzo and puts an arm over the blonde's waist while his free hand pets at soft hair. "Sanzo…" he says, pulling in close behind the monk despite the dangers. "I just wanna be with you. Like Gojyo and Hakkai wanna be with each other. That's not a bad thing."

"Get off. I'm not interested." Replies the monk's terse tone.

Goku snuggles in closer. "Come on, Sanzo, please. Who cares if we're not alone? We can pretend we are. Besides…it's kinda…sexy…seeing them like that."

Sanzo huffs loudly, declaring his belief that Goku is an utter idiot. The monkey doesn't get it. "I said no."

"You think I don't understand but I do." Goku says, reading Sanzo's thoughts easily as he moves the hand around Sanzo's waist up the monk's chest. He feels the smooth muscles there, the ridiculously soft skin, and loves the sensation, unable to stop himself as he kisses the place between Sanzo's shoulders. While he speaks, he brings the hand on Sanzo's chest lower, moving carefully so that Sanzo isn't aware of his intentions until it is too late, and Goku suddenly has a firm hold on the prize. "You don't want them to see you vulnerable, right? Sex is a pretty vulnerable thing. It's putting everything on the line, being with someone that way. But why worry about that, Sanzo? They don't care. Not even Hakkai. If they're not worried about looking vulnerable or weak to us, why should it matter? I just…wanna…touch you…_feel_ you. We almost lost each other too many times to count on this journey and I don't ever want to miss one moment with you. Ever. Please…"

Goku can tell Sanzo's resolve is waning merely by the silence that follows his request. If Sanzo were adamant he would answer as such, but hesitation means the priest is thinking things over.

On the other bed, Gojyo is trying to unclasp his pants while nibbling Hakkai's lips. This is surprisingly difficult. Hakkai has since kicked his pants off completely and lifts his hips rhythmically, seeking a connection that Gojyo cannot offer until he figures out how to multi-task better.

Damn buttons, Gojyo thinks, fumbling with fingers that don't seem to understand the urgency of the situation. He growls into Hakkai mouth in his frustration, causing Hakkai to snicker at him. Pulling apart at last and eyes meeting, the pair silently decides that cooperation is needed.

Gojyo lifts his hips and Hakkai takes the initiative to undo the kappa's pants, handling it with steady hands despite his unsteady breathing. In a few moments Gojyo's pants have been tossed aside to join Hakkai's on the floor. With this newly acquired freedom and the instant contact of skin on skin, Hakkai—erotically charged enough to nearly forget his sore shoulders—wraps his arms around Gojyo, grabs hold of the kappa by his newly bare cheeks, and pulls down until their groins press tight together.

Hakkai gasps. Gojyo moans. Neither can think of anything more perfect than rocking their hips as slowly and deeply as possible.

Sanzo and Goku seem to have been forgotten, but they have not forgotten Gojyo and Hakkai. The gasps and moans sounding from the other bed are unmistakable and even if Sanzo hadn't made up his mind, those mindlessly erotic noises probably would have made it up for him.

Looking over his shoulder to meet intense, hungry gold, Sanzo grabs the hand currently gripping just bellow his beltline and looks as serious as he can before saying, "Damn monkey. I'm on top," and then flips their positions so quickly, Goku barely has time to register that he is now on his back with his keeper atop him, passionately kissing his neck.

Grinning to himself in triumph, Goku closes his eyes and soaks in the surrounding sensations for a moment—Sanzo's lips and tongue on his neck, Sanzo's body pressing down on his, Sanzo's hands moving to grip his hips and pull at his shorts, and of course…Hakkai and Gojyo's stifled moans and heavy breathing. Goku feels devilish for finding those sounds so pleasing, but they are. Knowing that his friends are just as intimately touching and moving as he is about to be with Sanzo only intensifies Goku's need tonight. For the first time, he thinks he understands why Gojyo has all those video tapes.

Sanzo is very much a prude in most things and right now he is feeling that part of him berating him for giving in and allowing this while Gojyo and Hakkai are in the other bed doing the same things. Actually, judging by the extent of their noises now, Sanzo is pretty sure the other two are doing a little more at this point. He doesn't want to look and find out, but the thought of them looking over here and seeing him and Goku makes his stomach flip. It isn't a bad thought but an anxious one. It speeds his adrenaline, and against Sanzo's better judgment he realizes he kind of likes it.

Goku is so going to pay for this in the morning. They all are, Sanzo decides. He vows never again to allow this. For now, however, he figures if he is going to allow it now he might as well enjoy himself.

One swift motion removes Goku of his shorts and Sanzo tosses them to the floor. The little imp already took off his shirt, Sanzo notices, meaning the only article left is Sanzo's own pants. Much as Sanzo's mind may be made up, he hesitates to remove his pants. He pulls his mouth from where he had been ravaging Goku's collarbone and looks to the side, taking in the racy sight of Gojyo and Hakkai grinding on the other bed, both naked. Sanzo swallows hard. Damn it all if that view isn't—

"Pretty hot, huh?" Goku breathes, his voice soft but unmistakably smug sounding. When Sanzo glances down at Goku, he winks up at him. "Don't look at me like that, Sanzo. You know they're hot. They're great together. Like us." Reaching for one of the hands Sanzo currently has braced on Goku's chest, Goku takes that hand and laces their fingers together, admiring the way pale and tan skin clash and yet look so beautiful next to each other. "Perfect compliments." Goku says, looking once at Gojyo and Hakkai and then back to Sanzo. He smiles. "Just like an orange paper airplane in a blue sky. Don't ya think?"

When did the monkey get so damn smart? "Shut up." Sanzo replies, and he doesn't mind at all that he is grinning as he descends for a kiss.

Meeting tongues immediately on contact, Goku kisses Sanzo back with heightened passion, half of his mind remaining with the image of Hakkai and Gojyo next to them and half on the reality of Sanzo's kiss and Sanzo's touch. The monkey quickly moves his hands between their bodies to begin undoing Sanzo's pants and make things even again.

Gojyo reaches between the beds where he made sure to leave his open bag, ensuring access to the little tube he is more than happy to have use for right now. Not quite ready for it yet, however, he sets it on the nightstand and with his attentions momentarily away from the naked man beneath his own naked body, Gojyo catches sight of Sanzo and Goku, remembering for the first time in quite some time that he and Hakkai are not alone.

The kappa has to admit that his friends paint quite the sensuous picture, kissing deeply, their own naked bodies moving as Hakkai's and Gojyo's had been. Sanzo's pants are still around the monk's ankles but Sanzo remedies that with a few violent kicks. Gojyo has of course seen both friends naked on several occasions during this journey but never moving like this in tight sexual contact. Gojyo almost chokes when he thinks that Goku looks like one hell of a kisser. That thought is just a little too squicky to stomach.

Returning his attentions to Hakkai's heaving chest, Gojyo runs his tongue over a nipple and hears Hakkai hiss in pleasure. He hasn't noticed that Hakkai too had looked over at Sanzo and Goku and is still looking, watching the wave-like movements of their friends while feeling Gojyo's tongue and teeth on his skin. Hakkai never would have thought of himself as someone who would enjoy watching, but he can't seem to tear his eyes away now that he has caught sight of the pleasing pair on the other bed.

Lifting up from masterful tongue and teeth-work, Gojyo takes clear notice of Hakkai's gaze being directed nowhere near him but rather to the left at the adjacent bed. Gojyo is not at all offended, but grins evilly, thinking that Hakkai's short breaths and flush cheeks are ridiculously adorable and very much worth teasing.

"Enjoying the show?" Gojyo whispers, climbing back up Hakkai's body and breathing heatedly against Hakkai's ear.

Hakkai shivers, averting his gaze with shamed quickness. "I…don't know what you mean."

"Come on, I know the whole thing's gotta be sending a few nice pulses south. Me and you like this. Them over there the same way. It boggles the mind with how fuckin' hot this is. Even monkey-boy's not all that bad to look at." Gojyo backs up his point by looking over and enjoying the sight of Goku arching into Sanzo's touch as the monk sucks on the tender sinew of his neck. "Shit. I'd be weirded out if it wasn't really helping things along." He adds, licking at Hakkai's lips and rolling his hips to feel the hard lengths of flesh sandwiched between their bodies. When Hakkai tries to turn Gojyo's teasing laps of his tongue into true kisses, Gojyo pulls continuously just out of reach, driving Hakkai mad with lack of completion.

But Gojyo wants things drawn out in every way possible. He knows just how close both are to pumping each other towards an end and if he doesn't move things along they are going to end up doing just that. Not that Gojyo would mind terribly, but he has something even better in mind.

Blindly reaching for the tube on the nightstand, Gojyo grabs it tightly…and has his wrist grabbed just as tightly in return.

"Get your own."

"This _is_ mine."

Sanzo growls. He is aware of his mistake but the lube on the nightstand had been so conveniently placed he had reached for it without thinking only to find it already in Gojyo's grasp. Now, with a tight hold on Gojyo's wrist, Sanzo is not about to admit defeat.

He needs the tube too damn it.

"Now, now, I'm sure we can be…adults about this." Hakkai says breathlessly from his position beneath Gojyo, feeling much more bashful about looking at Sanzo and Goku now that both of them are looking at him and Gojyo. Meeting gazes in these intimate positions is a shockwave of reality.

Goku, seeing the near-horror in Hakkai's eyes, the incredulity in Gojyo's, and the anger in Sanzo's above him, almost bursts out laughing. Never in his life could he imagine a funnier situation—Gojyo and Sanzo fighting over lube while Hakkai and Goku remain helplessly pinned beneath them.

"Come now, Sanzo, Gojyo. We can share." Hakkai says, not realizing the humor to his words until he has spoken them.

This time Goku does giggle. "I'll share Sanzo so long as I don't have to touch the kappa." He says with a knowing smile.

Hakkai looks positively appalled by the implications of that, and coming from Goku of all people.

Sanzo, still keeping his hold on Gojyo's wrist, whirls his head back to glare down at Goku, not at all pleased to be offered up like a piece of meat, or, more likely, a meatbun.

Gojyo, comprehending Goku's humor better than the other two, thinks the comment is worthy of joint laughter and breaks into a large smile. "Go monkey." He says. "Who'd have ever thought you could make a crack like that? And well played too. If we ever did swap, you damn right it would be Hakkai for his holiness over there. No way in hell would I ever let _Sanzo_ have a chance at my baby."

Upon hearing this interesting bit of news, Sanzo and Hakkai exchange looks that signal both are debating just how much they feel like giving in to their lovers' whims tonight. Seeing this, Goku speaks up quickly. "We're just kidding. Sheesh, you guys. How else are we s'posed to keep you from freaking out if we don't crack jokes? I don't wanna mess around with Gojyo or Hakkai. Only you." He says to Sanzo, looking up at his savior with an honest smile though the twinkle in his eyes is still quite devious. "Kinda like this side by side stuff though." He adds.

Sanzo's pulse quickens, half in anger, half with anxious intent. Though officially he is disgusted by Goku's blatant enjoyment of this highly inappropriate turn of events, unofficially…he thinks it is unfairly sexy. He ignores Goku for the moment and returns his attention to Gojyo. "Hand it over…when you're finished." He says, slowly releasing Gojyo's wrist. "Take too long and I'll take it by force." He adds, just for good measure.

Gojyo offers a nod, still smirking, and takes the tube, using what he needs from it and taking his time with it too. Sanzo is purposely looking away but Goku is watching. Gojyo has never thought about being this much of an exhibitionist but the butterflies caused by it, that lingering feeling of being watched because he knows eyes other than Hakkai's are on him, adds a sordid element he cannot deny enjoying.

Coating his length and leaving a good amount on his fingers, Gojyo lifts Hakkai legs, tucking them under his arms for better access. A short grunt reminds Gojyo of the agreement and he tosses the tube in a slow arc over to the other bed. Meeting Sanzo's eye now that the priest is looking, Gojyo winks, running one hand down Hakkai's thigh while the other seeks a more intimate harbor.

Sanzo swallows back the dryness in his throat and looks away, grabbing the tube that has landed next to Goku on the bed. The pride in him tells him to ignore that the others are here, to ignore what they are doing, but before Sanzo has finished coating his own hard and ready length the sounds that float over from the other bed cause the tube to slip from his slick fingers. Sanzo doesn't have to look to know that Gojyo has begun preparing Hakkai; the whimpers and pleading moans from the healer are desperate and constant in the otherwise quiet room. Sanzo pretends those sounds are not the reason he hardens a little further.

Lifting his legs for Sanzo's benefit, Goku smiles out at the monk before returning again to watching Gojyo and Hakkai. He feels no shame and his pride doesn't mind one bit. He has never seen two men involved sexually, sans being part of the experience himself, and that their amorous neighbors are Gojyo and Hakkai only makes it more enticing to watch.

"Pay attention, monkey, or you can join them if you like the sight so much." Sanzo's tone is gruff, but more from his arousal than from any real anger.

When slick but unforgiving fingers push into Goku without warning or preceding preparation, Goku's attention is brought quickly back to his own bedroom activities. He gasps, arms shooting up to grip Sanzo's and squeeze in unexpected pain. His eyes look up accusingly at the monk but Sanzo kisses him before any angry remarks can be spoken. Sanzo and Goku both know how difficult it is to actually hurt the young brunette, but to point out his indignancy Goku turns his kiss bruising and bites down hard on Sanzo's bottom lip.

Pulling back with a growl, Sanzo removes his intruding fingers and flips Goku over so fast the monkey is on his stomach before he even feels the rush of air. Despite knowing Sanzo can't and wouldn't ever really try to hurt him, the little brunette's eyes widen and look back at Sanzo fearfully.

"I want you thinking of me, not them. Is that asking so much?"

Goku feels a wave of guilt wash over him. He wants only Sanzo. He has never doubted that. "Sorry." He says, grinning back at the monk. Reaching around at almost awkward angles, he grabs both of Sanzo's hands, bringing one around his own hips to the neglected front and leading the other to his backside. "Please…" he says, urging Sanzo to continue.

Though Goku's head is facing the other bed with the monkey on his stomach, gold eyes close in waiting, focusing solely on the feel of Sanzo now and nothing else.

Sanzo doesn't mean to make Goku act so submissive, but that Goku would, that Goku is so willingly doing as he asked is enough to have Sanzo's slight irritation dissipate.

Sanzo's fingers return, gentler now, and as he readies Goku he leans down and whispers that as long as Goku never forgets who he is really with, he can do what he wants. This of course is the monk's subtle way of saying Goku can look at Gojyo and Hakkai again, and though Goku at first misses the implications, when he realizes Sanzo is granting him permission, he opens his eyes, afforded the perfect view while Sanzo works him.

By now Gojyo has entered Hakkai fully, Hakkai's legs up and folded, his body taxed by the position though in truth this is the best position to keep his shoulders steady and unused, comfortably resting on the mattress. While Gojyo rocks his hips slowly, and Hakkai raises his with each movement to take Gojyo deeper, both are wet with sweat and panting.

Hakkai's lips are trembling, his mouth half open. Gojyo, however, has his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down to keep his wits together while pleasure courses through him like raindrops streaming down a window pain.

Goku moans at the ridiculously sexy sight before realizing he is moaning for another reason as well. Snapping his full attention back to Sanzo, Goku looks behind him and meets violet, intense violet that speaks of their newfound connection even more than the fullness Goku feels from having Sanzo inside of him. The strain on Goku's neck by trying to see Sanzo reminds Goku that as good as the increasing rhythm of Sanzo's hips feels, he is not getting what he wanted.

"Hey…I …said…next time…I wanted to be on my…back." The monkey manages, his voice breathy and halted in time with Sanzo's thrusting. "I can't…see you."

Sanzo grunts. "You want me to stop?" he spits out, gripping Goku's hips tightly and pressing his thumbs into the very small bit of fleshiness around the bone.

Goku's silence makes the request obvious.

If Sanzo wasn't as nice of a guy as he is, he wouldn't even consider this. Therefore, he pulls out, flips Goku over and slams back in without much tenderness to accentuate his frustrations.

Goku moans loudly at this, but doesn't really mind. He just wanted to see Sanzo better. Now he can.

Neither speaks of the reason Sanzo flipped Goku onto his stomach in the first place, though Goku can guess. Part of it probably has to do with feeling too weird about having such obviously parallel sex as the pair next to them. Goku almost giggles. Making Sanzo less of a prude is going to take work, but tonight is one hell of a start.

Gojyo leans down to kiss Hakkai, their hips rocking more hurriedly now, and when he pulls back, smiling down at the flushed brunette, he gives a small gesture with his chin at the other bed before looking over himself. Hakkai follows the example and when the healer sees the progression—Sanzo and Goku rocking together, panting and moaning and slippery with sweat—Hakkai feels an unexpected shoot of pleasure travel towards his groin.

Having gotten the desired effect from Hakkai, Gojyo reaches down and takes Hakkai in hand, pumping the flesh just as he is pumping his hips. Moving his eyes back and forth between Hakkai's beautifully wanton face and the sight of Goku and Sanzo, Gojyo soon sees that the monk is thinking along the same lines as him.

Goku cries out when Sanzo grabs him, the monk's grip inviting but desperate and brutal. Holding back for so long has made Sanzo insistent to get off and Goku feels much the same. Locking eyes and silently consenting, their hips rock harder, Sanzo's hand pumping Goku fervently, as they seek a quick and dirty end.

A small bit of smugness settles over Gojyo at realizing the monk and monkey don't seem to have the control to start things slowly, but Gojyo quickly forgets that part of it. How much better to focus on possibility, after all? Gojyo's often perverted mind rather likes the idea of finding a like rhythm and riding though to the end together.

The part of his brain that once thought only of women rebukes him for such sordid thoughts, but Gojyo could care less. He picks up the pace with his hips and his hand on Hakkai, rocking with the same eagerness as the others. Hakkai, slightly startled at first, gives into sensation quickly, following Gojyo's lead. Soon, both beds are creaking together, moving together, hips rocking in strange unison and sounds rising from all four men that only spurn them all further on.

Several times differently colored eyes meet, sometimes the expected red and green or violet and gold, but also gold and crimson, violet and emerald, gold and emerald, anything, everything. While enjoying their own lovers they are also sharing the sight of each other, feeding off the experience of unified love from two separate beds.

It is not so easy to finish as one, but although Hakkai and Gojyo finish first, having a head start in so many ways, no one cares who did what or finished when by the time both couples are exhausted, curled up in their own beds with their own lovers while the soiled sheets lie in a joined heap on the floor.

"The maid is gonna hate us." Goku snickers, muffling his laughter in Sanzo's chest as he curls into the warmth of his savior's body.

Gojyo snorts. "You kidding? She'll probably love us. Four guys in one room and those sheets? We'll give her wet dreams for a month."

Hakkai, mortified at allowing what just happened but also amazingly relaxed and content, shakes his head at Gojyo. "Really, Gojyo. That we went ahead with this at all is…terribly inappropriate. Unseemly hardly describes our activities. And _I'm_ cleaning those sheets in the morning."

Gojyo rolls his eyes but doesn't think to question Hakkai, knowing the healer as he does.

Sanzo, never willing to regret anything, looks over at the other pair and then back at himself and Goku. Their own comforters are covering their nakedness but the lingering images of both couples sexually involved are not easy to shake. Sanzo's first thought is to bark out some kind of threat, though he isn't exactly sure what he would be threatening. He decides instead to issue a warning.

"If this ever happens again, and it damn well better not," he says, "One condition. The only thing shared is the _room_. Got me?"

Hakkai, eyes wide, nods in horrified agreement.

Gojyo nods as well, wearing a slow grin to indicate how hilarious he finds the whole thing.

Goku snickers.

Despite any awkwardness, however, the four men sleep more soundly than they have in months, maybe more. Considering all that has happened to them, especially tonight, not a single one of them can avoid wondering just what the journey east will bring them. Whatever things may come their way, though, they are certain they can handle it. They might not have much control over their libidos, but any other obstacles they are more than ready to face.

Tomorrow.

THE REAL END

A/N: Boy that was longer than I thought it was going to be. Oh well. I'm sure you all don't mind. What did you think of the semi-joint sex? Hehe. I like to be evil.

Well, it looks like this is the real end. However, since so many of you want another part, who am I to refuse you. However, it will be long in coming and slow because original work has to come first. I humbly thank you all for you reviews. The response on this has been so wonderful I think I might cry. You guys are incredible. Don't hold back now. Give me comments on the sex. ;-)

This feel like a transition rather than an end so...let's just say til next time and I will see you all soon.

Crimson


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